Newbies Nest

[idefineme]

Knock 'em dead, Byrdie! You'll do great!

[ssd858]

I hope today goes well for you!

Haha to flaky pastry.

Kensho - it is great you came on and shared. It takes a strong will to do that. Keep going - we can do this! If you can, please share what happened. Hugs.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

It's a sunny & cool Tuesday morning in this end of the nest

Kensho, please don't feel defeated. See what you can do to adjust your plan to work up your resistance. AL needs to be permanently exterminated!

Byrdie, wishing you the very best today & always!

I just read that Charlie Sheen's reveal was concerning his HIV status. I wish him well.

Wishing a great AF day for all today!

Lav

[j-vo]

I've had some emotional days. Job...mom's declining health...worrying about dad taking care of mom...son turned 18 today. So I had a little cry this morning. I'm feeling these emotions and understanding that feeling is ok. It has to be, as this is life. I'll carry on with my gratitude even though I'm feeling a bit low. And none of this is ever a reason to drink. One drink and I'd be back in hell. I'd rather feel low every now and then than to live in hell. Tomorrow will be better.

[All done drinking]

J-vo,

Stress and worry went hand in hand with me saying to the girls "I need a drink" and looking for a happy hour on a Wednesday night. Stay strong and remember "this too shall pass". I understand the bittersweet emotions with your son growing up, my oldest is 19 and younger ones turn 18 in January. Being a caretaker of parents is a tremendous responsibility as well. Stay strong and know we're here for you
Addy

[KENSHO]

Happy Tuesday. I'm not sure what came over me on Sunday. I can attend a wedding, big nights out with friends, breweries - and have no trouble saying no. I can focus on the me without alcohol, be a bit more healthy on a daily basis and I truly enjoy not drinking. It really doesn't make me feel good. So why do I get these times when I WANT it SO badly? I go through the list - get non-al drink in hand. Distract. Remember that I am happier without alcohol, and am growing to be my best self without it. Feel grateful for no hangovers or non-sensical irritability. But then these moods come where nothing seems to help. It's like there is nothing - not ice cream, AF drinks, relaxing, laughing, etc. - that can change my mood. That's when the cravings hit strong. My brain says - alcohol is the only thing that can "change" this. And it's not for the better - it's just "changed". I am no longer afraid to grow, or to be the "different" one in the room, but I seem to struggle with certain discomforts, and even though the rational part of me knows alcohol can't solve anything, there are times I still want it something fierce. I don't know what to do about that. The good news is that I don't go on week long benders - but why can't I just get past this and move on to a year, 2 years, a life without AL? I'm less frustrated with myself - and just more frustrated with the cravings that hit and completely take over my rational thinking.

Anyway, JVO, my kiddos are young - so I can't relate to the empty nest thing, but I don't look forward to it! Along with helping your parents, sounds like a lot on your plate. One foot in front of the other, right? You win the attitude award...

Byrdie, I like making light of those cravings. The point is that we only THINK we need alcohol - we don't really. Though, I do have a thing for Starbucks chocolate croissants, all warmed up and gooey! I'm sure you'll nail your presentation.

[NoSugar]

Kensho, as soon as you completely decide that you don't drink, you'll find something else to consume or do in those situations. My default "solutions" are a walk with my dog, a hot bath, or bed. I have to do something else because I don't drink.

[Guitarista]

Hi Nesters.

88 and feeling gr8. Where's Dutch? How are you buddy?

Kensho, might be an idea to try some mind altering techniques 'maaaan.' What I mean is a bit what NS is talking about - mind set change/positive self talk, but also have you looked into detachment from thoughts (Buddhist theory)/cognitive behavioural therapy? All about helpful ways to manage our thoughts. I'm not suggesting we need to book more appt's with a therapist as there's plenty of good reading material on this stuff around. And sometimes the only way out is through. Not advice here, just thinking aloud friend.

Safe travels Byrdy!

Yes Lav, al must be exterminated. Take it easy out there.

[TribalRose]

Hi All / I rarely post but read the boards daily. Lots of wisdom here which helps me thru my daily journey. I've recently retired so this gives me More time to drink and regret doing so.

