Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters on this chilly Thursday morning.

It's the day before the big snowstorm, the news people are going crazy & causing people to flood the stores & buy everything in sight! I think I have enough food to survive for a day or two if housebound, ha ha!
J-vo, the storm is supposed to begin Early Friday evening in my neck of the woods. There will be flight delays I am sure so you better check

G, glad you are feeling OK. Don't let those 'iffy' thoughts linger & take hold, just push them out of your head as soon as you recognize them & go on about your day. That method has kept me going nearly 7 years now, you can do it too! I hope your heel is OK

Matt, these big storms are a major pain. I can remember having to get rides to work in police cars because the roads were officially closed to traffic. I also remember being stuck at the hospital for days on end waiting for my relief to show up, ugh.

LC, my chickens are lucky, I hope they appreciate my efforts, ha ha!

I am at my granddaughter's house today. Having fun so far drawing pictures & watching Curious George
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!

Lav

[LilBit]

Lucky chickens, monkey mind and hard freaks -- oh, how I love the nest.

Matt, your "sick f_cks" remark made me LOL in the middle of crowded train platform. I got the "crazy look" from several people.

Byrdie, I agree. If we ever managed to time travel, I'd go back to the wine-guzzling, bargaining, life-wasting Lil in the past and smack her upside the head until she got the picture. Racking up AF time is SO much easier than deluding one's self about "doing better" while continuing to dip into the poison. There are some things I'd tell her about staying away from men who spend an inordinate amount of time on their hair, but that's another story.

[j-vo]

LilBit, you are soooo funny. I enjoy your posts.

Byrdie, that post was awesome. Thank you. And you're so right, again! I believe you, and I will keep racking up the days, one at a time. Distance and Time...

I may be stuck here in the beautiful weather, and that's not so bad. I'm going to check my flight info. I certainly don't wanna be at 30,000 feet and the biggest snowstorm is going on beneath me.

Have a good one all.

[KENSHO]

Good morning! Home with sick little one today, and I'm feeling tired myself!! Going to try to get SOME work done if possible - clients are calling!

Headed to the Dr. tomorrow for pain under ribs and right side. I've had it a very long time (I remember having it during my first pregnancy 11 years ago), but it's worse lately. I always thought it was drinking related, but I've had very little alcohol for the past two years. Not terrible, but very annoying! Hoping it's all the sit-ups I've been doing! HA HA!

Speaking of sit ups, I'm headed down to do the exercise bike. It's probably the LAST thing I want to do right now, but as OVERIT said - I know I won't regret it. I made a bet with a friend to get (3) 30 min. workouts in per week - and I can't stray. Good example that it helps to have accountability - I would probably say F-it if we were not in this together!

Happy Thursday/Friday - and here's hoping the snow isn't too terrible out east for you who are there!

SUPER HUGE Congrats on 2 years Marylou!! That's an achievement! I'd love to hear how you feel different now from 2 years ago!

[Matt M.]

Flying by... Been craving lately! Humph. Doesn't mean I give in, just annoying. Sleep tight (can't drink while sleeping, right?)

Hang in there Ken, you are doing great sharing these feelings.

Next urge you get, play that first drink out in your head over the next week, leave out no details. I got to were I would lay down, close my eyes and live it as if it were happening. 9 times out of 10 I finished becoming repulsed and nauseous.
Your AL brain is working overtime to bolster the perception that this Perfectly packaged Poison is somehow going to end all worries and frustrstions. We know it's not, we know that AL is truly a poison with absolutely ZERO health benefit.

Ride this out with us, because there are no correct words to describe the life I have now without Al. Like Byrdie I came close to choosing Drink over the love of my life. I believed with all my heart that there would be no life left without booze, and that I may as well live in a vegetative state. Sweet baby Jesus! That couldn't have been further from the truth.....

Stay Hard my Friends!

[Overit-still]

Good morning! I hopped on here right after the gym and posted but it looks like it didn't take. Oh well, good morning!

