Newbies Nest

[TJAF]

Moni and Kensho hang in there it gets easier with time. Temptations are normal and Kensho I remember all to well trying to romanticize drinking as if that was the only way I could enjoy a moment. Well temptations are fleeting and the romance is more like a one night stand, it might feel good for a moment but boy do you feel like crap in the morning.

I also think it's not a good plan to think you can talk yourself out of drinking by thinking of a single drink as "shit in a glass" I love the sentiment but at least for me, at that point in my sobriety, deep down I knew that was a lie. Booze was still my best friend and I so loved my best friend. What worked for me was accepting the realization that I can't stop with just one drink. I had to think through the whole process. I'd have that one drink and knew that as soon as I took that first sip I'd be thinking about the next drink. That's the short and sweet secret that has gotten me to this point and while I now can think of booze as "shit in a glass" it wasn't always that way. Stay strong my friends!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I have to agree wholeheartedly TJ - that first sip starts you thinking about the next drink. Do I miss that shit? NO WAY!!!

Hang in Kensho & Moni. I want you guys to be just like our fabulous Byrdie & look forward to a big 5 year AF celebration

Eloise, there is no romancing the wine bottle for us anymore & that is perfectly OK with me. How about you?

Wishing everyone a safe & warm night in the nest!!!

Lav

[j-vo]

Kensho, we can't worry about others agreeing or disagreeing with us. It's none of their business anyway. But...people are always going to have their views and opinions, agree or disagree. All we need to do is know that drinking isn't for us, and I think all of us at MWO pretty much agree!

[LilBit]

Byrdie, you're my hero, too. I've looked up to you from the very first moment that I fluttered into the nest with my feathers all matted and you warmly greeted me. Your unabashed honesty, wise advice and gentle (sometimes not-so-gentle) nudging help so many people -- probably many that you don't even know. And, you're gorgeous and smart, too, you Hussy! 5 years! Wowzers. If we moon for one week, what do we do for 5 years? [Hides head and trembles at the thought]

Pav, I feel your loss and I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose a pet -- so worth it to have them in our lives -- but so hard. I'm glad you didn't have the AL effects to bring you down even more. It's funny how people think AL is a comforter. What bunch of baloney. Anyway, hugs to you and I hope your furry friend is out gallivanting in a heavenly field somewhere.

Lav, keep your feathers fluffed to stay warm. Goodness, it sounds cold over there. Your beak is chattering.

Red, there's no shame here in the nest, and glad to see you back in it. Always a welcome twig for you. Keep at it. You never know which quit is the one that will stick, but rest assured, if you keep trying, one will.

Matt, I haven't posted anything to you lately, but I always read and follow your posts. You're a brave man for facing the things you do in the way that you do. Getting counseling alone is daunting for many people. Keep showing us freaks how to stay hard.

As for me, I had to reschedule my check-up appointment because of a schedule conflict. I really wanted to get it over with, but there was just no way to do it. Now, I'll have to wait until the second week in Feb to see the doc. I keep telling myself that worry doesn't help...not to think about it...etc. Most of the time, I'm able to do it, but sometimes it creeps into my dreams at night. Staying busy helps. Just like the AL, the more time that I put between me and that cancer diagnosis, the better I'll feel.

Happy hump day, tomorrow. Hopefully, it's a short week for everyone.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Evening all,

Just a quick check-in before bed. All is well here. Still cold and forecasted freezing rain/snow. Time to climb in my warm bed.

Have a sober night
JDG

[moni]

Byrdie - I remember you on here when I was very active a few years ago. You were fantastic support.
Congrats on 5 years! What a fantastic achievement. :welldone:

[j-vo]

Byrdie, THANK YOU. :hug: My 5 years on 10/20/20 and I'll get there because of your amazing support and others here at MWO.