[j-vo]

Kensho, I think the change for me was an acceptance that I'm an alcoholic and there is no safe way for me to drink, therefore, I don't drink. There is no choice. And I'm going to keep going with that, because it's true and I don't have to fight anymore.

[Guitarista]

I've recently retired so this gives me More time to drink and regret doing so.

Hi Rose. Good to see you.

As a self appointed gentleman of leisure, aint this the truth. On the other hand, It's also a huge opportunity to do lot's of cool stuff we love to do.

For me I realised it comes down to perspective and mind set. Hope your day/evening is a bewdy.

xpost Jvo. Good stuff.

[All done drinking]

Hi All / I rarely post but read the boards daily. Lots of wisdom here which helps me thru my daily journey. I've recently retired so this gives me More time to drink and regret doing so.

Welcome TribalRose. That can be the scary thing about retirement...not enough to do to keep busy unless a person really makes plans. I even find that too much down time can lead to mild depression for me. Need to keep busy for sure. Post more often, let us know a bit about yourself, your struggles. You can click on our names and the site shows you our various posts so you can get to know more about us. We have various jobs (if we still work) and hobbies, with all having the common denominator of avoiding alcohol. Come join us!
:welcome:
~Addy

[All done drinking]

...and even though the rational part of me knows alcohol can't solve anything, there are times I still want it something fierce. I don't know what to do about that.

Kensho,

What I did about it was read research on having an occasional drink which made me never want to have an occasional one again for a very important reason. It's called aperiodic reinforcement. When you quit drinking and then allow a slip, one drink or two, what it does is strengthen the original behavior of drinking and then makes extinction of the craving almost impossible. If we “slip” after a period of abstinence and then experience the desired effects of alcohol that are positive (the buzz, liking the taste, etc.) the compulsion to drink is likely to remain as strong as ever. Since one would never know when they would give in to their urges (which occasion would be an allowable time?) etc. we'd be back on that hamster wheel again. To read the full post go to: https://www.mywayout.org/community/ge...t-love-14.html #138. Hoping this article can answer your question and scare the daylights out of you.

Tough love,
~Addy

[j-vo]

Hi Tribal,
You're right. Lots of wisdom in this nest. Glad you're here.

[Samstone]

Happy Tuesday. I'm not sure what came over me on Sunday. I can attend a wedding, big nights out with friends, breweries - and have no trouble saying no. I can focus on the me without alcohol, be a bit more healthy on a daily basis and I truly enjoy not drinking. It really doesn't make me feel good. So why do I get these times when I WANT it SO badly? I go through the list - get non-al drink in hand. Distract. Remember that I am happier without alcohol, and am growing to be my best self without it. Feel grateful for no hangovers or non-sensical irritability. But then these moods come where nothing seems to help. It's like there is nothing - not ice cream, AF drinks, relaxing, laughing, etc. - that can change my mood. That's when the cravings hit strong. My brain says - alcohol is the only thing that can "change" this. And it's not for the better - it's just "changed". I am no longer afraid to grow, or to be the "different" one in the room, but I seem to struggle with certain discomforts, and even though the rational part of me knows alcohol can't solve anything, there are times I still want it something fierce. I don't know what to do about that. The good news is that I don't go on week long benders - but why can't I just get past this and move on to a year, 2 years, a life without AL? I'm less frustrated with myself - and just more frustrated with the cravings that hit and completely take over my rational thinking.

Anyway, JVO, my kiddos are young - so I can't relate to the empty nest thing, but I don't look forward to it! Along with helping your parents, sounds like a lot on your plate. One foot in front of the other, right? You win the attitude award...

Byrdie, I like making light of those cravings. The point is that we only THINK we need alcohol - we don't really. Though, I do have a thing for Starbucks chocolate croissants, all warmed up and gooey! I'm sure you'll nail your presentation.

Kensho
I remember the first holiday season of being sober, all rationale was being strained, my inadvertent solution was posting on MWO and being supported. It helped along with the inner gut knowing full damn well what would happen in the end, right back to where I was in no time.

JVO, my wife and I enjoy the empty nest immensely, but we live in very small house and everyone was ready.