Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Hi Freefly, glad you've pulled up a twig. Need a blanket in your parts?

Pav, wow, imagine if you weren't there to see her pour that in! But then again, how would we know when we go out for dinner when they use alcohol in our food? Hmm....

Hypernova, that's some tough stuff. First, glad you made it through without caving to something that probably would have made your pain worse. Have you ever considered a therapist to talk to? Here's some hugs and we're here to listen anytime you need.:hug:

Going to do some decorating tonight. Mr J-vo will be going out with other parents to see a band. I'm not feeling ready to do that just yet, but I know I'll be ok eventually. I love to listen to live music and dance, so I don't want to deprive myself of that for very long. I guess I'll know when I'm ready? I know I wouldn't drink, but it's the fact that I don't want to feel deprivation. I don't want to start avoiding situations, but I don't want to take chances when it's not necessary. I think I just need more of a cushion of time.

Have a good night.

[KENSHO]

Howdy folks. Checking in. On the exercise bike at the neighborhood clubhouse. I look forward to this very moment all year... No pressure, bit of sweat in the desert, and a steam. Might very well be the only hour that is mine all week. I feel clean and clear and have a lot more energy than I had when I came down here. Rested up? Of course because we leave early tomorrow to go back to cold and ice! I like the Rocky Mtns., but I totally understand why people become snow birds and flock to this sun!

That said, I had a glass of champagne last night. I'm not sure what to say or think about that. But I want to be honest.

[Quit wining]

Thanks for your honesty Kensho! The temptation can be strong, especially at this time of year.

So, yesterday you had a glass of champagne. And today you're back with your friends in the nest! I just checked to see if you'd signed in to Roll Call but didn't see you there.

If there's anything your fellow nesters can do, just ask, we're here for you and each other.

Ah, the heat of the desert. Next winter I hope to be a snow bird and enjoying a few months in the Arizona sunshine. Safe travels home!

[available]

Morning nesters

Saturday here and the lead up to Christmas is madness for just one day. I am the baaaaa humbug type and prefer to spend time with the ones i love during the year every chance i can get.

Welcome Free and so lovely to have you back. We wander away and we drink but the safety of the nest never waivers for all of us. Thank goodness for the long timers and their dedication.

Wow Mr G so close to triple digits, it will be a wonderful day for you and us.

El, i hope everything has settled down for you. There is nothing worse when one bit of shite turns into lots but you are strong in your quit. I always think, bring it on life, throw it at me and i can deal with it now. Before it would have been - bottle shop and drunk.

Kensho it is always your choice only to drink as it is your choice only not to. Al is a monster i know that, he never seems to leave your thoughts initially but believe us long timers a day will come where he is but a memory and a bad one.

J, stay away from temptation. You are new into this quit and very dedicated. It can take one moment, one situation, one thought and your quit is gone. The outside world will still be there in a few months time. I hibernated for months and months and nothing had changed when i felt strong enough to be a part of life again without al. My focus was not drinking and not putting myself in ANY situation where i would be wobbly or unsure. Nothing was worth losing my quit for and it is still how i feel today. I am not missing out on anything if i am not drinking.

My 4 children have all broken up with their partners in the last couple of weeks and being sober is great, i know i can be there for each and every one of them emotionally. I am their rock and their safe place now and i feel very proud of this. Back in the past i would have drank and encouraged them to drown their sorrows so i could have drinking mates. I have some big changes next year job wise and relocating and it is refreshing not to rush into it "gung ho", i can think, look, contemplate, weigh up my options and all with a clear head. Al clouded so much of my life and now i want to do this right. All of this is for a better life for my family and myself. I now feel i deserve all the happiness that i can find and 2016 will be a good year, mind you i did say that about 2015!

Take care x

[Eloise]

Well Mr, V I guess I am okay.
Available I definitely do not feel like "life, brimg it on" more like Leave Me Alone.
Very tired, glad folks did ok yesterday.

[FreeFly]

Head doing somersaults, gawd I hate this bit. Bed is the only answer. I know the drill and tomorrow daytime will be fine. Saturday night to go. Weekends are my nemisis. How long til the stinking thinking changes?

[j-vo]

El, :hug: I'm definitely a hugger. Hope you don't mind.

Freefly, hang in there. Eat something like chocolate! I think I'm gonna do that very soon. Are you using any other distractions? Walk, watch a movie? Check out the toolbox as there has to be something in there for you for this difficult moment.

Ava, you're so right, there will be lots of bands and lots of fun. I'm content just sitting here with my new hair and my pup who just got a bath.

Mr J-vo left to first go to the casino (he's a controlled gambler just like a controlled drinker, especially when I'm not drinking with him) and then going to see the band. I have to be honest...I'm welcoming the quiet night by myself. I love my Mr. J-vo, but I like me time, too.

Kensho, what situation were you in that you decided to have a glass of champagne? How were you feeling before you drank it? Only asking, beccause I think it's good to know where our triggers are coming from. It can be a simple, split-second decision, or one that's been nagging us for awhile. Mine always seemed to be the former, as I'd always feel strong in my quit, then BAM! WTF happened! Those 'WTF happened to me moments' are the reason I'm not going out tonight. I know we can't avoid every situation, but when I HAVE no choice, I'm going to try and have all of my tools ready at my fingertips.

