Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

H.A.L.T. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (I would add Sad). Overwhelmed!

For me I must avoid all of the above to the absolute best of my ability. I must engage all of the cunning, the brilliance, the smoke and mirrors that I used when drinking to maintain my quit and emotional stability! Too hungry, too angry, too lonely, too tired, too often and I'm an easy target.

I am so happy now living sober. I am right onto myself if any of the above are sneaking up, or hitting me over the head. My humble booze free time has restored my clarity and enthusiasm for life. I see that anything is possible. The possibilities out there are just astounding.

L8tr g8trs.

[Guitarista]

Pav. Must be 2nd Dec. there by now, but I don't mind getting in early.

Happy 2 years booze free! Congratulations. You raawk buddy!

[ssd858]

Kensho - I hope that you woke up today feeling a little bit better. Try to do some small things for yourself with what time you do have. Hugs to you:hug:

Pav - 2 years! :welldone:

Thank you all! Byrdie, j-vo, Lav, Pav and Life Change:hug:

Yesterday was rough. I think it was definitely harder this time. I will take the wise advice to have a serious talk with my husband but am going to wait until I get through this week.

Byrdie - what was your reaction to your husband when he offered you a drink? I guess that since they do not know all that goes on inside our mind they cannot see the full effect that drinking has on us. Right now my mind is a mess.
I know that removing the al from your life is hard for us all - no matter what our situation. I am fortunate that my husband is willing to take some time off to support me in this. He just does not want to stop permanently. This is my issue and I need to take care of myself. One of my life-long tendencies is to take care of others before myself.

LC - you said exactly what I am feeling. Stuck in negativity and feeling so down on myself. Waking up at 3 makes the dark thoughts more pervasive and feel more real. After 2 weeks al-free I was feeling so good. I need to remember this. Then I threw it away for a week of drinking in the Caribbean (strange - the first few drinks did not even taste good).

I will try to stay in the moment and read and rest as much as I can. Today is not a long day for me at work so I can come home and take a nap. I really want and need this time to work.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Hump day to all!

Still dealing with rain in my soggy portion of the nest but it's still better than snow, ha ha!

CONGRATS ON YOUR 2 YEARS AF PAV!!! :welldone: :yay:
It's such a good feeling & one that you will want to hang onto forever.

SSD, hang in there & enjoy your day! Taking it one day at a time really works!
Kensho, I hope today is a better one for you. Pulling out that gratitude list when you're feeling a little low is really helpful

Wishing everyone a wonder; AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Datima]

Hi all, day three although it still feels like day two sine I was up tossing and turning most of the night. Aargh. I used some of the time looking at ways to curb cravings on the Internet. Yesterday I had a clear vision of a trouble spot for me. About an hour before work ended I got a few clear cravings for wine. I started obsessing on what I should make for dinner. Everything I wanted meant a trip to the grocery store which meant a stroll past the wine section. I really struggled but ended up not going to the store and making a fine meal with what I had at home. I have known for a long time that I spend to much money on groceries and throw away too much bad food because I use grocery shopping as an excuse for buying booze. I would never just go buy a bottle because then people would know me for who I really am. But, I do feel like I have accomplished something and feel optimistic. Going to enlist a sober friend to go shopping with me as a safeguard. Have a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Datima, very proud of you on D3! You should hear some of the stories about going to the grocery! NoSugar, is it you that talks about 2 tomatoes and a box of wine on the conveyer belt? (as if those tomatoes prompted the shopping trip). The things we do! To this day, I avoid the wine aisle at the grocery store. If you have a dog, (maybe cats do it, too??) when they get riled up, the hair on their back stands up. That would be me going down the wine aisle today. DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! That's where I used to grab and run as if it didn't matter....trying to act casual. But in reality, I was an addict who was securing my next fix. I only hoped I wouldn't run into a neighbor who would see all the one liter boxes I had in the cart! I would lay them down and put stuff over them. Boxes were easier to dispose of. I could flatten them out and put the empties in this ottoman I have in my office. When my hubs would go out of town every month, I would take the opportunity to clear them out. One month I counted 37 empties in there(remember, this was in addition to the wine I was drinking openly with hubs). I was mortified, but even THAT didn't stop me from drinking. The ultimatum from my hubs did.

