Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters,
It was good to read back and catch up on how everyone has been doing..
SSd, I'm very sorry to hear about your sister and her kids..I know how difficult it is to stand by and watch someone harm themselves and their family..despite knowing better and despite the help coming their way. I'm glad that you had the support of your husband and brother and really proud of you for being so strong in mind and body and spirit! Congratulations on your 8 days..

Byrdie, loved that post.. I always like to be reminded to check my perspective. I'm not struggling with drinking at the moment but with other difficulties which can easily be multiplied tenfold in my mind if I let them! I've been slacking on the gratitude lately..

J-vo, Good on you, getting up early to exercise! I'm a morning person but not so much with exercise 'cause I need lots of time to get my body warmed up.. today was my first day back to work and I pressed snooze from 5:30-6:35!:happy2: Exercise plays an important part in my plan this year.. hope you're having a good day back at the school..

Ava, have been thinking a lot about you.. You must have really mixed emotions on Robert days. I hope your heart isn't hurting too much.:hug: Have you been able to settle in again to daily life after the holidays? I read a couple days ago about your mom's visit..

Your doing great, Actiongirl! I hate head colds and coughs!.. but you're right about how nice it is not to have the GSR's on your back. I was so used to always feeling like and looking like crap and it's been nice to learn what a new normal feels like.. hope you're feeling better soon!

Red, how are you today? I hope you're jumping right back in with us.. not letting that AV drag you back under! Let us know..

There were so many people I wanted to respond to, and now it's gone.. hmmm..

How are your chickens holding up in the freezing weather, Lav? A friend of mine has a bird house on her balcony and a couple of weeks ago she looked in to clean it up a bit and a Blue Tit was laying on her eggs! It had been so unseasonably warm..Poor girl.. it's about 10°F today and I'm not sure they can survive in such cold weather..?

I have an extremely busy and stressful work week but I'm trying to keep it under control with my frame of mind.. For anyone who hasn't yet been over to visit, the 3P's thread is very interesting and has been helping me a lot with living better in the present moment..

ok friends, big hello and hugs to you all!

[KENSHO]

Morning All! Trying to get my head in the game today. School is not in session (why not tack on another day after 2 weeks?!) which keeps the ball from really rolling - but I NEED to focus on work once again. The two weeks off was really helpful for me - MAN I needed a check out. And I didn't have to drink to get it - I just decided that people's rugs and draperies and floor plans could wait! Getting sleep and doing things I loved was nice, but the challenge begins now to integrate "me time" with work. My biggest struggles seem to be when I am seriously overloaded with work - so my biggest goal is to try to time manage and avoid that.

I'm still drinking coconut milk and grass-fed butter with my coffee - and I swear it has made a difference in stabilizing my blood sugar. I haven't had afternoon alcohol cravings for some time (but it could also be related to not working!). My husband and a whole slew of others we know are doing the Whole30 eating plan in February, so I've been trying recipes and they are good. It feels good to eat real, healthy food (and not red dye no. 7 or ferrous sulfate or disodium gauntlate.....what?!!).

JVO - up at 4am? WOW, you have my total admiration. I would rather be fat than get up at that hour, way to go!!

Actiongirl - sorry you are feeling yuck. I still sometimes get sore throats or head colds (though I've rarely been sick in the 2 years I've been drinking a fraction of what I used to) - and I STILL get that voice that says "you will feel better with a shot of ____". Have to kick that voice out quickly. Good for you for doing the same.

ssd - You are going through a really tough thing - sorry. Great job getting through the last week, and lean on us here. As Byrdie said, please make yourself your focus!

Ava - hugs.

Rednose - Glad you're back and moving forward. Most people (myself included) here seem to have had a few or more start-overs before the pendulum swings into the "sick of it enough to finally stop" side. Keep going!

Have a good day Peeps - I'm off to try and organize my desk and prioritize! Bleh.

[rednose]

I am back . Day 1 in the bank working on day 2.

[NoSugar]

Rednose, Welcome right back! I'm glad you realize that it is important for your recovery (and you can recover!) to be completely honest with yourself (and so, with us) about drinking. It is fabulous that you limited the damage and didn't scurry away. One drink is, after all, just one drink and for most of us, that's nuthin'! But if your goal is to be AF, you can't pretend it didn't happen. That is the kind of self-deception most of us practiced for years and look where it got us. I made a pledge when I joined to be entirely honest about my drinking on MWO. I was so sick of lying to myself and living in a way antithetical to everything I believed in. I just had to quit lying (and telling half-truths). Knowing that I would have to post about it if I drank helped me not drink and I realized that if I were to lie here, there was no point in participating. I'm really glad you feel that way, too. All the best, NS

[rednose]

Rednose, Welcome right back! I'm glad you realize that it is important for your recovery (and you can recover!) to be completely honest with yourself (and so, with us) about drinking. It is fabulous that you limited the damage and didn't scurry away. One drink is, after all, just one drink and for most of us, that's nuthin'! But if your goal is to be AF, you can't pretend it didn't happen. That is the kind of self-deception most of us practiced for years and look where it got us. I made a pledge when I joined to be entirely honest about my drinking on MWO. I was so sick of lying to myself and living in a way antithetical to everything I believed in. I just had to quit lying (and telling half-truths). Knowing that I would have to post about it if I drank helped me not drink and I realized that if I were to lie here, there was no point in participating. I'm really glad you feel that way, too. All the best, NS

Nosugar Thanks for the post. Yes one drink is one drink. Yes I need to keep myself honest on here. I am glad I
got 17 days in the bank. So here I am again starting at the beginning.
I need to be accountable to myself and those on this site that have put so much work in for the days they have alcohol free.

