Newbies Nest

[available]

Afternoon nesters

byrd loved your post. My mother is guilt on wheels with me, nothing i can do or say is good enough. As i said to my daughter today, we have done nothing wrong, if she chooses not to talk to us it is her problem not ours. I am proud of what i have achieved in 2 years and i will be fecked if she will take that away from me. She can project her unhappiness on me if she chooses and it is now how i respond that matters. I do feel guilty as my father has not spoken to me in over 23 years and my mother seems to dislike me but that does not make me a bad person and i have to get that bit into my head! Still a work in progress but getting there and i know my own children love me dearly. I will not drink AT her no matter what.

SSD a great job on staying sober to help your sister, i hope she sees you as an example to follow. No one understands addiction like an addict.

Well i went to the gym at lunch (should have organised coffee Mr G!). God i can hardly move and i have organised to see a personal trainer for a program tomorrow. I do enjoy the gym though and its at work and very quiet, just what a 51 year old wants.

Well off to do some work. so much to do and no enthusiasm to do it.

Take care x

[j-vo]

Checking in. Day 2 of exercise this morning. It feels good to know I've already got that done, and to boot, feel good even though sleep wasn't great. Ava, good luck with your trainer!

Croc, it seems as though it takes some of us more times to figure it out than others, and I'm one of them. I've had stretches of AF time over the years, but there's no doubt in my mind that I should never drink and this is my LAFQ. Yep. Let's do this.

Have a good day.

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters,

Sunny but very chilly here, that's OK with me
Currently 12 degrees!

Ava, your Mom sounds like an extremely difficult person, my Dad was the same way. No one ever did anything right according to him. It's pathetic to spend your entire life disapproving of everything & everyone. He was seriously one frustrated individual & took it out on all of us. The last thing I ever wanted to be was like him. We are better people, strong & willing to learn from their mistakes!!

Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

That article really was timely for me. My hubs said to me yesterday, "Everyone in your family is really screwed up!" Well, except me!!! You know, he didn't say that, maybe I should go back and get clarification! As I have said many times, my family is nuts....I do consider myself lucky and I'm a blooming Alcoholic!!! Not feeling guilty is hard, but this is survival. I try to remember that they CHOOSE a lot of their own misery....just like I did.

Busy day today....I hit the road tomorrow for my presentation on Thursday. (The Beevis and Butthead Tour)
Hope everyone has a peaceful day!! B

[KENSHO]

Checking in. On the couch with the nasty stomach crud I seem to get every 2years. Bad news... Clients won't be happy and I'm getting behind. Good news... I get to watch as much Antiques Roadshow, Bear Grylls and Cupcake Wars as I can stay awake for. I actually thought to myself... "You get to not just feel better tomorrow, but you will feel doubly better because you are still not drinking."

[TJAF]

I love WebMD and this article echos a lot of the strategies I followed when I first quit. Think of this as cheats for our quit. Don't take all of these literally though...the break it up strategy can be reworked to read, "Don't think of your quit as a lifetime deal when you first start out, rather think about it a day or month at a time" That's something that is preached here all the time. I think we can all ignore number 6 as well. Giving up booze to me is an absolute!

10 Ways to Make Your New Year's Resolutions Stick

[LilBit]

Good luck on your road tour, Byrdie. 'Too bad business road tours can't be like rock-n-roll tours: trashing hotel rooms, adoring fans, etc. But the notion of your eVILL boss throwing his panties at you while you'e onstage should be enough to quell any lingering anxieties about your presentation, yes?

Punching in with 10 AF months. The time is flying by and it's getting easier. My life is transformed. Off to the races!

[actiongirl46]

Hi all - Kensho . . . feel better!! Its that time of year.

Byrdie - Good luck on your presentation. You sound really prepared and I'm sure it will go well. Fake it til you make it!

For any newbies or lurkers out there, here is a MYTHBUSTER: When I was on my AL merry-go-round (pre-MYO) I used to think, "oh, if I could just get sick it would make me stop drinking . . ." Well, I'm here to tell you that I'm pretty sick, not drinking, and it is NOT a good feeling as it doesn't stop around 5pm. Ugh. So if anyone is nursing that crazy myth like I did, let it go, it doesn't work!! Stopping the AL does though.