[Marylou123]

Who da thunk?

Hi Nesters,

Like Byrdie recently wrote on her momentous five years, today is both joyful and melancholy. I am so happy and grateful to be two-years AF but it does take me back to a dark time too. But I am free. And, like Brydie and with minor exception, I have spent everyday of the past two years in the Nest. Sometimes I think I should venture into other threads, but I am safe and comfortable here. So here's where I'll stay!

Thank you to everyone for your contributions to this thread - I have benefitted greatly. A few special shout outs:

NS (No Sugar) -- it took me a long time to hit "Post" two years ago. You replied nine minutes later. I wasn't even in the Nest. It was my first post anywhere, ever. And here, somewhere in cyberspace, was a person named No Sugar who in a mere nine minutes made me feel like I was where I needed to be. You told me about the Nest and Toolbox. I think of you as a friend, mentor and teacher. I have learned a great deal about how alcohol actually does its dastardly deeds in our bodies from your posts and reading recommendations. Thank you.

Byrdlady - you are so freaking awesome. Of course you welcomed me to the Nest with encouragement and a story so much like my own that I was almost spooked a little. LOL. [For the newbies, two years ago my husband of 21 years got up (in a separate room as had become too normal), said he was leaving, and did. He'd had enough of my shit and my love affair with Chardonnay. Believe me, we had other issues, but pretty much NOTHING could be addressed, worked on, improved or changed because I was drinking daily (at least a bottle of wine, if not more.)] The first line of the first post Brydie ever addressed to me was, "Well hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart..." I made it my ringtone that day! Yep, that's my real name. :-) Brydie - you are an inspiration, cheerleader and drill sergeant. Thank you for always, always reminding us where where that s**t head AL belongs, for the straight talk, compassion and prizes!

Lav, Pav, Ava, Jane, J-Vo -- you were all there then and are here now too and the advice, honesty, and support you all bring has helped me through cravings, boredom, pity, guilt, and I could go on. Thank you. Lav, I loved your cake for Brydie. How ever did you get Stella to sit so long for the self portrait? Pav, I was so sorry to hear about your dog. I love our furry friends and I know how heartbreaking it is to say goodbye.

Kensho, I hope you are feeling better - thank you for being so open and sharing yourself with us. J-Vo, I heard some airlines are already allowing pax to rebook due to the impending storm. But if I were you, I would stay in the warmth and blame it on the weather. Matt and Gman - thank you for your posts - your posts have helped me see that our battles are gender agnostic. LC, and all nesters in cold climes, bundle up and stay warm. To all the nesters here - I thank you too for your posts and contributions to this thread. And Lil, the cat video is too funny.

I was was looking over my List of Reasons I want to be AF, this week. I wrote it on day 2 - it was so painful. Of course I wanted all the physical benefits - to be unhung, have healthy numbers, clear thinking, white eyes, more money, etc. - but most of my list had to do with feelings and emotions. I cried and cried as I realized I had drowned everything that was emotionally healthy, like relationships, happiness, joy, compassion, empathy, self-improvement and self-control in effing wine!! Nearly every bad choice I had made for almost thirty years had started with a single bad decision: to have a drink. No big light bulb moment when it comes to associating the stupid sh*t I did when I was drunk and drinking. I knew that. The aha moment was the connection to the first drink. I couldn't stop at one -- all the years and years of attempting to "cut down" and moderate were foiled by that one, now obvious, choice. It was a choice I was making every day that ended in Y and for any reason. It is a choice that is now OFF THE TABLE!! And, most of the time, I don't miss at all.

Year one was all about firsts - heck everyday was a first day AF. Year two was much easier because I had already made it through every day, every holiday, birthday, and other life event without drinking. The fear of AF social situations still lurks occasionally but I can easily say "I'll have a Coke" in reply to what used to be THE dreaded question: what would you like to drink. I am a non-drinker. And on the rare occassion my husband will say something along the lines of "we can't go dancing because it's at a bar and you can't drink", I remind him that I actually 'can' drink. But 'I DON'T DRINK.' That's a decision, the single most important decision I have made every day for two years and, God-willing and with the support of the Nest Peeps, will continue to make every day. (Newbies - my husband and I reconciled eight days before our final court date. We celebrated 23 years in November. Still a work in progress - aren't we all -- but unimaginably better.)

