Newbies Nest

[Choices]

Congrats KENSHO on two weeks! I'm on your coat tails.. Action girl way to go. A puzzle is a great idea. My day 3-4 tough. I did have a thought tonight.. Not a craving.. But it passed.. About as fast as it came in. I'm so tired today. I took a massive nap in the afternoon while my girl watched some cartoons. I don't know if she slept too.. But if she did I'm in for a late night. I'm feeling pretty relaxed.. So I'm grateful for that. Made chilli from random ingredients I had in the fridge. Threw in some left over quinoa.. Let's see if hubs.. Mr steak and potato notices. Making diner is sometimes a trigger.... For me, once I have that sorted I'm usually okay. Good luck to everyone and sending strength to anyone struggling.

[Guitarista]

Hello nesters. Cool stuff on 2 weeks Kensho and 7 days Choices. I like hearing of naps. Especially with younger folk. 2 early 20's blokes were talking near me the other day and one said he likes to take a nap after a long bike ride. I had to chuckle. Lightweights! Makes me feel less old when feeling a little slow after a long run lol. Out to see some bands tonight. Geez, fair few Xmas drunks around and half of the fella's looked really stupid. I mean childlike blubbering bores. Did I look like that? Me? Really?! One fella kept apologising for standing in front of me, next to me, anywhere near me and kept offering to buy me drinks. His 10 second silent pause was funny as the cogs in his head slowly turned trying to fathom that I wasn't drinking booze. Good night had by all though. Take care everyone. Hope you 're doing ok Ava.

[LilBit]

Woohoo for Choices and Kensho. :lotsasmiles:

Tonight's our company party. If I go, I'll show up 1-2 hours into it, order a "Pellegrino twist" which sounds like an AL drink but isn't, and enjoy hanging with my coworkers in a relaxed atmosphere. Somebody may wake up with regrets tomorrow but it won't be me!

Have a lovely Thursday, all.

[Lavande]

Good Thursday morning Nesters!

Lil, enjoy your Christmas party knowing you won't be suffering afterwards like some others, ha ha!

I am at my granddaughter's house this morning watching Daniel Tiger, oh boy.
It's a real pleasure to have this special time together. Grateful for the clear head.

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[abcowboy]

“Now, granted, some toxic people you just can't get rid of. I am talking about family. They are kind of with you throughout your life. You can, however, distance yourselves from them. Talk to them only when necessary. Take those steps to protect yourself but you can't get rid of them entirely. Well you could I guess. People have in the past. But personally, I could not. Even though they could tell me extremely hurtful things (like disown me for example), they are still family. However, in that sense, I just distance myself. Build up my defences again, make sure I am in a position where I can be around said family members and then distance myself again. It is about self preservation. And not giving a shit when something happens in their life because they shouldn't expect anything from you judging on how they treated you in the past. So, in terms of dealing with toxic people who you can't necessarily push out of your life, adopt the 'I don't give a shit' mentality. It helps. And works.”

Last night was the first time in 11 months that the thought of drinking crossed my mind, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that drinking caused the above. What you just read was part of a post that my daughter wrote in her online blog and it was about me. A nice thing to come home to and read eh! There is a story and history behind those words, but those words are the end result of what drinking can do for you. But I knew that I deserved it because of the things that I said and did to her a year ago while drunk. If I could take it all back I would, but words said, drunk or sober, can cut like a knife, and may never heal….

I printed that last night and put it in my wallet, a reminder of what my friend alcohol did for me. If you’re struggling about quitting, think you need to reach rock bottom, trust me, you don’t need too. Stop now before you have to read something like I did! And trust me, if you keep drinking, you will read words like the ones I read last night, it will happen.. I used to wonder about the old-timers in my AA group who said it’s easy to talk the talk, but do you have what it takes to walk the walk? I wish now that I would have walked the walk before the bottom reached up to me.

You can print those words as well if you like, and when you feel like you have the best excuse in the world to drink, imagine yourself reading those words said to you by your spouse, son, daughter, mom or dad. Maybe that excuse won’t seem important any more…

Where do I go from here? I keep doing what has kept me sober for 11 months, prayer and gratitude. I have a few more things to pray over now, and I have a long way to go to rebuilding the relationship with my daughter that anger and alcohol destroyed, but I won’t give up and I will continue to hope and pray that she will in time, in her own way, forgive me…..

[actiongirl46]

Cowboy - I'm SO sorry this happened to you. How incredibly painful. I also want to THANK YOU for your courage in sharing this with us. A very powerful and sticky reminder that stupid AL can destroy everything so dear. Peace and strength.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Mr G, it is eye opening to see drunk people now. I am flabbergasted at what AL does to us. Getting drunk and partying into the wee hours may be ok for college folks, but is that a good look on us middle-agers? Not so much.

Some months ago, I re-watched those documentaries that are around here, 'Rain In My Heart'. When I first got here, I watched them and thought 'Those people are MUCH worse than I ever was!! Or ever will be! As I watched them as a completely sober person, I had a lot more in common with them than I care to admit. In one documentary, the guy downs a 16 oz cup full of wine in one gulp. I thought that was crazy.... but what is the difference in that and going into my closet and taking 7 big chugs of vodka out of the bottle? Really, the only difference between me and those folks was TIME. I was approaching stage 3 alcoholism, and these people were stage 4. It was only a matter of time before I WAS THEM. Of course, you couldn't have told me that then.

