Newbies Nest

[Starfish1]

I don't even remember why we ever wore shoulder pads in the first place? :hmms: I didn't like them either, Lav.

I sure do appreciate the honesty here about even the old timers having fleeting thoughts about escaping with a drink.

I didn't have a really good day yesterday and today has started off poorly too. It seems each day offers an unforeseen challenge to deal with. These are not the worst things (No one is at death's door this week), but they are pretty big problems. And there are just so many of them. It seems this whole year has been "one for the books".

I am glad I am not drinking. That would not make things better, but I WAS having thoughts of escape from this life this morning on the drive in. Most of the thoughts were just about driving off into the sunrise (And it was a magnificent one). I fantasized about lounging on a tropical island and for a split second, that fantasy included having a very large and festive looking drink in my hand. Then, I realized that, if I did actually escape all my problems and be fortunate enough to land on a beautiful island, I would want to be able to enjoy all the beauty it had to offer. The sunrises and the sunsets, the starry, moonlit nights and the feel of the wind, sand and sea. I have missed too much of that in my life and am just beginning to be able to enjoy those types of things again.

So, onward and upward. I will take this day, just like we have to take them all. One at a time.

[Starfish1]

everything that happens to us makes us the people we are now and that some of the worst experiences can give us some of our greatest strengths.

Cross Post, NS...Thanks for that :hug:

[KENSHO]

The only thing I hate more than shoulder pads are panty hose! Won't catch me in 'em! Have a safe and sober day everyone. Send me some "brighter sky" thought if you can. I have an important photo shoot today and the clouds are socked in - the low light can hurt the shots!

[LilBit]

I wish the 55 year old me could go back and warn the 25 year old me what was ahead! Can you imagine how different things would be??? (the mind reels as this is considered) In a lot of ways it has made me a stronger person and certainly more patient and empathetic. It CAN happen to you, because it happened to me! I hope that in 30 more years, I am sitting here typing that I am almost 35 years sober! Back to the Future, indeed!

Amen to that! I'd probably want to swat the 25-year-old me into next Tuesday. Some things I'd tell her (besides "Put down the dang White Zinfandel!"):

- Ignoring the shoulder pad that just fell out of your navy blazer into the salad bar probably isn't the best strategy for impressing that business associate. (Oh yes, I did. 'Left it lying right there between the bins of cherry tomatoes and baby corn. I sat crooked the rest of the lunch until I found an auspicious moment to rip the other one out.)
- If you perm your hair every three months for the next decade, you will wind up with something like dry Ramen noodles atop your head.
- Once the Guns N Roses tape is all pulled out of the cassette and tangled, you can roll it back in with a pencil eraser but it will never play the same.
- Leg warmers, headbands and skin-tight shiny spandex pants do not an athlete make.

There are other things, involving "great investments," relationships with Don Johnson wannabe men and an incident with leg hair removal creme that are just to painful to dwell upon, but suffice it to say that I'm happy to be the "present" LilBit, made up by all the bumps and scars and bad decisions that put me here.

[Eloise]

Well. Hey guys. Resurfacing, school break this week so no art classes.
Writing with an update on my headaches. Doctor referred me to counselling last week, didn't make me feel so good about myself.
I downloaded a mindfulness app and signed up for a co-dependency website to try and start working on how I look at life. Situations. Relationships. My reactions. Social phobias I have developed. All of it. My anxiety has really been too much lately, lack of sleep, broken sleep, heart beating fast in the middle of the night etc.
I will definitely continue here and maybe I should be posting more too I just feel like I am not in urgent need for help not drinking and not sure if my current headache problems belong here or not? Maybe I shouldn't bother people with my aches, pains and general malaise. It is not drinking that is making it all tolerable. I may have jumped from a bridge by now, or at the very least run away, if I were drinking. I am sure of this. I guess we all know that the problems do not go away just because we stop drinking.
This codependency has come up in the past and I haven't taken much action. I feel I have to now.

[Starfish1]

El :hug: I'm so sorry you are not feeling so well these days. Sometimes it is difficult to post when you feel like you are sort of "down". It's that way for me too. But...I have been advised by some of the old timers to keep posting. I hope you will too. I had the same thoughts that you did this morning about the way drinking would cause all the problems to be worse.

I hope you feel better soon! Sometimes, I have to think really hard about what I could do to make myself feel better even if its just for a little while. That has made me realize that sometimes these days it doesn't take too very much to help me out of a temporary slump. I get a tiny bit of pleasure out of some of the simplest things these days and sometimes I have to be grateful for even that. It helps get through the one day...and that's all we gotta do, right?

Thanks for posting, El!

[Mr Vervill]

You ladies with all the garment malfunctions are cracking me up. It' good to be a guy. But, I did have 6, yes 6, sisters growing up, so I lived through all that turmoil vicariously.

Folks I can't tell you enough how much easier this all gets with time. Make no mistake ill never take my sobriety for granted. I know one thing for sure, even now I can't visualize one drink. Even when my mind wanders and I think about having a drink, I see a bottle not a shot measure. That's just the reality! Drinking is not an option. I have no illusions. I can not drink socially. I am an alcoholic.

