Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Well, late morning anyway
I have been busy since Dawn doing one thing or another. I am catching up work in my shop now so I can drive my granddaughter home this sfternoon. It's been another fun week!

G, so you like your massage??? LOL

Eloise, i have been to the Netherlands & spent a week there with my sister-in-law's family. I was amazed that everyone spoke English so well but You are are absolutely right about the missing nuances. They all reverted to Dutch when speaking to one another, leaving me totallly in the dark.
I would not take that GP's opinion to heart, especially if it was a male. They have no way in hell of possibly understanding the depth of the changes we go through in menopause. I am saying this as a medical professional myself, seriously. I have two female Nurse Practioners now, they totally understand. Get your hormone levels checked, do yourself a big favor :hug:

Addy, I hope everything is Ok.
Same with you Star!
Matt, good job on keeping the peace at home

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!

Lav

[All done drinking]

G Man, what a word picture. Eloise, I ended up in AA the first time I went to a therapist for my co-dependency issues with my alcoholic father. She felt we needed to address my drinking issues first, before she'd work with me on my co-dependency issues with him. I still struggle with that stuff too, fighting the "never good enough feeling" all of that. I remember a co-worker who has her Master's Degree and she shared with me that her father told her she could be and do anything. I sadly reflected how mine always said "You'll never be as good as the old man". I struggled for years with issues with him and then one day a line in a self help book changed my world. It said, "Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard, and the cupboard was bare". Suddenly I realized that he couldn't give to me what he didn't have. His cupboard was bare when it came to the loving, nurturing father department, and suddenly I was able to forgive him and was able to get off my pity party of not having a loving father. However, those co-dependency things come up to bite me in the butt here and there. We just have to remember, we're all a work in progress.

I have lots of chores planned for today so will check in later. I know Eloise, that I drank to not think about problems, the troubled son, the friends who I often felt I cared more for than they cared back, and numerous issues that one could label co-dependent. But, it was always just a temporary fix with a higher price to pay. During this last year when things got so bad with my teen son, I went through a period of time where I was so anxiety ridden and "strung out" feeling. I started drinking more and that gave him more power to be bad to me. If I'd chastise him about something he'd retort, "You've been drinking, go to bed" or something to that effect. Stopping drinking certainly gave me my power back with him. The anxiety also went completely away. I was having trouble sleeping and sometimes at night having full blown panic attacks and it all disappeared when the drinking went out the window. So grateful for that and for every sober day I have now where I feel in control and powerful again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwCykGDEp7M

Have an enpowered day my friends.

Addy~

[NoSugar]

Wow, what a nest!! -- such amazing empathy and support. "Me, too" is one of the most comforting and empowering responses. It is such a relief not to feel alone.

Mr. G., from one apparent hedonist to another, Way to Go! There are all sorts of pleasures much greater than we ever found in a bottle. I treat myself to a variety of them more often now both b/c I'm no longer wasting money on booze but because I like myself again and think I deserve nice things - and for me, anything that involves my body and someone doing something to it is as nice as it gets :smile:.

I'm in the air today, Nesters. Y'all stay grounded in your quits, ok?

[Eloise]

Mozart is wonderful medicine but if you want the cure, close your eyes and listen to Verdi's masterpiece La traviata

Mozart is my horse.

[Eloise]

Good morning Nesters,

Well, late morning anyway
I have been busy since Dawn doing one thing or another. I am catching up work in my shop now so I can drive my granddaughter home this sfternoon. It's been another fun week!

G, so you like your massage??? LOL

Eloise, i have been to the Netherlands & spent a week there with my sister-in-law's family. I was amazed that everyone spoke English so well but You are are absolutely right about the missing nuances. They all reverted to Dutch when speaking to one another, leaving me totallly in the dark.
I would not take that GP's opinion to heart, especially if it was a male. They have no way in hell of possibly understanding the depth of the changes we go through in menopause. I am saying this as a medical professional myself, seriously. I have two female Nurse Practioners now, they totally understand. Get your hormone levels checked, do yourself a big favor :hug:

Addy, I hope everything is Ok.
Same with you Star!
Matt, good job on keeping the peace at home

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!

Lav

how do I do that Lavande? Get my hormone levels checked? Can I do it myself? And then what?

[Starfish1]

I'm pretty sure you have to go to the doctor to get the hormone levels checked, El. What kind of headaches have you been having? I guess I missed the description.

[LavenderBlue]

I'm going into Day 3 on my new job today and wow I'm tired! You figure Tuesday I worked until 10, Wednesday was deep clean day at the shelter at 8am and then to the other job 2-10. But I'm not feeling mopey about being tired, if that makes sense. I know I've got to adjust, so if I just take it as easy as I can I'll be just fine. There is literally no way I could do this while I was drinking, much less honestly enjoy being able to keep the job I love at the shelter and still have one that pays well enough to get started paying off my debt. (Plus I'll have GOOD insurance for the first time in years!)

I hadn't realized how much I'd been performing WAY under what I'm capable of while I was drinking, and not even really enjoying the slacking. The last long term job I had was still technically part time - something like 30ish hours a week, but still. And most days that seemed like more than I could handle - when back before my drinking took hold I'd juggle fulltime work, school, and social life. i'm older now, but not that much older that I can barely manage 30 hours a week.

