Newbies Nest

[All done drinking]

Lil-bit, I've never thought of giving 9 months AF that term, how creative! Keep nurturing that baby and keep us posted with your parenting tips!

~Addy

[Overit-still]

UGH! I had a great post, but lost it :cuss: Anyway, have a great day everyone!

[KENSHO]

I was looking back and saw in my very first post that I included this, written in 2007:

I want to get fucked up
Float, sail through space;

Notes of liquid music
Sound the rhythm of escape



I want to feel the fuzz

The known numb, a tease

Pressure finds an outlet

And rhythm is release



Discord sounds appealing
With the filter of a sip

Red, thick wine
Fill my mouth and stain my lips

I remember those days… with a 2-yr. old and the stress of running a new business. Feeling absolutely and totally spent at 8pm each night - yet feeling like the work was not done. I remember writing this, sitting in front of my computer late at night with a hefty buzz - totally reveling in feeling fucked up. I remember when booze felt warm and fuzzy and comforting and relieving. And I did it every night. For awhile I thought I deserved this - after all, everyone else I knew and respected “needed a drink” after a hard day.

The problem is that 9 years later, I don’t get that buzz any more. Must have used up all my “buzz” for this lifetime, because one or two doesn’t do anything for me but make me feel foggy, tired, irritable and lost - and I am unwilling to go to 4+ drinks because it makes me feel so nauseous. So where does that leave me and alcohol? Nowhere. Two ain’t cutting it, 4 is not an option - so nothing sounds about right.

I struggle seeing so many people around me drink, because it brings up those old thoughts that alcohol is relieving. I feel like such a dog - my tail wags with excitement when I remember that I used to like drinking and what it used to do for me.

SO I thought I’d rewrite the above:

Red, thick wine
Such promises unkept
Provocative and dangerous
You still flirt with me, except

Numb is not so pleasant
Discord… unappealing
Every time you fill my mouth
I gulp down what you’re stealing

I want to feel alive -
Sip life with senses full
No more fuzz, no more escape
I reject your pull.

[j-vo]

Like! Kensho.:love: You're surrendering because al offers nothing good anymore.

[Guitarista]

Hop over to the other side pardner.

Worry, stress, anxiety, frustration, all totally overrated and 24/7 'gifts' courtesy of booze. Millions of boozers can't be wrong.

Yo Lilbit. Congratulations on 9 mths! Wow!

Yo Kensho. Question: Is your job taking you away from yourself? i.e. your life's purpose, path? Does it align with who you are, your true self? (big questions from the young fella from the south)

Wishing all a happy, healthy weekend. If you've decided to ditch the grog, you are a superhero!

The weekend aint no front row ticket to no boozeville see?

[lifechange]

Love the rewrite, Kensho!!

Big Congrats on 9 months, Lilbit!!

I'm heading to bed and looking forward to an early, Un-hung morning!

[Overit-still]

Kensho, that's beautiful.

Lilbit-9 months! You deserve your newborn! I too have a little one to take care of, my AL mind. Here's how our conversation goes every morning.

me "ok, now be a big girl and take your pill" (antabuse)
AL pouting, and stomping my feet "I don't wanna, what if I want to drink later?"
me "Just go ahead and take your pill and we'll discuss it later"
AL I take my pill, stomp, pout, stick my tongue out at me, and flip me off.

Obviously there is no discussion later because I've taken my pill.

Just need to learn those new habits all over again. Just have to remember why I need to quit.

[available]

Happy 9 months lil, it gets easier around this time, not as many mind games which is a blessing.

Great work Overit, if we let those al thoughts get to us we are gone. God i remember the times i drove to the bottleshop, stopped, reversed, drove away, went back again. A vicious circle literally but i didnt give in, i could not, i had way too much to lose. Happy to say those days are just memories.

All the kids went out last night to a 21st. I was invited but being with young ones drinking was a favourite past time for me so i declined going. Why be tempted when i could have some ME time at home. I did have a fleeting thought of "oh i am home alone, i could have a drink, havent had one in two years, no one would know". Why the hell would i want to do that and promptly shut that al thought down. I have no desire to drink now but i still have thoughts.

A big day tomorrow, Roberts commitment ceremony and Ed Sheeran with two of the children. A sad but happy day as Roberts life is nearing the end. I can happily say that i have been on this journey with him completely sober.

Take care

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Twas a decent day, even got some holiday decorating done AND purchased a Christmas tree (which is still sitting in the back of the truck, ha ha).

Ava, good choice to skip the 'kiddie party'. You are showing your maturity now
I hope Robert's ceremony goes well, so great that he has your eternal support.

Overit, start working on some gratitude thinking - makes this journey a whole lot more pleasant

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!!

Lav

[j-vo]

Ava, That's wonderful Robert has had you completely sober and present for him. What a gift that you've given and he's received. Enjoy Ed Sheeran. I really like his music.

Over it, good to see you in the nest. I like Lav's idea of gratitude. It takes a lot of rewiring our brains, and I have a long way to go, too. I'm an oldie newbie, just like you, and I'm grateful you're back and working towards sobriety. We can change our lives one day at a time.

Have a good night.

[Guitarista]

Hi y'all,

Good to see you Overit. Gratitude thinking rawks.

Ava, all the best to Robert and partner, and to yourself for tomorrows big gig. Regard's to Ed.

L8tr g8trs.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

It's a freezing but sunny morning in my end of the nest
I have so much to do I can't even explain. Plus my daughter & her family just said they want to come visit today. No time for me to get into trouble today. What's everyone else up to today??

Make it a great AF day everyone!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Yo Kensho. Question: Is your job taking you away from yourself? i.e. your life's purpose, path? Does it align with who you are, your true self? (big questions from the young fella from the south)

Yes!

[j-vo]

Lav, I know in the MWO world, we're almost neighbors. I let my pup out this morning, and just reveled in the brisk sunshine. Nice way to start Saturday morning, unhung.

More of the same for me today. Have to work concession stand and afterwards, watch another game. I'm excited for the day, as I feel good and got great sleep last night. That would not have been the same for me other years. I'd probably have to take a two hour nap (I may just take a one hour nap because I DO LOVE NAPS), then, because hangover just suck, I'd do my duties feeling at 35 percent. Ooh. No thank you. Grateful for this day.
Have a good one, All.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Lil Miss Lil - Congratulations on 9 months sober. What a fantastic birth announcement. Thanks for hanging around the nest with your positive humor and support. You'll make a great parent!

Kensho - great re-work of that poem. I've been working on ways to get that good buzz without a substance. Sounds like BS, but I would argue that a good, long hug, a trip to the beach, a strenuous hike, and my first Saturday morning coffee give me that warm, fuzzy feeling. Not as immediate, but much more satisfying and long-lasting.

Byrdie, I, too, have taken on a major, risk-filled, terrifying change in my life since getting sober. I am nearly certain I never would have done it when I was drinking. I am so excited and energized, and so very glad I don't have to negotiate around drinking any more.

I have been knocked over by a bad cold. I might have to miss my favorite holiday party of the year at a friend's house tonight, but that sounds appealing to me. Like you, Ava, I like those quiet nights at home.

Happy SOBER Saturday.
Pav