Newbies Nest

[ADP]

Thanks Byrdy for your latest!!! Just in time here as I was having an AL, NO-AL brain arguement!!! New Years eve and why not??? Because as you have just said, I am fighting for my life!!!
Thanks for your encouragement and wisdom and I look forward to posting a 5 day win tomorrow!
Happy New Year to you and all Nesters everywhere,
Ady x

[rednose]

Good Morning all.
I did not post much yesterday. I was in a funk and did not have much positive to say so I read a bunch.
Today is a new day, I have another af day in the bank.

Overit take good care of yourself today.

Bacman. I can only speak for myself. I went to rehab and spent 18 grand and it did not stick for me. I was drinking again
in 6 months. I will admit I went into rehab to save my failing relationship and not for me so I think that was a lot of my problem.
Today I am relationship free and I am only quiting drinking for me. ( and my doggies).
I am not advocating not going to rehab, Just make sure you are going for you. I hope I am not out
of line here saying this but I wanted to share how rehab was for me.
As Byrdlady pointed out. Depending on how much you spend a day on alcohol it won't take you long to recoup the investment in rehab
and 30 days alcohol free is a great start and it will do wonders for your health.

rednose

[daisy45]

Thoughts are with you today Over-it.....

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Weird to be waking up a day before Ava, G, and the other down under folks. I have all day to contemplate my NYE still...

Overit - My thoughts are with you today. You have so much on your plate, and then are sick to boot. I hope it goes well and that you are able to have some wonderful, happy thoughts of your mother as you remember her today.

Glad you're ok, Matt. How crazy is this weather??

Kensho, I'm with IJM - communication is key. My husband has strengths, but reaching out is not one of them. I have to check in with him and see what's is up. If you think something needs to be said, make the time and say it. Knowing is better than not knowing.

Red - Yes, you don't drink. Phew. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the paradox that says we have to accept the fact that we can't/won't drink (which means forever), and we have to take it one day at a time. They are both true, and yet seemingly opposite. I decided that I accepted I wouldn't drink over all, but that I wouldn't worry about that vacation 6 months from now and how I was going to stay sober. I would take that kind of thinking one day at a time.

Ava - I know there are sober groups for young people. A recent Bubble Hour was a discussion with a 23 year old who said quitting young was particularly difficult because of the social pressures. I hope your son can find some sober friends. Glad he is feeling better.

Byrdie - I know you'll knock 'em dead. I saw a TED talk about posture - taking a Wonder Woman pose, or an open stance actually raises your testosterone (the fight hormone) and lowers your adrenaline (or something?) (the flight hormone), and helps you remain calm (Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are). I found it interesting.

I'm off to do some work and some cleaning. Looks like dinner and a movie at home for this New Year's Eve. I feel like I want to stay close in case a teenager needs me...

Happy New Year, everyone. Here's to a fabulous 2016.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Happy end of 2015 folks. Thanks for all the great posts.

LOL IJM, sorry for the generalization! I have been with men who are willing to communicate and do it well - but dear God, it is not one of my husband's strengths. I think what I meant is that most men I know tend to be more brief - like summarizing a half hour into one sentence. TO be completely honest, my communication skills are terrible. I grew up in a family who just didn't communicate much, and my husband's family did it "loudly" (and rudely) - so that leaves us at a bit of an impasse. I also value my independence tremendously so I don't tend to share everything anyway. These are all things that contribute to some separateness - much of which is actually caused by ME. Darn it when I realize that I am as much a part of the issue! We need to learn to communicate better as a pair, and to fight fairly. Interestingly, the toilet seat is usually down and the socks on the floor are mine Marylou advised a few books that look like good ones for us - will check them out.

Lots of friends coming over tonight. I will get lost in cooking until the guests are also "cooked" - when I can join in more easily and not be noticed. We will have fun stuff for the kids, and I also will NOT forget to buy my favorite sparkly stuff. I'm not about to compromise this path now - it feels right.

Strength to everyone - and Happy New Year to you down under!

[ItsJustMe]

Hey Dudes -

Just taking a break from work and thought I would pop in and see what is up. Last night I said I was not going into the office today and I didn’t. The freaking office came to me. My phone started ringing at 8am and hasn’t stopped. I am setting on the couch with my personal laptop and my business laptop. Oh well, the alternative (not having a job) would be worse – gotta find the bright spots where you can.

I am really proud of myself today. I had the golden opportunity to drink last night. I mean even Mrs. IJM was not discouraging it. I was soon tempted. However, I ate dinner instead. Once I eat, any AL craving goes totally away. At any rate, I totally blew my 1500 cal/day diet with a pizza – but no Al!!! My goal is to be totally AL free thru 2/6/16. Long story on the significance of that date. But so far, I am on day 19 and doing ok. That will give me 56 days.

Here are my resolutions for 2016

• No Al at all until 2/6. At that point I am going to re-evaluate things. I have a particular plan in mind if things go my way.
• Last year I lost 50 pounds. This year the resolution is to loose 30 more.
• Last year I exercised to the point that I lowered my BP to the point I was able to go from three high dose BP meds to 2 low dose meds. This year I want to eliminate all BP meds.
• Achieve Platinum Vitality status by 5/1/16 – its a wellness thing my company offers and at that level, my health insurance premiums are reduced by $150/month. I did it last year-but it ain’t easy.
• Reduce our overall debt by 20%
• Increase my 401K contribution to 12%
• Increase Mrs. IJM’s 403(b) contribution to 10%
• Spend more time with my parents. They live 5 hours away. They are not going to be around forever. 5 hours is not a barrier!