I'm a great aunt!!! My sister is a grandma! I won't see the baby until I go back north, but he's a health baby boy. I can't wait to hold him, spoil him, and LOVE him. Have a good day nesters.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
As I check in here today (as I have done every day for 5 years....HINT, eheheheh) I am amazed at the power of this little thread. It has given me the skills and knowledge to get, and stay, sober for my first 5 years. As I look back, my sincere gratitude goes out to the woman who taught me what gratitude is. Lav, your unwavering support and this thread ARE WHAT WORKED FOR ME. You are the first one to greet us in the morning and the last one to tuck us in at night. For a recovering alcoholic, this structure is important....it certainly was to me. THANK YOU for your endless well of patience, knowledge and empathy. Without GRABBING on to you, I would not be here. I am forever grateful.

Alcoholism reminds me of an iceberg. Other people only see the tip of it. What is below the surface runs long and deep. It takes a lot of repeat conditioning to melt it away (or most of it) so that new behaviors can happen. You don't just forget 30 years of behavior, but I can tell you with certainty, at 5 years, it's a really good beginning. Today, I am more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been. AL thoughts are infrequent and when I do have them, I turn them around into something I can use to post about here. Writing my thoughts out here has been one of the 4 corners of sobriety for me. If I'm thinking it, somebody else is, too. Writing here has given me benchmarks by which to measure my headspace at different mileposts. I can look back and see how much I've grown just by reading my own posts. Staying in the same thread instead of starting my own (where they get lost in a hurry) gives me an easy way to do that. My entire journey has taken place in THIS thread.

As most of you know, I am in sales. There's no better way to motivate a salesperson than by incentives. I had plenty of incentives to quit before Jan 20, 2011....but the ultimate one came when I got the ultimatum by my husband. I was faced with quite a dilemma.....a dilemma is having to make a choice between 2 undesirable outcomes. If I really think about it, how sad is it that it came down to that? Sad Outcome #1= No ALCOHOL. Sad Outcome #2= Divorcing my husband of 24 years, selling the house, and most likely die of an AL related illness (which I was already beginning to have). To a NORMAL drinker, this would be a no brainer, but to an addict, it was a difficult choice. I face the same choices today.....that hasn't changed. But today, there is NO sadness in my heart. I rejoice that AL doesn't hold the same death grip that it did 5 years ago. When I made that decision then, I knew I had to LET IT GO. This has been one of the top 3 best decisions I ever made. There is NO downside to being sober....NONE! I'm not missing out, I am participating! I'm not antisocial, I'm out there! I'm not tense, I am serine! I have MINDPEACE. (Plus, I'm about $18,000 richer)

I'm telling you, whether you have one day or one year, STICK WITH THIS! The only way to beat it is with time and distance. We will NEVER be normal drinkers again, just let that go (along with marrying rich and being thin and able to eat what you want). I grew a backbone instead of a wishbone (Erma Bombeck) and I tell you, once you remove the choice from the table, that path gets smoother!

I couldn't do this alone. It takes support, knowledge, and reinforcement. THANK YOU all for helping me reach this milestone. It DOES feel different....it feels REALLY GOOD! Byrdie

[LilBit]

Well-said, dear Byrdie and well-lived, too. 5 years is AMAZING!! 'Not knowing the protocol for commemorating such an auspicious event, I give you...a cat jumping for joy!

(Click for cat-jumping action.)
cat-jump-o.gif

Hearty congrats!

-Lil

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Fabulous to be here to celebrate with you, Byrdie. Thanks for the amazing post, and for being here for all of us. In the words of a certain 150 dayer from down under, YOU RAWK.

TJAF - I like what you say. That is how it has to be for me, too, because for me there were many good times with alcohol that I can't pretend didn't happen. HOWEVER, I am very able to conjure the feeling I had my last week of drinking - so horrible. I am able to play out the consequences of taking that one drink. How no matter how hard I tried to moderate, I often drank when I had told myself I wasn't going to. Taken "another" when I knew I had had enough. Awakened at 4am with anxiety and regret. Stopping to play those feelings out has REALLY helped me take the romance out of the bottle.

