Newbies Nest

[Mr Vervill]

No time to post yesterday, called in to work before I could sit down.

Addy, 100 Days! so proud of you! G-man rawkin'64 (now65)!
Thanks for the advice on my upcoming situation, Jvo,Addy,qw,byrdie, and NS. I do plan on taking it head on, as NS says, I don't drink, and I'll get through it. I will be eating, lots, so that should help a lot. I don't want to think of this as a challenge, as Addy says, but in a way it is, but I have already been through this twice in the past two weeks. I can do this! I will do this.
Eloise, So sad to hear you're fighting the blues, I'm worried about you. Wish there was more I could do to help. Pet Mozart for me. I hope this passes soon.
Dutch, keep fighting my man, You seem to have the right attitude. As LavB says, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Keep posting Sothankful, let it out.
Welcome Tibby and Starty, keep posting.
Busy today as well, My friend arrives today.
L8r,
Mr V

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

Kind of damp out at the moment so I am just hanging out with the coffee pot for a while, ha ha! Glad we got lots of outdoor work done yesterday

Stick with your plan MrV & you'll be OK

Wishing everyone a good AF Sunday!

Lav

[j-vo]

Good morning,

I had a great night with good italian food at Bucca Di Peppa with family and friends. Usually when out to a nice restaurant, I never care about the food. The focus was always on the drink. A martini prior to, wine with dinner, and never dessert after. It was always more wine. Only one person drank out of 6. The girl I was sitting next to said she hasn't drunk in over 21 years. I didn't ask her the details, but everytime i hear something like that, it gives me hope. She's healthy, happy, full of life. Oh, dessert last night...cheesecake! Yum.

I had a drinking dream, and I almost always do. I was with a friend who chose to have pie and ice cream, and i had a martini. I felt alone.

El, I hope you can shake this. I know you will. These bouts of depression go away. I can't remember if I read you don't take meds for depression. I've been on lexapro for depression many years. I tried a few times to go off them, but I only plummeted and depression was unbearable. Just like alcoholism is a disease and something is not wired right in our brains, I believe depression is the same. There's no pill for alcoholism, but there is for depression. Maybe consider it if it doesn't get any better soon. When the depressants begin to work (takes 2-6 weeks) I feel great relief.

Lots of correcting today, laundry, and I'm glad I'm unhung to be able to be productive. Have a good day all.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
Lots to think about in the overnight posts.
As I look back on half a lifetime where AL was at the top of my agenda, I think about the term 'Getting Wasted'. If you spend every night getting wasted for 25 years, what have you got? Yep, a wasted 25 years! Quitting this cycle is hard, no two ways about it, but its better than the alternative....a wasted life! Ive lost friends and family to ALK'ism and its almost as if they are just dismissed or spoken about in hushed tones! "He had demons, poor thing" one lady wrote me regarding a co-worker when I asked what happened. I dont want to be remembered as a drunk! I want to be remembered as taking life by the b**** (sorry Dutch, I ache for you when I say that) and living it to my fullest potential! I dont want AL to even be a topic when I go!
Yes, this takes a while to overcome, but it can be done and IS being done by folks right here on this site! You CAN do this! We all CAN do this! The choice is ours to make!

Eloise, I am so sorry to hear that you are so blue. Maybe you have a legitimate reason to be down.....sometimes the problems really aren't us. Just spit-balling here....I hope you feel free to talk here, the folks in this nest provide the best therapy Ive ever had! Lots of different perspectives can sometimes make things clearer. Hope you feel better soon.

Matt, where are you? I knew firemen were made of asbestos but your getting The Shingles was above and beyond! Hope you are on the mend!

Hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday!

[All done drinking]

Only one person drank out of 6. The girl I was sitting next to said she hasn't drunk in over 21 years. I didn't ask her the details, but everytime i hear something like that, it gives me hope. She's healthy, happy, full of life.

