Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Red nose, everyone's journey looks different, but our goals are the same. You've had great success thus far, remember all the good each day you didn't drink. Write down all of the benefits you had/have as a sober person. Think of your health and the good you're doing for your body. Keep going, stay here and read, and make your sobriety top priority. You can do this, and we all can. So glad you're here.

LC, I really liked the post that Autumn wrote. Love that visualization. Effective!

Moni, you sound great. Keep it going. I LOVE fancy breakfasts! Treat yourself as you deserve it.

Action, we're going to have good and bad days, but being sober, we have way more good days than bad. Keep it going sister.

Mom had a rough night last night. I was right there with her and my dad, providing support to both of them as needed. I would not have been able to be so helpful in my drinking days, and I'm happy I can do this for them. It hurts to see, but I am right there, clear-headed, and emotionally strong when I need to be. Sobriety is a gift, especially right now.

Have a nice day.

[actiongirl46]

Happy unhung (blue??? didn't know about that one Moni please explain : ) Monday!

J-vo - Is your mom ill?? Sorry to pry and feel free to pass. I really like your new picture, very colorful. I'm going to make today a good day, thanks for the reminder. I also really like your first line to Red "we all have the same goals" so true.

LC - I usually listen to bluegrass, but last night on the dog walk I put on my son's pop stuff which was very peppy compared to a bunch of mandolins and banjos!! I was even dancing down the street to Black-eyed Peas. I'll have to add that one to my "distraction bucket". I made my stand-by chocolate chip cookies. It was a good batch judging by how many are left!

Overit - what is going on?? Still busy with work?

Red - What is your plan for today? Feeling good? I always wish I could transfer my clear-headed morning feeling to the witching hour . . . someday!

Lav, Pav, Ava, Byrdie, Matt, anyone else I missed - have a great day! AG

[NoSugar]

I heard a quote yesterday that relates to the difficulty of forgiving ourselves for the past. I don't remember it exactly but it was generally this:

When the light goes on for you, don't beat yourself up about what you didn't see or broke as you stumbled around in the dark. Be grateful for the light.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, all!
Rednose,over the years on MWO, I've been accused of being a hard-arse, intolerant, AF Special Agent. All I can say to that is 'Thank you'. I have found that only ONE mindset works with addiction: Zero Tolerance. Failure is not an option. Until I put my head in THIS space, I couldnt get it. If I left that door open the slightest bit, it got pried open.
If you have ever watched The Dog Whisperer or the thing with the Nannies, you can see that a lot of this is taming behavior. Its the same with this, that AL Voice has got to be told that it isnt going to win....not this time, not ever. Until I got into this mindset, I was not able to overcome this addiction. Its a real paradigm change, because AL IS how I coped, and the thought of not having that mechanism was scary. Im here to tell you, when you tell that inner voice that wants you to fail to go to hell, you can move into the next phase of recovery. I told myself I was just going to have to find another way, AL was not an option. It worked.

Ive seen 1000's of people come and go around here, MOST relapse. I dont like those statistics, but I dont have to be one of them. Staying with my support here, helping others, and maintaining my HELL NO stance on AL has been the key to my sobriety. Everyone has it in him to succeed, you have to want to be sober MORE than you want to drink. Narrily's byline says it best...'.You can have the life you want, or you can drink'.

You can do this!
Hope everyone has a peaceful day.

[Lavande]

Greetings Nesters

The day started out at a brisk 16 degrees here - that is cold in these parts. The sun is out trying to warm things up a bit!!!
Trying to get some necessary work done today & keeping my almost 5 year old granddaughter entertained so I am busy, ha ha!

Stick with your plans everyone & know that life does indeed get better when we get back in the driver's seat
Have a wonderful AF Monday!

Lav

[Overit-still]

I am finally able to breathe without coughing. I went back to the gym today. I intend to make this a habit again. The last 2 years have been really rough and I feel like a gopher who is sticking his head up out of the ground. I KNOW I have said all of this before but I really am sick and tired of feeling like crap. I don't even know who I am anymore. My mother's illness had been really bad the last 2 years and 2 years ago on 1/9 is when I pulled my groin. It took 4 months before I could walk without a limp or pain. It took a year before I could lunge. I still have some sensitivity. Up until that point I was in the best shape of my life. Since then, I kind of went into a depression, caring long distance for my mother and being injured, I thought I needed to take care of (treat) myself. I have been a gluton with my eating and drinking. I am pulling myself back up by my boot straps! I started my sober recount after my Nyquil. I know I said I wouldn't be OCD about it but when Byrd mentioned that I should be careful with the Nyquil and the AB together because of the AL in Nyquil, I stopped taking my AB. Then I realized that maybe I was taking the Nyquil because it kind of knocked me out the way my drinking made me pass out. If I have to quit taking my AB because of the AL in something, that's a huge clue. I want to be COMPLETELY clean and sober.