Way to go, Overit. I have been exercising more these last two weeks, and it helps me get my head on straight no matter what. Time to build that habit back.

Lil - sorry about your appointment. I know it would be hard not to worry - all I can say is the tricks that help me stay in the present might help. Meditation/mindfulness? A box of chocolate and a great novel? Work? I will be thinking of you.

I'm off to work. Hope you all have great days.

Pav

[KENSHO]

It's amazing to me that people from all around the world converge in this one place. There's kindness and friendship, and it's lovely.

Feeling better today. If I stick it out when the "thoughts" arise, I find that a moment comes along when I am really, truly grateful that I am not drinking. That happened last night in a particular situation. I found myself more present and more expressive. I really have locked myself away in a shell over the years - time to let that person out. Can't do that with alcohol. I really AM changing for the better with sobriety, and this keeps being reiterated through experiences. Yea!

Thanks TJAF and PAV for your thoughts on remembering the reasons why not to drink. For me, there's no doubt in my mind that I could have one drink and no more - for a couple weeks. It's after that when the needing more comes for me - and the cycle of abuse. AND I know very well that the last few times I drank (Thanksgiving), I didn't like it. It felt like trying to put an old shoe on a new, larger foot. Didn't feel good.

So sticking it out here!!

Happy, Happy sobriety everyone!

[Matt M.]

Matt, I haven't posted anything to you lately, but I always read and follow your posts. You're a brave man for facing the things you do in the way that you do. Getting counseling alone is daunting for many people. Keep showing us freaks how to stay hard.

As for me, I had to reschedule my check-up appointment because of a schedule conflict. I really wanted to get it over with, but there was just no way to do it. Now, I'll have to wait until the second week in Feb to see the doc. I keep telling myself that worry doesn't help...not to think about it...etc. Most of the time, I'm able to do it, but sometimes it creeps into my dreams at night. Staying busy helps. Just like the AL, the more time that I put between me and that cancer diagnosis, the better I'll feel.

Happy hump day, tomorrow. Hopefully, it's a short week for everyone.

Lil- Thanks for the kind words.
One thing is for sure-You are the definition of staying hard. You keep a lot of us Hard around here. ( that quite possibly my sound perverted, but not my intentions) Sick Fucks :egad:

Praying you'll find peace of mind and comfort each day leading up to your Dr's visit.....

[Overit-still]

[QUOTE=KENSHO;1658870]
For me, there's no doubt in my mind that I could have one drink and no more - for a couple weeks. It's after that when the needing more comes for me - and the cycle of abuse./QUOTE]

Well you're a different alcoholic than me for sure! Never just one.....and for a couple of weeks? It just proves that we are all different. Good Job!

Byrd, you are truly a Wonder Woman. Congrats lady!

LilBit-Just think, you'll almost be at 1 year when you see this doc! That's exciting! (do you notice that I use ! a lot?)

[actiongirl46]

Bydie - Congrat's to you!! Thanks for all you do for yourself and us EVERYDAY and for being such a big part of my journey. I can't thank you enough.

LilBit, I love what you said to Red "there is no shame here in the nest". Very true. My contribution to keeping your mind occupied the next few weeks is to watch some ice-skating competitions on TV. Maybe that will help. You are doing so well and we are pulling for you! (the jumping cat was hilarious!)

Moni, JD, Red, thanks for being here with me! We can do this!

Overit - you got me on the treadmill yesterday. And I'm off to the gym in a few. Thanks.

Kensho - I so enjoy reading your posts. So thoughtful and inspiring. Keep em coming please!

Matt - You cracked me up today . . .

G - what is going on?

Ava, Pav, Lav, anyone else I missed, have a great day and see you later tonight. Off to the gym - AG

[actiongirl46]

One more thing . . . I read something online that may be helpful to some (remember my wondering about the self-hate stuff last week) . ..

" . . . People imprisoned in addiction become slaves to impulses. They lose self-respect because they become incapable of maintaining boundaries."

Hmm . . . makes a lot of sense to me. Keep your boundaries solid!