Newbies Nest

[Jennifire]

Is anyone out there???? Trying to go to local OP rehab, scared, need support

[Quit wining]

Hi Jenn,

Have you gone to Need Help ASAP in the main menu? There are suggestions if you need immediate help.

There are folks here in Newbies Nest who can listen and offer suggestions. Let us know how we can help.

[All done drinking]

Is anyone out there???? Trying to go to local OP rehab, scared, need support

Hi Jennifire,

This can be a tough time of day as the majority of folks probably post at the beginning and the end of the day, but we have folks from all countries here so you will get some responses for sure. Another member posted a new thread that they were scared and going to rehab so I am going to send you the link so you can see what people said to her as the same would apply to you. Go to: https://www.mywayout.org/community/ge...ml#post1637734

Hopefully, that will help you until more folks are able to get on board and give you more support. Good luck. We are here for you until then.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!)

[Starfish1]

Mr. V, I was in a similar situation a couple of weeks ago, meeting a bunch of buddies at a pub.

I KNEW there was someone else that just went through that. Great job, QW!!!

Jenn :hug: You are very strong and brave to work so hard to get help. I have not been to rehab myself, but I understand its a very good place to be able to recover in a safe haven (with medical support and supervision). I am sure you will learn lots of great techniques for moving forward in your new sober life. Keep in touch as you can. We would love to hear about your experience and lend more support when you return.

Addy. Great job on 99 days, kiddo!!! I guess I am a little surprised that you are expressing concern about the holidays already, (but it's never too early to start planning). My tip for being abstinent around obnoxious drunks is a good one, I think. Actually, it's much easier for me to stay abstinent when I have those clowns around to remind me of what the hell I looked and acted like when I was 3 sheets to the wind. It's a great visual deterrent. I don't wanna be that person anymore. I like the calm, cool, sophisticated Star much better. Just think about the way your BIL looks and acts when he's drunk. Sounds like you've seen him that way a lot. Is that the way you want to be? I think not. Be the person you have gotten used to being over the past 3 months (plus, you'll have more time under your belt by then!) YOU are All Done Drinking Yes!!! Remember?

[LilBit]

My tip for being abstinent around obnoxious drunks is a good one, I think. Actually, it's much easier for me to stay abstinent when I have those clowns around to remind me of what the hell I looked and acted like when I was 3 sheets to the wind. It's a great visual deterrent. I don't wanna be that person anymore. I like the calm, cool, sophisticated Star much better. Just think about the way your BIL looks and acts when he's drunk. Sounds like you've seen him that way a lot. Is that the way you want to be? I think not. Be the person you have gotten used to being over the past 3 months (plus, you'll have more time under your belt by then!) YOU are All Done Drinking Yes!!! Remember?

Well said, little Asteroidea! The last time I found myself stuck in a social situation with drinking everywhere, I played a little private mind game of just gazing around and trying to figure out who in the crowd had the AL problem. Maybe that's a little crazy on my part but statistically, 1-2 people out of 20 have "AL Use Disorder." The mental game of trying see which person fit the statistic focused my attention on the down side of AL rather than the glamorous, seemingly good side of it. And, as you said, having a visual example of the behavior we don't want to emulate is priceless.

BTW, I'm sorry for your pileup of troubles and hope they all dissipate soon. :heartbeat:

[NoSugar]

Hey, LostSoul!

Your PM box is full so I can't follow up on our conversation. NS

[Eloise]

I am feeling better today guys.
It is like bingo- anxiety level is down. Yesterday every little noise made me jump.
No idea what to do about this. A friend suggest trying natural progesterone rubbed on wrist starting before menses.
There is a female gp at the practice I go to, she does not work as often. I am alloted a 10 minute visit when I go. Pretty funny I find. He couldnt get me out of his office fast enough.

[Starfish1]

having a visual example of the behavior we don't want to emulate is priceless.

Sometimes, I picture meself as Otis, the town drunk of The Andy Griffith Show fame. Now that's a sobering visual! Love your game of figuring out the "AUDs" (that's asteroid speak for alcohol use disordered folk...of which I most definitely am!)

[Dutch1988]

Been reading through and wrote a post and went back somehow, oh well.

Addy congrats on your soon to be 100 days!

