Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Hi ADP,
On the outside, our lives do look normal (unless we've overdone it in front of family, friends, co-workers, and that I have done), we have a house, family, friends, work, but we suffer. We suffer because of this toxic substance that doesn't agree with us, and like Pav said, we're not wired to be able to handle it. It may cause feelings of anger, grief, and that we can't be like all the others and have fun with just a few, but if we can get to acceptance that we're just not able to drink, that we can do everything and more that everyone can do except drink, then it's much easier to deal with. Acceptance and surrender. Give up that struggle, that thought that you can fight and win. I can tell you it's never worked for me, ever. It's a relief when you give up the fight. Sometimes I struggle and I know those thoughts are just thoughts and I let them go. I don't have to act on them. I'm still trying to absorb this after many years of trying to recover from alcohol addiction, and I'm going to take it one day at a time. Try it. One day, hour, minute at a time. Try to read lots on here, as the support is phenomenal. Great to meet you.

[Byrdlady]

Happy Friday, fellow nesters!
It's my day off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So far:
Woke up at 4:30 thinking of all the things I wouldn't be doing today (:eyes, then hubs hollered up at 6:30 (my usual wake up) because he forgot I was taking today off. I got up and so far, I've done a proposal and I have 2 conference calls! I am going to The Hobby Lobby if it kills me! I am going to wander around the store and look at all the things I'm always too busy to check out! I also have a coupon, so there'll be no stopping me this afternoon at 1. Yes, I have scheduled it, is that wrong?

Actiongirl....crossword puzzles, SERIOUSLY? Who can fill those things out? I want to throw my hands up and run out of the room!! I guess I only have the vocabulary of a Reeces Monkey I was on a flight once and sitting next to this 80 year old lady who pulled one out. (Puzzle, not a monkey). She started filling it out IN PEN! IN PEN?!!! The arrogance! So I pulled out the flight magazine's crossword puzzle to impress her. I got stuck on one of the early ones....8 letters across. The clue was: Bear. So I smugly put in GRIZZELY. (as we Southerners say). As it turns out, Grizzly isn't 8 letters and those 2 Z's disrupted forward progress for the remainder of my efforts. (The word was TOLERATE). I put the darn thing away in disgust before the lady could tell what happened and looked out of the window the rest of the flight. I try to play to my strengths and crosswords ain't one of them!!! My hat is off to you!!

It's only Friday, nesters! We are not entitled to anything except living the best life we can today! It's not a ticket to Boozeville, just another day! Stay strong! You will be so happy you did! Byrdie

[actiongirl46]

Happy Friday! Byrdie - I mis-typed, I meant our Christmas jigsaw puzzle, oops. We do like cross-words though so maybe I'll pick up some of those today too. I can put it in my DISTRACTION BUCKET. Just like a little kid, activities to do when I need my mind to be somewhere else and occupied.

Welcome back to ADP and ss858! Great job on being here BEFORE Jan 1. Get ahead of the game.

I was watching Barbara Walters last night interviewing Bradley Cooper. She asked him about giving up alcohol in his 20s (he is 40 now). She asked, was it hard? He said no. He said he would never have been talking to her if he hadn't given it up. He said he would not have been present for his dad when he passed away a few years ago. He was so positive about what not-drinking has given him over the years. There was not a hint of guilt or shame, just I gave it up and I got so much more in return.

I am grateful for a clear head today. Looking to put Day 5 away later tonight.

[JackDanielsGirl]

AVA - So sorry about Robert's family shutting you out. Try to remember the good times. You have a good attitude about this. Peace and comfort to you.

ADP - Failure is not an option, if we want any kind of life. We are all failures. I have tried to quit so many times over the last five years it has become a joke. I am still early is this last effort about 3 weeks, but that is 3 weeks sober with my family that I can remember and not wake up the next day wondering how much of a fool I made of myself. This is something we have to take day by day. Sometimes I had to take it second by second and still do. Try the toolbox for helpful tips. When the urge to drink or the self destructive thoughts start or you think they might, GET on here, call a friend, read about addiction (this helped me to understand the cycle of alcoholism). If I can do this so can YOU. Don't give up before the miracle happens, as I have done so many times. Take it easy on yourself and work just as hard to quit and you did to drink. I look forward to getting to know you, we are the same age and I also am retired.

SSD - have you thought about looking into professional help for intervention, if that is not an option, talk to your family about getting together and writing her letters or telling her how her actions are affecting everyone, including herself. This helped me. Offer her a ton of support and love. Find out some info on nearby rehabs as an option. Let her know by your own experience how good life can be without AL. As a last ditch effort, explain to her the horrible, painful effects on life that chronic AL abuse creates, like cirrohis, pancreatic cancer, liver cancer. I have watched my brother, brother-in-law and friend die from AL effects and it was very painful and difficult to watch. I hope this helps. Good Luck, I will be praying for her and you and your family.

Lazy day for me here, hubs came in last night (he works out of state 6 weeks or more at a time) and I spent ALL day at the hospital with my dad yesterday, so I probably wont even get out of my PJ's today. Plan on checking in a lot today, you know about idle hands, no friend of mine.

Have a blessed day all.
JDG

[See the Light]

Dam..made it almost 6 weeks and for some stupid reason had a few at a holiday party last night..since it was just a few, I was tempted to say it was " no big deal"...but I realize it is always a big deal if you don't have control... I miss the control I used to have..I need to get that back...anyway, I'm back to working on the old techniques that helped me before..I hope everyone else is staying strong and having a joyous holiday season.