Stay healthy!! AG

[actiongirl46]

Great job LilBit!!! Didn't you have a real health scare a few months back?? I'm so proud of you for doing so well. Inspiring!

[Struggles 106]

Hello nesters-
I really like it here! So glad Byrdie MADE me come over-kidding of course. And Byrdie is your road trip over this way?
I had an early appt for blood drawing, took the whole day off. Had a lux breakfast, browsed my favorite antique place.. It's ok to be good to myself. I'm liking it!
Day 8...SO hoping to pass my record of being sober as an adult,which is I think about 10 months. I know early on is "pink cloudish" but I'm sticking around here and using my tools

Love to all

Ann

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!

Congratulations on 10 months, Lilbit! So happy for you.. your positive outlook on life is contagious!

Kensho, I hope you're feeling better tomorrow.. you're right about the doubly feeling better. And not having those GSR brothers around and the mental illness they cause is such a relief, isn't it?

Hope you're feeling better, too, Actiongirl! I often think about how crazy it was for me to put myself in that sicker than sick state with drinking.. just thinking about the headaches alone, calling into work with a migraine.. I've never even had a real migraine.

Ann, way to go on 8 days! Nice to take the whole day off and enjoy yourself.. I think it's so important for us to remember to be good to ourselves. I've been taking lots of mini breaks today-- just sitting back for minute to see if everything is ok. And if not, adjusting.. doing some stretching, making a tea. I'm glad you'll be sticking around..

Byrdie, good luck on your presentation!!

I realized today how much easier it's getting-- sobriety .. these past days, there are other things in my life that I've been struggling with, but thoughts of drinking as a solution haven't entered my mind at all. It's only entered my mind as, "hey, I didn't think about drinking once today!".. very cool!

[crocster]

Good morning nesters, Day 3 for me. Thanks for the welcome Kuya, I plan on sticking around this time.

J-Vo, I've remembered why it was I slid back into drinking in 2012 - a feeling of "Is this it?" - a letdown - after 3 months I'd become complacent about the health benefits and came to think that the only thing that had changed for me was I didn't drink any more - and realised that my world had shrunk to the point that drinking was my main recreational activity - sitting on the couch after dinner looking at the crap on the TV guide and thinking "If I don't do anything else now, the next thing I'm going to do is get up tomorrow and go to a job I HATE" - eventually the urge to get stoned won.

I realise now that I didn't have a plan much beyond stopping AL - I thought all the good stuff would just "happen" if I did this one thing. This time around I've put more thought into what I need to do - I've ditched the old career and started a business - bought some fun recreational gear - signed up with a MOOC - and I'll add more as I start getting physically healthy or if I start getting those same feelings back.

Have a good day All.

[Pie]

Welcome back, Crocster! So smart of you to add what you learned last time, to your plan for this time. What part of the world are you in?

[crocster]

Thankyou Pie, I'm in Australia.

Yes I'm really coming to understand that I used AL to mask/cope with a lot of deeper problems in my life and then the AL became a real problem in itself - and I locked into this death spiral. So, for me, I need to address the underlying stuff as well as giving up the booze. I have an appointment to see a psych. Not sure what value it will be as I think I've done enough navel gazing to know what I need to do but I'll give it a go anyway.

I really like the quote which distills what we need to be happy to "Someone or something to love, something to do and something to look forward to."
Cheers

[Quit wining]

Hi Fellow Nesters

Today is day 136 for me. And another birthday.

My day started with my annual physical. I was pleased to find my blood pressure had dropped substantially and I have lost 13 kilograms, almost 29 pounds since quitting alcohol.

For those just starting out, hang in there. It's worth it. Waking up clear headed is so nice after years of dealing with after effects of drinking too much.

Having the support of so many Nesters made this a lot easier and if you can, find a quit buddy. G-Man and I are on the same day of our quits.

Best wishes fellow nesters for a happy, healthy and alcohol free 2016!