Ok, decided not to decorate tonight and just sit with my pup. Might eat loads of chocolate. Need to be up early for a basketball game and it's an away game so 6 a.m. and I'll be unhung!!!

[j-vo]

Ava,
Strength to you as you deal with your kids' breakups. That has to be not only very emotional for them, but for you. :hug:

[Guitarista]

Well made it through yesterday which to me is a big achievement. Not just b/c it is a day of celebration which always in the past included alcohol but it is a tough time of year. I have lost so many family members to death and some how this time of year just finds me depressed and sad (more so than usual). The family became polarized from all the death and illness and I always tried to hold things together. I pretended to be fine so as not to cause any more pain for my family. Didn't realize how hopeless and destructive this was. I have drank my way through the years to obliterate a good part of the pain. Never really worked through anything. Always thought things would just work out sooner or later. Didn't realize how alcohol was keeping me depressed and anxious. I always thought of it as my silent partner who was always there to help me as I wandered through life with everyone including myself thinking I was fine. I was a controlled drinker. What a scam. Truth is I was just capable of drinking huge amounts of alcohol w/o appearing intoxicated . Now I am making an attempt to face things w/o the use of alcohol. Been here before and failed. Don't know where this leads me but most of the time feel like I am one step away from falling in a hole. I will keep on with my AF plan knowing it will not kill me as alcohol surely will if I allow it to. ~ Tough to look at my repressed pain. ~ Thanks for the opportunity to express myself. Peace to everyone.

Hi Nesters near and not so far,

Thanks for the kind comments on the music, all part of the service. :happy2:

Really relate to your post above Hyper. It is all too common for families and anyone to become polarised and blindsided by traumatic events/losing someone, and try to deal with it for years by numbing ourselves with booze and never really lifting the fog and coming to grips with the reality. This is a totally understandable way to attempt to deal with stuff, but my experience has been that whilst getting numb can be an effective short term fix, it can also have a sort of 'rebound'/opposite effect of prolonging the trauma. This is why getting sober when we've been masking loss with booze can be tricky, but absolutely do-able and totally possible to work through what we might need to. Or if not work through it, at least acknowledge our feelings and be ok with that. Lifting the fog on personal loss somehow for me has allowed life's bigger picture, and 'bigness' to emerge. I start to understand and accept some things may not be 'right', but this is life happening before me and I can decide how I want to play the game. One of the best things about life I now understand and have accepted is that I cannot control everything outside of myself, and that's ok.

Good to see ya Freefly!

Thanks Ava. Great post too my friend!

Here's an excerpt from Lilbits sci-fi novel that I found in the trash after it didn't make the final draft. Pity, as it's brilliant as usual.......

'Black Friday'

"Marijetke hopped on her solar powered skates to procure some almond milk for her muesli from the nearest 7-11 which is on the planet Mercury. She knew that this morning Flavio would be serving, so made a special effort to look good. However, upon arrival, something was different. Flavio was slurring his speech, had a seemingly permanent smile, and was forever leaning to one side. Flavio had been drinking! Now this came as no surprise to Marijetke who was well aware of the poor working conditions 7-11 are known for, and the current fair wage claim case before the courts, but to see the man of her dreams like this was distressing. She felt torn. Torn between staying to support him, and knowing that time was quickly running out as Mercury's day/night cycle was fast turning into night where temperatures can reach minus 150 C as the sun fades. This would mean her solar skates could not be recharged by the warmth of the suns rays, and if she didn't leave now, she may not make it home".........

[kuya]

Head doing somersaults, gawd I hate this bit. Bed is the only answer. I know the drill and tomorrow daytime will be fine. Saturday night to go. Weekends are my nemisis. How long til the stinking thinking changes?

Hope you are hanging in there FF .... remember it is only thoughts, they have no power unless you let them.

I have been engaging in 3 principles work for a little while and want to share this clip about addiction. I wish I had encountered the principles years ago... or perhaps I was supposed to follow this path for a reason.

Anyway enjoy......

Alex's Story: Drug addiction - Three Principles Movies: Three Principles of innate health and wellbeing

[FreeFly]

Thanks K. Horrible evening! Definitely off to bed now. Taking your clip with me. Shall report back tomorrow. Night all x

[j-vo]

Kuya,
I watched the clips and a few more. Interesting as it seems very simple. I liked the analogy he gave of "we are the sky and the weather as our thoughts" they change, come, go, pretty days, ugly, damp days, but it always changes. We can't stop it from happening like we can't stop our thoughts. Just let it in and let it out. Just recapping for myself and anyone else interested. Did you go through the program?

[NoSugar]

https://www.reverbnation.com/guitari...782963-96-days

I finally had a chance to find out what the fuss was all about. It looks like you're just going to have to accept that you can be great, Mr G, and that is nothing to be afraid of or to bury. You've got a light and you need to let it shine - that way you can see where you're going and help others find their ways as well. xx, NS

[Eloise]

Omg, 2:30 am. Hd touched my injury while asleep.
God help me, so much pain. How is this possible....

[j-vo]

G! Beautiful!!!