Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Was feeling down in the dumps. I'm going to go with what I know, and that these feelings will pass through me and good ones will be on the way. One really good tool and being able to talk to somone, text, chat for a bit, someone you trust. I did that tonight, and it helped a lot. For those that texting may not be an option, is the chat option available here online? Facetime, skype, anything. If any of you need that, I'm here and we can set up a time. Let me know. You all can see what a nice hairdo I got yesterday! Take it easy on yourselves. These crappy feelings we have will pass, and good ones will replace them. :hug: to All.

[kuya]

Was feeling down in the dumps. I'm going to go with what I know, and that these feelings will pass through me and good ones will be on the way. One really good tool and being able to talk to somone, text, chat for a bit, someone you trust. I did that tonight, and it helped a lot. For those that texting may not be an option, is the chat option available here online? Facetime, skype, anything. If any of you need that, I'm here and we can set up a time. Let me know. You all can see what a nice hairdo I got yesterday! Take it easy on yourselves. These crappy feelings we have will pass, and good ones will replace them. :hug: to All.

My life changed forever when I truly realised that EVERYTHING I feel was being created by MY thoughts.....none of it comes from outside people or circumstances.
60,000 or more thoughts a day pass through our minds, some nice some nasty. We focus on what we 'believe' are 'true' but in truth we are ALL making it up!
Even our addiction is made up.

Every day I am getting better at seeing my thinking for what it is....it blows me away!

[Guitarista]

Nice one J vo. Good thinking.

Speaking of thinking, I think you are spot on Kuya. My default setting is negative thinking at least 50%, but probably more of the time. WTF?! My core, conditioned, beliefs when negative can be persuasive. But now that I've gained knowledge and insight into the human minds workings, and my own, I can more easily understand what's going on and so deal with it. This gets easier the more I do it and practice it.

So important for me to keep my head in a positive sober living space. I acknowledge the negative, but am giving it less time and space. Slowly but surely so far.

[kuya]

Nice one J vo. Good thinking.

Speaking of thinking, I think you are spot on Kuya. My default setting is negative thinking at least 50%, but probably more of the time. WTF?! My core, conditioned, beliefs when negative can be persuasive. But now that I've gained knowledge and insight into the human minds workings, and my own, I can more easily understand what's going on and so deal with it. This gets easier the more I do it and practice it.

So important for me to keep my head in a positive sober living space. I acknowledge the negative, but am giving it less time and space. Slowly but surely so far.

The great breakthrough for me was understanding that my thinking was actually creating EVERYTHING I felt. Whilst some people will say they know this I do not believe that 99% of people appreciate that EVERYTHING they feel is coming from inside them.

NONE of our feelings are coming from:

the bad traffic that made us late
our partner's behaviour
our crappy job
the weather
our bank balance
what our parent's said/did/didn't do when we were kids/last year/yesterday
our health
our drinking/lack of drinking

The BELIEF that how we feel can be caused from things outside is an innocent misunderstanding stemming from childhood and society's wish to motivate us to conform.

Once this fact truly ingrains you no longer have to 'work' at thinking positive/stopping thinking negative..... those thoughts simply don't bother you either way.

You are then at peace.... and that is when the true 'magic' can happen. The beauty of intuition can occur in the calmness created by this peace.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Busy day for me but it was a good one

Kuya, I totally agree with you! Our thoughts are everything
I was raised by a mean, negative person, probably a classic narcissist. No one liked him, absolutely no one. I used to beg my Mom to leave him but she wouldn't. I definitely picked up his habit along the way & had to work hard to get rid of it just to survive.

El, don't let your parents interfere with your journey. Some people simply lack empathy, it's foreign to them. My husband thinks of himself first, always has so I know the deal.
I decided a long time ago to be happy in spite of my childhood conditioning & my spouse's inability to understand. It just doesn't matter anymore. I hope your finger is healing well. Is there any surgical intervention planned? I wish you the very best.

G, I swear you don't look like you're 99 man!!!!!!

Pav & Ava, we have to make a lot of cake for your upcoming dual celebrations!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!!

Lav

[available]

Just the one nester Lav, lol. Who is it?

