Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Just a quick check in - I am working today, also on my day off IJM, but also like you I like my work and my colleagues so not really complaining. A day off yesterday was wonderful - time with the family, time to relax, and time to cook a great dinner.

Way to go, Red. 30 minutes at the gym is 30 minutes more than 0.

Happy Tuesday, Nest!

Pav

[Quit wining]

Hi Byrdie,
Public speaking is challenging for most of us.
Addy has some great suggestions. If I could add a couple, try to anticipate questions and have answers thought out in advance. If you can, practice in front of a mirror. Your body language can have a major impact on your presentation.
Remember, you know more about this product than they do!
You'll do great Byrdie!

[KENSHO]

Howdy Nest Peeps. Hangin' tough here. I've been cooking up a storm - especially healthy food, and my family recognizes the effort and loves that it is healthy! That's good. I've also been taking a break from work - which feels wonderful and recharging. I worry I will have a load to catch up on next week - but for now, I'm reveling in yarn, food, exercise and the laughter of my kiddos!

On a hard note, I'm worried about my marriage. I don't feel close to my husband at ALL. I have been doing all of this personal work - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually - and he just seems to want to stay in the same place. I do love him - and he is a great person, but MAN is he AFRAID! Or at least that's my interpretation. And when he gets afraid (of criticism, change, being uncomfortable), he gets manipulative. But mostly - I worry that we are just growing apart and want different things. This makes me really sad because we have such young kids - 6 & 10. I am not saying the D word - but I'm just not sure that he has the kahones or desire to do the work that will be required to keep us together for the long haul. And this makes me very, very sad. It has derailed me more than once in the AL department - because drinking keeps the brutally honest facts numb. SO I want to be healthy and not drink and continue to grow - but I fear this will put more and more space between us. Hard.

[j-vo]

Byrdie,
I used to shake like a leaf when presenting, especially in front of colleagues. I still do...But the above are great tips. You always come across on MWO as a strong and confident person, and that's already within you, even when you present this new product next week. Visualizing yourself making your presentation can be a powerful tool, also. The underwear thing never worked for me, but you can try it. Most of my presentations that were good were because I was well prepared, practiced in front of a mirror, practiced and practiced more. Always have note cards. One thing I try to do is talk slightly slower. I'm aware of the rate and pace of my words as I practice. The slower you are, the calmer you are. I know this probably isn't the same in business as it is in education, but involving the audience as much as possible is a great way to take the pressure off yourself. Even if it's a "write this question down," or some kind of tangible. Most people get bored, so to keep them focused and learn something, the best way is to have them "DO" and not just listen. Prayers for you, Dear.

[Guitarista]

Next week I have a big presentation to give. It's with a new product I'm not comfortable with yet. Plus I'm giving it in front of my toughest customer (R. Sole, as I call him) and my boss, who just got promoted to King. I gave it a dry run yesterday afternoon and it stinks! I have a lot of work to do to make it flow (or make sense!) UGG. I hate speaking in front of a group! It's one thing when I know what I'm talking about, but in this case, I don't want to get stumped with my boss there! Oy. I blush when I get stumped, I just hate that.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful week in this in-between time. Stay strong! Byrdie

Hello Nesters near and not so far. Yo Byrdy, if a product is any good, it should sell itself. But I suppose the obvious stuff to yap about might be:

Why would you want it?

What are it's strengths? What is it about this product that makes it different and above the competition?

What evidence is there to show this product is what you need now? Who tested it? What are the stats and tech specs?

Who else is using it or interested in it? What's the after sales service look like and what is the warranty?

Who is the manufacturer and what is that company's history.

How is my hair today?

I agree with the others when they say put in some preparation, and having some notes on the rostrum are the trick. Important to get informed about the product. Also be ready for any questions, such as specification figures (what's the voltage lady? how do I connect it? do I need brackets to install the thing? does it work in hot weather? What kind of back up is provided if the thing breaks down?) which you can have printed out from the manufacturer alongside any notes.

You'll raawk it.

130 today but who's counting. Stay focused nesters and think positive good things.

[available]

Morning nest

Feels great to not have to worry about work for another few days. Going to have some hot days coming for a week, may have to find someone with air con.

