Newbies Nest

[Choices]

Thanks G and ML,
That's the part that's tough... The strength. I dropped hubs off at a party he couldn't back out of. He offered to take the train but I felt like the drive and it was at his bosses house and I was curious what her house looked like... We went through the city and into a suburb known for its eateries and bars etc.., it all looked appealing and I was annoyed at my thoughts. That's the tough part of this slip... Those kinds of thoughts were totally almost gone... So just have to go through all the first week kind of stuff again. But I have no other choice. To go there again in my head how I did the day after is too much to bare. I think what's stopped me for so long from quitting again is the hard work I know it takes. But, and I don't remember the quote... But isn't it something like if it was easy everyone would do it? Or hard work pays off? I kinda had to come back 7 weeks ago because I was hurting my marriage and family. This time, I just hurt myself but learned the hard way... Nope, still can't drink.

[Dutch1988]

I'm sorry about your mom overit, I know a sorry doesn't help too much but thinking of you.

[abcowboy]

Choices, I think you’re being a bit too hard on yourself, but maybe that’s what you think you need to make your quit stick, but don’t do it for too long, you are worth more than you think you are at this moment.

Byrdie and I have the same stance on alcohol, there is no reason/excuse big enough to pick up that first drink! The sooner we accept that, the easier our journey will become. You can dress it up with all sorts of medical or psychological terms, but we are who we are, alcoholics! That will never change. And call it what you may, slip or relapse, but either way, you wanted that 1 drink, or 10 drinks, more than you wanted a sober life. It was your “choice”. You’re on Day 3 now, and that’s fantastic! And it sounds like you’re starting to really understand that you have to want to do this for you. Don’t worry, your hubby and daughter will also reap huge benefits from your choice to live a sober life, but do it for you.

And I agree with you, anytime one of us picks up again we should be right back here telling everybody that nothing good came from it, how it devastated us. Stories of what alcohol does to us are great reminders of what alcohol is really like, that nothing good comes from drinking.

I’m going to share something that another member and I have been talking about via pm’s, that a lot of the time we just get the “f*ck it all” attitude and reach for a drink. As I said to this member, yep, I’ve been there, done that, just “f*ck it all” and went out and got drunk. The problem is, the “it all” is still there the next day, even though we thought we “f*cked it” All I did was prove to myself that drinking never solves anything, never has, never will!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Overit - wishing you and your family strength and comfort. I feel like the death of a loved one is the ultimate test for sobriety. I would want to drink, but I know I would want also to go through it sober - with a clear head.

A friend offered me some edible marijuana the other day "to take the edge off" some anxiety I was having. I declined, although it sounded good at the time. I said that I wanted to go ahead and get through the feelings so I could continue to build the capacity to do so. She didn't really understand, but the cool part was that I realized I meant it.

JDG - I'm glad you could talk with your son, and that you ended it on a good note. Communication is key!

Choices- You can get back there. Thanks for sharing your story. When I get the wayward thoughts it is stories like yours that keep me focused. The power of a community.

Ava - Wow, don't those cravings make you mad? I thought we were OVER that, right? You ARE going through so much. Wonderful that your kids can be there to help you as you're doing so much to help everyone else. We're here for you as always, sending you strength through the ether.

I have another jam packed weekend. Perhaps I should re-listen to that boundaries Bubble Hour? I think I'll be ok - I might "get sick" for a party I'm supposed to attend tonight. Seems like too much, and while I love the hosts, the party is always so giant that I don't get to talk to them anyway. Netflix is calling...

El - Sorry you'll have to leave Mozart - will you still get to visit? A place in the country sounds great to me right now. How is your thumb feeling?

Hi to everyone else.

Happy SOBER Saturday, Nest.
Pav

[Overit-still]

Good morning! Waking up to my first morning without my mom. Interesting thoughts running through my head. Good to see everyone checking in. I actually have a party tomorrow that i declined weeks ago AND it's a sober party, still know the atmosphere would breed cravings. Snowy day and in laws. Choices, do you have a link to your story?

[Byrdlady]

Good afternoon, Nesters.
AbCowboy, you are so right, there is just NOTHING more important than my quit. Of all the things that seem to be out if my control, this one isnt. (Just as long as I dont drink the first one.)

Stay strong everyone, all you gotta do is get thru this day. Byrdie

[ssd858]

Overit - my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs.

[j-vo]

Hi All,

Ava, I'm glad you posted that, as I think we all need to know, no matter how much time we have, we always have to be on guard. These thoughts can come creeping back, and to be aware and focused on what we need to do will always be necessary to maintain our sobriety.

