Newbies Nest

[ItsJustMe]

Morning all!

ADP - don’t beat yourself up. A little frustration is enough and should be your motivation. However, press your reset button and take another go at it. You managed to string 6 days together. That is more than lots of people get. And it shows that you were determined. So, make this time tomorrow be the start of day 2!

Avail – I hear ya’. I’d rather suck the sweat out of a redneck’s t-shirt than go to the mall. I absolutely hate going.

Choice – be glad you caught this while she is too young to totally understand. My boys are 18 and 24 and they are old enough to know my issue. Wish I could go back and start all over again. No, on second thought, I’d rather just stay right here and deal with it. There were too many other challenges in the past that I managed to get by but wouldn’t want to go through again. BTW, what day are you at? Should be at or close to 30 now shouldn’t it – I’m a few days behind you.

Today starts day 22.I’m doing great. There is one big trigger than I really miss. TV. I used to enjoy my rum and cokes with tv shows – documentaries, mysteries, etc. So now I have this big ol’ screen in my living room that is constantly black. I know that at some point I will get past this trigger but for now, I sure do miss my shows. But I don’t miss the drinks that go with them. So for now, I’ll just have to find other ways to occupy my time.

Woke up at 4:40am this morning. Wide awake. That is 6 hours sleep so not too bad. I need to make a list of things I need to get accomplished today. One thing I can say. Had this been a month ago, I would have slugged out of bed around 10AM and felt like crap all morning. I DO NOT miss that feeling! Also, I noted that my weight has started dropping again! Yeah.

Well, gotta make some breakfast and then figure out what productive things I am going to get accomplished today.

Have an awesome day everyone!
IJM

[Choices]

Thanks for that Eloise! I just signed up. Looks pretty cool. I like the idea that it's free and that I'll get an e-mail everyday

Hey dude aka IJM!

You sound great! That is awesome!

Yeah, the day she was asking about my drink and also making sure I had it in my hand.. trying to 'help' me I started to know it wouldn't be long before the gig was up. My dad quit drinking when I was around 5 years old my sister was 3. He was quit for 20 something years.. So I didn't see him drunk or drinking when I was a child. He started drinking again when he met his new wife 12 or so years ago.. So now I've scene him buzzed, drunk, really drunk and scene him quit again, and start a few more times for a period of a year.. or less.

I guess I always admired him for the strength to quit and now I relate to him on this struggle, success, journey. I've never once judged him for any of it. There were a few times I would have rather he not of been drunk or hungover.. but I didn't take it personal. And I would prefer it if he didn't drink, because of his health.. and because he has told me how he can get in a dark place. I'm sure your sons just look up to you and love you anyway warts and all. And if they do struggle with alcohol in their future you will know what they are going through. My sister doesn't have a drinking problem, nor does my mother. If any of this stuff is inherited I got it from him. There is so much more to my dad then being an alcoholic. I don't even think of him that way..

I've got to be close to 30 days.. (again). I feel strong in my resolve.. and working hard at this final quit. I've actually gained weight! booo! to eat through a few cravings.. but I'm not going to worry about it for now.. My skin feels and looks great though..

Well, my husband is out at a poker game with some of his oldest friends. And I am happy for them. I kinda just know he is having a good time. I expect they are drinking quite a bit tonight. One of his friends is going to stay with us. It's 12:30 am here now.. This maybe evil of me but I am already feeling glad I won't be sharing in any hangovers tomorrow. And I know my husband will have the guilt think going.. (I hope he doesn't.. but it's par for the course.) I still can't be around any drinking.. and there is non in the house.. If they happen to come home with some, which is unlikely.. and if any is left in the house when I am alone.. My plan is to pour it in the toilet and maybe some into cups to put in the garden to catch slugs. This won't make hubby mad. I don't think he'd bring any home though.

I've had a really relaxing evening. I splurged at the health food store and got organic food for my daughter and my dinner and some non dairy ice cream made from coconut milk.. Got some new little candles, a facial mask and an essential oil.. that I put in my diffuser. It's been a nice night. Hope everyone is doing well!

[Lavande]

Good Saturday morning Nesters!

It's seriously cold here this morning but we've been promised sunshine today

Choices, you sound good! Stay in your plan & you'll never be sorry. Congrats on your AF time!

ADP, sorry you decided to drink. AL is sneaky & will continue to haunt us until we decide to give it the final boot! A zero tolerance policy is mandatory. Keep trying until you get there, you will!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[lifechange]

Happy New Year, Nesters!!