Hi, J-Vo, I always find this so interesting. When we start to really take notice, we realize "everybody" doesn't drink like we thought they did. We all want to be in a bubble with our drinking thinking everybody does it because we don't want to stand alone as the only drinker. I always used flying when going on vacay as my excuse. Didn't matter if it was 10 am. Then that called for a bloody Mary. When I quit, I started to notice that hardly anyone around me ordered alcohol. Not even in the evening. So, not surprised to hear only 1 out of 6 drank. I have noticed that too that far less people drink than I thought.


I had a drinking dream, and I almost always do. I was with a friend who chose to have pie and ice cream, and i had a martini. I felt alone.

Your dream reminded me of something that happened to me once. I was walking out of a restaurant with a very overweight friend. We passed a table and there was a half filled glass of wine and a half eaten piece of pie. Almost simultaneously my friend and I said, "How could they leave and leave that (glass of wine/piece of pie). The interesting thing in life (as some of us beat ourselves up for our addiction to al) almost everyone has some type of addiction or battle. Yes, people do get addicted to food. The Facebook posts about food are all from my overweight friends, the drinking jokes are not from friends who are normal drinkers, that's for sure. Their addictions even spill out on the facebook pages but if you challenged them if they had a problem, they would tell you no. Speaking of that, had lunch with my good friend who hasn't taken the time to get together for over 3 months (since I quit drinking). I waited for her to ask me about my recovery but she didn't seem to want to approach the subject. Finally something came up where it crept into the conversation and she said, "Yes, I only have 1 glass of wine now when I go out". It was such a blatant lie to me and to herself because she is the girl who drinks a bottle a night, maybe more. But she holds her job, functions well, and somehow doesn't pack on a ton of weight with all of those needless calories. I just thought the denial was interesting. The other big drinker in my life is my BIL. Hubby was talking to him yesterday and BIL was saying how the state we live in is so drying on a person's skin. My hubby stated that alcohol really dries people out and causes havoc on their skin and stated he's only had about 3 drinks in the last 3 months. BIL stated "Oh, I don't drink that much either". I have to say I had to laugh when I heard that. The two biggest problem drinkers I know are in absolute denial. But what I am learning is that their recovery is not my responsibility and I need to let that judgment go or I will make myself crazy. I just have to keep working on me and grateful I have all of my MWO friends here for support.

Addy~

Have a good day my friend and everyone else!

[abcowboy]

El, I’m sorry to hear you’re a bit down in the dumps. I think it’s okay to feel that way from time to time to make us appreciate all the good things we have. But your posts for the past while have me, and others, concerned for you :hug: I’m not sure if this is true in your case, but the saying “relapse occurs long before the first drink is taken” comes to mind. A couple of the longtermers in my old AA home group told the group that they felt the toughest time they had was between year one and two in sobriety. When they started questioning if sobriety was worth it, was this all there was to living a sober life? And we can be told all the things we’ve heard in our first year, play the tape to the end, be grateful, make out lists, etc. etc. But in the end all we have to think about is that we are better people without alcohol in our lives, and the problems that we face day to day can be managed so much easier without the booze making decisions for us.

I enjoy reading your posts when you talk about Mozart, I developed close relationships with some of our horses when we had them, and now I have Hank. Best friends don’t have to walk on two legs, they can fly, they can swim, they can walk on four legs. I get a lot of comfort and peace when I talk to Hank, and he talks back to me. Many times when I’m at home playing with him I’ll scratch his head and behind his ears and tell him about my troubles for the day. The way he tips his head, the shining in his eyes, his one ear cocked up, is his way of talking back to me. Telling me it’s okay, life is good. You’re here, you’re safe, and I like you way more now that you don’t drink. Use Mozart as a best friend, you two were brought together for a reason. Spend more time with him, talk to him, share your problems and troubles with him, don’t be surprised if he talks back to you with a nuzzle from his soft nose, or just a gentle laying of his head on your shoulder. Our pets know when we are feeling bad, let them help you. They can and they will. The relationship we have with our pets is one of the truest forms of love we can experience, nothing more is expected of us other than respect and kindness towards each other. How simple that is, we could all learn how much we have to be grateful for by just listening to our pets.

