Newbies Nest

[Dutch1988]

Congrats struggles! Way to make it 7 days!

Red I made it 14 days back in February and I did the same thing. After that slip I haven't drank since, realizing it just was not helping. So know that your two and a half weeks do not have to go to waste. Good luck!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Rednose, sorry you have been feeling so low. I think a lot of us have had some experience with depression. I self-medicated for years with wine, of course it never helped. Great that that you came right back to the nest. Have you given any thought to what you can/will do in the future instead of reaching for a drink? The Tool box is full of great ideas you can add to your plan.

Struggles, CONGRATS on your 7 AF days! Stay with us now & let's all move forward together.

Addy, not sure what you are looking for on another forum but I wish you the best.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Matt M.]

Good evening all,

Addy not much else to be said, that hasn't. Kuya really said it best.
You have been a great addition to this forum.
I'm not sure if a specific incident led you to this decision or how an increase in moderator involvement could make it any better.
To each their own and I wish you well.

One thing is absolutely undeniable for me, I believe divine intervention led me to these rooms and the support I've received and the friends I've made are irreplaceable. Other than a few site maintenance/technical issues I hope nothing changes here.
Stay hard my friend and good luck

[ssd858]

My brother and I hung in there with my sister for the better part of a week. Sadly she got out of jail (20 days) and talked of having a few beers the first night. It is crazy that they put her in jail for violations (3) of the ankle monitor but then sent her home without it!!!?? Absolutely crazy!

This was her second dui. She has joint custody of her 2 boys and her ex-husband has been great in my opinion but it was so hard to be there. She basically dropped the boys off with us and wanted to do her thing. And the boys are so wanting her attention it is heart-wrenching.

We did manage to get her to go to 2 aa meetings. But she was not very interested in them.
I so hope something sticks with her. We love her dearly and she has so much to give if she could just get past this. She has so much to offer.

[SHADES_of_IDAHO]

Hi ssd584,
So sorry to hear about your sister. My son has had many DUI's,. He has been drinking since a teen. He's in his 40's and is still battling this disease. AA is a good start and not always a good fit for everyone.
Most drink to self medicate due to anxiety or trama. Once the brain has been trained by the opiate receptors in the brain to the cravings of alcohol, they are constant then addiction is the major factor.
Some people need counseling and a personally designed program to address the many issues which began the addiction in the first place. Some need meds to help block the cravings plus counseling and a good doctor who understands that alcoholism is a disease not a choice.
The best thing is to read as much as you can about this disease to better understand how it creates the long process of addiction, cravings and learn what triggers the cravings.
This is a very complicated disease. Only your sister can make the desicion to stop the madness. Most Al. are kind and generous and others take advantage . Some are deeply depressed and alcohol is a depressant which makes the depression worse even though they know this the cravings in the brain has the control and power over her actions to want to be sober.
There are many books on the science of addiction and relapse. Helping her know that she must do the work of sobriety on her own is the most important part of her sobriety.
Not allowing her to manipulate you to rescue her each time she is in trouble. Ask the court to order her to go into treatment. This usually is a 30 day accessment from a court assigned addiction center.
This is a good start. Also her GP needs the accessment from the courts & addiction councelors to continue a program designed to help her stop the cravings. There are many medications that can block the opiate receptors in the brain to block the cravings that a doctor can prescribe.
See the thread on meds on this forum. There are many meds that can help her and eventually she can learn how to stop. She cannot stop unless she understands the many issues that alcohol controls her brain thru cravings & this drives her to drink. She can only want this and do all the work and study this disease on her own.
Please google the brain scans of a alcoholic vs a normal brain. You will see the pics how the opiate receptors the addiction area in the brain is only used while the process of logical thinking in the area of the brain are shut down. Nothing will stop this madness only she must do what it takes to understand that she is literally held prisoner by this disease.
I know it's tough to watch someone you love self destruct. Especially when this disease effects the whole family her children and friends.
I wish you the best and send many blessing to your sister to help her find her way to sobriety. I know there is so much more to this disease as I have understood for many years how painful this disease is for the whole family.
Peace & best wishes,
SHADES

[j-vo]

Hi Ann!! Glad you flew over to the nest. And yes, I feel the same way that if mr. Jvo and son weren't here, I'd be gone.

Addy, I will miss you. You've made so many friends here and your posts are so well thought out and helpful. I hope you reconsider.

SSD, thoughts for you and your family. That's a tough situation and heartbreaking with the boys.

Here we go!! Back to work on this unhung Monday morning. I'm up at 4 going to do my Pilates and yoga video first. I've tried this many times before - the exercise before work, but I always fell off that wagon too. I want to try again, now that I'm sober and feel as though it could really work this time for me. I was reading online about exercise in the morning and how many crazy people get up super early to get their workout in before work. So here I am to tell you I'm one of the crazies. I was actually a bit excited last night for the challenge ahead of me. Went to bed at 8 but probably didn't fall asleep until 9:30ish.

