Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

It's been a super long day...work, then a niece's birthday party. I was asked if I wanted a glass of wine as everyone was having beer or wine, but it was 'no thank you.' That's it. I ate well, and it wasn't a problem, because the choice is off the table. Booze doesn't exist in my world.

Dutch, you've gone 7 months? That's awesome. But maybe the monkey on our back is necessary for us to remain vigilant in this process. Remember...surrender and acceptance is key. We are all alcoholics on one level or another, and the obsession with it will come and go. Ride it out. Ride out the depression. I know this time of the year is when my depression begins to affect me more. Just accept that you're down a bit, maybe more than normal, and know that better days are coming. And you forced yourself to work out and that's great! Stay strong.

[LavenderBlue]

You know, for most of my first year I had the image of my recovery like a swinging pendulum. At first my days were either HORRIBLE or AWESOME (pink cloud), but as time went by the swings weren't so wide. I'd have some ok days, then some rotten ones and sometimes it seemed like I was never going to find a balance. I think I really was headed that way the whole time though, and just couldn't see it. I wanted to be "better" NOW and couldn't enjoy the just-ok days since they weren't AWESOME, plus the rotten ones are easier to focus on than, "Yay, I feel...ok today."

I know that now I don't seem to have those swings as much though, and I think it helped me to continue viewing it as a very long healing process. Way longer than I'd like, but I'd been drinking much longer than I'd been quit!

[tibby]

I don't know if everyone has the same experiences in trying to get sober but I am having a difficult time. I seem get to a certain time of day and I just don't care. Drinking all of a sudden isn't a big deal and I start again.

I want to know how to get through those times.

[sothankful]

Here i am buzzed or drunk again .. Listening to music that make miss my mom and dad, by the way they are not dead..

[sothankful]

Such a messed family ..mother a narcissist .. She fucked me up real good

[sothankful]

Sorry

[sothankful]

Can't find mysel at 51 feel like I'm 10 I'm very

[sothankful]

Upset , sorry for the post

[starty]

Don't worry So, it is better to post than not. 52 here and full of mistakes and bad decisions. But also full of hope

[Eloise]

you know i had a drinking dream last night too Pav!
I woke up trying to figure out if I was hungover or not? I remembered having wine, but not how it ended? It was one of those... 'come on, what happened last night? think hard... how did it end??'
I was very glad to suddenly realise 'you don't drink, it was a dream.'
thank god.

[Eloise]

don't be sorry Sothankful... I am dealing with the same childhood crap now too. When I was told some 20 years ago - you are going to have to deal with it sooner or later, why not make it sooner versus later? they were right.


back feeling sorry for myself, well that little bit of light I saw yesterday did not last long.
i do not see the point in taking medication to feel better either. i may as well start drinking again.
was just thinking 'maybe i would be a bit more light hearted if I drank again!'
we all know where that little imaginary dream ends.
i might add you know who is home and interfering with my art progress thinking it is cute.
it is just always all about him and needing to talk. blah, blah, blah is it monday yet?

[frances]

Hi Tibby - part of it is that your mind and body is wired to drink. It's a mental and physical habit. I was there for years - so many days when I started the day saying I wouldn't drink, but then that time came and I said fuck it, what's one drink going to hurt? Of course it was never just one and that same thing happened over and over and over again.

A good strategy is to replace that time by doing something else. For me, it was replacing the drink itself with a different drink (since it was winter for me it was tea and then switched to seltzer in the warmer months) - I always made a drink when I got home from work - that was when I had my wine, and when I quit I switched it to the other drinks. Some people go out and exercise or find some other outside activity to do during the time of day when their drinking usually started. There is a wealth of great information on this site - There is a toolbox thread that is in the signature line of Byrdie's posts and you can probably just search for it in the search box. That gives a lot of tips too. And stay here in the newbies nest - you will get a ton of support and suggestions!

[LilBit]

Welcome, Tibby. 'Glad to see you, here. Pull up a twig. What's going on with you?

Sothankful, I hope you're OK. Treat yourself kindly today -- lots of water, some good food, maybe a little walk outside.

Hope everyone is well, especially those in rainy Texas (that includes you, Matt!)

Pav and Eloise, I had a drinking dream night before last, too. What's up with that? Is it the approaching full moon affecting our sleep? The dream was really vivid and I heard myself having all the relapse arguments that we engage in, here. As always, I was angry with myself when it was happening and then relieved when I awoke. 'Have had about 4-5 of these dreams in my 7 AF months. I just take them as a sign of healing, and my mind playing out scary scenarios in a safe place.

Wishing you all a good Saturday!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Saturday to all
I hope everyone has their sober weekend plan ready to go.

Hello & welcome Tibby & Starty!
Make yourselves comfort & stay put for a while.
Tibby, you need to make yourself a good working plan. Use the good ideas in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/mo...-tool-box.html to help you get started!
We like to start with a goal of 30 AF (alcohol free) days & then just keep going. Life is much better without AL, you'll see

Sothankful, I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday & decided to drink. Let's get yo feeling better & ready to restart :hug:
One thing I know for sure (from personal experience) is drinking AT someone never hurts them, only you.

Wishing everyone a great AF day. Get out & enjoy some nice weather if you are fortunate enough to have clear skies.

Lav

[j-vo]

LavBlue, that's a good reminder....this is a very long healing process. Taking it one day at a time is the only way. And life without drink for anyone has its ups and downs. It's a normal, natural part of life. A crappy day will be a good day the next.

Tibby, I can't add anything more than what advice was given and that is to visit the toolbox. So many great tips. Not all are for everyone, but everyone can find the right ones for them.

Sothankful, thoughts are with you. I know those very down feelings. You're not alone.

Drinking dreams...have them when I'm not drinking, and had them through my many stretches of not drinking. A good reminder of why we want to stay away from the evil juice.

Grateful for an unhungover morning. Have a busy day, and also grateful I'll be going through it feeling good.

Have a great day.