Year two has been more about emotional healing. I believe it's true what others have said here; that we become emotionally stunted as our dependency on alcohol consumes us. I'm also happy to report massive growth and improvement there too. A clear head has let me deal with real, and imagined, emotions. I can experience and share other people's joys and disappointments, achievements and hardships with so much more happiness, empathy and compassion where I used to be so self-centered. (I DO NOT miss the frequency of self-pity parties. And they were a regular occurrence when I was drinking!) I can deal with the occasional funk because that is life, not a reason to drink.

To anyone lurking, struggling with the desire to stop and take control of the beast, please come in. I can pretty much guarantee you will feel better, and be touched, in ten minutes or less. Reply now and you'll not only get the entire order of advice and encouragement, but we'll also throw in humor, opinions, and our full support at no extra charge. But hurry, this is unlimited.

Hugs,
Mary Lou

[Byrdlady]

Marylou! Congratulations on those TWO YEARS! What a beautiful post! It belongs in the Tool Box, would you be kind enough to stash it over there for us? I am SO happy for you!! Thank you for that acceptance speech (as I call them) I got Goosebumps reading it. Well done!!! :two: B

[jerseygirl76]

Great to read Mary Lou, congrats! and thanks for the inspiration. I do wonder sometimes what's with the personality changes with alcohol. Anxiety, depression, paranoia, difficulty just hanging with people. It does shut down normal living...

[jane27]

Just beautiful Marylou... Copy and pasting it into my phone to re visit when I need a reminder of where I am. Xxxx

[Guitarista]

Wow Mary Lou. Brilliant post, thank you. Congratulations on 2 years booze free!

I like where you wrote 'emotions, real and imagined'. Yep, I get that. I can conjur up all sorts of thoughts and feelings to get in my way! Have a great day. :thumbsup:

And a belated welcome back and congrats to QW! Great work friend on your AF trip away.

Lookey here, must be day &^%* but who's counting.

Kick some ass out there and take back your precious life.

[Overit-still]

AV is talking to me but I'm reminding myself that I just don't do that anymore. (It's because I'm not feeling well and that was always a great excuse to cuddle up under some blankets and take shot after shot after shot and never have to explain, "I don't feel good" remember)

[Guitarista]

There are some things I'd tell her about staying away from men who spend an inordinate amount of time on their hair, but that's another story.

Yes, it can be a problem. But these days I keep it simple by having a selection of the best hand made toupe's (from real hair). I'm never late for a date as i apply the rubber cement, lower and position the piece, and smile in awe at how real that rug looks. The ladies love it and seem to fall into 2 distinct camps. Those that favour the distinguished 'Euro sports urban 500' or the more relaxed almost scruffy 'Surfs up weekender Mk II' with it's lazy ambience. The phone may not ring as often these days, but I know I'm stylin'. :lucky:

[j-vo]

Mary Lou, what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. That means a lot, hearing how things unfold on this sober train. It gives me so much hope and makes my faith that much stronger. Congratulations on your big two years. :welldone:

QW, it's great to hear that a vacation such as the one you took can be done happily sober. Good for you!

So many awesome posts and anniversaries this week. This is party central! Keep on posting people!! Let's do this once and for all.

[j-vo]

Mary Lou, what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. That means a lot, hearing how things unfold on this sober train. It gives me so much hope and makes my faith that much stronger. Congratulations on your big two years. :welldone:

QW, it's great to hear that a vacation such as the one you took can be done happily sober. Good for you!

So many awesome posts and anniversaries this week. This is party central! Keep on posting people!! Let's do this once and for all.