[crocster]

Hello SSD,

I'm sorry to hear of your sister's troubles. It must be frustrating to want to help and have to look on while she is on a self destructive path. I'm guessing she has youth one her side though and I've seen the recuperative powers of the human body once the damage stops.

Back when I first found this site my searching around brought up this book:-

Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through Nutrition: Joan Mathews Larson: 9780449002599: Amazon.com: Books

It works on the premise that alcohol abuse causes changes to our biochemistry which, after a time, we think only alcohol can relieve, leading to physical cravings and inevitable relapses. I bought it and took as many of the supplements as I could afford at the time. I credit it, along with some acupuncture and a mental readiness to try to stop with my 3 months of sobriety in 2012. I didn't stick with it but I'm grateful for the feeling and the healing of that sober time. And I'm now back here to try again.

Best wishes, Crocster

[myhappyplace]

Hello SSD,

I'm sorry to hear of your sister's troubles. It must be frustrating to want to help and have to look on while she is on a self destructive path. I'm guessing she has youth one her side though and I've seen the recuperative powers of the human body once the damage stops.

Back when I first found this site my searching around brought up this book:-

Seven Weeks to Sobriety: The Proven Program to Fight Alcoholism through Nutrition: Joan Mathews Larson: 9780449002599: Amazon.com: Books

It works on the premise that alcohol abuse causes changes to our biochemistry which, after a time, we think only alcohol can relieve, leading to physical cravings and inevitable relapses. I bought it and took as many of the supplements as I could afford at the time. I credit it, along with some acupuncture and a mental readiness to try to stop with my 3 months of sobriety in 2012. I didn't stick with it but I'm grateful for the feeling and the healing of that sober time. And I'm now back here to try again.

Best wishes, Crocster

I remember that name! and the book and the supplements...something I used too. Good to see you Crocster, not especially the circumstance, but I'd wondered how you were going as we were from the same neck of the woods. Best wishes to you.

[available]

Evening nesters.

Ann a big congrats on 7 days, onwards you go. There is nothing like feeling human or as human as we can be as the al leaves our system

SSD i am so sorry about your sister. I know with my brother, it did not matter with anything we did or said he still drank and drank until sadly he died at 46. I am sure as much as he wanted to give up al, he was scared as we all are when we are giving up. My biggest fear was scared of failure yet again, we feel a failure as we are drunks and we fear the unknown. Fear holds us back but the amazing thing is the fear lifts when we stop al.

Good days Red and keep at it. When i drank after stopping i was so disappointed that i drank again and said to myself it was horrible but i lost the horribles and the ball started rolling again in the wrong direction. Keep heading in the right one!

I had a Robert day today as i call them. Seen some hot air balloons on the drive to work which started me off and felt lost at work but i know its just a sad day. Tomorrow will be better until the next sad Robert day comes along.

Off to bed, this day of work has wiped me.

a link to a new documentary coming out which sounds interesting.

Other people were alcoholics. I just liked a drink – or so I thought | Lucy Rocca | Opinion | The Guardian

[ItsJustMe]

Wow, I went to bed around 9:30 last night and right before, checked this thread. I got up this AM, went to the gym, got back and checked the thread again, and everyone and their brother has checked in!

First, Struggles – congrats Dude! 7 days is awesome! It’s mostly mental now. Just commit yourself to one day at a time. Don’t overthink it. That was my mistake many times in the past.

Red – so you had a drink – not even enough to get toasted? I am not the official MWO time keeper or anything like that – but I would not even be inclined to count it. I mean, we would not want go around tempting fate – but in this case, if it was one drink, and you didn’t even get anything from it, my knee jerk reaction would be “what drink?”. If it made me feel better, I might subtract one from my total count. But again, that is just me and not an “official” counter.

J-vo – I was feelin’ your presence at the gym this morning! I’ve been doing the "before work” thing for several weeks now. I know that when I get home in the afternoon, there is no way I am going to the gym – so since I wake up un-hung, might as well make use of it (boy, someone could have a field day with that last statement!)

SSD, I’m at a loss for words, other than I think you qualify for sister of the year award. I would like to think I have that kind of patience, but I know in my heart that I don’t.

Kuya – Same here. Several years ago I was active on MWO. I got "my feelings trampled on” on and I really showed them! I not only quit posting but I started having nightly drinks. Ouch! I know that made them sorry they ever messed with me! ADD - Let me be the poster boy for ‘Don’t let this happen to you.”

Ok, just finished up my delicious Nutrisystem Omelet, turkey sausage, and coffee. Time to hit the shower then head for a day at the salt mine!

IJM

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters,

I have a super busy day ahead & just wanted to drop in to wish everyone a great AF day!
Wonderful to see the nest busy & everyone moving forward together

Make it a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
I should have made notes as I caught up, but I will hit the high spots before I tackle this pile of work on my desk. I had major Holiday-Dontgiveaspits when it accumulated.