Kensho every thing changes when someone stops drinking. The dynamics change completely and its subtle and everyone needs to believe you are not drinking and learn to trust and see that you are totally serious in sobriety. What my children used to get away with as i was drunk just didnt happen anymore. They had to get to know the new me other than the drinking me, they had to believe i was serious and not going to relapse. I changed and eventually they changed also. People on here say that it takes a year for everyone to heal emotionally, its not just us we did the damage to, it is others around us also. Just because my thoughts, feelings, emotions changed and i wanted everything different, didnt mean that others did at first. People are resistant to change, its like leading a horse to water! Give it time and give yourself time to heal. If he follows then great, if not then you have some hard decisions to make.

On a happier note my son sent me a photo of how he looks after a week of no drinking and its lovely to see the life coming back into his eyes. He said to me last night how proud he is of me and to never think he is not. This is why i stopped drinking and am setting an example for my children. He said it also sucked that he was only 22 and could never drink again. I said to him that its better than drinking till 50 before he realised that he had wasted half his life. He then wanted to know how the feck i can turn negatives into positives, i told him it is learned behaviour and he will get that but for the moment i will guide him.

Take care x

[Guitarista]

Sounds tough Kensho. I've read this kind of situation on the boards here many times over the years. When we get sober and are no longer numbing ourselves, reality presents itself. Makes sense. I hope you two can work it out my friend. Take care of yourself and keep rocking your sobriety and hence your world. I believe we give all sorts of things the best chance of working out for the better when we are living sober. Working on any scenario from a place of truth is a good place to start.

[available]

Great work Mr G on 130 and Daisy for 50 days also. Some fantastic numbers over the xmas/new year period!

[Guitarista]

Thanks Ava. Good news with your son. How are you?

[Overit-still]

Kensho, I know how you feel. My hubby is not interested in me. He seriously has no joy. I would love to go to some type of counseling but he refuses. So, we are just two people sharing the same house. Kind of a drag because I love him dearly.

On the flip side to that, my parents finally divorced when my dad got sober. she put up with him being a drunk for 20+ years. He got sober and neither one of them knew what to do with the other anymore. Really kind of sad. She waiting all that time and then....

[available]

Hi G, I'm okay, not brilliant but having some time off work to recharge my batteries. I will be back at work on the 4th so we will definitely organise a catch up. It will be hard to go to work and no Robert to visit but thats how it is. May have to utilise the gym membership to get rid of the excess holiday cheer!

[j-vo]

G, "How is my hair?" LOVE IT. Got a great laugh at that one!

Ava, glad to hear about your son! Awesome.

Kensho, hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. You need to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone or anything else. (Well, except for the kiddos). And you're on the right, healthy road.

[NoraC]

morning nest



kensho every thing changes when someone stops drinking. The dynamics change completely and its subtle and everyone needs to believe you are not drinking and learn to trust and see that you are totally serious in sobriety. What my children used to get away with as i was drunk just didnt happen anymore. They had to get to know the new me other than the drinking me, they had to believe i was serious and not going to relapse. I changed and eventually they changed also. People on here say that it takes a year for everyone to heal emotionally, its not just us we did the damage to, it is others around us also. Just because my thoughts, feelings, emotions changed and i wanted everything different, didnt mean that others did at first. People are resistant to change, its like leading a horse to water! Give it time and give yourself time to heal. If he follows then great, if not then you have some hard decisions to make.

On a happier note my son sent me a photo of how he looks after a week of no drinking and its lovely to see the life coming back into his eyes. He said to me last night how proud he is of me and to never think he is not. This is why i stopped drinking and am setting an example for my children. He said it also sucked that he was only 22 and could never drink again. I said to him that its better than drinking till 50 before he realised that he had wasted half his life. He then wanted to know how the feck i can turn negatives into positives, i told him it is learned behaviour and he will get that but for the moment i will guide him.

Take care x

love this. Thank you, ava.

[rednose]

Just checking in. Nothing earth shattering happening in my life today.
I did not drink, I went to the gym and killed it, I got to play with the dogs.
And did I mentioned I did not drink.
I am trying to wrap my brain around the concept of " I don't drink" Other than I am quitting drinking or trying to quit.
"I don't drink" is a much more powerful statement. I like that.

[Byrdlady]

Gosh, thanks all for the encouraging words! I love the advice and will practice, practice, practice! Throwing in 'hows my hair?' is bound to be a hit!!! I am so grateful for the tips!
Yall are the best! B