Newbies Nest

[All done drinking]

I used to say years ago that J-Vo and I were twins as we had so much of the same history with our problem and attempts at solving it. So wasn't surprised to see she beat me to the punch with the "How's my hair comment." Priceless.

Gosh, all of a sudden it became a lot of different issues folks are having to respond to from that comment to now so I'll miss everyone but did want to respond to a couple of folks.

Kensho, rent the movie "When a man loves a woman" with Meg Ryan. It really delves into how it is difficult for the spouse when the other spouse is in recovery. Their role is changing too, whether they are losing a drinking buddy, or in my husband's case, losing the role of being the co-dependent caretaker..."I shouldn't have let you drink so much, I should have been watching you." as if he really could have done anything about it. Byrdie may need to practice, practice, practice for her presentation but you need to communicate, communicate, communicate. You do not want to end up being a family torn apart if you have a choice. Fight hard to not let that one happen. Over-it, Sorry to read that you feel joyless in your relationship. Hope that can change too.

Rednose, glad to see you keep popping in. Available, hope your heart is healing. Hi to everyone else as I'm short on time.

Stay enpowered friends.

~Addy

[Marylou123]

Hi Nesters,

Quick check in as we're still at moms and heading home tomorrow. It's been a great visit.

Kensho, Overit - I've been AF 23 months and my DH and I are still working very hard to "get to really know each other" again. Oh, and we've been married 23 years. And I was pretty much smashed each night for the last ten. It takes time and work. And I hope it works the way you each desire. A couple of books my DH and I found helpful are The Five Love Languages and For Women Only and For Men Only. All quick reads, and at least for us, offered some new and digestable relationship perspective(s).

Brydie - like Gman says, you'll rock! I used to rehearse my presentations in front my my hub but he'd ask questions a client would never, ever ask and it'd usually end up in an argument.

Have a a great night all. Congratulations to the milestoners!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, I have every faith in you & know your presentation will go well

G, nice on the 130!!!

Ava, I sure hope you can rest & recharge before you have to return to work. You have been on the go for the longest time. Take care of you :hug:

I just want to add a little something to the discussion on relationships - it takes two to tango, never forget that. Don't feel that you are personally responsible for fixing everything. Focus on your quit first & foremost, everything else tends to work itself out.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Matt M.]

Hi, Nest:

We finally had a quiet night in my part of the nest. Both kids were out, so I cooked a delicious and healthy dinner and my husband and I watched a movie. I miss my kids when they're gone all the time, but I know I've done my job if they are independent and happy, and I must confess that a QUIET nest is pretty peaceful.

Kensho - so glad you came here for strength BEFORE drinking and that you made it through. That is another MWO success story

ADP - Welcome back. Do you know what happened and how you might change your plan to avoid drinking in the future? Stay close and let us help.

Ava - That sounds like a Chevy Chase movie - Vacation Down Under. Hijinks ensue. Again, you are there being strong for everyone. I hope you have some time to take care of yourself as well. Your son is lucky to have you...

G - I'll take an NYE shirt. Funny thing is that even in my drinking days I wasn't a big NYE fan, so I am happy to have a good dinner and hang at home doing whatever. And SO happy I'll wake up clear and focused on Jan. 1.

Lav - I always thought that kids save their "best" behavior for when the chaos is over and they can release whatever tension they have been feeling. Hope he feels better soon, for your sake.

Over the holidays I have seen a couple of movies where people have hangovers, and I have such a physical reaction to it. I truly can't believe that I intentionally put myself in that condition. NO amount of "fun" is worth that feeling, period. Thank goodness I don't have to go back there.

Matt - Seeing what is going on in North Texas and hoping you and your family are safe. I know you must be working very hard right now - I am sending you strength through the ether. I guess it won't be difficult to stay hard in that icy weather (sorry, gallows humor).

Off to enjoy the day.

Pav

Thanks Pav,
Yeah we survived, in ten days, Heat, flooding, Thunderstorms with tornadoes in the area, then Snow.....
Had the A/C on Christmas Day! smfh! and a fire burning in the fireplace 2 days later.
And yes the this type of weather can be Hell on wheels in the Public Safety world!

Missed a few days checking in here, no excuses and definitely a poor habit to get into. I'm here alive and well.
Look like some great success stories came out of the holiday season in the Nest, so glad to hear and apologize for not being around to offer support.
Got quite a bit of reading to catch up on. ...

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!
I've also missed a few days and am getting ready to head off to friends for the New Year..
Looking forward to beginning 2016 Un-hung!
And to seeing you all here on the 1st...:hug:

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Hump day!

Good to see you Matt, I know you had quite a weather ride there, glad you are OK.
We actually had the AC on Christmas eve & Christmas day too. Such crazy weather happenings!