Thanks all.

[NoSugar]

You're on "day 1", Rednose, but you're not at the beginning. You've learned a lot from your previous attempts at quitting and from the last 17 days. We can't change the past but we sure can learn from it and move on. You're probably stronger now than you were because you know that you don't need to let a mistake grow into a disaster. That's great information to have.

[rednose]

You're on "day 1", Rednose, but you're not at the beginning. You've learned a lot from your previous attempts at quitting and from the last 17 days. We can't change the past but we sure can learn from it and move on. You're probably stronger now than you were because you know that you don't need to let a mistake grow into a disaster. That's great information to have.

Nosugar,
I am actually working on day 2. I don't count the day until I have completed it.
Yes I think everyday you have af helps.

[ssd858]

Red - try not to get too down on yourself. Think of how many days af you have had in the past month. A little positive spin on it to help get back on track.

[crocster]

Good morning All,

Day 2 for me - no desire for AL yet - the danger time for me starts when I start to feel physically well again and I "forget" the shame I feel when I've let myself down, again - my life for the last couple of decades could be summed up in the phrase "10000 fresh starts". But this time feels different. And by posting here I've come out of the shadows and made a public committment.

J-Vo, thankyou for the welcome

Guitarista, thankyou also. I'm loving the lawnmowing gig. My ass is shaking a little more than I'd like at the moment but I'm heading towards buns of steel for sure. May your sunny disposition continue. I've always liked that quote by Camus that goes "In the midst of winter I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And it makes me happy...". I want some of that too.

ssd, I see in your post that you have been using the book I recommended. I'm sorry for preaching to the converted. I haven't read very far back in this thread. Hope it does the job for you.

Best wishes All

[Guitarista]

I've always liked that quote by Camus that goes "In the midst of winter I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And it makes me happy...". I want some of that too.

Morning Croc. Good work on day 2. That's a great quote and sure is becoming true for me. I see that the more time I put between today and my last drink, the truer those words are. I think it was Confucious who said......"Better to have shaking ass than shaking hands"

Ssd. Amazing job on 8 days off the sauce. My thoughts are with you friend. Take good care of yourself.

Big waves to all!

[crocster]

I remember that name! and the book and the supplements...something I used too. Good to see you Crocster, not especially the circumstance, but I'd wondered how you were going as we were from the same neck of the woods. Best wishes to you.

Hello myhappyplace, thankyou. It's lovely to hear from you. I see from your sig that you're AF from 2011 - the year we both joined MWO? - so huge congratulations - you nailed it.
I had 3 months AF in early 2012 but gradually went back to bumping along the bottom trying to work out a way to not leave my old friend. I've had a few periods of weeks AF and I did cut my consumption in half (way back to just harmful levels :<) but it was never going to work. So I'm back now to finish the job.

I have clean undies (somewhere) and I'm prepared to put them on if you reckon there's room for another in the convict's thread.

Cheers

[Byrdlady]

Here is an interesting article!
Separating from Family Issues


We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary, between our nuclear family and ourselves. We can separate ourselves from their issues.


Some of us may have family members who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs and who are not in recovery from their addiction.


Some of us may have family members who have unresolved codependency issues. Family members may be addicted to misery, pain, suffering, martyrdom, and victimization. We may have family members who have unresolved abuse issues or unresolved family of origin issues.


We may have family members who are addicted to work, eating, or sex. Our family may be completely enmeshed, or we may have a disconnected family in which the members have little contact.


We may be like our family. We may love our family. But we are separate human beings with individual rights and issues. One of our primary rights is to begin feeling better and recovering, whether or not others in the family choose to do the same.


We do not have to feel guilty about finding happiness and a life that works. And we do not have to take on our family's issues as our own to be loyal and to show we love them.


Often when we begin taking care of ourselves, family members will reverberate with overt and covert attempts to pull us back into the old system and roles. We do not have to go. Their attempts to pull us back are their issues. Taking care of ourselves and becoming healthy and happy does not mean we do not love them. It means we're addressing our issues.


We do not have to judge them because they have issues; nor do we have to allow them to do anything they would like to us just because they are family.


We are free now, free to take care of ourselves with family members. Our freedom starts when we stop denying then issues, and politely, but assertively, hand their stuff back to them - where it belongs - and deal with our own issues.


Today, I will separate myself from family members, I am a separate human being, even though I belong to a unit called a family. I have a right to my own issues and growth; my family members have a right to their issues and a right to choose where and when they will deal with these issues. I can learn to detach in love from my family members and their issues. I am willing to work through all necessary feelings in order to accomplish this.


From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[TJAF]

Makes me want to drink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CXo0_ZsWAAAeCUm.jpg

[kuya]

Welcome Crocster! Good on you for making the change... you wont regret it!

I am just over the ditch so we will see a fair bit of each other around the boards.

Rednose... glad you jumped straight back in... keep on trucking my man!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, lots going on here today!

Ssd, I am sorry about your sister but you should be proud of yourself & your effort to help her. You have shown some real strength & done a great job putting together 8 AF days! Hopefully she will change her thinking & make some positive changes in her life as well.

Red, glad you are back on board!

Byrdie, I have separated myself from family just to save myself. One brother called me 'the ultimate bitch' when I kindly & respectfully asked him to stop his drunken Facebook postings. I decided eff him
I haven't seen or heard from him for several years now. I hear he hasn't changed.
Sometimes distance is a really good tool!

TJ, I saw that picture yesterday - very sad

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
LC, my chickens are hanging in during this cold spell. It's currently 16 degrees outside & they don't seem to know the difference, ha ha!!

Lav