Newbies Nest

[Eloise]

Like button not working, wondering if i can post?

[crocster]

Morning Nesters, 7 days here. It's been a long time since I could say that. At least a year. Had a couple of twinges last night as my partner enjoyed a beer. She wasn't trying to torture me - she doesn't have a problem with AL and has been great in abstaining with me the last week, and into the future. She'd spent the day in the garden at 31C and just wanted a beer - one can of low alcohol - that's just wrong - anything low alcohol for me was just a waste of precious stomach real estate and, anyway, one can was to wash the dust out of my mouth so the wine tasted better. Anyhow I'm pleased to report a few glasses of soda water for me. But a lesson learned was to keep AL out of the house for the foreseeable future.

Eloise, I hear your pain. I have several people now in my life who I can't disconnect from much as I would like to - I keep the contacts with them to an absolute minimum and prepare myself with self-talk along the lines of "It's just 3 hours - it's doable - keep it light and breezy - do not bite on any verbal hooks that are thrown my way - and when it's finished give thanks and wipe the slate". Hope you're feeling better now anyway.
Cheers

[ItsJustMe]

Eloise – there must be at least one in every family. We have a whole group that we have not spoken to in over 10 years – over an estate issue. That seems to always bring out the worst in people – greed I guess. Anyway, you can’t change people – you can only change yourself. So I guess that means adapting to it or building a big ol’ wall.

Day 26 just about done for me. I’ve been all by my lonesome since Wednesday evening and so far I have behaved. No wild parties, no orgies, and most of all, no Al. Life is much less complicated when you leave Al out of the equation. I did hit the gym this morning – but that is about as productive as I have been today. Just couldn’t get in the mood to do anything at all.

Crocster – Congrats on 7 days!!! Just keep stringing them together!

Hope everyone has an awesome evening!
IJM

[available]

Morning nesters

congrats on 7 days Croc. Every single day of the week, woo hoo. When i did my first 7 days i could not stop smiling i had not done that for years and years. Gave me an incentive to keep going for another week. Milestones are important in the first weeks of sobriety.

My son is visiting for the weekend. Proudly to say he is 3 weeks sober. I was worried about him drinking when he came down with his friends but as i thought to myself "it is his choice to drink". I could tell him till the cows came home not to but it was up to him. Happily to say he did not drink and i am so fecking proud of him. Firsts are always hard and at 22 and knowing he just cant drink anymore, i just wanted to burst with pride. We had a good chat this morning about how he felt and some people said have "just one" and he knows himself that one is laughable, he knows he cannot drink, just as i cant. What alcoholic ever drinks one drink! He woke up bright eyed and sober and said how good it feels. He is more positive and looks so much better. I know its early weeks but i think he has got it! Time will tell but he is a determined soul and he loved the compliments of his not drinking. He is setting an example of how it is done.

I had a date last night and after telling this guy i did not drink he asked if i wanted a champagne or something. He got the Linda look and then profusely apologised. Thank god for me it is now automatic to say NO. Life just gets better the sober you are and now i am in control, not al.

El, i tell people now that their behaviour is unacceptable and leave it at that. It shuts them up and hopefully they think about it and what they have said. Be grateful she helped you get sober but dont put up with her shite. We have fought hard for our sobriety and we dont need negative people in our lives as Lav said. She may be jealous of you and what you have achieved so she retaliates by being a cow. Cant pick family sadly to say.

[Byrdlady]

Croc, on behalf of the whole Newbie's Nest, please accept this two-cheeked salute!
:butt::butt::butt:
No butts about it, that first week is tough and now it's behind you! We are so happy that you came out on top! Keep up the great work!
Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Gr8 job on 7 days Croc! Keep it going.

26 days IJM......Raawkin it!

Onya Ava!

Beautiful day here downunder. Big waves to all.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had no plans but ended up with 3 grandkids here today & all the noise that comes along with them - fun

Crockster, CONGRATS on your 7 AF days!!!
That's a major accomplishment, keep moving forward & you'll have no regrets

Eloise, glad you are OK. We can't make anyone stop drinking but we can show them what it's like to be a non-drinker!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[actiongirl46]

Great job Crocster! I just had my seven days last month, feels great doesn't it?

IJM, I'm right behind you, don't look back : ) Nice job on keeping your AF routine even when your spouse was gone. That would be hard for me.

Ava, I'm so so so happy for your son. Three weeks is a nice stretch of time to get a new mindset going and new habits (speaking for myself : ) Good for him.

I am well, learning lots, having all AL out of the house has been key for me this time. Looking forward to a clear head tomorrow. Also finally feeling better from the monster cold, hope you are too Overit.

[Eloise]

I did an hour of yoga before bed and woke up feeling quite good.
I will continue to avoid SIL at all costs. My husband called her in the afternoon and she did not mention anything at all about our meeting. I swear she just cannot remember ANYTHING anymore, which is rather convenient when one behaves like a little troll.

It is over.
We have a mild day here and are headed for a Sunday walk in the woods.
God bless us all and cheers to sane living folks!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

It's a dark & rain filled Sunday here but that's OK - better than snow!

AG, you sound good! Keep doing what you're doing

Same to you Eloise!
Stay focused & happy!

Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[Samstone]

how do all??!!
just read this and thought it might be helpful:

https://www.deepakchopra.com/blog/article/5509

be well and sober!!
Sam

[Byrdlady]

Sam, who knew Deepak was so....deep? Thanks for that article. Getting sober really does involve reaching way down to our core in order to succeed. Setting my mind on zero tolerance helped. That was the goal, I just needed the tools to achieve it.

Keep it going is all I can say. Dont think you've got this thing beat, you will NEVER outsmart AL! (Learned that the hard way). Accept this and move on, it has been the best decision Ive ever made! Why play with dynamite? It will eventually blow up and we are not only back at square one, but starting over having done damage and having lost precious time. Dont let AL determine who you are. Its just stuff in a glass. We do not need it for anything to be improved, in fact it does just the opposite.

Hubs and I were having lunch downtown yesterday. We sat next to a group who was getting quite loud. The guy next to me ordered another round for the table. When the waitress came back to check on them, this guy said, 'The first three beers were very bitter, but this one is much better'. I had to laugh to myself...Mind you, we were at LUNCH! This is why we cant moderate.....what happens after we have a couple? Our judgement is impaired. What do alkies do when their judgement is impaired? We have another. Aye, aye, aye.....Im glad Im out of that prison. I cant imagine how much their check was!

Hope everyone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

As I was driving around yesterday I heard a snippet of a radio show that was a history of AA. Pretty interesting. The revolutionary part of AA was dealing with a health issue through a community. Rather than the teacher and the learner, all AA members are both teachers and learners. Every time we post here, we are helping someone and also getting help ourselves. Humbling. Thanks for being here with me, nesters. There was another story of a guy who quit who spent the first two months being ok and then spent a couple of months sort or an emotional wreck, crying every night, etc. His take on it was that he had been able to block his emotions for so long that once they started coming out he couldn't stop them. I didn't have quite that experience, but it reminded me what DID happen - I felt WORSE after a couple of months and for a while. That was hard to take. What helped me through it was knowing others who were able to say "me, too" and to have the examples of the successful sober people here to lead me through.

We went out for my husband's birthday last night with a bunch of friends. I lost track of who said it, but I get that feeling of being a little more awkward socially. I can tell you that it took a long time, but I am SO much better at it now. We had such a great time, laughing and checking in with everyone. I was DD and my husband had too much to drink. Seeing him sort of stumbling around as he was getting ready for bed and knowing how he is going to feel today - I am very happy I will not be feeling that way.

EL - handled it like a pro. Ava - I can't imagine having that much strength at 22. Glad your son has you. Congratulations all you milestoners - Croc 7 days is amazing. Hi, Matt.

Happy Sunday, folks. Cold and wet here - so grateful for some rain.

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!

It's been cold, grey and rainy in my part of the nest, too, today.. it was perfect, completely supporting my plan to do a whole lot of nothing!
After a long, exhausting week it was just what the doctor ordered..

Ava, that's great to hear about your son and his 3 AF weeks.. so nice that he has you to look to for support. I sure would have loved to have stopped drinking at that age!... I was definitely far enough along that I needed to, but I was still too busy convincing myself that everything else was the problem. Strength to him and to both of you!

Pav, thanks for bringing that up.. I had such a long cry today , STILL trying to get over a heartbreak. I can tell it's getting better, but slowly. It's so difficult at times to sit with the sadness and the pain.. but today I realized that it actually feels good to be letting myself fully experience the emotions. I've been running away from them for so long.. if not with drinking, with other unhealthy distractions. And I've learned (am learning) with sobriety that the only way out is through.. so I have hope (because it IS working with not drinking) that if I am patient and get through the hard parts, the other side will be much better, worth it..

I felt fortunate that I could share that with my younger (11) daughter today, too. She is at her dad's house this weekend and called me up feeling sad with the anticipation of her dad being away for 2 hours this evening while her older sister is busy with homework. She has a bit of a problem with boredom and of feeling lonely. Often, when her dad has to be away, she comes to spend the night with me but tomorrow morning I have to leave so early that it wasn't a good option. I could have also gone over to his and I would have if necessary.. but first I asked her if she knew why she was so sad?.. no.. had she been the whole day or did it just start?.. just started.. I asked if she could imagine anything that might make her feel better?.. not really.. I said, listen, why don't you go in your room, turn on some nice music and sit down at your desk to paint (which she loves to do). I told her that sometimes when I'm sad and I don't know why it helps me to change what I'm doing.. she agreed to try and then call me back later.. she called an hour later in a very different mood, after having eaten and beginning a water colour of a sunset.. her sister made time to throw the ball around a bit and everything was ok.. I was happy (though unsure at first if I was doing the right thing) that I let her, and I think helped her, to deal a bit with her discomfort and sadness.. I told her then that I'd also had a long cry today and that that in itself had made me feel better.. she said it was the same for her. It's hard because I want the girls to be happy! But of course they can't always be, can they?

I hope everyone is having a relaxing Sunday..

[KENSHO]

Hi! Looks like lots of good stuff to read! I feel bad that I don't have to time to dig in now, but I wanted to say that:

Everything is better without alcohol. EVERYTHING.

Check in more later!