Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Checking in as well. Thanks for the wonderful posts. Day 83, the year I graduated from high school. OMG...really?!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Had a break in the rain action for a bit but now there is very cold weather blowing in - Brrrr!!

Great to see folks checking in & showing how this AF business works
No hangovers & nothing to regret, just perfect!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[crocster]

Good Morning Nesters, 8 days here. And a big thankyou to everyone who gave me encouragement and a pat on the back for my first 7. Coming back here and "coming out" rather than lurking has been a big part of maintaining the resolve I started with. Compass now adjusted and sails trimmed for 30 days.

Ava: It's great that your son "gets" it at such a young age. An Aunt of mine gave me a book on typical character traits in adult children from alcoholic homes when I was 35. It was a big light bulb moment for me but I didn't try to modify my drinking till 2011 - 25 years later. My partner's daughter is well on the way to having a problem with alcohol but is very resistant to any input from her mum or me. It's saddening to watch the pattern repeating, knowing how it ends up and not being able to help.
Cheers
Croc

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters!

I hope everyone has a great AF day ahead!

RIP David Bowie, sad to hear of his passing.

Lav

[daisy45]

Hi Nesters. Taking time to get back to full health after being sick at Christmas....feeling better today.
My son is in hospital...overdid it at bootcamp and got severe head and chest pains. He is waiting for a lumbar puncture to rule out bleeding.....hopefully all ok.
Ava, so glad to hear your son is on his way.....good for him!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Hitting the ground running this morning! I don't know how I used to do it operating at about 60%.
Hope everyone has an easy day! Daisy, you are approaching your personal record, no? So proud of you!!! Keep up the great work! Byrdie

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!

Byrdie, I'm also not sure how I did it.. Any time I try now to imagine doing my life with a hangover, geeeze. Nightmare. I'm a bit tired to day but that's just 'cause I went to bed a bit too late and the weather is less than desirable.. but that's it. So I'll lay my head down for a little power nap and be good as gold..

Lav, I was also very sad to hear about David Bowie.. I hadn't even realized he was sick. His music was a big part of my early teenage years and I always liked what I knew of him as a person..It's nice that we're able to listen to music at work and that's all we heard today.

Crocster, great going on 8 days! Your ship is definitely headed in the right direction.. let us know asap if your compass, in any way, begins to tell you something else!! I think you're right on with what you said about coming out and posting. It's been the difference for me, too.

83 is awesome, J-vo! So looking forward to celebrating 3 months with you next week!

So nothing too exciting going on here.. we're finally going to take the Christmas tree down tonight. I sure love the light it brings this time of year..cheers up the grey days.. I'm trying to think of something to put in its place until late spring!

I need some ideas for dinner tonight, too. Anyone have something yummy planned?

Ok. hugs to all you Nesters, fly-byers, lurkers..

[daisy45]

Thanks Byrdie....my last quit was 71 days and the one before that I got 89 days.....so 90 is my biggie!
My sister came round yesterday....I had a day at home alone and was looking forward to it. She came in with her wine...5 hours later, I was pulling my hair out! This has happened a few times and it is doing my head in. I don't mind an hour or so but when you are sitting in the one spot for that amount of time.......my girls were not happy with her...not sure how to handle it. She doesn't do anything offensive but the only way to make that situation tolerable is to drink so I know I have to address it. She knows I am not drinking so I suppose she is being offensive by expecting to sit so long.

[actiongirl46]

Happy clear headed Monday morning in this part of the nest! Daisy and J-vo, I look forward to celebrating with you both!! Great job, its not easy and you are showing us how its done. Thank you.

Lifechange, one idea I just heard of for replacing the Christmas tree is to make it into a Valentines tree (if you celebrate VD). My friend and her young daughter redecorated their tree with red and white. They also cut out the family and friend pictures from their Christmas cards and put them into heart frames for the tree. I've never heard of that so thought I'd pass it on . . . surely wouldn't fly in my house of all males, ha ha.

Last night I "discovered" a thread called "I don't miss . . ." or something like that in the General Discussion. I think Autumn bumped it up and it is EXCELLENT for us newbies!! One thing really interested me. I get why so many posted that they don't miss the physical stuff (e.g. hangovers, operating at 60% or less, the bizarre behaviors AL brought out in them, etc.)

My question or wondering is . . . so many of the posters mentioned they don't miss the self-hate. I'm not talking GSRs here, I'm talking waking up at 4am full of self-hate even if nothing too bad happened other than you drank. Maybe didn't even get drunk. I know many people who drink and may occasionally drink too much but they don't wake up with self-hate. Is that something that we are prone to? Is that something that chronic and heavy AL use causes? What has been your experience with self-hate (if you have felt it and feel comfortable sharing) and why do you think that happens?

[j-vo]

Croc, good on your 8 days!

Ava, glad to see your son is following in your footsteps. That has to be super tough at such a young age. Shows how strong he is, but imagine if he hadn't had you as a role model. He wouldn't see all of the good it's done for you and family.

