Newbies Nest

[Eloise]

19 Awesome Ways My Life Changed In 19 Sober Months. — HIP SOBRIETY

Some af inspiration

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, so many folks checking today ~ awesome!

Welcome back Freefly!
Hang in there, keep your goals in mind & stay close to the nest.

Eloise, so sorry for your pain, Pain in the middle of the night always seems worse :hug:

I can't comment on everyone's posts but I have read them all.
I firmly believe we can all meet our AF goals with determination, a good plan & loads of free online support
Have a safe night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[Guitarista]

19 Awesome Ways My Life Changed In 19 Sober Months. — HIP SOBRIETY

Some af inspiration

Thanks Eloise. Great read. Here is the intro to that article. I like how the writer really highlights the difference in her quality of life now she's living sober.

Thanks J vo and SB.

"I had my last last drink on April 13, 2013.

There is no way to describe what has happened in those months since. As far as I'm concerned, my life can be cut up into two boxes. The life before I learned what it meant to not drink, and the life after. The former a slow progression through a tolerable life with a severe longing for something more and a clear sense of never having or being enough. The latter not just the escape from that…the latter truly the having of things that I had always assumed were just not for me.

What unfolded was something beyond my wildest dreams. What unfolded was what happens when you decide for you and only you, and when you clear the space to make YOU happen.

Whatever benefits alcohol seems to provide I assure you they are trite in comparison to the possibilities of the life that stands beyond. Saying goodbye to the junk was saying goodbye to the life I had accepted as good enough and hello to a life that continues to unfold in magical, reality defying ways.

If you are thinking about sobriety…or even just feel like your consumptive addictive habits are standing in the way of your greatness, read these 19 things I have done in 19 months, and then make a list of your own. What would you do with all that time, energy, love, and clear space? What are your dreams? What are your goals? What the fuck do you want in life that you think you can't have?

The truth is…we are all capable of greatness. We are all capable of doing anything we can dream, otherwise we wouldn't be capable of dreaming it. It just takes the willingness to abandon what is holding us back and to step through and out of the comfort zone. As Charles Dubois once said, “The important thing is to be able at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.”

[kuya]

Kuya,
I watched the clips and a few more. Interesting as it seems very simple. I liked the analogy he gave of "we are the sky and the weather as our thoughts" they change, come, go, pretty days, ugly, damp days, but it always changes. We can't stop it from happening like we can't stop our thoughts. Just let it in and let it out. Just recapping for myself and anyone else interested. Did you go through the program?

I am going to start the training next year. I am studying as much as possible.
There is a lot of info on that site ...join as a member for free and you can access a lot more.

I might start a new thread for principle chat as there is loads to share and it would keep it all in one place.

The most important concept to get is the fact that all of our feelings are simply a result of our thought in that moment. Our reality is created from the inside, not by outside circumstances. Knowing this is the key to happiness.

[Guitarista]

All the best with it Kuya. The 3 principles site stuff for me echoes a lot of Buddhism philosophy and Zen thought that is centuries old. Either way, good to understand that our thoughts are not always who we are, and we don't need to act on them.

Take it easy out there Nesters. The weekend ain't no front row ticket to boozeville see?

[kuya]

And to Mr G....lovely listening...I really liked Missy B a lot

[Guitarista]

And to Mr G....lovely listening...I really liked Missy B a lot

Thanks my friend. :happy2:

[kuya]

All the best with it Kuya. The 3 principles site stuff for me echoes a lot of Buddhism philosophy and Zen thought that is centuries old. Either way, good to understand that our thoughts are not always who we are, and we don't need to act on them.

Take it easy out there Nesters. The weekend ain't no front row ticket to boozeville see?

Three principles work is about making what is centuries old usable today I think. People raised with western perceptions need a language they can understand.

[Eloise]

kind of a great website hip sobriety huh G?
she has a lot of other blog posts. i am living what she is talking about so really it is an excellent reminder of how much better life is now.
i also thought it is good for folks struggling to read that yeah, becoming a non-drinker is worth the effort.
life is just so entirely different. i cannot imagine how i would cope with all i am dealing with right now if I was drinking. safe to say drinking would make it all unbearable.
and terrible for my husband to watch.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Saturday to all
I have lots of things to do today to keep me out of trouble. I will be making dinner & a cake for my grandson, it's his 7th birthday!

What is everyone else doing today?
It's a busy time of the year, always something going on. Plan ahead to protect your quits, you won't be sorry

Have a great AF day!

Lav

[Eloise]

Just hung up on my father.
He has absolutely no empathy for other people. It is not just me, for anyone. He has not always been like this but has since his heart trouble.
He started the conversation with " i know you dont like this but am going to tell you anyhow" then he tells me about an 11 year old boy killing a doe and her baby in one shot.
Why does he need to tell me these terrible stories?
Then its "well I cut my middle finger off and was back to work the next day" ... "Everyone is different though" ... I should have gotten off skype with him then, but no I continue to be nice and let him tell me how the world works.
I hung up when he told me the stable should pay for my hospital bills or I shouldnt complain. He misses the point of what I say consistently. I am not going to fight with them when they are the Only people I talk to on a regular basis. He carries on saying "YOU dont do those things." He is mean. Why be nasty to me when I am down? Because it isnt about me. Who cares how I feel?
I thought I felt bad about hanging up on him, but I don't.
Omg, I am just not equiped to deal with much right now, good I am not teaching for a while.

[Eloise]

I havent even told him I stoppe drinking.
Sometimes he says to me "are you into the wine tonight?"
Its just hopeless trying to have a pleasant conversation with either of my parents. No wonder I never wanted to have children! It gives me the chills to think maybe I would treat my children like my parents treat me.
Done now. I am going to just let it go.

[j-vo]

That sucks, El. I wish I could tell you something that would help. But what you're doing for yourself is the most important. We can't control things and people around us, so just try to engage with others that make you feel good about yourself. You're a great woman, great morals, and you have every right to feel happy. Take good care of yourself and treat yourself to something really nice today!

At a basketball game about an hour away from home. Had to be up super early to get to the game, but hey, no big deal, no big hangover! Have a good day.

[Eloise]

Thank you Jvo!
Good luck there today.
I have to let it go, I do not have energy for anger. I need it all to feel better.

[NoSugar]

El, I'm so sorry for all you're dealing with.

One time I commented to my grad school advisor that my parents were making me feel so guilty about something. He looked surprised and remarked that no one can make me feel guilty - that that's something I take on myself. His words really helped me and I've come to believe that they apply to just about all of our feelings.

I have a couple people in my life who I react negatively to and who I just can't understand or even believe they can say the things they say. My husband is good at helping me see how so much of it is about them and at the core, has nothing to do with me or anything I've said or done. It is hard to let all that stuff go but the more you can do it, the better for you and for the people in your life you truly value.

xx, NS