Good to see you as well LC!

Wishing everyone a good AF day ahead. Exercise & work for me today

Lav

[ADP]

Just having a read through and getting inspired with all the fab, positive comments being posted!! Plus, soooo many high numbers that I had to add mine....lol!!! 3 and a half days....yippee!! Sorry, not 50 or 130, but who knows?
Anyway, off to distract myself again and will check in later to be re-inspired all over again.
Everyone who struggles like me......keep going!!!!!!!!
Ady.

[j-vo]

Stay here ADP, and those numbers will increase, for sure.

Matt, glad you're safe and sound.

Going to the movies with my folks today to see Joy. Have a good day all.

[Byrdlady]

J-Vo, wait for me!!!!! I wanna go to the movies! Instead I'm here practicing this stooopid presentation....(raz-a-fratz-en-latzn)

I have inserted a selfie of my dog into the presentation to lighten the mood! Bah! I am talking about how much technology has changed in the last 8 years 'Even my dog has undergone major changes in 8 years!'.
Rubi Selfie.jpg
ehehehe.....
Hope everyone has a peaceful day!! Byrdie

[j-vo]

Perfect byrdie! Even the biggest of butt heads love dogs!!

[KENSHO]

Thank you all for the thoughts about relationships. I guess I should expect that it will change - but I am consistently hearing that no matter what the change is - DO NOT STOP. Ok, I'm tightening the velcro and heading into the next phase of long term. A few of you said communication is key. I've been afraid to share everything, partly for ease (he's a typical man) an partly for fear it wouldn't be accepted. But how can I expect to feel any closeness if I don't share what's on my mind? He can take it or leave it, but I'm being me and doing what I need.

Glad to see everyone positive and hanging in there. Matt, glad to know you are OK - thought of you more then once watching the news.
Life change & Overit - keep up the good work!

[ItsJustMe]

A few of you said communication is key. I've been afraid to share everything, partly for ease (he's a typical man) an partly for fear it wouldn't be accepted. But how can I expect to feel any closeness if I don't share what's on my mind? He can take it or leave it, but I'm being me and doing what I need.

Ouch! That cuts pretty deep! Hey, I'm a dude and I also communicate (but I still have issues with putting the seat back down and picking up my socks and drawers off the floor)! But seriously, I cannot stress enough that you have to open up. I tell Mrs. IJM EVERYTHING and she does the same - for 28 years now. Sometimes what I need to say may not go over well, but I think it's important enough to get it out or it will end up 'festering' and get twice as bad.

I have inserted a selfie of my dog into the presentation to lighten the mood! Bah! I am talking about how much technology has changed in the last 8 years 'Even my dog has undergone major changes in 8 years!'.

B - I am faced with this constantly - I get to get up and preach pharmacy and technology at the same time. And there have been times that many in the audience knew more than I did on the subject. However, I guess I projected an "air" of confidence. Heck, more than once I have been doing a demo and the system core dumped on the big screen. Try to recover from that! When it happens, I make a politically incorrect comment (seriously) that gets everyone laughing and lightens the mood. My biggest tool though is that I can always pick out three or so friendly faces in different areas of the crowd. Then I act as if I am just talking to them. But because they are in different areas of the audience, it comes off pretty good. Anyway, I am sure you will do fine.

I'm seriously not going into the office tomorrow. I may have to work from home for a bit but Santa brought me a drone and I plan on flying it for a while tomorrow. Mrs. IJM is off tomorrow so I may take her to a movie. I don't think I will be much more tempted than usual for Al new-years eve but rather than tempt fate, I will be occupying mind some way.

Have a great evening everyone!
IJM

[LilBit]

Matt, so glad you're OK. Thinking of you and also the folks in the Midwest who are dealing with the crazy flooding.

Byrdie, you'll knock em dead. I'm working tonight and all weekend so at least you're in good company. Love the picture of She Who Must Be Obeyed. That will be a big hit, as will you. My tips: eat a banana an hour before (seriously, Google it!) and take very deep, slow breaths during the few minutes before your presentation. You'll do fine.

I, for one, am glad to see 2015 come to a close. It's been a triumphant year, but a very tough one, too. 'Ready for what's next and I hope it's good.

[LilBit]

Wow, that was my 1,000th post. Do I get a decoder ring or a toaster or something?

[j-vo]

Evening Nesties,
Last day here with folks. Will be returning to a colder part of the nest tomorrow evening. Brrrr! Went to the movies this afternoon to see "Joy." Good movie based on a true story. When drinking, I didn't want to waste time at a movie. It's nice to be entertained and not worry about not being able to drink, or that getting sloshed is more important than an entertaining movie. I think I'm getting my life's priorities in order.