Daisy, hope your son is feeling better today.

Yes, David Bowie RIP.

Action, I can relate to the self hate. I had it even when I wasn't drunk, or hungover. I didn't like the person I was or continued to be. The self-loathing never went away during the week, and weekends, it was worse. It did gain momentum the longer I drank. I'm glad to say I woke up at 4 a.m. This morning to exercise, and no self hate in site.

Have a great day Nesters.

[KENSHO]

Hiya peeps. Good weekend here. Lots of outings and not a desire to drink for me. In fact, I have been coming out of my shell - and feeling like I'm enjoying being social more than ever.

Actiongirl - I think the self hate comes when drinkers make deals with themselves they cannot keep. Many drinkers don't try to stop. But when you constantly tell yourself you'll do something and do another thing... well I know I wasn't very hip on myself during my fails (which was most nights).

LC - I *loved* your story about talking with your daughter about painting. Not that it was probably fun or easy - but that you were CAPABLE of offering her solid advice and nurturing that required some thought and presence. I feel badly that I was not good at this for my kids for a long time. But I notice how I am able to help them more now.

My stomach just hasn't been right since being sick last week. I'm trying new recipes for this Whole30 thing we will do in Feb. - and wondering if it's something I'm eating. Anyway - all else pretty good here. Just trying to focus on work at work time, and play at play time.

Stay strong! It's worth it!!

[JackDanielsGirl]

Hat in hand, tail tucked.......I am sure you know the rest of the story.

Day 2, and we are off. Trying to sort out some issues; however, I finally know the reason behind this one. My 18 yo son has gone to work in New Mexico and won't be home for 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS!!!!!! How do mother's do this. I know I can talk on the phone and face time, but he has always been here. He did not even sleep over at friends houses when he was growing up. The good news if there is any, my 24 yo daughter is here, she still lives at home, and he is out there with his dad. She works 7 on 7 off, so those 7 off are going to be rough. Need a job or hobby or SOMETHING!

I was reluctant to come back here but I didn't think it was fair to yall (NO I am not tooting my own horn). I believe it is important to share our struggles and strengths, successes and failures. I see so many with long time success, and for a while I thought this was the one (the last quit), boy was I wrong. There are many who come here just as I am and you have always been supportive and I hope it remains the same for me. Yes my family has beat me up emotionally, once again and I don't blame them. I am a stay at home mom and have been for 4 years.

ANY AND ALL suggestions for busy hands will be accepted. Off to the toolbox for now, maybe I will memorize it, that should take a while. Not trying to make light of this situation, just trying to have an upbeat attitude and make it one day at a time.

Will check in later.......
JDG

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello Nesters,

It's great to see a lot of action here. Good ol times and plenty of new faces. I am so glad that the place is still buzzing with life and support for all those who need it.

For those who don't know me, I am an alcholic, someone who was drinking every day, passing out every day ... Functional alcoholic is the right word for me. I recall on every business travels I uses to check in with a 12 pack of beers. My room in morning used to be filled with empty bottles as I used to rush for business meets. At home I used to hide and drink alone.

Thatz who my life was about 2.5 years back. I hit my low was desperate , found MWO and began my wonderful journey to recovery. It was hard, I tripped so many times but hung on. Thanks to so much support here and useful info I could live and alternate sober life. That alternate soon became my main life as today after 1.9 years of sobriety I am so glad booze is not in my life.

I literally learned to re live, booze was every where. Moment clock turned 4 in evening I was thinking of beer. How to have it where to have it ... First on my way back home. Knew every shop,every brand every bar ! Re learinig to love was hard but I tool upon it as a challenge, hooked to coffee.... Then left that too ... Then got hooked to sports and cycling. Recently I fell due to that and fractured my knee.
Past 3 months of recovery from fracture was almost as hard as my recovery from alcholism. They say your knee is never the same and same is true for us alcpbplics. I will always be a recovering alcoholic just like my knee who will always get better but may not be what it was.

But seeing life in its true colors and seeing its ups and downs has been a beautiful experiance. I think about MWO and that ks everyone all the time for the wonderful support

I may not be so regular here but I sure like to pop in and say hi.

My knee is better and I have started cycling again so looking forward to some good sober trips ...

[Eloise]

Hey cool to see you posting Rahul, nice! Sorry about your injury, I have had my fair sure of injuries lately.
I never posted it here but I almost killed my dog before we moved. She is fine, although I am not sure she will ever look at me with those unconditional trusting eyes ever again. Bottom line, we are both still alive. I love her.
It was rainy cold day today and it feels good to plan on a quiet night at home and it actually happens.

having to make a bit of an effort to post tonight, it is rather chilly in my new 'office.'
Looks like things are moving forward for everyone more or less.
I am feeling very grateful for our quiet little village and lovely apartment. Peace out!

[daisy45]

Son's tests back all clear....he got out of hospital...a relief!