Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Addy,
What you described never ended up to be good for me. The escape to a familiar place (we had those) always turned into a drunk fest for me. I remember the pleasant buzz, then chasing the rest of the night. So what I deluded myself into believing was that these were harmless escapes when in reality, they squashed. As I analyze my past quits, I viewed deprivation as not being able to have Al and participate in what I thought was fun, when in fact, every single time I drank ended up in a drunk, or an embarrassment, or ER. I cringe just typing this. I'm going to redefine deprivation for myself:

Deprivation: a loss of life, health, and personality due to alcohol consumption.

[All done drinking]

Thanks Byrdie and J-Vo. I needed that today.

~Addy

[lifechange]

Hello again all Nesters..
that's a great definition of deprivation, J-vo!
I've been depriving myself for such a long time.. and I could just die of boredom with my same old story right now..by letting the cycle continue on and on and on and on. By falling into the trap, by not being completely honest with myself.
Addy, you wrote a post yesterday that helped me to gather the strength and lose some of the embarrassment that enabled me to sign on here again. Sometimes I feel so stupid.. like I'm literally banging my head against a wall.. so many people seem to be GETTING it..and here I am. But I do believe what you said.. that we all have our own histories, ways of learning, difficulties to work through. And I believe I have what it takes to get it, too. I just can't give up. I have to learn from mistakes made, listen to and believe people who have walked the walk, especially when I'm feeling weak or questioning myself.
I feel relieved to be back on track, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This weekend hasn't been easy but I feel stronger than I have the past couple of months.. I can't live with the dishonesty any more. I can't live with running away from myself.
Byrdie, I started an online spanish course to brush up and catch up on what I used to know.. I'm always thinking about the things I've wanted to do forever, but couldn't because of drinking.. thanks for that reminder!

[All done drinking]

lifechange,

I've been wanting to learn Spanish too, so I'm going to let your statement motivate me! Maybe we'll p.m. in Spanish one day.
~Addy

[Quit wining]

I'd love to learn more Spanish, besides dos pina coladas por favor! Or dos cervezas por favor! Regardless of the number of drinks, they were all for me anyway.

I'm going to have to learn new phrases before we go to Mexico in January!

[KENSHO]

Hi Lifechange! Gracias por su palabras.

Happy Sunday Nesters!

Reading on deprivation, I realize I was operating through this mindset and it wasn't working. Last night we went to this wedding, and hung out with my husbands co-workers. They are a very social bunch - and drink a lot. I have always felt uncomfortable trying to keep up with their extroverted styles. But last night, I had a total blast. I didn't white-knuckle it though the night wishing I could participate in the drinkfest, instead I viewed the event as an opportunity to be the "new me"- a non-drinker - at peace with that decision. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was ok with who I am, what I believe, what I do, what I say. I talked more than normal and danced with the hubs and laughed a lot - all without alcohol. This "me" has been here all along - and I've been trying to express her by using alcohol. But alcohol only made it harder for people to know me because I didn't know me. Something wonderful is happening as I begin to take care of myself. I believe I am worth it, and it shows. I begin to act with genuineness, kindness and express more of my personality. Turns out, when I don't focus on "not getting my fix", but on the dessert, the wedding dress, the beautiful flowers and room, the jokes being cracked, the conversation and how I - yes I - feel about it all, I enjoy myself a lot. So far, so good.

[j-vo]

So awesome Kensho!!!

[idefineme]

that is so good and refreshing to hear, Kensho. Good on you, lady!

[Byrdlady]

Hi Lifechange! Gracias por su palabras.

Happy Sunday Nesters!