I'm happy to be here with you all, beginning the new year in a strong place..

ADP, I agree with what the others have said.. and what you said.. just get yourself back in the game. Don't worry about what has been done and focus on today. I was having such a difficult time at the beginning of the week, getting myself into a positive frame of mind.. and last night I decided to go back to focussing only on today.. I have a visual of today being a box (like on the calendar) 2. of January.. all of the other little boxes have their place in my life, but not today! Today is just today.. and I know loosely what is in store and I can handle it.

I just received an old Pentax camera that I ordered over ebay and have been having a blast (might be getting a headache, though :happy2 remembering all about f-stops and shutter speeds, depth of field, etc.. that's my distraction right now and it's fun! Can't remember the last time I lost myself in something..

I also signed up for the yoga camp, Eloise! Thanks for the link.. I'm going to do the short Anxiety and Stress sequence today with my daughter.

So good to see the progress here in the Nest.. IJM, I can relate to the TV trigger as I used to always drink wine while watching movies.. I'd always wake up at some point, completely lost, turn it all off and drag myself to bed. Recently I watched an old film and made a huge mocha to go with it.. that was also nice. And I was almost giddy happy because I was making the first step in breaking an old habit..

Choices, you're sounding really strong! Doing what you need to be doing, listening to yourself.. I love to splurge on such goodies at the organic market.. the coconut milk ice cream sounds delicious!

Yesterday we were returning home from visiting friends on the train.. there was a drunkard in the seat ahead of us passed out and a grandpa/grandma pair behind us that smelled so strongly of booze.. Both my daughters commented on it.. and the younger one (11) said, I'm never going to start drinking alcohol, mama.. I said, that's a really good goal to have, that it's definitely very important to wait until you're much older to try, if you decide to (here the drinking age for beer is 16/wine and spirits 18), after your body and brain are fully developed.. she said, yeah, the problem is that if you drink alcohol, you get addicted.. I tried to explain to her that some people seem to be able to drink a glass of wine or two and that's that (like her dad, she mentioned), while others have no control.. she asked, are you addicted, mama? (we've never concretely talked about the extent of my drinking problems) I said, if I have one drink of alcohol, even the tiniest bit, I can't stop, something in my brain gets tweaked and I'm out of control.. but if I don't drink any alcohol, I don't have a problem.

I think I've waited to talk to the girls too much about my drinking because I was afraid of failing again.. I was afraid that the knowing might do them even more damage, if I "decided" to drink again. The older one (14) knows a bit more, also about my mom being an alcoholic because she's at the age I was when I started and I wanted her to know that she could be more genetically pre-disposed to alcoholism.. but I still haven't spelled out the details..

Weather's getting cold here, too, Lav!
I'm happy about it, though, as we're way too far north to be having 50°F weather in January!

Big hugs and hellos to all Nesters, birds flying by! (speaking of birds, Byrdie I loved your long one addressed to Bac.. and all of us!)
Enjoy the length and possibilities of a sober weekend!

[Byrdlady]

Lifechange, congrats on your 100+ days!! :welldone:
Great work!!!

We've been watching a Twilight Zone marathon. This morning, the episode was a man who wanted to go back in time and change three major world events. As he did so, no one believed him and the historical events didnt change at all. This set me to thinking.....what would the 56 year old Byrdie go back and tell 21 year old Byrdie. I would absolutely tell me that AL is highly addictive to SOME people and I am one of them. I would tell me to seek help to talk about problems and not drink over them. I would tell me not to drink AT or eat AT people. I would find a way to warn me that AL COULD be the death of me if I pick it up, because some people are wired that way. I would also tell me to buy 2 pieces of property that would later skyrocket in price.

Unfortunately, it isnt possible to go back in time, but for those who have children, it looks like it would be a really great idea to have the conversation with zeal. AL is a manmade substance that really, no one needs to be drinking. Theres no gene test to see who will get addicted and who wont. Every drink causes damage every time. Food for thought. What would you tell you?

Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[Eloise]

Omg Twightlight Zone was my favourite! Haha, awesome.

Glad you like the Yoga Camp Choice. What a sweetheart Adriene is, love her.
She got me hooked on daily yoga, now I do an hour daily.
Its great.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I'm off to work and then another booze-filled family birthday party. Should be fun with many generations and not too much booze. The last hurrah before reality...

Byrdie - there are SO MANY things I would tell my younger self - the piece of property thing chief among them. But I would also tell me to love myself for who I am - to not worry so much about what I thought others thought I should be. I think I thought alcohol helped me fit in more...

