Newbies Nest

[jane27]

Ava, I am so sorry. You gave him the greatest gift of all by standing beside him and being present with him despite the heaviness of you both knowing his life was winding down. Bless you and Robert too. xoxo

[Choices]

Condolences Ava

[actiongirl46]

Condolences Ava. Life is just not fair sometimes and good friends are hard to come by. Take care of yourself.

Day 7 is here. I never ever would have done this without the strength of the awesome people on this thread. Thank you. Here were some "aha's" I had this week:
1) I haven't done 7 days in a row since my children were infants over 13 years ago
2) Today was one of the first Sundays I haven't been hungover IN CHURCH and so filled with GSR I could hardly concentrate. For any newbies, that is Guilt, Shame and Remorse.
3) Except from between 3 and 10pm when I am a touch edgy, I am filled with a new calm instead of my hyper brain. That window is shrinking . . . today it was 5pm
4) My marriage has been much smoother and more real this week
5) I feel closer to my children and am not running around like a maniac, most likely doing nothing but keeping my glass full
6) I've lost 3 pounds
7) What I thought were the beginnings of hot flashes . . . were not. More likely wine withdrawals . . .yuck.

And those are just a few things. I am not as scared but still can't think too far ahead. Physically, I feel really good. Mentally, still somewhat fragile and need to keep re-reading my plan and learning from this site.

Thanks all!!! I so appreciated your support this week.

[Byrdlady]

ActionGirl, congratulations on 7 full days!
Nesters, please join me in presenting this 2-Cheeked Salute! Ready, set, drop em!
:butt::butt::butt:
No Ifs, Ands, or Butts, those first 7 are the toughest! Im so happy for all the improvements you are already seeing! I thought my night sweats were 'hormonal' but they went away the first week and I havent had one since. I blamed a lot of things on various factors, but so many turned out to be a direct result of AL. Go figure. To think of how long I stood up for that stuff! Ugg!
We are SO proud of you, keep up the great work!
ItsJust, how you doing over there? Hope all is well! B

[actiongirl46]

THANK YOU Bydie!! I have been working really hard for that salute!! Even told hubs about it . . . I ACCEPT! Now on to the next goal - for me, it is just looking to getting through Day 8 : )

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

It's been a wonderful but exhausting weekend & I'm really feeling it now.
I'm even a bit ahead in the getting ready for Christmas dept ~ nice.

Actiongirl, CONGRATS on your 7 AF days :welldone:
That was the hardest part for me but once I got that far I knew I was on the right path. Stick with us now!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest! Hang on tight

Lav

[KENSHO]

Howdy all! Those night sweats were awful! WTG Actiongirl on 7 days - great accomplishment! I plan to read up a bit tonight. We had SUCH a good time at our concert last night - loved the music. Hubs got pretty toasty, and we had a few discussions about drinking and I told him how much I thought of being substance free - that I thought it was pretty awesome and he wondered if I thought he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. All very interesting. And it was great to be sober through it all - really enjoyed myself!

Ava, hugs and love dear. Nothing I can say or do, but I am thinking about you.

Sorry for what I have missed here - been with family and not felt like i have had my usual blocks of time. Will be sure to stay connected and participate. It's getting easier to be and love being AF.

[Overit-still]

Sustance

We had SUCH a good time at our concert last night - loved the music. Hubs got pretty toasty, and we had a few discussions about drinking and I told him how much I thought of being substance free - that I thought it was pretty awesome and he wondered if I thought he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Does he? Mine does.

Glad you had a good time. Good to see you Kensho! Have a great night!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

If my wife made a comment to me about my AL-use (or now former use),

That's the ticket, IQ. Your former use. I am sticking close this holiday season. I've already been given two bottles of champagne and countless offers of drinks. Good thing I don't drink. So crazy how centered around booze our culture is.

I am listening to season 2 of the Serial podcast - about Bowe Bergdahl. There is a scene when the Taliban are calling him drunk, but Sarah says they call all Americans drunk because they've never actually seen what a drunk person acts like. It stuck with me because I was wondering what it would be to live in a culture like that. NOT that I want to be Taliban, mind you...

Anyway - I'll keep turning down those offers, and thinking of my pals here in the nest because I don't drink.

Pav

[actiongirl46]

"Actiongirl- very thoughtful comment,particularly as it relates to our loved-ones, especially if they care about us (including our sobriety). Seems like a really fine line between "critical" vs. "accountable" vs. simply loving and concerned about us?"

Thanks IQuit . . . good catch. I needed to see that especially since he was the one that said hey, enough, on the AL. Although I know he is right, little resentful thoughts can creep in. Your comments are helping me see the "loving and concerned" part in better focus. Thanks!!

[All done drinking]

Hey G Man,

Have insomnia so thought I'd peruse the boards a bit and noticed your post. Also noticed someone bumped Relapse in Retrospect so maybe that's a good thread to read when you're struggling.

~Addy

[Choices]

Congrats Actiongirl!

I love your list! And thought I was having the onset of early menopause myself! I had no idea the hot flash was withdraw.. I'd never heard of GSR.. Until your post... And how you were talking of edgy, hyper brain, and running around like a maniac... And the whole time frame. I was this way! It's a cycle isn't it? You just explained it so well. I'm so happy for you to get 7 days after 13 years without a break of a whole week. That is no easy task. You sound great.

[Guitarista]

Thx Addy. Ok now .

[ItsJustMe]

Mornin’ Dudes!

Just rolled out of bed to kick off Day 9. At this point the balance has moved far to the other side…. What I mean is, picture a balance scale – on one side is the night cravings and desire to drink. On the other is the good feeling I have in the morning and the sense of pride in my accomplishments. For the first few days AF, the balance was really far to the desire to drink side. I just had a few fleeting thoughts of the “feel good without Al” moments. As I have progressed, the balance has shifted far to the other side. I have an occasional fleeting thought of AL, but it is far outweighed by how great I feel in the mornings (and all day long).

Ok, I didn’t mean to get all philosophical this early in the morning. But it was my first thought when I opened my eyes.

I gave myself a pass from going to the gym this morning. I hit it pretty hard this weekend – according to my fitbit I was close the 15K steps each day. I think a lot of staff at the office are taking this week off so I am hoping for a very quiet and stress free week…. (I can dream can’t I).

Oh well, time to hit the shower and then head to the salt mine!

Have an awesome, AL-Free Day!
IJM

IJM Thought of the day:
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters

Enjoying some coffee & waiting for the sun to make an appearance at some point.

Balance is what it's all about IJM!
Too much work makes us miserable. Too much of anything is not good.

I am heading out for a bit of exercise then working for just a few hours. After that my goal is to finally finish up gift wrapping, yay!

Wishing everyone a balanced & AF day!

Lav