I think all of this is doable but are stretch goals. Last year was the first year that I actually hit my resolutions – this year I am gonna do it again.

I may check in later this evening but just in case, I wanted to wish everyone an awesome new year!
IJM

[daisy45]

A very happy New Year to all our MWO family! Let's make our dreams come true!

[Lavande]

Wishing all Nesters a very happy & healthy 2016!!!!
Stay safe & keep your plans & goals close

Lav

[Choices]

Happy New Year everyone! I decided to post before I read back because I always run outta time and then can't post.. But I've been keeping up a little bit here at least! New Years Day here in NZ. It is wonderful to start this year without a hangover and fresh! It's pouring rain outside and I have a few hours to take a nap. Major luxury! I hope you all are doing well!

[Matt M.]

Hope everyone is having a great night! Even in my later drinking days I typically stayed home on NYE. That's Amateur night.
Thankfully I'm off tonight, lots of bars and clubs in the area I work, not to mention 80,000k plus people at a college football game that is also near my station.
I do have to work tomorrow 0500 comes early!
Stay hard everyone!

[Matt M.]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Over-it, you've got a tough day ahead. Use the same skills you've learned right here....take it a little at a time. Wishing you strength and peace.

Addy, heck, I didn't let the fact that a restaurant or movie house didn't serve booze deter me!!!! I imported it! Yes, I carried it right along....in my trusty hairspray bottle! I didn't want to get caught without my crutch, after all! To do that was anxiety inducing! Holy crap, what I'd give for a do-over. I would have cut this madness out 20 years ago!

Bacman, I was just reading your thread earlier this morning about 2016's challenges. I have 2 thoughts for you. Firstly, I think everyone you see in the nest at present is not using Baclofen. If I am reading your posts correctly, it seems almost as if Baclofen has made your drinking worse? I have never taken it but I have been around these boards for a long time....maybe now that you have some top-drawer support with us, you'd consider trying to go AF without Bac? We wouldn't expect you to change your name or anything (:haha, but we all have been able to get the support/strength we need by checking in here every day. It's a thought! Rule #1 when you find yourself in a hole: Stop digging!

Thought #2. You mentioned that Mrs BacMan has booked a rehab stint for you. I can tell you this....4 weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things and the 10G's it will cost will come back to you by way of savings! I was a cheap drunk (~$10 a day). I am 1757 AF days today....if we do the math, I've saved at least $17K on booze alone! If you ever drove drunk, throw in another 10K for the inevitable DWI and all it's shame and glory! Those 4 weeks you might spend at rehab could be the best money you ever spent! You'll get it back, too, by NOT drinking! Now that's just looking at it from a dollars and cents standpoint. Now let's look at the power of YOU. You mentioned that the task of not drinking in 2016 looks like The Impossible Dream.... The more you consider it, the harder it looks like it's going to be. You are prolly sitting there thinking after all is said and done, that you can't do it....am I true?

BUT (and it's a big but!) What if Oprah Winfrey told you she'd give you $10 Million dollars if you would put AL down and not drink again. If you are like me, by hook or crook, you'd find a way to do it. You'd reach WAY on down in your soul and find a way to make that happen, right? Why? Because YOU WANT IT. In this case, that money would give you and your family financial security for the rest of your lives, it would give them all they could ever want or need, right? It would be BEST for everyone! Now, if you can quit drinking for 10 Million dollars, you can quit drinking period. Instead of the money, you are giving your family a husband and father. You ARE giving them financial security because you will be around to provide it. You are fighting for much more than 10Mil you are fighting for your life.

Yes, it is hard those first few days...but put it down today and make a vow to never buy or drink it again. That's what I did. My hubs was the poster boy for patience with me over the years but on Jan 19, 2011, he walked out on me and said he didn't want to be married to a drunk. Nobody does! I had a hard choice to make....try to get him back and stop drinking or give in to AL totally and lose it all. I chose life. By the time we get to MWO, we are really looking at two choices....drink ourselves to death, or put it down and live! I know I made the right decision! It takes time, but every single one of us here can tell you, it is worth it!

Stick close, if I can get sober, I know you can, too!
Happy New You!!!!!! Byrdie

Byrd
This is Greatness my dear Friend!

[NoraC]

Byrd - I had to put a link to your post in my journal. Very powerful post. Thank you.

[KENSHO]

Happy 2016 to my Nest friends! I am so thankful for you! I had SOOO much fun tonight - in my house, with drinkers all around me - I feel at home in this new skin. It can be done!!! Now, time for bed

[Choices]

Your amazing KENSHO! Happy New Year. You'll be so happy in the morning.

[ADP]

HAPPY NEW YEAR NESTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, got a 5 day result....amazing!! So new year off to the start I wanted, (no feeling ill) and no looking back now. I know it is easy to say never, but that is my full intention regarding AL. So next target a full week then who knows??

So much encouragement here, so many good posts and so much good advice, so tons of reading, determination and a change in outlook and 2016 will be my year.

Have a fab, safe year in the Nest!
Ady x