I have been having a tough week with the drinking. Luckily at 7 months it seems practically unthinkable, the number of conscious steps I would have to make to pour myself my DOC just ain't realistic. I have just felt depressed, and miss my pick me up. Haven't been doing my usual routines, been sleeping more because I don't want to be awake, all bad stuff from a recovery standpoint. Today I forced myself to go to workout, like literally imagining driving home while I am pulling up. Once I get going I don't really think about feeling bad, it's just getting started that's hard.

Can't believe I am still going through mood swings for no reason. It's been five months of this shit. I was optimistic for like 2 weeks of posts but I caved harder than my sugar free quits. I was watching Simpsons last night falling asleep and homer was talking about how you don't always get to do what you want in life, he didn't want a job/wife/family/kids, he wanted to prance around the forest like a pagan or something to that effect. Truer words have not been spoken, I think I just get too caught up in every moment mattering when it doesn't. i have been trying to remind myself how bad my drinking hot to try and keep myself focused on the end goal here, but it's hard. I never hid my drinking, I always drank the same amount. I don't recall blacking out, but who would? Haha

Deep down I know I was drinking too much though. I mean who worried about taking anti inflammatories because of their drinking? Or calculates how much vodka they need to get through the week with x number of otters of cranberry? Or pours a drink as soon as they get home from work. I am trying to convince myself the problem is real

[NoSugar]

. I am trying to convince myself the problem is real

Dutch, I don't think a person would look for, find, join, and post on MWO unless he or she had a problem. You may not have been "as bad" as some others but I suspect there are others, who admit they have a problem with alcohol, who did not drink as much as you. It is not really about quantity or frequency as much as by a loss of control. If you drank when you meant not to or drank more than you had definitely planned to drink, there's a problem. People without problems usually don't plan their drinking occasions or think about the exact number of drinks they will have. Or, if they do, they quite easily meet their goals. I think the problem is real but the good news is, you're working on solving it. Hang in there, NS

[Starfish1]

Well, hey there, Dutch! I've been looking for you! Great job on making it thru another tough week. I know its not easy, but Like NS said...you are working on solving this real problem we all have. I agree with everything NS said (and she said it so well). One thing I would like to add though....you said

"Luckily at 7 months it seems practically unthinkable, the number of conscious steps I would have to make to pour myself my DOC just ain't realistic."

I have relapsed at 7 months, Dutch and it wasn't as unthinkable or unrealistic as you may think. And I can't even remember how many months or years or day 1s I had after that, just trying to get straight again. I'm not trying to depress or scare you (well maybe scare you a little bit!), but, for me, it just takes letting my guard down slightly and I'm back at square one. And square one ain't no fun! We have worked too hard for what we have, Dutch. Protect your quit like it was gold, friend!

xoxo

[Byrdlady]

Dutch, I ran back and grabbed your first post from 2-23-15.

Okay here goes

I have been trying to quit drinking for years now, and not in the years sense like some on here. I started drinking in 2010, about when I turned 21. My father is an alcoholic, so is my older brother although he's recovering. It seems to just run in my family, that and having a strangely high tolerance. My friends don't really drink, just my immediate family when I hang out with them. I'm functioning, I take days off now and then, but I just feel like drinking has done nothing but have an overall negative effect on me. I can drink 7-8 measured drinks pretty easy, get a nice buzz, and wake up the next day feeling pretty much fine. I just know this is a recipe for disaster and will end with me not reaching my full potential in life. If I didn't make a conscious effort I would drink 5-8 drinks every day. I have a great wife, kid, good job, house, I don't want to end up addicted to alcohol. I could probably keep going like this for awhile, but I would rather start trying to change this aspect of myself. I know I use drinking for stress, I have take month long abstinence breaks before but any tips people on here have for stress would be great. I dig mindfulness meditation but that can be hard with a screaming toddler around. The thing that I read on here that I don't get is people say they just are so much happier without alcohol. I really haven't been when I take month long breaks. I don't miss it after a few weeks, but in a social situation with my family where everyone is drinking and having a good time I definitely miss it. The last time I took a month off last June, my tolerance seemed to change very little. I would like to take another month long break and if anyone has any tips for getting tolerance down, or how long to wait drinking to keep tolerance low, that would be great. But this is where I am at, I don't think I am an out and out alcoholic because i can miss drinking days, I don't get excited but it doesn't ruin my day as long as I am choosing not to drink. I would like to quit, but just enjoy the feeling alcohol gives me. I can always take a month off(like I am planning to start today) as long as I tell myself I can drink again on X day. Anyone's thoughts or advice are appreciated, thanks!

