Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Sorry about your loss Karen. Glad you checked in & we all wish you & your family peace. Take care of yourself :hug:

Wishing a safe & cozy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[All done drinking]

Been struggling with AL. Only 3 day AF, still hectic at work but going to babysit grandkids on Thursday for 10 days so no drinking, too busy driving around to hockey games. Never risk it with the kids. (Maybe I should move in there). Oh well whatever helps. Only thing I am worried about is that my Dad passed away early this morning but I have not had a drink. He was 90 and me and all the family agree that I hope I can keep it that way.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. The loss of a parent (no matter what age) is one of the most painful things there is. I hope you can find the strength here to not let picking up a drink in your sorrow be your comfort.

~Addy

[TJAF]

Karen sorry for your loss.

[kherriot]

Thank you all for your condolences. Yes he had been ill for some time and did not have a very good quality of life. Of course when it happens it does hurt but in the long run he is in a good place. I am strong so far.

[TJAF]

I'm at work and can't stay long, but I HAVE to respond. I TRULY (really, really, really, really, really) appreciate what everybody is saying and intentions are acknowledged. None of you know me, so you can't know that it's not my intention to inbibe at this point, so all is well on this front (knock on wood). And, mostly, you can't know that I am NOT rebelling, so please don't consider my voicing my opinion as a type of rebellion. I beg you, don't assume that! I'm just expressing myself. I CERTAINLY don't think I'm better than anybody else, in fact I have the opposite problem. And I DON'T think anybody is being over-enthusiastic. I just don't want to be misunderstood here. At this point, it seems I haven't really communicated myself so well. Gotta go. Each of you and your intentions are appreciated. It's just, you're kinda doing exactly what I asked you not to do. I know you care, that is evident! Have a good one!

Indefineme I for one hope I didn't come across as preaching. I would also never presume to know what the intentions are of folks I really don't know personally. All I can do is share my own experiences in the hope that what I have painfully learned can somehow help someone else avoid my many failures.

Most of us who have some AF time under our belts do have something to share that is special. When you look at the cold hard facts, it is all too rare to find folks who beat the odds. Alcoholism is is a brutal chronic and debilitating disease that claims far more souls than it gives up on in defeat. The science behind how and why we ended up as alcoholics is well established and all the hyperbole and emotion wasted trying to ignore those facts is just denial in its base form. That is my belief.

I wish you well. I really do. I celebrate your successes and will be here if you need a lending hand. Find your own path, there is room for success in any form. Just win!

[idefineme]

TJAF, and everybody else who responded to my earlier post: I do not mean in any way, shape or form to indicate that what everybody has shared here is not special, because I KNOW it is, and I KNOW it's all valuable! I really hope that's not the message I delivered! PLEASE accept my most sincere apologies if that's the message you heard. I have nothing but the utmost respect for everybody here!

I'm not going anywhere at the moment, and I hope that's okay. I intend to stick around at least for the 30 days that I'm currently shooting for.

And, this might be a bit tacky, but Addy it appears as though your inbox is full, so I currently can't send you a pm.:newhere:

sorry if I'm being a thread hog. End of day 3. Good night. :love:

[All done drinking]

idefineme,
Thanks. Realized it was full when it wouldn't send my message today to you. Cleared the pm. Try again and congrats on day 3! :-)
~Addy

[planetjanet]

Hello Everyone,

Wow, there so many wonderful posts, since I last posted last Sunday ( I think). As I mentioned in my previous post I started a new job and it's going GREAT! However, it limits me time at night to write or read posts because it's home, walk the doggie, eat, get ready for bed and ZZZZZZ.

Congrats on your AF days and I look forward to catching up on reading the previous posts and get back on hopefully by Thursday, if not, Friday night for sure.


Anywho, time for bed for me....... Have a great AF day/night.


Hugs,
Janet
Day 7

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

I was a stubborn one. As a matter of fact, I read here without joining because I was curious, but I didn't dare post because I WAS different, and I knew people here would try to convince me otherwise. Even when I finally posted, my only intention was to go 90 days - for some reason that seemed magical as my 30 day stints hadn't worked. That lasted all of about a week, and within three weeks I was back, waving the white flag.

Also, I really and truly thought that I was different from everyone else. I thought, "I'm not as bad as all that..." Listening to the Bubble Hour has been incredibly helpful to me for helping me understand the science of addiction, what those abstinence platitudes really mean, and understand that I'm actually not all that different. Yes, we all type it here, and that has worked as well, but those podcasts helped me hear in a different way. Based on the current conversation, I would recommend the episode Understanding the High Functioning Alcoholic. Again, just another resource. NoSugar talked about the Bubble Hour for a LONG TIME before I finally listened. I'll keep offering...