[NoSugar]

You were very active here before, STL, when you had some success. For me, a little daily maintenance keeps my thinking where I want it to be. All the best, NS

[See the Light]

Agreed.. routine is key.

Thanks NS

Been re-reading the Toolbox and also that great thread on the 3 Ps

..and as a side note, saw this article come out today -

Why alcohol makes your brain feel good…and very bad

Why alcohol makes your brain feel good…and very bad

[available]

Morning nesters.

ADP take baby steps each and everyday with al. do the basics and focus on yourself and healing. eat what you want, sleep when you want and be on here. I knew if i did not reach out for help to people who knew exactly what i was going through then i would fail. Note that that the majority of long timers log on here daily to be accountable still. This to me is why they are still sober after so many years. My accountability is MWO and i spent so many days, hours, weeks, years drinking that logging onto mwo is nothing in keeping my sobriety.

SSD, i am so sorry about your sister. I had a brother who died from al and we tried, we really did but as sad as it is at the end of the day it is her choice if she stops or keeps going. As you yourself would know, we have to get to that place where we have given up the fight daily and want to heal. but in saying that.........

I am going through some issues with my 22 year old son and drinking. I can see it, i see him drink daily and i feel powerless but not that powerless that i am moving the prick to his brothers who lives on a property so he can get sober. Oops did i say that. I am annoyed, i have so much on my plate at the moment and he was supposed to organise a friend to take him but oh it fell through and he forgot to tell me so today i have to drive 2 1/2 hours there to drop him off and my mum. i wont let my mum down and she is excited to go. Said son on other hand stated he doesnt want to stress me out as i have so much on my plate. Apparently we can go next weekend. i did state that xmas was next friday and he said we celebrate xmas another day. Excuses, justification, not wanting to be with al, i get it. My other son is furious for putting me through this but he is an addict himself (drug free 3 years). i said to just be gentle with him, we know what addiction is and what it does and we know we will get him through this hopefully. He will realise how much better life is without al and he has given up for 3 months when i first stopped. He is scared but i am more scared if he stays. I feel guilty, i feel alone but i will do everything in my power to free him of fucking al. i want him to have the life he deserves and i know he really really wants this. We have talked and he is so proud of me and i will be so proud of him. As we all know the "never" drinking again is scary shit and he is 22 but i hope for the next 50 years he realises how good it is to be sober and has no regrets that he should have listened to his mum, the ex alkie, the one who made it to the other side.

Robert is still alive, i am at peace, i dont want to be away from melbourne though atm.

well off i go to wake up the drunk and watch him struggle to pack and get it together. I am truly grateful those days are over and i cant imagine how the hell i ever kept this family together drunk or hungover daily. oh i didnt, he had a problem with al at 18 and i chose to ignore it as i was too busy drinking my life away.

Sorry for the rant but as pav also knows we need to talk, vent and work our way out of our stress, its a better option than drinking.

Take care xx

[Guitarista]

Hi nesters. Ava, today's forecast is 40c. Not gr8 driving weather. Next week cooler. Don't forget plenty of extra water for you folks and the car in case you get stranded somewhere in the heat. I know ur organised , just sticking my beak in. All the best with the young bloke.

[Overit-still]

MAE nesters. Just saying hi :thumbsup:

[daisy45]

Ava, you have your hands full....hope your son takes the help. At least he can look at you and your son and know that life is worth more sober than drunk. He has an advantage by having you both in his life.
Thinking of you.....take care

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Ava and STL, sorry about your family members. It is so hard to see family members struggle, especially kids who exhibit behaviors we think we somehow passed along to them. I'm glad you're sober to help him.

I have to pick up my son late from a party tonight. I might have said no another night, and he would have gotten home somehow - I would have wanted my drinks instead. I am grateful to be present for him.

Off to get dinner and check in with the family.

Happy SOBER Friday,
Pav

[ItsJustMe]

Hey Dudes!

I’m kicking Day 6 on into the driveway… It hasn’t been too bad this week. I’d say day 2 and 3 were the absolute worst of the bunch. Day 3 just about pushed me over the edge. Between a really crappy day at work, cravings, and the oldest dog crapping on the bedroom floor I was ready to make friends with Mr. Bacardi again. But some awesome folks on MWO talked me off the ledge. Tomorrow is going to be even more tough I think. It’s Saturday, it’s Mrs. IJM weekend to work at the hospital, and I’ll be all by myself until about 9PM. I plan to try and keep totally busy tomorrow. Here’s my to-do list so far:

- My usual morning at the gym
- Got lots of presents to wrap.
- maintenance work to do on my salt water reef tank
- Major garage cleaning
- Last minute Christmas shopping

That should keep me pretty well occupied for most of the day! And in between I plan to be on MWO reading posts…..

Hope everyone has an awesome rest of the evening!

IJM

IJM Words of Wisdom:
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast..."

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Ava, oh boy!
Just know that we are all thinking of you & hoping for the best possible outcome for all of you! Take care of yourself too :hug:

If you've fallen out of the nest for a night or several nights just remember that it's never too late to hop back in & get restarted. Keep doing that & eventually your quit will stick. You just have to want to be sober more than you want to drink - sounds simple but I know how difficult it is to get into that frame of mind. Once you do though, nothing can stop you

Byrdie, I hope you got everything you wanted from the craft store & are busy crafting your brains out, ha ha!!!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Hi Peeps. Too tired to read - just sayin' good night. Doing fine here - but realizing the impact overcommitting has had on my drinking career. Time for changes.

Nighty Night.