Newbies Nest

[Overit-still]

Plan

Hi all - Its hard to believe it is Day 10 for me. Double digits, woot woot!!

Tomorrow the festivities begin. We will go to my parents for the night and then travel to my sister's house for five nights starting on Saturday. Both locations are huge triggers for me even outside of the holidays. I've been trying not to get too anxious about it and just focus on the day at hand. I've got a plan but, honestly, I'm not feeling real strong. Hubby is though. He told me tonight he is done drinking too as he doesn't think it will work if he drinks around me. I said I just want things to be normal (during the holidays with family) and he said "that normal just didn't work for us. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks." Pretty good, huh? Oh, my AL brain is fighting me hard.

Great job IJM!! Great teamwork Overit!! Thanks for shouting Pav, I NEEDED THAT :happy2:

Action girl, I love that your hubby is on board. Please Please Please get your plan together and don't lose your time that you've worked so hard for.

[lifechange]

Great job, Actiongirl, getting into the double digits..Remember the thoughts are just thoughts. You absolutely don't have to and shouldn't listen to that part of your brain! Your husband sounds like he really wants to support you during this time full of triggers.. LET HIM! Tell him now how important it is for him not to drink these few days.. I know in the past, that I have tried to sabotage my quit, leaving a door open for myself, by convincing my partner that he should drink like normal. It scared me to have him "on my side" because it meant there really wouldn't be any way I could drink... Just in case I changed my mind and "wanted" to. I'm not saying that is what is happening with you, but maybe have a look at it.. We might have to work a bit or very hard to get through the next days, but we will be able to rejoice come the New Year! I keep thinking about how good I'll feel on January 1st... really proud and really free!

[j-vo]

Pav, agree on the "I need a drink" comment. Speaking of drinking, I'm sitting in the airport, and it's 5:40 in my part of the nest. Two people, a son and mother drinking beer. I'm not envious, well it is only 5:40 in the morning, but I looked at them and thought, if they need and want one now to begin their celebration for going away for holidays, then what's the rest of their holiday going to look like? Will they remember it? How will they wake up? I just hope they don't snore on the plane...

Action girl, your husband is awesome! Take the choice off the table and stand strong with him. Just imagine being with your family and having a clear head, really feeling the holiday energy. Eat lots of goodies and drink lots of non al drinks so you don't get thirsty. Take a quick look at the toolbox for some good tips when you get antsy. Whenever you need to, take a break from the happy chaos and sit in the quiet. Just you. Good luck to you.

Congratulations Red!

Dutch, I agree with Lav. I'm not a nurse, but high BP at your young age is something to check out ASAP. Let us know how it goes.

Have a Merry Christmas all. Flying out of the warm weather (in NE US) to SW Florida. This weather is unbelievable, Lav!!

[j-vo]

Oh! One wasn't enough. Onto two beers. They'll def be snoring. . It's all good. I have my earplugs!

[Guitarista]

Oh! One wasn't enough. Onto two beers. They'll def be snoring. . It's all good. I have my earplugs!

Lol Jvo . Safe travels!

The holidays/Xmas/New Years are just another day at life's office. It ain't no front row ticket to no boozeville see. I remember a member Allank saying he made a deal with himself to log on here for 30 mins first if he felt like drinking. Then if after 30 mins he still wanted to drink he could. Not a bad strategy and worked for him. Take it easy

[daisy45]

That is a good deal Mr G.....gonna do that myself!

[lifechange]

Me, too!!! Great strategy, G!

[ItsJustMe]

Oh yeah! Day 12! Maybe I’m on a roll! I just want to see 30 days AF. I have no idea what my plan is after that. But doing it one day at a time with my longer term goal of 30 days is pretty cool.

Last night was a little tough. Just a lot of unplanned and unexpected triggers. A trip to MWO totally took care of it though! After 30 minutes here, the thoughts were totally out of my head for the evening! Seriously! The other cool thing is that I woke up at 6AM with a clear head and a little extra spring in my step. I can imagine what this morning would have been like otherwise.

Byrdy pointed me to a really cool thread- ‘you might be an alcoholic when…’. Great thread. After dinner and everything was done I went back to that tread and spent a long time reading it.

J-vo – beer at 5:30AM? Freaking gross! I seriously can’t imagine that. Good point though – if they are slugging beer at 5AM, what’s the rest of the holiday going to be like for them? I can conjure up a mental picture and it’s not pretty. I’m just glad that none of us will be doing that!!!

When Mrs. IJM gets home at 8PM we have a 5 hour drive ahead of us to my parents house. My kids and their girlfriends are leaving at noon today – I did not want them driving that late – and I sure can’t cram that many people in my truck! I absolutely love Christmas morning at my parents house. I’m 51 years old and still feel like a kid at Christmas. My mom and dad get up early and put all the ‘Santa’ presents under the tree. Then I wake up to the smell of country ham being fried and biscuits being baked and coffee being brewed and the sounds of christmas music throughout the house. It is a truly magical day – and one that I would want to have a totally clear head and be able to remember every last second of it.

I’m sure I will be back before tomorrow but just in case I don’t – I hope everyone here has a blessed and very merry Christmas!

IJM

[lifechange]

Hey, IJM! You're rockin' it with 12 days!!! And 30 is an awesome goal. Isn't it nice to be getting that spring back into your step? I have to say I am grateful every single morning when I wake up to be clear headed, Un-hung, refreshed.. and this is usually around 6 as well.
The days can sometimes be a challenge but, like you, I spend some time here and pull myself out my destructive old ways of thinking and "coping" and "celebrating"...I love the thread you're referring to.
Christmas at your parents sounds wonderful... enjoy the day with them, Mrs. IJM and your kids!