SSD, my reaction when he offered me a glass? AYFKM? (Are You Kidding Me?) Disbelief! Flabbergastion!!!(if that's not a word, it should be) ANGER! And then quickly, empathy.....he wanted me to be normal again. He did not understand the implications of that drink. He does not (still) understand alcoholism fully today. All he knows is that I should not drink under any circumstances. We have gone to some neighborhood parties where they pushed drinks HARD, I could see that HE was getting antsy for me. I took care of myself, but it was nice to know he had my back if the going got tough. He doesn't understand why I can't 'just stop', but he knows that I should not have any....and that works for us.

Pav, it's with great pride and pleasure that we get to congratulate you on your multi-year quit! :two: This is BIG, BIG, BIG!! Bigger than BIG! You and Ava are the epitome of how MWO can work! Grab onto a quit buddy and don't let go! Both of you post every single day! You give strength when you have it and take it when you need it! I couldn't be more proud of you if you were my own kin! Keep up the great work!

Kensho, I'm so sorry you are feeling bad. How long since your last drink? You may find a direct connection to the two. I drank to feel better, less stressed, but just the opposite happened. I drank to cope, and then found I wasn't. I drank to sleep and then didn't. Everything I imagined AL to be was a lie. Time and distance are the only things that made me see that. I hope you feel better soon.

Happy Hump Day, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Yes, Byrdie, that was me with 2 tomatoes and a bottle of wine - clearly making an Italian dinner, right? :wink: ... I bought some of the most ridiculous stuff over the years as a pathetic 'cover' for what I really was after. Now that I've gotten some perspective, I'm pretty sure I wasn't fooling anyone, including myself. I see those carts in the stores now and when when I look at the faces of the people pushing the carts, see the same, dead eyes that won't make contact with anyone - just like I used to have.

I actually like going into the liquor section of the grocery store now when I pick up beer for my husband or wine for an event. I think about how I used to slink around there, hoping no one would see me, and try to figure out what and how much to buy. This was especially awful when I was trying to limit my intake and would do things like buy 2 of those little 4-packs of very gross wine, telling myself that I would have one per day (and I guess, 2 on Sunday) for the next week. What a joke - I'd be back to a different store within a day or two. I no longer slink around that section - I strut. I like looking at those bottles and feeling how they do not have any power over me. I look at them and feel NOTHING. Like Pav (Congrats on 2 years, Friend!!), I'm now using the power that it turns out was mine all along. As long as I don't drink, I am in total control of my relationship (or lack thereof) with alcohol.

As I read some of the posts in the NN this morning, it struck me how much some could benefit from an idea (The Three Principles) that Kuya introduced on the boards a week or so ago. It is hard to discuss because the language we normally use doesn't quite capture the ideas (in my opinion). But, we're giving it a go and if your're interested, here's the thread:https://www.mywayout.org/community/ge...on-thread.html.

Have a good one, NS

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

I have to check in before work today and say YAY! I have been alcohol free for two years. Ah-maze-ing. Go us, Ava.

I will pontificate more later, maybe, but I wanted to celebrate with those of you who will truly understand the accomplishment.

Whoot!

Pav

[Lady Liberty]

Congratulations Pav!!!! I can only dream of such a stelar accomplishment at this point in my journey. It's been a week since I (serendipitously) found this amazing group, yet alas today begins only day four for me. I attempted to moderate on Thanksgiving, pretty successfully actually, and only indulged in one "traditional" afternoon cocktail with my boyfriend's family. Water for me the rest of the day. The next night, though..... When left to my own devices, I have no self control. I could barely drag myself out of bed on Saturday for work. I just started a new business for crissake!!!! WTF is wrong with me? What kind of person self-sabatoges a brand new small business she's worked so hard to build?!? What kind of person finishes the bottle of wine with breakfast so it "won't be there" when she gets home at night?!?! Who am I kidding?!? So Sunday I vowed to get myself back on track. I keep reading here how spectacular everyone is feeling being AF. And I really, truly want that for myself. But honestly guys, I feel like shit. I'm exhausted all day long. I'm not sleeping well. My mind feels scattered and I've been having trouble concentrating. I'm agitated and irritable. I'm hanging on here by a thread, just waiting for my bright-eyed, happy, productive self to emerge... but nothing. Can anyone offer any helpful tips to get through this first bit? Pretty please, with sugar on top? (And OMG THE SUGAR!!!! I seriously can't stop eating!)
Hope everyone has a beautiful day. Thank you all for being here.
LL

