Newbies Nest

[LilBit]

Morning, Everyone and hullo to the new faces! Interesting times, here...my cat, Crazy Ivan, bit into a glow stick last night. He's fine today, but after chasing him down and wiping his mouth out (not easy!) now that he's OK, I must admit that for the 15 seconds before we managed to catch him, it was a really cool visual effect. The house was dark, lit only with Halloween candles, and here was this ethereal glowing-mouthed creature darting all over the place like a snarling little demon panther.

Here in San Fran, Halloween is a big adult celebration, seemingly more for the "grown ups" than the kids. I use that term loosely because it seems to be an excuse for the women to dress like tarts and everyone to act up and drink way too much. 'So happy to exclude myself from all that and wake up feeling great today. For some reason, in my drinking days, any holiday was a reason and an impetus to drink even more than usual. I'm looking forward to actually experiencing some holidays now, all the way through without passing out -- yes, even if they involve glowing-mouthed demon house panthers!

[planetjanet]

Thanks for the reply and support, it really means alot. I am very confident that I can achieve 30 days AF. I achieved ONE year in 2012, however I need to keep reminding myself that after one year, two years, three years, I can no longer convince that after all that time I can have a drink. NO! It's been proven that I can't and if I continue to drink I will not be able to have the life I want so bad. I start once again a great job tomorrow and I am so determine to not mess this one up, it's just not worth it anymore. I am getting older and this crap has to stop now!

Thanks again and I look forward to hearing your progress.



Hugs,
Janet
Day 5

[Byrdlady]

Good morning all! Happy November!
It is wonderful to see the nest so active!
The very cool part about MWO is that if you are open to change and willing to listen, great things can happen. ALL of the research has been done FOR you. If you knew that continuing on the same path would result in 99.9% failure, you'd change direction, right? Thats what MWO does. It gives you the tools and support needed to make this happen once and for all! Welcome aboard everyone, we are SO glad you're here!

Starty, around here, we give prizes for 7 days! A 2-Cheeked Salute! :butt: Here is your full moon! 7 days AF! The worst is BEHIND you! You'll get no cracks from us on navigating your way thru that week! Well done!!!! Byrdie

[starty]

Woohoo! I won a prize Thanks Nesters. I will treasure my moon

[starty]

Oh and today was the best day I have had for ages. Coffee with a friend, shopping, bought some boots and still have energy to do a bit of housework !!

[Matt M.]

Happy November 1st all
So great to see so many new people and returning people. Hearing and reading stories from new people or ones that may have relapsed is a grim reminder that we can not drink ever again, not any never ever!
Being of service to these new members only strengthens my quit and helps the newbies as well.
Going to enjoy my one day off then back at it next week for more double shifts..
Stay Hard my friends!

[ssd858]

Kensho - I read your post yesterday and it made me cry. I feel as if you are describing my life.

Yesterday was my Day 1. The first day al-free in about 2 years. I am in for 30 days (and forever I hope) al-free. When I told my husband about this he said that he thought our upcoming vacation for the holidays should be an exception.

[Matt M.]

Morning, Everyone and hullo to the new faces! Interesting times, here...my cat, Crazy Ivan, bit into a glow stick last night. He's fine today, but after chasing him down and wiping his mouth out (not easy!) now that he's OK, I must admit that for the 15 seconds before we managed to catch him, it was a really cool visual effect. The house was dark, lit only with Halloween candles, and here was this ethereal glowing-mouthed creature darting all over the place like a snarling little demon panther.

Here in San Fran, Halloween is a big adult celebration, seemingly more for the "grown ups" than the kids. I use that term loosely because it seems to be an excuse for the women to dress like tarts and everyone to act up and drink way too much. 'So happy to exclude myself from all that and wake up feeling great today. For some reason, in my drinking days, any holiday was a reason and an impetus to drink even more than usual. I'm looking forward to actually experiencing some holidays now, all the way through without passing out -- yes, even if they involve glowing-mouthed demon house panthers!