PS I am also taking kudzu, I take it regularly and double up the first few days off an abstinence period. But if there are other herbs out there good for the urge to drink let me know, thanks!

I highlighted the red flags. You know they say, if it quacks like a duck....the people that put together health rules and such say that a a moderate drinker might have no more than 2 units per day for a man and one unit per day for a woman. This would be considered normal drinking. 7-8 a day is well, 4 times that. If this was normal for you, then it would be a real stretch to say this was normal drinking in any way, would you agree? We also know that Alcoholism is progressive. If this was your life back in February, your drinking will do nothing but get worse if you pick it back up. Its just the way addiction works. Wouldnt you rather be the guy with 7 months behind him that the guy struggling to get a Day 1 behind him? In your heart of hearts you KNOW you have a serious problem with AL, as we all do. The goods news is, AL is a substance we can easily live without. By virtue of the fact you are still craving/wanting/needing it after all this time should tell you, 'this is not how normal drinkers think'. Going without Al for 7 months for them would he like my giving up carrots for 7 months.
I tell you, there is an easy way to do this and a hard way. I hope and pray you dont do like I did.....I kept going until I nearly lost it all. I would give anything if I had gotten sober at 28 instead of 51. I wasted a lot of life....YOU dont have to. Stick with this and you'll never be sorry. Nobody ever woke one one morning and said, DAM, I wish I had drank last last!
Take the option off the table. It will help tremendously. As long as an alkie gives himself the choice, guess what he will choose?! Give time TIME! We didnt get here overnight, it takes a while to dig out. Byrdie.

[All done drinking]

As long as an alkie gives himself the choice, guess what he will choose?! Give time TIME! We didnt get here .

Great quote Byrdie and I love how you are like the mother bird trying to guide the nestlings when they try to fly too soon. it helps to have a strong force going, "Whoa...wait a minute here."

NS said something too that many of us have said before and most of us know. Even though Dutch's amounts were very high by "normal" standards (IMO), it truly isn't even the amount, but the loss of control that happens. I considered 3 drinks a lot for me, but wanting a 4th after I was slightly slurring on that amount was not productive or smart thinking and was clearly loss of control on my part. "Allowing" myself two drinks? Salivating for Friday and Saturday night? Planning, counting, almost sweating if the waitress took too long for the first drink and especially the second. All LOSS OF CONTROL.

I appreciate Dutch's honesty with his battle because most of us really struggle at times and it takes a brave person to be honest. I do remember my 7 year quit many years ago and I don't recall struggling at all, esp. after years of my quit. It was so stupid how I even restarted. I wasn't thinking about drinking or missing it but (as many know as I've shared this before) the Aunt through marriage thought it would be nice if I had a glass of wine at family dinners and before you know it, I was down the spiral staircase going down, down, down. Hoping Dutch, that in those tough moments, you can reflect on the words of wisdom that many are imparting here. Treat your quit like gold as Star said. No-body wants to go back to day 1.

Will post more later regarding my lunch today with my old drinking friend. Interesting observations.

Addy~

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Love the talk about protecting our quits. I was thinking about this topic today (for no special reason). My thought this morning was - I am looking forward to the rest of my life, why mess it up now? Life is good, keep it going

Dutch, you seem IMHO to have a lot of troublesome thinking going on for a young guy. How about replacing the negative thinking with positive affirmations & mindfulness. Give yourself a break, you've come a long way. Be proud of your accomplishments so far, you have a lot of good things to look forward to in your future!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I had another drinking dream last night - it was an accident and I chugged a drink thinking it was plain sparkling water and it had vodka in it. It felt so great at first, and then I hated the feeling. I wanted to be back in control of my brain and my functioning, and I had to wait it out. I was also so bummed to have to come here and start on day 1 again. Thank goodness it was just a dream. I have had a crazy week, and I'm sure my brain was thinking - I know what would let me release VERY easily. Thankfully some other part of my brain reminded me of the consequences of that thinking.

Dutch - I am so glad when you post things like that here. I am very sorry that you're struggling, but I am happy that you're being honest with your struggles and letting us try to help you.

Star - my moods don't let go in 5 minutes either. Sometimes it can take a couple of days. Not fun, but I keep in mind that I know they'll end. Glad you're feeling better.

No ticket to boozeville here. I am going to watch TV with my kids and hit the hay early. So excited to wake up tomorrow feeling good and ready to face the day.

Happy Friday,
Pav