Well said, TJAF!

Trite as is sounds, you get 1000 days just the way you'd expect - one day at a time. It's tough at the beginning. To get from day 1 to day 2, you have to double your efforts, which seems kind of daunting. But as each day passes, the percentage of your total effort goes down - like TJ said, it gets easier and easier as you go.

Each day used to seem interminable. Now a day is 0.1% of the total - Easy Peasy :smile:.

Easy Paesy! Thanks, NS
Faced a big challenge last night, met at a bar with a fairly large groups of colleagues, some retired now, 20 or so people, for a get together, we do about once a year or so. It's usually a time for drinking a lot and embellishing old stories of the job. I was worried about drinking, and brought my wife along (she was the only spouse present, but knows many of the people). Getting through the night was easier than I thought, just drank water, and no one, not even once, questioned why I wasn't drinking. I just kept the conversations rolling by bringing up more stories, and boy, do we have some whoppers. It was a fun night without the AL. And when the alarm rang at 6am this morning, I was so glad not to be hung over.

[Starfish1]

Great Job, Mr. V!

I am having to stick close today. It seems the universe is against me right now. I am having to take it minute by minute here. I appreciate all the reminders about how much better it is not to drink.

[Eloise]

Thanks Star.
Yeah, this has been going on for quite a while now. I have finally started to talk a bit more freely with my husband but only because I had a friend here and she said 'you have to talk to him.'
Been losing weight ( a good thing I thought) but now getting comments I am too skinny. I thought that wasn't possible?

I can't seem to get myself thinking positive. It just seems life is too hard here. But I do not have another solution.
I am not going to my horse as often too. Busy. Maybe I need to pick up one extra night with him. He makes me laugh because he is a complete hooligan!!
Love him. Okay, grateful for Mozart. That is definitely true.

I read something that helped just now, how we cannot control how people behave, react to us, say or do ... I just thought 'good point.'
People do not behave how we want them to. Me, I am still hiding in the house guys. How am I going to get used to all this? And now the drama is coming to me again.
;(

[Eloise]

Oh Star everything is much easier without alcohol. Don't kid yourself that it will be just one.
It won't. If that were true you wouldn't be here, right?
Work through it... EAT!! That always gets rid of my cravings. Good luck to day!

[Starfish1]

El, I petted my collie for just a few minutes this morning and that made us both feel better. I often think of my pets during the day when things aren't going too well and that thought cheers me a little. So I think you are right about spending more time with Mozart.
I ate.
I just got another blow (bit of bad news) a couple hours ago on top of a lot of other issues and its tough to shake it off. I know drinking is not the answer. And I know it wouldn't be just one. And I know it wouldn't be just one day. Thanks!

[Eloise]

Oh, sorry to hear his Star. I remember how hard it was to be at work and deal with crap.
By the time you can focus on things you are already wound up.
Try and remind yourself you will deal better sober and it will also seem to pass quicker.

[Quit wining]

Sorry the bad news keeps happening Star but good for you for knowing AL wouldn't help.

My favourite relative passed away Saturday and the funeral was yesterday, across the country. I couldn't be there.

A few months ago that news would have triggered several trips to the liquor store. Not this time. I couldn't change the bad news but I could change the way I responded.

Star, El, pets are fabulous friends. I'm fortunate to have the time every day to walk my 13 year old border collie X about 4 miles. She's my constant companion and has been such a big help with my quit. As my signature says, I try to be the person my dog thinks I am.

Some things in life suck and will continue to suck no matter what. It's how we show up that changes everything.

Hope everyone is having a great AF day!

[Byrdlady]

Congrats on your 60 days, QW and G! That is amazing! Well done to both of you for your impressive set.....of MONTHS! We are jumping with joy for you!
:hyper:

Eloise, I don't have any magic words to help you, but I'm glad you came to the nest to talk about it. I never feel alone as long as I have my friends here. You have so much going for you and you've overcome so much adversity, not the least of which is addiction! You are living in a foreign country and learning a new language....holy moly, that's a big ask for anyone! I hope you will cut yourself some slack, as you would do for a friend who was experiencing the same thing. I am wishing you strength and peace.

Star, same goes for you. In 10 years, will you even remember the problems of today? I hope things smooth out for you also. Hugs dear lady!!

B

[Dutch1988]

I hope you feel better Star, and the universe starts throwing you some bones with all those problems.

Nice Mr V, a bar get together sounds tough to conquer, good for you!

I am having a bad day, second day in a row, so star and I can relate. Going to just try to get through it, I don't know how all you folks do it, and say you wouldn't want to drink. I am thinking about drinking a lot, and I know damn well it wouldn't fix the problems, I never drank to fix them. I drank to numb them for a few hours, to enjoy life and not feel them as much. I could definitely go for that feeling right now, but that's why I am posting here, so I don't. It's just another day and everything could go south but that ain't gonna matter.