Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

. this time it feels different. I do think it would be nice if I could just sit down and enjoy a few drinks but I know that is not where it would stop....having those drinks would lead me to a painful existence that I really don't want to be in again. Life was so shit....now I am living, not everything is perfect but there are possibilities and opportunities ahead that would remain out of sight if alcohol was still in my life.

Awesome post Daisy. I can relate to this so much. Yes, we would like to be able to be a normal drinker, but we now realize that it's never going to happen, was never in the cards for us. And that's ok with me now.The problem I ran into before relapse after relapse was that I didn't accept that at all. I kept fighting it and like Byrd said, we never win. I won't waste anymore of my life fighting something that would end up killing me. I don't want to be all over the place, worrying if I'll do something stupid, doing something really horrifying to my loved ones. No, I want to be the adult that this body and mind has been waiting for for a very long time. I think I'm worth it, as everyone here is. Drinking, being drunk, and recovering from drink is such a huge waste of time.

[j-vo]

Safe travels Byrdie!:victorious: You'll be a rock star tomorrow!

[Guitarista]

. I do think it would be nice if I could just sit down and enjoy a few drinks but I know that is not where it would stop....having those drinks would lead me to a painful existence that I really don't want to be in again. Life was so shit....now I am living, not everything is perfect but there are possibilities and opportunities ahead that would remain out of sight if alcohol was still in my life.

Brilliant post Daisy. This is where I'm at. And they say it only gets better......:thumbsup:

This time, my mind is in the right place. I went back to drinking enough times that I finally arrived at "This takes me to the same damn sucky place EVERY time - and I'm OVER that place!" The "could I's" or "what ifs" still wander in and out at times, but the bottom line is that I know I will never be happy while drinking. And I choose happy.

Great stuff Kensho. This realization that I just end up in the same place EVERY time, and the realization that I don't enjoy being there seems to be finally sinking in for this knucklehead. It can take awhile, so it's important we keep on chipping away at it.

My presentation is TOMORROW! Today I will drive the 4 hours to get there!

Byrdy. The road crew tell me everything is set up just perfect for your arrival. As you know I've arranged for Bob the Iron Maiden front of house guy to handle sound, which is loud and clear and adjusted to the room size, and Evanthia from the Pink Floyd crew tells me the lights and visuals are looking good. Safe travels and all the best with it.

138 and the feelings gr8. Kick some arse Nesters.

[Dutch1988]

Good luck on your trip Byrdy, sales is my least favorite part of my job, but I am sure you will nail that presentation.

Congrats Lilbit on 10 months, it's always been nice to see your posts and compare your thinking to mine, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same perspective, but it's nice to know what someone else is going through.

Congrats on 30 days choices, I wouldn't worry about the weight. I replaced drinking with eating a pint of ben n jerry's ice cream for months(after I cut out soda, haha) it didn't even change my weight. I consumed so many calories from drinking eventually it evened out. I still have a serious ice cream problem though, I am trying to moderate but eventually your going to see a new website domain called mywayout.com/icecream

I went to the psychiatrist again on Monday, here is a perfect example of what not to do folks. I waited to go to a psychiatrist until I felt like I had my shit under control, I wasn't drinking, I was over my wife's miscarriage, not a good idea. What is it about alcoholism and feeling the need to be perfect on the outside to feed an addiction on the inside? Needless to say I decided to get on some meds. I was going in for a.d.d, which the doc said I have but manage my symptoms well. She prescribed me wellbutrin, which takes awhile to kick in. It also doubles for anxiety and depression, which I have a history of as anyone on this forum will know. I am looking forward to something helping me with my concentration at work, I have been working more hours lately and really could use some better focus on my tasks.

Now knowing my blood pressure is at least normal is a lot less stressful, too. I have had some high readings still, close to 140/90, so I am still trying some lifestyle changes. I have been a big tea drinker since I stopped drinking, and now I have been using hibiscus and dandelion root. I actually really like the hibiscus because it tastes good hot or warm. Best of luck to everyone.

[crocster]

Good Morning Nesters, Day 4 here. Sleep is getting better now. Sitting out the back with a coffee at dawn watching the sun come up and listening to a pack of rainbow lorikeets squabble and play. Calm.

