Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Talk about movies !!

sitting at home I am surely watching them a lot. Will surely follow.

Strange how the life can change suddently. Here I was having no time at all .... and suddenly....

Good to see that Dutch is feeling better now.

Lav, I too drove around Pennsylvania last month, went to University to meet a cousin but loved driving thru the farms etc.

Tomorrow is a big day will be closing hopefully on a big contract. Strange how even big customers who expect you to be there can understand and can close deals on phone. But sitting home for me also brings a sad truth. when no one visits you, one does realzie that you dont ahve friends. All those years of drinking away and working like a horse all I did was to distance myself from existing friends.

even my wife asks me, how come you dont have friends. I could answer her in so many ways. But I guess some people have that art of attracting attention, while most of the time its fake just to attract attention but even with that they do end up surrounded by people.

take care and have a nice day folks ...

[KENSHO]

Mornin - 'er... Afternoon All! I spend the morning with my kiddos. They have a day off. I planned to get their checkups and flu shots out of the way, and then keep working. But I thought better of that and realized that I don't get many days like this. So we visited a fun health food store and bummed around, and took some old clothes in to the kids' consignment - kids got new shirts and a dress - and got lunch together. I loved just "hanging out" with them, without a care about when I would be able to get to the liquor store, or dragging them through one. I plan to work for 3 hours or so, then we will go to the nearby pumpkin patch to pick us out some soon to be jack-o-lanterns. My daughter is having a bit of trouble falling asleep without us, saying she feels like she wants more time with us, and more love (turn the knife a bit more young one). Though I know I am a good mom, I do think I could "rush around" a bit less, and really talk with my kids and spend more quality time with them. The reality is that someone has to make dinner most nights, and someone has to fold the laundry and get groceries, etc. - but when I get a day I can be with them with no strings attached - I'm glad to say I will take it.

Pav, forgot to thank you for your links to the blog and bubble hour. I started it last night, but didn't get far - but I will look back into it tonight. I appreciate your recommendations.

Dutch, glad you are in working order.

Have a good day everyone!

[LavenderBlue]

Hiya Nesters!

So much going on here lately! I've been busy here, too, but not with anything interesting. I've still been plugging away at trying to get as much done as I can before starting the new job. I go in tomorrow for my entry paperwork and a few hours of training. I'm nervous, but also more confident than I've been in a long time. That may not make sense, but what I mean is my mind still wants to go to a place where I'm nervous and worried I'll fail BUT I can unpack those feelings now and remind myself I don't need to be. I have schooling and experience, and now I don't have any secrets to hide.

Knowing me, I'll feel much better once I actually start. Once I can see that I'm doing it I'll lose a lot of the worry.

In the meantime I've been making sure to eat regularly and make time for fun in the middle of the errand-running. I'm not really craving at the moment, but I know drinking was how I used to handle new job jitters. (Well...and to handle everything else, but you know what I mean.) I think that's been something that's really helped me in my quit - trying to really see when there's a good chance for temptation and trying to bolster my tools early. Plus, it means I'm taking time to re-dedicate myself in a way. I have to sit with myself and really think about if I'm leaving myself loopholes and if I have other ways planned to help me get through.

[Mr Vervill]

If I may, three more movies to add, two are very old, Lost Weekend, 1945, and Days of wine and Roses, 1962, with Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick. And one from 1988, Clean and Sober with Michael Keaton.
Kensho, precious time with the kiddos, relish it. It passes so quickly. Glad you're sober to remember it.
Good Luck with the new job, LavB.
Glad nothing too serious, Dutch.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Sounds like everyone is doing fine

Had a busy day but it was all good!
I'm going to take my granddaughter to visit Longwood Gardens tomorrow. We've been taking her there since she was born so she's very familiar with it & loves the flowers & displays. Grateful for my healthy choices so that I can enjoy these precious times.

Rahul, you were really here in the area recently? How about that!!! I hope someone drops by to visit soon

LavB, good luck tomorrow!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

I'm glad to be able to have a coherent, thoughtful conversation with my husband late at night. I'm glad to be able to laugh with my children before bed instead of falling asleep at 8:30. I'm glad to experience feelings of all kinds - even the hard ones and sick ones, because I will have more clarity and grace through it all. I'm glad to have better judgement and more self-respect. I am not missing anything, I am gaining presence and depth. I do sometimes long for that detached feeling, but when I think of all that goes along with it, there is no contest. That was the old me. What are other ways to detach and unwind and quiet the mind and let go? Maybe consciously deciding to detach, unwind, quiet the mind and let go? Music? Bath? Deep breathing? Working on that one.

[junelivertrack]

Hi All,
I've been away for 3days (3 days? im not so sure.. haha sorry)...

Anyway, I've been to my parents' house, and of course I had to tuck my computer away...

But I seriously missed all of you guys! decided to visit the nest before getting some zzzz's (I've got a list movies to watch now! yay! *waving my sheet of paper in the air*)

[Dutch1988]

Saving Mr Banks always struck me last year. I had decided to not drink for a month, which seemed like an impossible amount of time. My wife and I were watching it and I hated seeing a dad so in love with his little girl screwing up so badly because of alcohol. I told myself I would never get like that, and it may be one of the things that led me here.

Good to see you June!

