Newbies Nest

[Eloise]

Gosh Kensho you are doing waay better than I did in the beginning. I avoided any gatherings with alcohol entirely. Actually, I still do this more or less.
My first go of it will be in February when I head to Asia to visit a very dear friend. She knows I am not drinking at all now, she has done the same in the past. I was supposed to go there in August but I did not feel strong enough. I think now I do. I figured by February I would have even more resolve & I think I will.
Glad you are feeling strong!

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters,

Frosty here this morning & I slept great!! I think that's the secret to a good night's sleep for me, ha ha!

Glad you had a nice vacation Pav.

Ava, sorry to hear the news about your daughter. It's hard watching our kids struggle with grownup issues. I hope she finds happiness.
Robert must be happy to be making wedding plans, good for him.
Our Supreme Court just made same-sex marriage legal here in the US a few months ago. There is still a huge religious objection for the most part. I have no objection to seeing people happy, why should we? I hope everything goes well for him.

Hope you feel better Eloise!
Hi there Sam!

Have a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, fellow nesters!
Rainy and cold here, too, Lav. Yuck.
Pav, I wondered where you were, I had to go snooping to find out! Glad you had a nice mini vacation, but we're glad you're back! You haven't missed a day of posting since the Carter administration, :haha: so I wondered where the heck you were! You and are Ava are coming right up on two big years! That is just amazing!

I feel as if I'm already behind on the Christmas season! As I was out and about over the weekend, the bell ringers are already out and a Christmas tree lot is going up! What the what???? Nothing like rushing things! I still have Halloween candy for Pete's Sake!

I hope everyone has a strong plan in place for the week....I am so thrilled to see everyone adding MORE and MORE days to his/her AF count. You just wouldn't believe Roll Call! Incredible numbers over there.....all achieved one day at a time! (sometimes one minute at a time!)
Have a good Monday! Byrdie

[Starfish1]

Good Morning, Nester Friends!

Sorry, I haven't posted in a few days. I am here and all is well. I was out of town over the weekend, visiting family and was unable to read much or post, but I will try to read back and catch up a little bit. I certainly was thinking (over the weekend) how nice it is not to have my life controlled by a liquid poison anymore. Too much life to live!

:hug:LC It is so good to see you again!

Have a wonderful day and week everyone!

[Mr Vervill]

Wonderful post Kensho, thanks you.

[j-vo]

Good morning.

Ava, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but I bet it must feel good to be by her side sober as she goes through a difficult time.

El, you have to shake this illness soon. And I would guess 6 months does and would make a difference As to How strong you feel and what you're able to face as a sober person. That was a really responsible thing to do....wait until you were ready for a trip like that. You've put too much time and effort in to let it be ruined.

Feeling positive and strong on this Monday morning and for that, I'm grateful.

[KENSHO]

No Joke Byrdie - I went to the Halloween section for last minute stuff ON halloween and the isle was reduced to a small "sale" bin on an end cap! It's a business - lots of $$ in Christmas - soon it will be July!

Gosh Kensho you are doing waay better than I did in the beginning.

Thank you Eloise, and everyone with your positive comments! I am only 10 days in, and my hard time is around 30-ish. But I do feel that there is something different for me now, and it is the mental part. When the AL voice comes, instead of saying to myself "you can't...", I say "No, you don't do that any more. That was the old you. What will the new you do instead?" Then the focus becomes on building something different - on observing my present, on acknowledging that AL is a thing of the past, and what relief! I get to work on me and move forward & grow - not spend my energy on "denying" myself, scheming to get alcohol or feeling bad that I indulged. Once I admitted I was afraid to grow past this, I was able to face it square on, and that has helped. But at Thanksgiving, I will be nearing my historically difficult time - AND have my parents and husband's parents in one house - could get dicey! But the new me will get to deal with it.

Stick around Starfish!

Ava, I'm glad Robert will get to pledge his love to his significant other while he is still here - what are we if we can't celebrate who we love? Why would anyone want to deny anyone of that? I know it is a touchy subject, but it seems like a basic human right to me. You are a good friend.

[Dutch1988]

Kensho at least you know where the struggles is at. You can always learn from that personal experience and be ready, and it sounds like you are. Have a plan and stick to it and you should be fine.

Good to see you starfish!

I am having a tough Monday for some reason. I made it 14 days with sugar, and finally caved yesterday, and did the usual pizza/ben and jerrys pint. On the positives, I don't feel nearly as bad as I did previously, and I definitely struggled through it, so my insulin resistance must have been better. Still, I keep getting to this 13/14 day point with sugar and caving. It's like I haven't really grown as a person, I just replaced alcohol with sugar. That makes me depressed, but I am sure it's not that simple.