Just for today didn't work for me. I had to say just for today AND I'll never drink again. I absolutely had to tell myself that this was forever because I know myself and I knew that was what I would need to put the hard yards in to find a way to make that true. I absolutely was crushed - sad, angry, ashamed - that it was so, but I did have to accept that for myself in order to make it work. But I also knew that I couldn't focus on the vacation that was 8 months out, or the 40th birthday party I was going to attend - I had to just focus on that particular day. So for me what worked was the approach of yes, and.

We find our own ways, and we share what we think and what worked for us. Being able to read others's stories and say, "me, too," has made all of the difference to me. I'm not all that different after all.

Night, folks.

Pav

[available]

Evening nesters,

Lots of great posts as per usual. God the thought of listening to people on here and them ramble on was way too much for my al muddled brain to take in. FFS nobody knew my story, nobody "got me", nobody was me and nobody understood. Oh how wrong was i, the oldies had all "been there, done that" and were sober. Me, well i was still rebelling, still going around in circles, still thinking i was different, still thinking i didnt need to give up forever, i just needed to get a handle on my drinking, then i would be fine and dandy and have the best of both worlds. Well those thoughts achieved an epic fail. I gave up and decided to go for 4 months, till my 50th and prove i could then drink. I did it, made it through my first holiday, xmas, new year, boxing day but i was still going to drink on my 50th BUT i didnt. I didnt want what i was living before, i finally realised i was an alcoholic, just like my brother, it was me and a part of me. I now know its forever, i get cranky about that but there is nothing i can do about it but drink and i wont do that.

I have my nieces wedding in two weeks and i am pissed off already. The first big family event since i stopped drinking. I really do know they will be supportive but i am sure i will come into contact with some idiot that will tell me that after nearly 2 years i can have one to celebrate. I dont want one, i dont want any and i wont. These situations get my anxiety levels up 110%, i am over thinking but over thinking will protect me. I have told my children how i feel and they will be my protection and support. Everything is in place. I dont feel the need to drink, i dont want to drink but i do want to protect my quit completely and utterly. To me, my quit and sobriety is the most precious gift i have given myself and my family.

Karen i am sorry about the loss of your dad, good on you for not drinking, it wont take the sadness away.

Janet congratulations on 7 glorious days af, keep up the great work.

[LavenderBlue]

Hey guys! I realized I let myself get too busy to check in here so I thought I'd better fix that quick. It's the two jobs plus getting ready for a charity event this weekend, but I've got to remember I can check in even if I don't have time to respond to much. I will at least say hi and wave to the new and returning folks, though! You've found a great place. There's a reason I (try to) stick pretty close even now!

Will try to post something more later, but at least know I'm here!

[LavenderBlue]

Also, quickly on the topic of stubborness - there's a reason my signature line is what it is! I can be hugely stubborn...but when I changed what I was being stubborn ABOUT (to not drinking) it became an asset instead of something that got in my way.

[Lavande]

Good Wednesday morning Nesters, happy Hump day

Sunny & nice here in my portion of the nest!

Congrats on your 7 AF days Janet!
IDM, great on your 3 AF days, glad to have you here with us!

Let's all keep moving forward together, there's strength in numbers
Have a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

PlanetJanet,
7 Days earns a 2 Cheeked Salute from your nest mates.....ready, gang?
:butt:

The Full Moon! You've conquered every day a week can throw at you! You'll get no cracks from us on those first 7, they are the worst and now they're BEHIND you! GREAT JOB!!!

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[LilBit]

'Quick fly-by for me. I started a new project last week -- one that requires me to work on the client's site for the first time in about 10-15 years so it's rather an adjustment. As luck would have it, my other client suddenly gave me a deluge of assignments, so I'm working 60-80 hour weeks for a while. There are a lot of ways to look at this situation, but the way that I choose is gratitude: grateful that I'm not drinking because I never could have handled this load back then, grateful that I don't have to hide any smells or hairpspray sipping bottles in the office, grateful for the new opportunities and new friends, and very grateful for the chance to make some much-needed extra income. The new project only lasts 90 days, so I may be posting more briefly during that time but I'll still check in and read daily.

Karen, thinking of you with much love!

So proud of the newbs!