What exactly does a woman dressed like a "tart" look like?
That must be a west coast term

[NoSugar]

When I told my husband about this he said that he thought our upcoming vacation for the holidays should be an exception.

Hi, SSD. It would be nice if we could have exceptions but if you're addicted, it just doesn't work that way. I also can't (safely) eat gluten or sugar. Despite my name, I occasionally make special exceptions for sugar :wink: but NEVER for gluten or alcohol - the consequences just aren't worth it. I hope you can get your husband on your team but realize that the concept of not being able to stop is totally foreign to someone who's not had the experience. I'm glad you're here and posting - you really can get free by engaging here. All the best, NS

[idefineme]

idefineme, reporting for day one AF! Feeling hopeful and thankful for the support here! I'm gonna do this! :congratulatory:

[Quit wining]

ssd858- I read your comment about holidays being an exception. They aren't. At least they weren't for me. Last January after 28 days alcohol free, we went to Dominican Republic on holiday. No sooner were we seated on the plane than the flight attendant brought complimentary champagne. "Why thank you" I said.
Guess what? That lead to a few drinks every day at the resort plus it kept up when I got home, right until my quit August 23, 2015.
Please be cautious. The beast is a tricky b**tard and he'll try to tell you that one drink can't hurt. But, as alcoholics, we know better.
There are lots of options available when on holiday - soft drinks, sparkling water and one of my favourite drinks, a non-alcoholic piña colada.
Stay strong ssd! Hopefully your husband supports you in your quit.

[KENSHO]

Hi Janet, Starty, ssd and Everyone! I love seeing such new and determined people here. On day 3 here - I would love to be a part of the 30 day challenge - and beyond. I understand that what wasn't working for me was that I was trying to stop drinking but resisted changing anything else. Now that I view this journey as having to be open to the ways that life will change, I feel better. I surrender to what will happen when I stop drinking - and I will work through what is uncomfortable (even if it means just breathing though it).

What I see with people who are long term AF is that they have adapted to a life without alcohol and are thriving with more passion, genuine emotion, balance, wisdom and self-assurance. Thanks again TJAF for your words on growth - it has made a difference for me.

[All done drinking]

ssd858- I read your comment about holidays being an exception. They aren't. At least they weren't for me. Last January after 28 days alcohol free, we went to Dominican Republic on holiday. No sooner were we seated on the plane than the flight attendant brought complimentary champagne. "Why thank you" I said.
Guess what? That lead to a few drinks every day at the resort plus it kept up when I got home, right until my quit August 23, 2015.
Please be cautious. The beast is a tricky b**tard and he'll try to tell you that one drink can't hurt. But, as alcoholics, we know better.
There are lots of options available when on holiday - soft drinks, sparkling water and one of my favourite drinks, a non-alcoholic piña colada.
Stay strong ssd! Hopefully your husband supports you in your quit.

Wanted to share this post from the quit thread as many newbies struggling with the thought of quitting want to still believe they can drink occasionally as ssd's hubby stated. Thinking about not drinking on vacation was very hard for me but after researching (J-vo's research twin) a lot, I finally understood why even an occasional drink is detrimental. Hope this post helps.

Why I won’t drink “even occasionally”

Most of us know the deal. We quit drinking for a period of time. Months, years for some. And then slowly but surely, this little voice starts creeping into our heads going, “Oh come on…just one.” You’ve been so good not drinking for “8 months”… , 7 years, etc.” It’s a big event coming up (son’s wedding, big class reunion, major anniversary). You can probably just have one at this point and be ok. You can probably drink “occasionally” as you’ve done so well these past months/years.

I believed that little voice once. After 7 years of sobriety, I allowed myself the thought that I could drink like a normal person. Just have one glass of wine at a family dinner or 1 glass of champagne at a wedding. Here’s what I’ve learned why I cannot.