[All done drinking]

even my wife asks me, how come you dont have friends. I could answer her in so many ways. But I guess some people have that art of attracting attention, while most of the time its fake just to attract attention but even with that they do end up surrounded by people.

Well, you have your online friends here Rahul, so never feel entirely friendless. Recovery is a strange thing when we think about friends. It is a lot easier to get together with the excuse of having a drink and I find myself not as likely to do that when I'm not drinking. I did go with a co-worker and she drank and I had a non-al drink and the evening was fine (I don't have a problem if others drink around me) but just find myself not as inclined to want to do that when I'm not drinking al so I have felt a little pinch in the friend department at times as well. As I've shared with others, my very dear and long time friend hasn't made the time to get together with me since the day I quit drinking. She just loves to drink too much and I know my non drinking makes her look at her own, and she doesn't want to do that. She only wants to get together with folks who drink like her and I am sure you are finding that too Rahul, that some of those so called "friendships" really only had the common denominator of alcohol. At least we have each other here and I am grateful for that.

Take care all, On my way to tack on another day. TJAF, I'll be joining your little group very soon. It's been a goal of mine since day 1.

Addy

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

I read through all of the posts and then had to go deal with some family stuff. And then my computer went wonko. And now I'm going to bed. I appreciate all of what you all said, especially the funny stuff.

I am waiting for Matt to come along with an - ahem - off color joke about your "pain in the ass" situation, Dutch. I am glad to hear that in spite of the pain you'll be ok.

And welcome back, June. Hope you had fun.

Good night, nesters. Sleep well.

Pav

[Guitarista]

What are other ways to detach and unwind and quiet the mind and let go? Maybe consciously deciding to detach, unwind, quiet the mind and let go? Music? Bath? Deep breathing? Working on that one.

Yo Nesters near and not so far.

Kensho, what about Buddhism? That's detachment city. And mindfulness.....about observing thoughts, but letting them go, not attaching to them. Also C.B.T. (cognitive behavioural therapy). Simpler than it sounds and should make sense to you.

59 in the bank. Not too shabby. Take care out there.

xpost. Gnight Pavi! err, we don't joke about the crown jewels.....;-)

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters

Sunny & a bit chilly here ~ nice!

Kensho, I just saw that Deepak Chopra is doing another free 21 day meditation - sign up!

https://chopracentermeditation.com/

There's no better way to detach, learn & grow

Welcome back June!

Nice job on 59 days G

Have a terrific AF day everyone!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
G, I'm warming up the Prize Patrol for your 60 days tomorrow!!!
NoSugar is clocking in with 1000 Days today! I bet my lunch money that 999 days ago, she'd have never thought she would now be a trusted LEADER on a NO-DRINKING Board!! Mercy, how life changes!!

Kensho, I needed some sort of transition from the my workday to the evening (besides that first drink, which was the switch flipper for me). I work from home and I COULD work 24 hours a day if I didn't disconnect. I take a bubble bath and 'wash off my day'. It works for me and is the transition I need to move into my AF evening. Calgon, TAKE ME AWAY!!!! (remember that commercial?)

Mr Byrdie has gone to visit his relatives a few hours away so I took the opportunity to go into the city and eat lunch wherever I wanted and do a little retail therapy. It was chilly and windy out and for some reason, when wind hits my eyes, they water. (I hate that). So as soon as I got outside, the wind was a-howling. I went to the Chinese Buffet for lunch. The check came and the waitress said, 'I give you discount!' I was thrilled, of course, I love a good value! Then I went to AC Moore to grab a couple of items for the Thanksgiving table. When I got to the register, I told the clerk I had a coupon....she said, 'let's use mine, it's better' and sure enough, I got 55% off an item! Then I ran into Cato (ladies clothing) to look around. The associate kept telling me about their great clearance rack. Instead, I found a cute sweater I decided to try on. When I got back there and looked in the mirror, my hair had fallen out of the clip on one side and my mascara was running down my face like a pathetic CLOWN!! No wonder I was getting discounts all over the place, I looked like a homeless person!! EGADS!!! I did a quick touch up in the fitting room as best I could. I made a bee-line home!

Thank you for the additional movie recommendations, I have a list going now!! I hope everyone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[Starfish1]

Byrdie, you make me laugh every single day! Thank you!

G man- crown jewels :hahaha: Sorry, Dutch, I know it's not that funny to you, but G man cracked me up!

TJ- your mention of “Pa” of Little House on the Prairie fame made me wonder if Pa weren’t actually “one of us” I mean, he named his favorite daughter half pint! Right?

Kensho, I love your gratitude list. The more of your posts I read, the more I am convinced that we are twins that were separated at birth. And Mr V was correct. The time with the kids is priceless. Brush the other stuff (like chores) to the side and go play with the kids. I didn't do that and wish I had.

I have a really busy day at work and so many family members to take care of during the off hours, it is quite the challenge. I am so happy to be sober while doing it all.

Have a great day everyone!

xoxo

[All done drinking]

OMGosh, you guys are making me laugh today. Byrdie, that was just too funny and Star, I loved the half pint joke, hmmmm, it does make one wonder.

I'm off to do a ton of chores so will have a busy day. The key I think with some of the discussion yesterday is to keep busy and find new ventures. And hopefully, some of those new ventures will include new non drinking friends.

Have an empowered day friends.

Addy
p.s. Liked that meditation link too Lav. Thank you.