My wife told me yesterday she was thinking of getting on anti-depressants, that she had been feeling depressed for a long time since the miscarriage in May. I was surprised how well she had been handling it, and she was really supportive of my feelings, so naturally she has just been suppressing things, and now that we are a few weeks out from the would be due date, she's sleeping way more and telling me she's having a hard time. I don't like the idea of my wife being on anti-depressants, and my first response was just drink like a normally depressed person. Tell's you my mindset hasn't changed all that much. I feel sad just thinking about it. I was kicking ass just 4 days ago, nothing spectacular happened other than giving into sugar cravings and my wife telling me that, and I am back down to feeling bummed. That's life for you. Going to try and stay focused on my short term goals, stay away from alcohol and still try and not eat sugar. Sugar is hard man, it really is haha/

[j-vo]

Dutch,
I read this on Facebook and posted this in Gloamers thread. Thought you'd appreciate it here:

Life is amazing. And then it's awful.
And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.

I know how miscarriages can bring on depression. It's such a loss, and I'm sorry that you and your wife had to go through that. Hang on and the amazing stuff will be back, and the ordinary. Oh, I do believe that Ben and Jerry's is a way better choice than alcohol.:happy2:

[abcowboy]

Howdy ho nestors! I haven’t posted here much as there are already so many great people with great advice and support, but I thought I could share a bit with the holiday season coming up. If we spend as much time staying sober as we did getting drunk, the roll call would have nothing but huge numbers! I agree with Byrdie though, it is great to see all the members there, working hard at adding to their AF day count.

Things have been going pretty good for me, not much happening, staying sober has it’s moments, but for the most part I’m not finding this quit hard at all. I think it’s because of darn near dying because of drinking. There are times I get the “poor, poor me’s” or the “I wishes” but I try to stop them dead in their tracks instead of trying to understand them or analyze them. There is not much to understand or analyze, I suffer from AUD and there will be times like this. I won’t be able to help it, but I can do something about it, and that is gratitude. Grateful that I’m still alive, grateful for a supportive spouse and family. Grateful for MWO, grateful to God for giving me a second chance at life. I can be around alcohol and not fear it or myself now. I look at alcohol as death in a bottle for me. It’s not getting a second chance to end my life, in any way! I really believe that gratitude can make all the difference in making your quit stick. So many have a bad day, or a bad experience, and find the excuse to pick up again. When those times come, why not think of things to be grateful for instead of excuses to drink? It really isn’t that hard if you think about it.

In a couple of months I’ll be a year sober. I can say this because I know it to be true. Nothing, and I mean nothing, would make me give up this quit. So if you’re struggling, constantly slipping, or relapsing, pm me…I’ll do whatever I can to help you over those tough times. No point white knuckling it alone, we all know where that leads. It can be as easy or as tough as you make it, but it doesn’t have to be done by yourself…..all you have to do is reach out, and there is no shame in that!

[kherriot]

My Dad's birthday today he would have been 91. This is the last time I will comment on his passing. I don't get why people post anniversaries' and birthdays. I just did it because it was so close to his passing. things going good with the grandkids, 15 to 3 hockey on Saturday practice yesterday, was great watching. They look so professional. Lots of snow in Calgary so we will see about next Saturday, it is in Arcadia, I have directions but if it is snowing "forget it" Doing good right now, cookies were a disaster yesterday but now I have my special ones and I am sure they will be fine. Have a great night, funny how grandkids make it all worth while. I am just grateful that my son and daughter in law trust me to look after their kids. It is so special, miss hubby but you have to do what you have to do.

Have a great night all. Looking forward to tomorrow.

[abcowboy]

Hi Karen, glad things are going good in Cowtown! Strange, but today is my Dad's birthday as well! He would have been 85 today but I lost him in flesh 13 years ago, he is still with me in spirit each and every day!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see all the kids checking in today

I am choosing happiness & the only way I can keep that going is to keep AL out of my life.
My husband's brother took his own life one year ago today. He spent 60 years on this planet always choosing unhappiness,trying to drink & drug his way thru life. All he had to do was choose the happiness route.

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest.

Lav

[kherriot]

So sorry ABC It still hurts, have been through Lot of deaths lately

[kherriot]

So sorry to hear about your brother in law, you can't protect every one. Wow it must be hard to remember. Funny I am turning 60 in January, I think my life will be so much better without AL. One day at a time. Thanks for sharing.