According to learning theory principles (Pavlov’s dogs as an example) any learned behavior usually increases in frequency if it’s rewarded (treat when the bell is rung) and decreases in frequency if it is punished or not positively reinforced (no treat when bell is rung and gradually the dog’s would quit salivating when they heard the bell).

Simply put, dogs and people stop performing any given behavior when there is no longer any incentive to continue. This extinction however, will not take place when the given behavior is reinforced “on occasion” or on an irregular basis. This irregular basis (known as aperiodic reinforcement) actually strengthens the original behavior and makes extinction of the craving almost impossible. If we “slip” after a period of abstinence and then experience the desired effects of alcohol that are positive (the buzz, liking the taste, etc.) the compulsion to drink is likely to remain as strong as ever. Since one would never know when they would give in to their urges (which occasion would be an allowable time to drink?) the urge to drink will continue to plague the person as long as the possibility of an occasional drink would continue to exist.

For the extinction of craving to occur, we must always find a way to say no to alcohol, to avoid consuming it even on an “occasional” basis and this will weaken the hold alcohol has on us. With the ongoing avoidance of alcohol, the desire for it will weaken and the result will be its eventual extinction. If the urge to drink is NEVER satisfied, then it will have no longer have power over us anymore.

I am working hard to have alcohol loosen it’s hold on me. I am not going to give in to even the “occasional” thought of a drink. If I did that, I know I would start to battle with what warranted an occasion to drink and as I said on another post, “Hell, I’d be making up occasions!”

My name is Addy and I am simply All Done Drinking…Yes! Even done with the thought of an occasional one.

~Addy

[ssd858]

welcome newbies and Janet your story just reiterates why i can never have one drink and i have to be vigilant with my sobriety. Thank you.
Define and SSD i did the 30 days when i started, promised i would on mwo and I did. It wasnt easy but anything good in life isnt easy to get. I had not done 2 days straight so 30 was a challenge in itself. After the 30 of course i thought i had achieved "non drinking" status and thought long and hard on maybe having one as i did 30 days but i kept going, what did i have to lose. A lot actually but today i am proud to say i am one month off two years sober and those first 30 days got me to freedom. You can all do this and you all need to realise that being an alcoholic is a lifelong journey to sobriety with lots of ups and downs. Its a journey to freedom and finding out who you really are. I have no regrets even though some days i just so wanted to drown myself in al, i came on here and posted and reached out. This has been one of the hardest challenges of my life, raising 4 children was a piece of cake compared to stopping drinking but now i have my life back. I have what al took from me, a life.

We are here for you, post away and you all can do this.

Nearly 2 years - that is amazing! Yes, for me it has been over 2 years since I have even had 1 day wo al. I am committed and posting my commitment yesterday really helped my resolve. And reading the posts here and Alan Carr's book. I think I am going to make it. I do not expect it to be easy. Thank you for being here!

[ssd858]

Hi, SSD. It would be nice if we could have exceptions but if you're addicted, it just doesn't work that way. I also can't (safely) eat gluten or sugar. Despite my name, I occasionally make special exceptions for sugar :wink: but NEVER for gluten or alcohol - the consequences just aren't worth it. I hope you can get your husband on your team but realize that the concept of not being able to stop is totally foreign to someone who's not had the experience. I'm glad you're here and posting - you really can get free by engaging here. All the best, NS

I do intend to make to the 30 day mark - even if we are in the Virgin Islands
I know that once I start I just don't seem to have the normal response and continue to drink.
No matter my intentions. During the summer I found this site and lurked for a bit. I did manage
to cut back quite a bit and was feeling better so I didn't go through with the quit. It didn't last long. I am just tired of waking up feeling so awful. I used to be a morning person but no more. Lately I need an hour drinking coffee just to get moving.

My husband did say that he might join me or at least cut back. But then came the comment about our vacation. Last night was surprisingly easy. I was fine while he had his beer and then scotch. I was content with my cranberry and lemon juice.

And while I didn't sleep much I feel better today than I have in quite awhile.

Day 2 is good. Just the beginning for me.