[TJAF]

I had a nice Christmas present to myself yesterday. Went to the Doctor for my 6 month checkup and my blood work was incredibly good! Blood Sugar, Cholesterol, Liver function, Kidney function et. al. My Doc was giddy! Two years ago it was a bloody mess! Ever since I quit the numbers have gotten progressively better. I remember the excuses! I was ready to chalk it up to bad Genes. Couldn't be the bottle of vodka a night! No way! If ever there was a reaffirming moment this was it!

Christmas is tomorrow and the temptation to drink is ever present. Yes, even after two years the thoughts creep into my head like a very bad dream! I love the discussions about a plan. I consciously review how I am going to handle the ever present issue of "Holiday Cheer" every day now. Most of the folks around me have gotten the message but since I have never, (nor will I) publicly acknowledged my alcoholism at work I am still constantly offered a drink, not to mention the several bottles of wine I have gotten as a present. It can be awkward but the thought of drinking still terrifies me enough to not bow to peer pressure.

So with that all said, Let me raise a large tumbler of diet coke and wish you all a very very Merry Christmas!

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

IJM, I'm glad to hear of another family that still has "Santa" presents under the tree. My husband doesn't get it, but I've gotten him to play along. That description of Christmas takes the Grinch right out of me...

Actiongirl - Is there any way you could get out of the trip? Come down with the flu or something? If you are already worried about triggers and you have to spend 5 days there, it could be difficult. I was reading something on the brain and triggers (food related), and I remember something like your brain can only say "no" so many times without eventually caving (unless there is an intervention of some sort that re-sets you). For example, a secretary at my school always puts delicious goodies out. I can walk by 15 times and say no, but given the right set of circumstances, I say yes on the 16th time. Not sure if that makes sense. At the VERY least, come up with an airtight plan with your husband. Pretend put yourself on some medication or something (I always laugh at the antibiotic excuse - I drank through MANY doses of antibiotics in my time). ANYWAY - difficult or not, I know you can do it. Use us as much as you need to.

Thanks for posting that TJAF. I was on blood pressure medicine for several years and got to quit taking it when I quit drinking. Another of the many unexpected benefits...

I will be cooking and cleaning house today. Right now I am looking at my beautiful tree, enjoying my first cup of coffee, and basking in the silence in my house as everyone else is still asleep. I am so VERY grateful that I am not hungover right now...

Pav

Oh, and Lil, keep the trousers up!

[Dutch1988]

I work work on the blood pressure thing, I think I am just sensitive to salt and have to limit it, the pizza/carne asada/fries and nacho pull is strong in me. I used t sit and decimate a box of pretzels, I think I just have to give these up. Funny I am just as resistant to give them up as I was to stop drinking, I am sure I will work on it, but not right now. I am too focused on not drinking through my 1st Christmas.

I remember 3 years ago it was Christmas and my wife and I were watching It's a Wonderful Life, my holiday tradition. I was drinking and had gave it up for about a month that year after going to a seminar but my wedding and bachelor party sucked me back in. I got so angry at the end of the movie sitting there thinking about drinking when I had purposely given it up I walked out on the back patio and through my cup so hard it shattered into several pieces. I stopped drinking for another month till my daughter was born, but I will never forget how disgusted I felt with myself. It wasn't about the amount, it was about the need, the lack of control, the knowing that I was another day older and not a minutiae stronger or smarter. I will be happy to get through tonight's Christmas Eve party at the inlaws and wake up tomorrow more excited than my little girl. I also bought a ridiculously gift for my wife, a new engagement ring and wedding band, for always being there for me. It's a small fortune but I saved a bit on vodka cranberries so I figure it's worth it.

[actiongirl46]

Thank you thank you thank you. My mantra for today and the next week will be from Lav: "Skip the deprivation, we are the lucky ones!" Obviously from my last few posts I'm not quite there YET but I am just going to fake it until I make it.

My plan:
Focus on today, don't project further
Be honest, especially with hubby (thanks Overit)
I love the idea of just letting him support me (thanks Lifechange), I need to let go of some of my independent streak right now, it has not worked in the past
Bring my non-AL drinks
Eat
Stay present and relaxed (thanks G), just enjoy watching my boys and family sharing time together
Read and post here when I can
Have one of my X pills in my pocket if things get overwhelming, I am so darn AFRAID of those as far as being a "controlled substance" (ha ha ha how ironic) that I will follow the red sticker that says don't drink . . .
We will have my large and somewhat rambunctious dog there so he will be my exit strategy if I need a break. He is always up for a walk and they don't have a fenced in back yard so he will need to go out

Have a great day everyone! I appreciate all you do to support me so much, I COULD NOT DO THIS without you. Peace, joy and strength today.

[actiongirl46]

Pav . . . good thought. I'm not sure I could forgive myself for disappointing my 5 and 7 year old nieces so I don't think getting out of the trip is the best option. On the bright side, I am very honest with my sister and we have a very supportive relationship. I'm going to put thoughts about this trip ON HOLD and come back to it Friday and Saturday.

Off to "rawk" Day 11!! Merry Christmas!!

[KENSHO]

PAV, I was convinced my higher blood pressure was due to my pregnancy... But low and behold, my last readings have been back down to 90 over 60! The only change has been life sans drink! I don't think most people realize how many subtle things alcohol wrecks.

Having a lovely day with the kids. On the exercise bike now (cuz I committed to three workouts this week) and visiting husbands new office for lunch. I am feeling strong, but think I should make a very solid plan for the next two days with family. Will work on that now! Hugs and strength to all!