Hang in there El, you’ve given so much to everyone here, it’s not selfish to think you deserve some of that back. No matter where you are or what you do, you always have family at MWO!

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi All,

Today scary thought come to me. What if I cant have a well shaped knee and I go along limping for rest of my life ! While my doc says that in my case not surgery is needed and knee will get well on its own. but what if ... ? I wasa bit scared this morning to see swealing on my feel and lower leg.

Googling does not help as I see scary reports of recovery from knee and bad accidents

Sorry, I know this not the correct forum but I sometimes feel why me ? I finally was able was able to overcome my addiction and was getting into shape with a good life style and here I am back on bed.

I just prey and hope I get back into SAME level of knee.

worried

[All done drinking]

Hi All,

Today scary thought come to me. What if I cant have a well shaped knee and I go along limping for rest of my life ! While my doc says that in my case not surgery is needed and knee will get well on its own. but what if ... ? I wasa bit scared this morning to see swealing on my feel and lower leg.

Googling does not help as I see scary reports of recovery from knee and bad accidents

Sorry, I know this not the correct forum but I sometimes feel why me ? I finally was able was able to overcome my addiction and was getting into shape with a good life style and here I am back on bed.

I just prey and hope I get back into SAME level of knee.

worried

Rahul,

There is a famous musician well known here in the U.S. who required hospitalization for a sports injury. While stuck in bed he learned to play the guitar. Maybe he never would have learned to do that if he hadn't had a setback that made him bedbound for a while. His name is Julio Iglesias, google him. It's an interesting story.

I always use him as an example to my patients when they are discouraged from mishaps. His story is an example of "when God closes a door he opens a window." I am a believer in that, that all things happen for our higher good, for the lessons we are here to learn. Maybe this setback where you aren't as active will give you more time to contemplate on your alcohol recovery, perhaps help someone else in some way? I do have access to advice from good ortho people. PM me your medical details and I will try to put your mind at rest. Try not to worry. Just look at it as a chance now to have more time for other things that you may need right now but haven't taken the time to reflect on.

Addy~

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I ended up entertaining my grandsons ALL afternoon, feeding them dinner, breaking up the fights, etc. so I'm tired, LOL
Another reason to be grateful for just about everything

Rahul, please try not to worry about future events regarding your knee. We can worry ourselves to death over things that may never happen. When you are out of your cast & can start physical therapy you'll have a better idea of what to expect.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Addy, I'm not sure there is a set plan for our lives but I do believe that even if much of life is random, sometimes the times, places, and people align in the right way for good things to happen. Kuya was a regular poster here when I first joined and I really needed her tough, no-nonsense, get-over-yourself approach to getting past an addiction. I'm sorry she left but am grateful she was here when I needed her. You're here now, showing all of us how someone who wanted to moderate so badly that you tried for several years, can be happy and fulfilled after 100 days AF - I think you're exactly the person some others need to see and emulate.

Its funny you mentioned Julio. I didn't know that about him - what an inspiring story! I was playing his YouTube video earlier today singing La Mer, the theme from Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. That was the first movie I saw post-quitting. It is a very complicated story and I clearly remember leaving the theater that evening so amazed and proud that I had understood the whole thing. I didn't have to give vague answers to my husband as we discussed the movie driving home or try to figure out a way to see it again during the day so I could talk about it like a person who had actually watched it. I really like the theme song anyway but it is extra special because of what it represents.

Have a good week, Nesters - NS

[Pavati]

Hooray, Addy. What a great accomplishment. I truly appreciate your thoughtful presence around here. Keep it up!

Ava - good to hear from you as always. That's how I felt - I REALLY didn't want to quit drinking. I really had absolutely NO idea the other ways in which alcohol was affecting my life other than the GSR brothers that I occasionally woke up with. So much else in my life is better - most of all my peace of mind and comfort with myself. It has been a long, slow trip, but well worth the effort.