SSD, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. But you didn't tell us how YOU are doing with AL. While this is a great forum for learning about the destruction AL can cause family members, its greatest strength is helping the individual who has the problem. I don't know a lot about much, but on the subject of AL, I consider myself an expert. I have been on every side of that bottle. Here's something else I know. You won't be able to help anyone else until you have that problem solved yourself. That's not only true with other issues, but it is especially true here. How will anyone listen to you when you tell them NOT to drink, but are still drinking yourself? I know I wouldn't. That's why what Lav, NS, Kuya and The P-Ava Twins say something, I listen. They are walking the walk. If my fat doctor were telling me to lose weight, I'd laugh in his face! Same with this.

MWO is a unique place.....I believe it's like having the ability to see the past, present and future. We have the ability to see (over time) what AL will do. Here's what we know for sure: This is a progressive disease. It doesn't arrest itself. If you signed up for MWO, you have an AL problem. Finally, there are two types of people on this forum....those who struggle with AL and those who don't. I've been in both camps, and I'm here to tell you, the ability to get thru a Sunday without even a thought of AL is a blessing! As long as you continue to drink AL, you will struggle with it. I tried every single approach I knew to outsmart this disease and unfortunately, what I found is that if you feed it, you only make it stronger. Your sister sounds as if she is in the last stages of Alcoholism....but only being stage 2 isn't a prize, either. Guess what's next...Stage 3 and it sucks! Like I said, you are seeing what can happen when AL isn't stopped. It keeps on taking over until it has it all.

The news is not all bad, however! If you look at the long timers on here, they are among the happiest folks around! It's not a death sentence, it's a LIFE sentence! You will grow and live and flourish! Yes, those first days are hard, but so many things in life are much harder. My neighbor has breast cancer and just had a double mastectomy, reconstruction and will undergo radiation. THAT IS HARD. Loosing people we love is hard. If we keep our perspective about it, we can give up AL.

Like they say in the Not-So-Friendly Skies: Secure your oxygen mask before assisting others. It applies here, too. This is just my opinion from the peanut gallery. But I am very familiar with how Alcoholics think....(I am one).

I hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Ssd,very sad about your sister but listen to Byrdie,you hafta take care of YOU first,plus you can be there for your nephews,obviously they need a strong female in their little lives right now, i hate kids having the trauma that us addicts inflict on them J-vo,I'm one of those crazy morning exercisers,I can't sleep anyways,may as well get it out of the way for the day Addy,I don't want you to leave,you have such good,knowledgeable posts,I haven't seen much drama lately anyways,I belong to another forum and it's waaay to over moderated,can't talk about supplements which is stupid to me cuz they can help,anyways,hope everyone has a great Monday

[ssd858]

Hi all - believe me I hung in there. This is day 8 for me. My husband booked me a hotel and a car so that I could get away. This helped so much. I just couldn't be around it 24 hours a day.
My brother was a godsend - he stayed the night and each morning I would go pick him and the boys up and we would hit the gym. I also tended to go back to the hotel around 7 each night so that I could decompress.
I have been taking the supplements from the 7 Weeks to Sobriety Book and sent her a photo of
the regimen that I have been taking. I thought about putting a pack together for her but I think it has to come from her. I tend to try to do too much.
Besides the al she takes pills and smokes. When she mentioned having a few drinks I told her that only she could make the decision to be sober but that wasn't this a good time to get her head straightened out? She had 3 weeks sober and free of all substances. Seemed like the perfect time.
My brother has a bit more emotional distance from her and sat her down twice, once when she got out and once the day we left. He went through our family history to make it clear to her that it is definitely in her genes.
Several times during the week she talked about wanting to be at the place where she could just have a few drinks. I told her that this was not likely to be possible.
Nobody drank while we were there, but she had regular beer in the fridge and one morning when I came over there was a half open beer. So it is likely she was drinking.
I left with a heavy heart. But sober.
The first morning I was home my husband and I took the dogs for a walk at the bay and while helping a woman with her broken scooter I shared some of the story about my sister. She happened to be 9 years sober and in aa. And a dental hygenist! She said my sister was not ready and that she would have left that first evening when she talked about drinking. Crazy timing!
Sorry to ramble on.

[actiongirl46]

Morning all - I'm glad to see we are tackling the new year with hope and strength.

Ssd, I am pulling for you and your family. So tough.

Red, let's do this. I had a few on vacation after 14 days AF. Boy, it doesn't take long to get right back into old habits. But one bad habit I'm NOT going to get back to is the feck its!! I feel so much better AF, especially in the mornings and most of the day, that I'm craving that now. Its a journey, let's just reflect, learn and move forward. I am grateful that so far I have found a routine at home that seems to be working. For me, that is HUGE and has taken a year. Vacations will come . . .

J-vo and IJM, very inspiring on the morning exercise!! I always thought it was the wine that made me a night owl but, sadly, that is not the case. I am a night owl and like to exercise after work.

Unfortunately, even though I did not drink last night, I have a horrible head cold and cough and feel lousy. UGH!! At least there are no GSRs to go with it!

Have a good Monday everyone - AG