Way to go, LC. That is a hard conversation. You are doing amazing.

G - Perfect advice!

I have to run but wanted to check in.

Pav

[lifechange]

Byrdie, I'm actually hitting 60 tomorrow.. it's Hypernova with the 100+!
To whom I also wanted to say, CONGRATS!!!

Eloise, an hour a day is awesome! That's my long time future goal--
right now, it's some sort of exercise/movement/meditation every day, depending on what my body needs. Adrienne seems really cool, authentic.. looking forward!

hi Pav! have a good time tomorrow.. I'm with you on letting my younger self know she can love herself, exactly how she is..

[Eloise]

Available how is your doggie?
Lifechange I dont blame you for waiting a while before talking to your girls about drinking. Maybe a few more months once you are more confident in your quit. You will get there!

Gosh, is life ever different since we came here. More quiet.
More relaxed, better sleep.
What a good idea so far, a more sane lifestyle I think.

[rednose]

I just checking in. I have not been on much. I have problems with depression ant I isolate myself when I get like this.
Not drinking but to be honest I kinda wish I was.
Alcohol numbs everything good and bad. I am sure it is part of why I have been such a heavy drinker before.
Sorry to be a downer. Depression SUCKS.

[lifechange]

Rednose, I am a lot like you in that I tend to burrow away when I'm feeling down and even more so when I'm really depressed.. I don't have clinical depression, but really intense manic-depressive tendencies.. so that's all I know about from experience.. but I think it's important to reach out during those times, like you are. Even if just to say it.. and when I remember that I should do that and then actually follow through it does help. Often I write a couple of sentences and then can't tell up from down and just end up deleting.. but I do read a lot and try to stay connected... I also drank a lot of the time to numb myself.. in the end, though, we know in our non-depressed state, that drinking just makes everything worse, more complicated and doesn't allow us to try other methods of dealing with the feelings.
Is there a "usual" amount of time you feel depressed, when you're depressed? Does it help to distract yourself with an activity?.. getting out for a walk or more intense exercise or heading out to a film? Do you have someone in real life you can call up?
You've been doing so well with your AF time.. You're not in any way a downer! Coming here to get these things out in writing is exactly why we're here.. I'll be around for the next hour or so..

[lifechange]

Congratulations on 30 days, Kensho! Just saw in the Nest.. Great work!

[available]

Morning nesters

Well tomorrow is Monday and back to work, now i feel motivated to do something.

Red i suffer from depression also and the WORST thing you can do is not read and post here. That al voice will get you by the "balls", tell you it is ok to drink, tell you that you will feel better if you do drink and you will be back at square one and more depressed than ever and throw in the added extras of guilt and shame and the list goes on. I have found that my depression and anxiety is 90% better now i dont drink and have been sober for longer. I ended up at the end of my drinking career popping xanax more than i should have as my anxiety hit the roof. Blamed that on everything except the al and at the end of the day it was the al. We go through a lot of emotions when we first stop drinking, go with them and it will get better but DONT leave here and be left to your own devices.

ADP sorry that you drank but at the end of the day it is only our choice to pick up that glass or not. I never ever want to have a day 1 again and drinking solves absolutely nothing. You fecked up but at the end of the day you had sober days and thats always a great thing.

El my pup is good today, apparently she had back pain and her liver is inflamed. Too much xmas drinking i told the vet. She had more blood tests and booked for an ultrasound next week. they are not sure why her liver levels are raised and i hope its nothing serious but i overthink as per usual. I just cant imagine losing her. My wallet is very sad!

Kensho congrats on 30 days, keep up the good work.

Take care xx

[crocster]

Hello and best wishes for the year ahead to all. I am new to this thread but not to MWO - a long time lurker who has gained so much from the people who contribute here. But, despite a few alcohol free periods over the years, I have not managed to stay quit - and I know I need to. Feeling pretty flat at the moment after a rinse and repeat Christmas/New year cycle. I have used Antabuse in the past and will see my doc this week for a script. I found it helpful to take the choice of whether to drink or not off the table for a period of time. My typical drinking pattern is nothing during the day but 5 o'clock is wine o'clock and I will have 1-2 bottles of white wine during the evening. I find my consumption has increased since I semi-retired and know I need to stop - period - I know I can never return to "a glass of wine with dinner". That horse bolted about 15 years ago.
Best wishes to All.

[Byrdlady]

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