I get worried now, when I see people having slips or relapses, that if it happened to them, it can happen to me. I worry that I'm not doing 'enough' and I worry that if I feel like it's not hard in one way or another, why? Am I missing something? But then again, I'm not putting myself in situations where it would be hard. I'm not going to bars or parties. I'm not even going out to dinner, something my husband and I love to do. I think right now, it would remind me too much of what I used to do, and part of it was enjoyable. Those first two before we ate dinner. But I have to be honest. I didn't care about the food much, and I didn't want to eat too much so as to lose my whole buzz. So right now, I'm not going to go out to dinner, but I don't want that to last forever because I really love a good meal on a Saturday night.

Have a good Saturday night.

[kuya]

Hi Nesters,

I haven't been posting here much this last couple weeks. It seems you guys do such a good job supporting each other.

Sorry to read about your mum Overit, my condolences.

One realisation that made (makes) a huge difference to my life is that I am NOT an alcoholic with a life to manage but a NORMAL human being with a problem with alcohol.

I have no issue with the word but the effect on people by defining themselves as the problem can be huge.

If an 'alcoholic' relapses they have 'failed'....it is huge , they can feel devastated and worthless.

If a normal person with an alcohol problem drinks it is serious, but does not devastate.

I quit smoking 8months ago. I smoked for 44 years, 2 packs a day.

It was my primary addiction and it was harder than quitting drinking, which was very hard but smoking was truly a nightmare.

Smoking was doing just as much harm to me and my life health wise and financially.(? More)

No one would have referred to me as a SMOKEAHOLIC though.

I am overweight....but I am not a FOODAHOLIC either.

I am a human being with problems I solve in the best way I can, whilst giving and getting the support of other human beings.

I am NOT my addictions. And neither are any of you.

[idefineme]

Could somebody tell me what HSM is? I saw it in the Toolbox, NS was talking about it, but I don't have a clue what it is. TIA ~ idef

[Choices]

Hi everyone, I'm just checking in. I'm in a really bad mood. But want to stay connected. And want to thank you all so much for all the support. I think the hard on myself part is all coming from the effects of alcohol and how it depresses me... and all the thoughts, suggestions, and opinons I appreciate. I don't feel judged. So just wanted to say thanks. Jvo, I know slipping and relapse are scary.. but you are doing so well, and I think if you focus on that it will be all that you need. It seams to me you are doing enough. We obviously need words to communicate how we are dealing with stuff.. and research.. all all the tools, beliefs.. etc.. semantics if you will. I think as far as I am feeling today I am on day 3. I have experience at long term sobriety 4 years, and at short term... (1 week, 1 month, not reaching 3 months... ) That's all just in my head to keep track of where I am. For someone else Day 1 is long, a week is exceptional.. etc... We are all different, and the effects of alcohol have some commonalities but.. yeah.. I think that's my point. That's why a community is so helpful.. We all have a common goal. Day 3 is day 3... it feels the same as any day three for me.. not one of the better days for my brain.

[Choices]

Overit.. my story is just in the personal journal section under keeping track of where I am... I also changed my identity because I forgot my password. But it is still here I was 'choice" and came here in August 2010. Were you over-it then with a mini mouse on your profile or was that someone else I'm thinking of? I feel for you during this time of sadness. Take good care of yourself.

[KENSHO]

Me too,me too, checking in. Drive to the foothills to cut a tree at friends and was handed a hefty shot if whiskey upon arrival. Shame on me for not having a plan on this one... Because it shook me a little. I just said "on no , thanks, not for me!" (With a smile). Headed to marg place for dinner, but I have a plan there to get their mango daqueri virgin - that are yummy, not going to give up on this new found me. sorry can't read more now, but stay strong all. AL is such a liar.

[Guitarista]

Could somebody tell me what HSM is? I saw it in the Toolbox, NS was talking about it, but I don't have a clue what it is. TIA ~ idef

Hello Sunday morning. A public orf the booze challenge blog. Have a gr8 night IDM

[Choices]

Well done Kensho. I hate just being handed a drink! Just holding it makes me insecure and dizzy. But you handled it like a champ. I need to find a virgin mango sounds heavenly. AL is a liar! That is for sure!! Off to the botanical gardens for me now. I'm charging my battery for my camera so I can take some nice photos with my SLR. I've not touched it since I got an iphone. So excited to get back into photography for the day. I'll post some photos later tonight.