ActionGirl, I don't have a lot of experience with "head doctors" but, when seeing other specialities for the first time, I've always made written lists of things I don't want to forget to tell them so that they get "it". "It" being my self-diagnosis of the problem. This time around I think I'm just going to go in and say something like "Alcohol has become a problem in my life and I'm here for help in dealing with it." And then, As Byrdy says, be honest in my answers to questions. I think a good therapist will know how to cut through to the issues that matter. We'll see anyway. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow.

[crocster]

Hi Dutch, I may need to join you on the icecream forum. Every night after dinner now I have a strong desire for something sweet. At the moment yoghurt and fruit is holding me (you can get some seriously good yoghurt nowadays BTW - we're chugging our way through something labelled "Exra Creamy with coconut" - it says there's some lactobacillus in there somewhere but I don't really give a shit - it's sweet). But your post has turned my thoughts to fullcream choc-chip. Somebody stop me.

[j-vo]

Awe c'mon...lets just try to moderate the ice cream! Half a cup here and there with cholocate sauce for me and a little whipped topping, no nuts, no cherry. No abstinence here!:exclaim:

[Byrdlady]

Dutch, I'd like to sign up for your site also....MyWayOut: Ice Cream Bucket Edition. Kicking the bucket?!! No, I scream! (Possible names for your site).....I polished off a bowl of cookies n cream at the Chinese Buffet at lunch. Oy.

Eloise, congrats on your 600 days!! Massive achievement!!! WoooootieHoot!!! :welldone:

Lots of folks reaching personal milestones! Whatever you do, keep it going! You dont want to repeat days you've already done! Stay in uncharted water! Dig your heels in and stay the course! I PROMISE, you wont regret it!

Thank you for the special effects, G!! I will let you know how they are received!! Yall are the best! B

[Struggles 106]

Day 10 here. Keeping on the sane road.

I hope everyone is happy today.

Ann

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

I had a busy but productive day so I am grateful

Byrdie, I hope we get to see your presentation on youtube at some point, ha ha! Good luck to you, I'm sure you will do fine!

Take advantage of all the help you can get in the beginning of your AF journey. This is your life you are saving everyone! You will never regret kicking AL out of your life!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest.

Lav

[actiongirl46]

Difficult evening but I MADE IT! Bring on Thursday please.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Subscribe me to the ice cream forum! And Dutch, sorry I missed your 10 month milestone, too. I thought of you today - I was listening to the bubble hour podcast. Katherine was talking about how bad she felt from 4 - 10 months - anxiety, etc. She eventually found relief from in-person sobriety meetings. I hope you find relief with your process, too. CONGRATULATIONS, and thanks for posting here.

Atta girl, Daisy. You, too, Kensho. Sounding good and strong. We don't drink.

Hi, El. You sound good, throbbing thumb and all.

Struggles - Day 10 is fantabulous. Glad you're here.

Off to bed. Another busy day.

Pav

[j-vo]

Congratulations Lillbit and Dutch on your 10 awesome months.:welldone:

[Choices]

Ok.. how can I possibly loose weight with all this talk of ice cream!! :egad: I did well today eating healthy. So, I know I'll feel better tomorrow.. and did half of this workout class so I'm feeling good about that too. It's all okay as long as I stay sober. I do think working out and eating well is going to help my state of mind. And, I am really glad it's this time of year regarding being AF.. December was filled with land mines. And we survived! I'm considering seeing someone like a therapist for a few times to help me get through some stuff. But still not sure. No cravings at all now! Very, very happy about that. I went to the gym at night.. for a virtual class.. because it fit with my schedule and while I was driving home I thought of how I felt free from that devil angel talk on my shoulders each time I passed a liquor store. To say that felt nice is putting it mildly.. There isn't a devil or angle on my shoulder anymore.. just a small glance and remembering... all the stopping at these places, wasting money, wasting my brain, my body and soul on this drug. I'm so glad my desires are changing.

[Byrdlady]

Gggggggod Mmmorning. nErvous Byrdie here!
My boss is due in an hour and then he head over to the customer.
After the presentation, we are taking them to lunch, then a 4 hour drive home so it'll be late when I report in. All I am shooting for is to NOT pee my pants!

Hugs to all, if I can stay strong, I KNOW you can!! Byrdie