[Pavati]

Hi,

I like having an anniversary with Ava - the build up celebrations are FUN. I am a day behind here - still Saturday night, and for me the day is 12/2 (that's 2/12 to you, Undies). It really snuck up on me, but I am very proud to be here. I agree, the one year anniversary seemed more special in a way, but I also struggled in the weeks leading up to that last year. I really couldn't believe that this was forever. I BELIEVED, but dang I was feeling sorry for myself at that time. I wanted to be "normal," and just fit in. Life wasn't fair. Blah. To be honest I still get those thoughts from time to time, but very infrequently. I love my life so much more without alcohol in it. I really have adjusted to being the one not drinking, and I still laugh and have fun. I am so grateful that I don't feel today like I did on the Saturday after Thanksgiving last year. It was the beginning of the worst hangover of my life, even though I didn't drink as much as I had in the past. I felt SO bad that I know I never, never want to go back there again.

Don't worry, that was just my warmup speech. There'll be more on Wednesday...

G - I hope your gig was great. Excited to celebrate 100 with you. Maybe I'll get a massage to celebrate YOUR success. Now that's the social power of a sober group.

Kuya and Lav - Just because we think it doesn't make it true. That was a revolutionary idea that I believe I first heard (other than Siddhartha) that sentiment from The Bubble Hour. It has taken me a long time to dig through the layers of what that means, but it certainly makes for a much more peaceful life.

Byrdie - I agree. Your passion could be your business. That is some amazing stuff. What a nice neighbor you are to help out in that way. Do you charge? Can you decorate via Skype?

Night, nest. See you for the Sunday Shoutout.

Pav

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters!

Dark & damp here this morning but I woke up early anyway
My grandson's birthday continues with a small party at his house with his friends today - I'm staying out of that, ha ha!

Ava, my laptop is on it's last legs & sometimes it posts half finished sentences for me, LOL

Hi Pav, working on your speech?

Have a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[Eloise]

Nice cookies Brydie, dang you are getting Good at it!
Cancelled art for December. Truth be told the program will probably not start again in the same location.
Went to Mozart but he was out for a ride in the woods. I am very glad for this, he loves going outside even in the rain.
We agreed on a price for the new apartment today, I have no idea how this place will get packed. Movers I guess.
Sorry for all my complaining, it is for nothing I realize.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nest!
Sunny and warm this morning! No plans for today, and thats the way I like it. Cant believe my 4 day weekend is almost over!
Kuya, I am so happy that you are here! Great info!

Eloise, one day at a time....its a skill that has served me very well. Hugs, all, Byrdie

[lifechange]

hi Nesters!
just a quick fly by for me today..
have had a nice, busy weekend. first one i've been excited about in ages. for the past while i've only wanted to be on my own, snug in bed with good reading and Netflix. i enjoy both.. going to try and keep the balance.
hope this sunday finds you all well.. one day at a time, right?
:hug: to you all!

[KENSHO]

Hi All! I've really, really enjoyed the posts the last couple days! The last night at the in-laws they had a toast, and I declined. I thought, I could continue this or stop it, so I said no and moved on.

G - what awesome guitar work! I wish I could do that. I loved, loved, *loved* your posted article. Thank you so much for throwing that out there! It was a great reminder to me that we don't really taste the full benefits of stopping until we have solid AF time under our belts. I've been struggling with fully committing to a long-lasting quit. But I want what she has and so clearly put into words. And only AF time will do it.

Husband said he would do this Whole30 eating plan with me in Jan. It includes no alcohol. I am not convinced he will choose to get through the hard parts of it, but it should be interesting. At the very least, I can be an example of what it looks like. He's driving me nuts today though - he gets anxious when he returns and wants his house perfect, and how could I possibly not have all the same goal at this exact minute?

Have to run, but thanks for being here!

[available]

Hi Nesters

A huge congrats to Mr G on 100 days, onwards you go Mr G. Proud of you.

Free a great sober 7 days, woo hoo. Twas the hardest week of my life, i remember that.

Monday here, blah to that!

[j-vo]

Checking in the Nest. Nothing big to report here. Glad everyone has had a nice holiday weekend. We have one more day off tomorrow for the hunters in the area.

It's been a pretty easy, light weekend. A little basketball, finally a little xmas decorating, guests on Thanksgiving, and now a bit of school work. I've been feeling a little down, but what I know is that being down would be a thousand times worse with a hangover, or drunk and stupid.

Have a good Sunday or Monday.

[kuya]

Hi Nesters

A huge congrats to Mr G on 100 days, onwards you go Mr G. Proud of you.

Free a great sober 7 days, woo hoo. Twas the hardest week of my life, i remember that.

Monday here, blah to that!

amen to all of this!