Even if I'm quiet on here while i adjust, I'm still reading every morning and night. And I had a thought yesterday that I thought I'd share. When my brain starts wondering if I maybe wasn't "that bad," I think about how I was before I thought I had a problem. And do you know what I find? I find highschool me disappointed that my friend only snuck a few winecoolers to her cabin because I wanted more than that just for me, never mind sharing. I remember letting a guy buy me a drink at a bar when I was 19 or 20, because my boyfriend wouldn't and even though it annoyed that boyfriend. I remember always glancing at the booze when I went to parties, confirming there wouldn't be any shortage. I remember "pregaming" before I went out and never mind that i was in my early 20's I didn't do it for fun as much as to make sure I'd catch and keep the buzz I wanted.

Those all seem like small things at the time, but they tell me I have NEVER been a normal drinker, even before I knew it. Because all those things, it's not just what I did - plenty of people do the same - but the feeling behind them, the being worried there wouldn't be enough. And it's that feeling of wondering and worrying and plotting and planning to get "enough" that i don't want to go back to, ever.

[All done drinking]

The worst part LavBlue is worrying when the wine glasses are being poured of "will my glass be as full as theirs?" Oh, I am so glad those days are behind me.

Addy~

[j-vo]

Hi all,
I'm going to settle in the nest here, as I'm just starting out, again. But I feel, at this point, that my brain has finally accepted the fact that I'm not a normal drinker. In fact, I'm an alcoholic. What I'm trying to believe is that even though I'm an alcoholic, I'm a good person. Alcoholism is a disease, and I have it. My denial over the past decade as I started, stopped, started for many years has kept me on this unmerry-go-round. I'm not willing to go through another decade suffering in this big mess. I'd love to learn who I am. I've read that our mental and emotional self does not develop until we are in recovery. Well, you all have to deal with a 20 something kid. Kids in their 20's have so much to learn, experience, and mature. I'm in that boat, I believe. I'm accomplished in my career, but as for everything else, well, I'm ready to be a grown up. I know it'll take lots of time, but I'm willing to give my time. I won't let my brain fool me any longer. I hate alcohol for robbing me of decades of happiness. That sucks saying that, but it's true, and I am ready to give up any false ideas that I can drink normally. One, two, twenty is not enough. Thank you for listening.

Matt, glad you have your MWO sponsor. I have a few numbers on speed-dial. Will use them.

El, hope you're feeling better.

G - love massages and have two gifts I got last xmas. Funny how nothing matters when we drink. I'll be using those soon.

Star, hope your day was better.

Good to see you here Addy.

[sothankful]

Day 1 enough said

[Guitarista]

Who knows what else the day will bring, but me and my unpredictable brain are up for it! Massage anyone?

Love your post Starfish. Re massage attire, I was asked to strip to my underwear, so I imagine with this sort of massage (Thai) you'd be asked to do the same. My massuesse was very respectful, but be prepared for a lot of buttock action! You can just go for a foot massage too. It was my 60 day gift to myself. Great job on staying the course my friend. Rawk star!

and for me, anything that involves my body and someone doing something to it is as nice as it gets :smile:.

Lawdy! :black:

Mozart is my horse.

You know Eloise, I'm sure it was Beethoven in his dying breath pointing to a stack of sheet music written by Mozart who said......"There is the truth"

Yep, I agree. Your art program can work anywhere.

As NS mentioned earlier, just reading the amazing posts here makes you realise you aren't alone. I am honoured to be among you all, but also feel lucky and grateful to have a place to go to read and share anything, and always get loving honest feedback.

62 and loving it.

Take it easy out there.

[Starfish1]

Haha...since starfish don't have buttockses, me reckons I'll just go with the feet massage...all five of 'em. I love you, Gman!

J-Vo, so glad you are back here with us. Stick close! We have all felt like you do, but we will help you thru the tough spots and you will feel better in no time.

Welcome back, sothankful!

I had a good day with no major life catastrophes. Whoever says we don't have two bad days in a row was right this time.

Where's Dutch?

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Welcome back j-vo!
Settle yourself in & stay put for a while. The decision to finally grow up is a tough one but you won't be sorry

Sothankful, day 1 is good, now on to day 2 & so on. Get your plan revised as needed & stay with us.

Eloise, if at all possible find yourself a female healthcare provider - honestly!
They listen better & have more empathy. Your hormone levels will indicate if you need hormone replacement therapy. It made a huge difference for me & may be helpful to you as well. Think of it as good self care.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Welcome back Sothankful and J-Vo. Grab on and lets move forward! Hugs! B

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Star and El: I was listening to the radio and Terry Gross was interviewing Sarah Silverman today. She was talking about her depression - she takes zoloft which helps her get out of bed in the morning, but she still has highs and lows. She was talking about owning the lows - playing sad music, crying - embracing how she felt, all with the understanding and knowledge that it would get better. I have very strong low moods, and I really try to understand that I know I am that way, and also understand that they will get better. My husband always wants to fix it, but it isn't always fixable right then. I don't love those moods, but I do try to keep in mind that they'll get better...

G - You should advertise for that massage place! I've had a few Thai massages - usually I have one of those outfits on that includes a shirt and pants, commando underneath. I've had those ladies kneel on me, pull, punch - all so, so, so good. Your description makes my muscles ache from desire. I think I know what I'll do for myself this weekend...

Welcome back, J-Vo and Sothankful. Hang on tight.

Pav