Anyway, if anyone is interested I finally found a great sober time clock that you can use for a multiple of things. It's free on the Iphone if you have one. It's called "Days Since" Very nice. It takes it down to the seconds. And, it will count the time until something too. So I have my sober days on there and the days until my next Triathlon.

AG-yes, very busy at work until the end of April. It's good in one way because it keeps me busy and at work through the witching hours. It's bad because it's extremely stressful and I eat ALOT!

PAV-That is so heartbreaking. I will be praying for you peace.

I have lots to get done today so I have to run. Have a great day everyone.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Quick check in on this day we honor MLK. I will be working most of the day but will also get some time to cook and hang out with my family. We had a nice little memorial for our dog yesterday - thanks everyone for the well-wishes.

Overit - You've had a hell of a couple of years.

Rednose - stick with it. You sound like you're recovering faster. Check out the Bubble Hour with John Kelly about the science of addiction. Very informative.

NS - that is a lesson I am stubbornly learning. I sure like to be hard on myself.

Still raining here - like gold falling from the sky.

Happy Monday.
Pav

[JackDanielsGirl]

Morning all,

Busy day here again, but not complaining you the idle hands logic and all. I received a call this morning and my resume is being considered for a position, very thankful, but not stressing if it is His will it will happen.

Cold here today with a few flurries. Amazing how just a few flakes improves the mood and attitude.

Welcome back Red hang with us, together we can do it.

Check in later. Working as hard to make this quit stick as I did to drink.
JDG

[crocster]

Good Morning Nesters,

Had my first real test of resolve last weekend - a weekend away visiting relatives of my partner in her small home town - they can all talk underwater for several hours without scuba gear - couple of visits to local sports clubs - but I'm happy to say that, while I don't much like diet coke, that was what I drank.

Welcome back Rednose - for me this has been a process rather than a single lightbulb moment - every day without AL is a bonus anyway and, I believe, eventually we will get there. This time certainly feels different for me.

Pavati, I'm sorry to hear your dog passed away. It took me back to losing mine many years ago. I remember feeling surprised and a little guilty that I felt his loss as painfully as my father's a couple of years earlier. Their unconditional love is unique.

Have a good day all

Croc

[j-vo]

I'm typing this for all Newbie's, including myself. I have time to think while I'm here with folks. Maybe a little too much time, but this is what I was thinking of this morning:

I see Mom not being able to do much of anything anymore. She used to golf, run around to different stores as she always had some new project, whether it was for the house or just little improvements she'd like to make. Always busy doing something. Mom and Dad are big foodies, so they had so many great restaurants they visited. There are so many things Mom can't do anymore, like eat a hamburger or eat much of anything. Everything needs to be put in a blender before she sips her dinner. It's heartbreaking to see. She doesn't have a choice anymore. This is what it is.

We, Newbie's, have a choice. We have a choice to go out and do everything we want to do. Eat what we want. Enjoy activities we like. There is only one thing we cannot do. We can't drink. Only one thing. We can do everything else. Don't voluntarily give up your opportunity to live as much life as possible. Do it now. We don't know when our opportunities will be taken away. Don't have anymore regrets. Let's look ahead and not lose anymore life.

We were watching a commercial of this hamburger place and I could have put my hand through the tv to grab the darn hamburger it looked so good, and I said, "OMG, that looks delicious!" I felt BAD because mom will never be able to eat a hamburger like that ever again. Let's live life and enjoy hamburgers and people and responsibilities. Let's unchain ourselves from a poison that does us no good, makes us sick, and takes our life away.

[NoSugar]

J-vo, I've been having similar thoughts. My mom's short-term memory is failing and this weekend I watched as she tried to "cover-up". It made me so sad to see her this way and sick that I could see what was going on because I've been there - by choice.

[Eloise]

Good morning, all!