NoSugar - you were that person for me!

Happy new week, all.

Pav

[LavenderBlue]

Checking in while I have a little time. Welcome to new folks, by the way, and sorry I'm not responding much - just picked up a second job, something I definitely wouldn't have been able to handle while I was drinking!

I'm starting to enjoy it, to my surprise. I work with some great people in both places, and I pick up things so much faster with a clear head. What time I do have off, I'm able to really enjoy both being sober and knowing that I'm doing things that will improve my life and future outlook. The motivation I have is something I'd lost to AL, and i'm very thankful to have it back.

Keep at this, one day at a time, and things really will get better. My life isn't perfect (taking a second job to start paying back debt isn't exactly ideal) but *I* feel better than I ever did while drinking.

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters,

Cloudy & a bit chilly here in my portion of the nest. Guess I'll have to make my own sunshine

LavB, you sound great! What a difference, huh?

I'll share a quote I ran across this morning:

Here is your thought for the day:

The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.
- Zig Ziglar

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF & grateful day!

Lav

[Mr Vervill]

Yesterday was just a little bizarre for me. Day one with my friend in town, or I should say out of town, and sober.
Due to a crazy set of circumstances, that I don't need to get into, I ended up picking my friend up in the state of Kentucky, where he insisted on visiting a bourbon distillery near his hotel. He really wanted to go, saying he's wanted to do a tour for years. My wife and I tagged along. Needless to say, I was caught off guard, but went along. (No I really didn't have to go, and really did not feel badgered to go). At the end of the tour of course comes a tasting. I did not partake, giving my portions to both my wife and friend. The only comment he made was, boy, you really are being good. But, I knew that taste could trigger a craving for more.
What's freaking me out a little bit, is that I really didn't want to drink, nor did I have any type of craving for a drink. And that surprised me, maybe it's because I've taken it off the table. It was not hard at all. I just hope I'm not setting my self up for future failure. I was even able to enjoy the smell of the rickhouse full of aging bourbon barrels, without a trigger. I really do like the smell, musty organic, funky. I also like the smell of a tobacco barn, full of curing tobacco, even though I don't smoke, and a well maintained horse barn. (OK, I'm weird).
We're off to lunch to meet friends. I really don't think I'll have a problem, but I am not letting my guard down.

Addy, I too was in denial for a long time, I really didn't lie to friends about how much I drank, but always in the I'm not as bad as that guy mode. I also never came clean to my doctor either, which is really stupid, because he can't really help you if he doesn't have all the facts.

Rahul, stop seeing Dr Google, he is a quack. Swelling is normal. After I had knee surgery, my leg was so swollen, almost twice it's notmal size, and turn black and blue all over, I was freaking out a little, too. The doc took one look, and said with a shrug, yeah, that's pretty normal.
Have a good day everyone! -V

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Mr. V, you are so right about Dr Google. He can turn a hang nail into cancer in less than 2 seconds! If it's cancer, it can be a lesion that flat or raised, red or white, crusty or smooth. Well that just about covers EVERY lesion I've ever had! I am happy to say that my Dr now has a patient portal where I can email questions to him and get a response I trust.

I try to prioritize worry....(and I worry about everything...in fact if you have a worry that needs some attention, I can take it for a while) My prioritizing that helps me...I worry about the BIG things first and the small ones usually work themselves out. Worry is going to be a fact of life, it looks like. In the end, we all do the best we can with what we have. That's all we can do!

So proud of the success we are having on our site! On Roll Call, you just wouldn't believe the big numbers over there! It's done one day at a time.

Addy, I have to chuckle at NS's post...you really were an AVID moderator and were a real thorn in my side! In fact, I got reprimanded for posting over on the mods boards....apparently, we actually had forum moderators back then! I am so happy that you are finding freedom and peace on this side of MWO!!! GREAT JOB!

Hope everyone has an easy day! Don't let your guard down for a second....if you give AL an inch, he wants to be the ruler! Byrdie