Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Got my Velcro on and wearing my t-shirt, G!! Thanks for ordering!

[ssd858]

I am right there with you Kensho
Try to hang in there! You are doing so great.
Not much left of this year! Imagine
how good you will feel ringing in the new year sober!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

My younger grandson (4 1/2) was an absolute lunatic this afternoon, even his mother couldn't stand him, ha ha! He definitely wasn't overloaded on sugar, I think the whole holiday thing overwhelmed him. No amount of AL would have changed that scenerio

Kensho, you need to work on your distraction skills. Don't watch other people drink, that's their business, not yours. You know that you have chosen to go AF for your benefit. Focus on your needs & your plan. You'll never regret doing that.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!
Hang on tight everyone

Lav

[actiongirl46]

Hi all - Thanks for the t-shirt G! Love the Xmas 2015 MYO Survivor theme. I'll take any color any size you got!

Kensho - I could have written your post. It didn't bother me to see my parents drinking Christmas eve or anyone else really but there were no surprises for me. Sounds like the surprises (BIL & Dad) may be throwing you off for some reason? Hmmm . . . .

I say I could have written your post as I am still really really struggling, my AL brain is firing away with all kinds of rationale and excuses. If it wasn't for my hubby not drinking AND knowing how upset he would be with me . . . I would probably not be here. BUT, we are here aren't we?? Kensho, I admire your honesty and your resilience. Hoping I can continue to do the same.

ssD - where are you in the process? Still planning for sister? Thinking of you . . .

IJM, Red, 4theboyz, choices, and anyone else I missed . . . I hope you are well and the demons are giving you a break.

I am on the first leg of a long road trip with boys and hubby. After 9 hours of driving it was very tough to not have wine with dinner. Grateful for safe travels and for making (sober) memories with the kiddos.

[KENSHO]

[Choices]

How are you doing KENSHO? I've really had to divert my eyes. It really helps. Like watching a horror film.. Look the other way. I've been doing that at the super market, in at restaurants, at Family dinners this week.. Even when I'm watching movies. I just kind of make my eyes look above the screen. When talking to someone drinking I look them in the eye and get away from them.. Only because I'm so fragile! I hope your alright that feeling of caving is just horrible :hug:

[ADP]

OK...so Christmas was a total dissaster, (as far as AL was concerned) and now feeling fed up and ill, again! Getting back in the Nest and trying again. Glad to see many of you survived! Will be my early new years resolution to stick with you guys.
Ady.

[available]

Evening nesters

A lovely time away with the family but i am glad to be back in my own bed, there dont seem to be springs popping up everywhere and sharing a single bed with two puppies was not overly fun.

My son lives on a property out of town and we could not recharge our phones till the evening, no internet, had to pump water for showers and put the fire on to heat the water up and use a wood stove to cook (not fun in 40 degree heat) but it was great to be in touch with nature. I had a few sad moments thinking of robert but thats to be expected. mum didnt pass on many positive vibes my way, her best effort was when she gave me perfume and i said that i may get a man with this and she responded with "i hope this one is better than the others you have chosen, you have bad taste". She is so sweet i just want to hug her to death! This is a woman who has had 3 husbands. I just walked outside and counted to 1000.

My other son has gone a week plus af and he is eating like a horse and is very tired. i explained to him to be gentle on himself, we dont heal in a week or few, this takes months to a year at least. He said to me that i seemed ok when i gave up al and i said to him i went through hell but tried not to show what i had done to myself as i was embarrassed and ashamed, something i dont feel anymore. He will get there, i know he will.

So glad everyone got through xmas, to feel the sense of achievement on a day that is full of people drinking is amazing but we know we dont need to drink to be happy. Drinking doesnt make us happy at all, ever.

Take care xxx

[Lavande]

Good Sunday morning Nesters,

Glad you are back home safe & sound Ava!
Great news about your son, I hope he continues on his AF path. Give mum an extra strong squeeze for me

Good to see you ADP, settle in & get your plan dusted off!