Reading on deprivation, I realize I was operating through this mindset and it wasn't working. Last night we went to this wedding, and hung out with my husbands co-workers. They are a very social bunch - and drink a lot. I have always felt uncomfortable trying to keep up with their extroverted styles. But last night, I had a total blast. I didn't white-knuckle it though the night wishing I could participate in the drinkfest, instead I viewed the event as an opportunity to be the "new me"- a non-drinker - at peace with that decision. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was ok with who I am, what I believe, what I do, what I say. I talked more than normal and danced with the hubs and laughed a lot - all without alcohol. This "me" has been here all along - and I've been trying to express her by using alcohol. But alcohol only made it harder for people to know me because I didn't know me. Something wonderful is happening as I begin to take care of myself. I believe I am worth it, and it shows. I begin to act with genuineness, kindness and express more of my personality. Turns out, when I don't focus on "not getting my fix", but on the dessert, the wedding dress, the beautiful flowers and room, the jokes being cracked, the conversation and how I - yes I - feel about it all, I enjoy myself a lot. So far, so good.

Welcome to the other side, Kensho! Very proud of you! B

[Guitarista]

Kensho :thumbsup:

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Another day with two busy & LOUD little boys is over, thank goodness, ha ha!!
Love them to death but I see the advantage to having them running around & making all that noise outside when it's warmer

Kensho, great post - good for you!

LC, good to see you!

j-vo, your current plan sounds just right

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Just back from a vacation up to a beautiful and remote location with some great friends and my husband. So many laughs and so relaxing. I'm sorry I forgot to let you know I'd be gone ahead of time.

I will catch up tomorrow. Read that post, though, Kensho. I love that moment when I realized that I am actually here, better than ever. Congratulations.

Pav

[available]

Hi nesters

Its a great feeling when we realise we can live without al. It will always be around us, its how we deal with it around us that is so important. I found 1sts the hardest but it gets easier day by day when we have a positive mindset and a support network that understands.

My daughter is leaving her husband of two years so a bit of stress with that at the moment. As i said to her you can be the only one to make choices in your life and live with them. I can only be here to support you with what you are going through. She has been here for me when i made the decision/choice to stop drinking and who am i to judge others. I can give her my love and sober wisdom. I am sad that it didnt work but at the end of the day her happiness is what matters.

On a happier note my friend Robert is having a commitment ceremony with his partner of 16 years. It is sad that gay marriage is not legal here but to show their commitment will be wonderful to witness. I just hope he lives to celebrate this day as the bad days are outweighing the good now. He is a determined soul and a wonderful friend.

Only a fortnight till the wedding and my head is in the right space. I just dont drink, wont drink and will listen to all the marvellous accolades on how good i am for not drinking, these accolades will be from my old drinking buddies who are still drinking but i will take those compliments and know that i am proud of what i have accomplished.

Congrats to those hitting milestones and nice to see you back LC.

[Eloise]

Omg i feel like death warmed over. How is it possible today feels worse than yesterday?
Thank god I dont have work today. Lots of af days piling for everyone, who knows maybe we could have an epically sober turkey day this year?

[Samstone]

Hi Lifechange! Gracias por su palabras.

Happy Sunday Nesters!

Reading on deprivation, I realize I was operating through this mindset and it wasn't working. Last night we went to this wedding, and hung out with my husbands co-workers. They are a very social bunch - and drink a lot. I have always felt uncomfortable trying to keep up with their extroverted styles. But last night, I had a total blast. I didn't white-knuckle it though the night wishing I could participate in the drinkfest, instead I viewed the event as an opportunity to be the "new me"- a non-drinker - at peace with that decision. I felt comfortable in my own skin. I was ok with who I am, what I believe, what I do, what I say. I talked more than normal and danced with the hubs and laughed a lot - all without alcohol. This "me" has been here all along - and I've been trying to express her by using alcohol. But alcohol only made it harder for people to know me because I didn't know me. Something wonderful is happening as I begin to take care of myself. I believe I am worth it, and it shows. I begin to act with genuineness, kindness and express more of my personality. Turns out, when I don't focus on "not getting my fix", but on the dessert, the wedding dress, the beautiful flowers and room, the jokes being cracked, the conversation and how I - yes I - feel about it all, I enjoy myself a lot. So far, so good.

you got it!!!!