Ive seen 1000's of people come and go around here, MOST relapse. I dont like those statistics, but I dont have to be one of them. Staying with my support here, helping others, and maintaining my HELL NO stance on AL has been the key to my sobriety. Everyone has it in him to succeed, you have to want to be sober MORE than you want to drink. Narrily's byline says it best...'.You can have the life you want, or you can drink'.

You know this is not nice to read, most relapse. Unfortunately, she is right.
Because I wanted this to be untrue I did a lot of reading about this; good grief, it is not good.
So, all I can say is Amen. Think of this as the fight of your life because that is really what it is.
Thanks for posting, you are an angel Brydie.

[jane27]

A special treat to share with my fellow Nesters.. on the eve-of-the-eve, of our very own Byrdie's 5 year sober anniversary I bring you this gem from the Nest archives:

I hate to brag....(not really)

i only have a minute, but thanks to all here (as well as my Blow Pops) I went to a neighborhood party Friday night and did not drink anything but diet coke!!! Please note that this is the first party I have been to since HIGH SCHOOL (I"m 50) where i didn't drink. I had my story ready that I was trying the detox diet, no booze, caffeine, chocolate, blah, blah....but no one said a thing. I am soooo proud of myself! This is the longest sober stint I've had since high school! 12 big days! The real test is coming next week, I have a company conference where the booze flows like water. I will need every ounce of hootzspa we've got to get thru that. I just don't want to mess up my date below! Mollyka, a real tool that is, I had no idea! Can you imagine if I come back next week with day1??? i COULDN'T do that to the nest!! I have peeps to account to! Love you all, will check in later. (up to 3 pops a day now).

Byrdie made this post on July 18th 2010...6 months prior to January 20th 2011, also known as her forever Quit Date.

Who could ever possibly imagine our Byrdie struggling through those challenging early days and weeks? And this wasn't even the quit that stuck! She did not let a slip stop her from reaching her goal, to break free from the clutches of alcohol. And she has done just that.

I love the classic Byrdie humor ofcourse(I hate to brag....(not really) ...but what really moves me about this post- what I find so empowering- is the fact that this is exactly how I felt 12 days into my quit, and even now, 2 years into my quit. There is never going to be a good time or an easy time to quit drinking- but its something of a relief to know that for each of us, the journey is exactly the same. Getting sober takes steel resolve. I never really cared for the AA expression One Day At A Time because it seems so non committal and open ended (anything could happen tomorrow!). What I have learned from all the good peeps here on MWO and especially from Byrdie has given me a different view on that expression. I don't have a tidy or elegant one liner for it, but I would describe it best as waking up each and every day like a soldier ready for what the day has to bring. To get sober all you have to do is commit to psyching yourself up EVERY day to being sober. It is NOT easy in the beginning. It is HARD HARD HARD. It becomes exponentially easier with time. I can't think of a single, similar example of something difficult that becomes so much easier...but if you could possibly take the fact of it in good faith... For Byrdie things clicked on day 13. For me, 4 months is when my white knuckling grit started to return money on the initial investment. At that point, I could not imagine having to start all over again, and I could very well imagine maybe never wanting to.

I hope this doesn't sound like a Jerry Macguire; I just feel so positively jacked when I read that post because to me it means that we all have it in us.

xoxo

[j-vo]

Awesome, Jane!!! Byrdie :welldone:

[available]

morning nest

J congrats on your 90 days, keep up the great work. Dealing with your family sober is the only way, al will solve absolutely nothing, remember that when times are tough and they will be along the way. Very proud of you! x

Mr. G 150 days woo hoo to yoo too.

Pav i am so sorry about you puppy, sending you hugs from across the waves.

Red, i always think when people drink and come back, why, as in why did they drink? For me it is because I would wander off from my support network and lose the accountability so therefore gave myself permission and the option and approval to drink. As soon as i realised that i needed to be accountable and be where my support network is then life became easier. Logging in every day for over two years now has kept me sober. People say to me "you got sober by yourself" but i always say "no, my drinking site (as i call it) and my cyber friends have been with me since day 1". I could never have done this by myself.

Nora, i loved the way you said "you told him and I won't be drinking". If we have the control we wont let ourselves down. Everything is in place for a great wedding and it will be great.

Hi moni and welcome back. One day at a time is all we can do when we start.

At work now but checking in. Bit of a heat wave happening here but life is good, its nice to say that 3 weeks into 2016.

Take care x