We seem to be stuck in this rain, cloudy, gloomy weather pattern so I guess I'll just stay in & get things organized around here.
Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[j-vo]

Good morning,
Lav, I like your perspective on not watching people drink, it's their business, not ours. Last night, we went to the community restaurant, and lots of people were having wine, beer...I did catch myself looking at it, wondering about it (not that I would have drank), but just thinking are they feeling pleasantly buzzed now? That's not a good thing to do, and it leads one to the feeling of deprivation.

I woke up this morning also thinking of how many times my son had seen me trashed, and it upset me. I thought about specific times that I'd upset him. I know I can't change the past, but I can make sure that it never happens again. But still...

Ava, glad you're home and in your own bed. Good for your son. He has a great role model, that's for sure.

Have a good day all.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, all.
Ava, you are an inspiration to so many. Glad you are back home safely.
Wishing everyone a peaceful day. Dont let a substance in a glass determine who you are. Byrdie

[All done drinking]

I can't believe how hard our society makes it to stay away from alcohol, especially this time of the year. I have one family member who offers me alcohol EVERY TIME I see him, even though I think he knows I quit. I guess he thinks it is temporary...

I know what you mean Pav. Last year when my best friend knew I had been struggling with foolishly trying to "control" my drinking, she bought me a beautiful wine rack for Christmas knowing I didn't keep wine in the house for fear of drinking it. This year, BIL, who was informed last July that I have quit drinking, bought me a beautiful crystal decanter with 4 wine glasses. Ok, I know I won't be filling my glass with wine, but come on folks! The marketing is everywhere for alcohol and it is as if people don't really believe our decision to quit. Treating it like it's only temporary. Sigh...however, I made it through the holidays.

Also met with a facilitator of SMART Recovery yesterday who has started a group in my area. The thinking is different than AA and as a nurse I like it as it's based on evidence based practice. Not just created by some one saying it works, but with valid research showing it works and why and how it works. Will keep folks informed of any helpful info I glean from going this route too.

Have a wonderful New Year everyone! No worrying about DUI's this year folks.

~Addy

[KENSHO]

G, Byrd, Mary, Jvo - thanks. I think I felt your thoughts of strength last night. I did not drink and feel good this morning. Some conversations with my husband about this site and my quit were stressful Friday night - will share later. Happy to be un-hung today and happy this holiday is over.

Ava, your mom sounds unhappy. Sorry she's was so unpleasant.

Happy Sunday All.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

We finally had a quiet night in my part of the nest. Both kids were out, so I cooked a delicious and healthy dinner and my husband and I watched a movie. I miss my kids when they're gone all the time, but I know I've done my job if they are independent and happy, and I must confess that a QUIET nest is pretty peaceful.

Kensho - so glad you came here for strength BEFORE drinking and that you made it through. That is another MWO success story

ADP - Welcome back. Do you know what happened and how you might change your plan to avoid drinking in the future? Stay close and let us help.

Ava - That sounds like a Chevy Chase movie - Vacation Down Under. Hijinks ensue. Again, you are there being strong for everyone. I hope you have some time to take care of yourself as well. Your son is lucky to have you...

G - I'll take an NYE shirt. Funny thing is that even in my drinking days I wasn't a big NYE fan, so I am happy to have a good dinner and hang at home doing whatever. And SO happy I'll wake up clear and focused on Jan. 1.

Lav - I always thought that kids save their "best" behavior for when the chaos is over and they can release whatever tension they have been feeling. Hope he feels better soon, for your sake.

Over the holidays I have seen a couple of movies where people have hangovers, and I have such a physical reaction to it. I truly can't believe that I intentionally put myself in that condition. NO amount of "fun" is worth that feeling, period. Thank goodness I don't have to go back there.

Matt - Seeing what is going on in North Texas and hoping you and your family are safe. I know you must be working very hard right now - I am sending you strength through the ether. I guess it won't be difficult to stay hard in that icy weather (sorry, gallows humor).

Off to enjoy the day.

Pav

[ssd858]

Heading out to Colorado today. Wish me luck.
My sister knows it is coming and is not happy about it.