I HATE ALCOHOL. :turd2:

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[actiongirl46]

Thank you Overit! Day 7 is going to be a good one. I may do two Christmas puzzles this year, ha ha.

[Quit wining]

Thank you for sharing your experience ABCowboy. It shows just how powerful the beast can be, even to a rock like you. What a great reminder/warning for the rest of us.

32+ years ago I quit smoking. My son, 6 at the time, drew a picture of me without a cigarette. He wrote "Thank you for not smoking Daddy" I carried that with me for a long time and looked at it often.

Funny, I used to tell people that I still consider myself a smoker. Like an alcoholic who hasn't had a drink.

I'm an alcoholic but I don't drink.

As Actiongirl said, Peace & Strength Cowboy!

[JackDanielsGirl]

Morning all,

Lots of good posts here today. I really enjoy reading about all our accomplishments. AL even though man made is really straight from the depths of hell, because that is what is makes our life when we use it. It has only been a few weeks since my last quit and I feel so much better being able to focus on my family and myself and NOT when and where is my next drink coming from. Like some I have read today, I was given an ultimatum, either quit or lose my family. I am not sure what is different this time, other than I am using the resources I have learned. It is sad when you are sick (alcoholic) and know there are meds (people, groups, strategies) to help you get better but refuse to take them. That is how AL has effected me. NOW I HAVE KICKED AL OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

Now off to take Dad to his procedure appt.

Have a great and AF day.
JDG

[j-vo]

Thank you, Cowboy, for sharing. That does make me think about what Al can and has done to my relationships. I hope that, with time, your relationship with daughter will heal.

Checking in on day 59. It's been a hectic week, and I took time for myself today. My sick days are adding up, but right now, I don't care. I'm more important than a job. I felt as though I was struggling too much these last few days, and I didn't want to jeopardize my quit, so when I went to find something to iron for work, I decided there was nothing in my closest that I wanted to wear, so I called off. Nice excuse. But, there is no excuse to drink. There are so many reasons not to drink, ever. When I feel overwhelmed, I will take care of myself like I am today (reading a book and watching Netflix). Drinking when feeling like that would only make things 10,000x worse and more. Sleep is good for me. Being away from stress is good for me. No, I can't run away all the time, but I will do it when I can. There's only so much one can endure, and I know my limits. I won't go over these limits, because it'll put me back to where I don't wanna be. So I slept 10 hours last night, watched some of my Netflix this morning, and I'm already feeling better. If I'd have drank last night due to being an emotional wreck, I would be hurting today, even worse than I was yesterday. Way worse. Drinking is not an option. Ever.

[Choices]

Really inspired by all the posts, not enough time to respond.. But grateful to be here.

[available]

Morning nesters

Congrats on all the great achievements on the nest. Xmas time is not an excuse to drink. I do know that when i stopped early December that this month was hell on wheels for me. I had to pull everything i had to not drink but mainly coming on here and reading or walking away from the situations helped. I wonder why now why so many people think they are having a good time when they get drunk. I am glad to back to this thinking rather than wanting a drink to forget.

Sorry about your daughter cowboy, my daughter drifted away from me emotionally and still hasnt fully come back but thats life. I cant beat myself up about it but i can always be here for her. I do know that i wont ever let her down again, as i say to myself now i just cant.

J i am with you today, i am not going to work, i'm done in. Now its focus on me. Robert is in a coma and his sister has said no visitors except family. I feel very sad about this as i have been there with him for 2 years when no one else was but thats life and i have to respect her decision. I had 5 hours with him the other night which was my goodbye. I want to see him but i also want to see him next week and the week after etc etc and that wont happen. I have so many happy memories of our time and as some people have said that it is not right, i have taken on the thought that i have so many good memories, i dont need to watch him die, we can both let go now and move on.

Mum is here so i need to spend some time with her. I have found some sinus's from hell so if its not one thing its another lol. I could also bitch about the heat but i will save that for another post.

I had a chuckle Byrd as i watched those doco's and thought i was never that bad also but i read your story and knew i was never as bad as you were lol. If we can stop drinking anyone can!

[Byrdlady]

What do you all think of meeting in the Chat Box at a certain time? Or maybe several different times?
I'll start by saying nightly at 7 EST. Tonight, I will go over there and see if we can generate some business! Thoughts? B

[Overit-still]

I'll have to check that out B. It is live? Audible?

Ava-I'm so sorry about Robert and that you can't be there with him. That just breaks my heart!

Cowboy, my heart breaks for you too.

I took my pill today for the first day in awhile. They cost $100 per month! although I know that is much cheaper than my drinking it kills me to pay that. So, I cut them in half and now that I have my two weeks will taper off tO every other day or so, just enough to keep them in my system. But this morning, I caught myself counting the days realizing my AL brain was trying to calculate if they were out of my system and how many days was it safe to have a drink. so, I hurried up and popped one in. STUPID AL BRAIN!!!

My in-laws leave on Saturday evening. I love them dearly but would love just a few minutes to myself.

Good afternoon everyone. Have a great day!