[Byrdlady]

LL, I can relate....
Get yourself to day 7 and we will drop our pants and moon you! Yes, you get a prize for 7 full days!
If you are having a hard day today, tomorrow will be easier. I never had 2 bad days in a row!!!
Do whatever it takes to get to Day 13! That was the day that changed everything for me. Something clicked in my head and I knew I could do it after that. I had failed twice before just as I got to Day 12....if I had only hung in there a little bit longer, the waters would have smoothed out. You are doing great....Day 4 is massive for us!!! Stay connected with us and hang in there!! I promise, it's worth it.
Here is my post from that fateful day!
OriginallyPosted by Byrdlady
Day13. Yesterday was EASY!!!! I'm so happy to report, that hubs was out of townand I had the perfect opportunity to have myself a high old time....but Ididn't! The voices weren't as loud or as often, so day 13 was the day that Ithink I turned the corner. I feel good! I certainly haven't lost any weight...Iam rewarding myself by saying, look, you can have anything in the world youwant, except AL...now I need to reel myself in a bit and stop eating everythingin sight. Finally finished off the last of the Christmas cookies I had in thefreezer. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm getting control of mylife, and it feels really good! ODAT! I could NOT have done it without thissite.


Byrdie

[Mr Vervill]

Lady Liberty, good to see you back. The first week is the hardest for sure, especially days 3 and 4, right where you are. The sugar cravings are real, as AL metabolizes as sugar in the body, and uses it as fuel. Your body is craving its fuel source, AL. EAT, eat till you're stuffed, to help with cravings, also the amino acid L-Glutamine can help with cravings, found in health food stores.

Congrats on 2YEARS, Pav!

Kensho, when I feel down like that, I have to ask myself, how will AL help? The answer, for me at least is it won't. It won't help me make those deadlines, and the work will be crappy.

Thanks for the blog links, g on Soberistas, and ssd on Mrs D goes without. I read the introduction, and the first chapter of Mrs D's book, as well as the first two months of her blog. She nails every emotion I have gone through. worth a read. Thanks. I'll have to check out the Three Principles, just have not had the time yet.

Matt, Post away with the pessimism, it's all part of what we're going through. Posting about it may help us get through the Feck its.

My wife is behind me on my quit, and has even stopped herself, for the most part, she may have one if we go out with friends, but that's about it. Thankfully she doesn't push the AL, even though she would like a drinking buddy too. She has told me, "only you know if you can have another drink or not".
Good lord, saw this ad on TV the other day. Sure hits home here, a 15 second spot. Campbell's Tomato Soup TV Spot, 'Real Real Life: Headache' - iSpot.tv.

Stay strong all.

[Datima]

Wow! I thought I was so clever disguising my drink with food products! One time i put cat food, a carton of milk and wine on the conveyor. I thought well.......the lonely wino cat lady has arrived!!! Oh dear God......

[Datima]

Bravo!!! I can't imagine....but I am going to start to imagine......great job!

[KENSHO]

It's a new day, feeling more positive than yesterday. No, Mr. Vervill, I can't think of one single scenario that alcohol has made better.

I can relate Lady Liberty! Some of the first part seems to be muscle and just doing whatever it takes to get through it - even if you don't feel like a million bucks. That seems to come with a little time - but it does come! Have you looked through the toolbox for ways to beat the cravings - distraction, urge surfing, eating chocolate (sounds like you have that one down - it worked for me too!!), filling up on AF drinks... Keep going!

[j-vo]

I have two of HALT...Angry and Tired. Just frustrated with myself and thinking I have to be over anxiety for good, and when it comes, my body loses its energy and and I get really tired and angry with myself. This would have been a drinking day for me, but right now, I'm going to accept that I'm not perfect, and still have bouts of the ugly anxiety, and since I'm cranky, I'm gonna watch something for a short while and hit the sack. G'night.