Newbies Nest

[paulywogg]

Hi Nesters, I just really need to post this somewhere and I figure here is a good spot,I recently passed 100 days of absolutely no alcohol, barely any cravings,I could push the thought out immediately, well within the past week and a half I've really been trying to watch my diet to try and lose 10 lbs that irritate me,today is the first day I've felt like drinking in all this time, I fantasized about it,felt anxious and excited thinking about it etc,I think that by focusing on what I am or not eating is too much for at least the first 6 months maybe even a year,I just ate a Philly cheese steak,curly fries and I'm about to have some gelato and I can't even believe that I was craving earlier!! Byrdie is right on about eating being the silver bullet,my diet can wait,I'll continue to exercise just cuz I love it but I'll never put myself in that situation again,screw the 10 lbs

[NoSugar]

Good call, Pauly. Hunger is not our friend! I didn't let myself get hungry (with low blood sugar) when I was quitting but I also ate what is for me "healthy" food. Eating lots of sugar or crappy carbs was as much of a trigger to drink later as being hungry was (probably due to the rebound hypoglycemia). It's great that you figured out what you need to do!

[paulywogg]

NS,I think for me it's just too much to think about trying to lose weight right now and when it doesn't happen it messes with my head and makes me feel like I'm not accomplishing what I'm trying to if that makes sense,all those carbs I ate just a bit ago were for emergency purposes only haha

[j-vo]

Pauly, one thing at a time. Staying AF is the most important thing right now. I think when we get sober, we want to feel healthy, so we try and accomplish too much at once. That's a perfect storm for relapse in IMO. In fact, that's the way I always approached things. All or nothing. Not anymore. When I'm tired, I'm skipping my workout. When I want a Philly Steak and Cheese, I'm having it. Other times, though, I feel strong and can handle eating healthy. I won't push myself so hard that it triggers me to drink.

LC, glad you're out of your funk or coming out of it.

G, great song. Love Kelly.

Have a good night.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see everyone doing well & using the all important tools to stay on plan.
Eat, exercise, meditate, journal, sleep - do what ever you need to do, right?

LC, I honestly doubt that chickens can swim but you never really know, do you?
Glad you are OK & celebrating 90 days AF :welldone:

Dutch, you need to find a way to turn off your worry center. Can you lose yourself in a good book for a little time each day?

Pauly, deep breaths there friend!
No matter what we are searching for in our lives the answer is never in a bottle. We've stopped fooling ourselves about that, right? I have to agree with NS, keeping our blood sugar stable right now is more important than losing 10 pounds. My 10 pounds is still with me & I don't care so much about it anymore.

Hey there j-vo & everyone!

Wishing a safe & comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[actiongirl46]

Hello -
LC, I'm glad you are feeling better . . . I had a day or three of feeling down this week and it knocked me for a loop. Not fun.

Pauly and Daisy - Great job on your numbers!! What an accomplishment. I agree, what's ten pounds? Eat!

Dutch - I am trying to think of some ideas to help with what you posted. If I have it right, you are anxious over not making enough money at the moment. Are you in the US? There is an organization called SCORE or Service Corps of Retired Executives. They provide free consultation and mentoring to entrepreneurs such as yourself. If that isn't around, do you have a friend or a friend of a friend who has good business sense? I'm wondering if you got a second opinion on some strategies to grow or a fresh perspective from someone with experience might help . . . sometimes I think I've thought of everything on the planet and someone that isn't as close to it as I am can see things that I don't see. Just an idea.

Take care - AG

[upandover]

lifechange: Thanks for the encouraging words. I was supposed to have my test today but instead I had to go to my dad's assisted living facility instead to meet people delivering his new bed. Dad is going to be 102 next month. I'm an only child so I've been making sure he is taken care of for many years. He's been pretty on top of things until this last year. Unfortunately, he's getting more angry about life and taking it out on me. A little stressful. I know it's not his fault but sometimes it's just hard to take. It's still nice to have him around. Have a great day tomorrow. U&O

[available]

Afternoon nesters

LC congrats on your 90 days. Just remember that everyday when you drank how bad your life was. I remember just waiting for 5pm and then feeling so destroyed that al had such a hold on me. A bad day sober is much better than a bad day drunk. The good days get so much better as time goes on. I still have occasional days where i could just "smash a drink or 20" but that was the old me, the new me has a cup of tea and a biscuit. You will have so many emotions happening in the first year. I wondered if it was worth it but these old timers know what they are saying and i was finally bright enough to listen. Bang those ivories girl!

Pauly i still eat what i want, i used to worry about my weight but i am so healthier now than when i drank and lived on grapes! I eat what i want when i want. Chocolate is my friend, my best friend and i used to hate sweet food it was always savoury. As long as i dont drink i am okay. God that Philly steak and cheese sounds so good, i may just try that one.

Hope the weather is holding out for you Lav. It is getting darker here in the mornings so i get that feeling that autumn is coming so good news for you all over there.

A busy day at work for me. Started off fine but a patient came in for a straightforward test and had a heart attack, that kind of gets the adrenalin pumping and then 30+ patients for medicinal botox treatment. I would have gone to pieces in my drinking days so it was nice to be together and in control but damn i am tired tonight. I now know i cant change what happens each day, i just accept it for what it is. At least the patient is ok and hospitals are quite convenient places to have heart attacks!

Up, that is a fantastic age for you dad. Dont neglect yourself though!

Glad you are feeling better Daisy, i love that site on fb you posted about. Thanks for that tip.

Well time for dinner and some idiot box watching.

Take care xx

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
Off to see the marines today. Oh, it's not sales related, I have to go stand in line for a new procedure they have for getting onto the base. They said to allow the WHOLE DAY for it. Naturally, it's pouring rain! But if this is my worst problem, I'm doing ok!!!!

Speaking of my worst problem, it is really nice to see that it's in the rearview mirror. I understand that it could be right in the front seat with me (actually, in the DRIVER'S SEAT) if I get complacent.

Dutch, Actiongirl's idea is brilliant! You are in a tough spot with your brother and I imagine resentment is there about the workload. Maybe a third set of eyes on the subject would help! All I can say is this: Protect your 11 months at all costs! If you think things are bad now, dump AL and a big relapse into the mix! You will see in a hurry that everything else is secondary to our quits. Yes, I understand that it is tempting to get that sense of relief, but I am here to tell you, it lasts about 10 minutes and is followed by the worst Guilt/Shame/Remorse you ever had, followed by depression on a massive scale. You've seen it right here in the nest when people come back from an extended AF time and relapse. It's awful. AL is not going to help a darn thing. AL makes everything worse. I don't know ONE person here who ever felt relief from going BACK TO AL. They (and I) will tell you it's NOT worth it. Stay the course...why? Because before long, when trouble hits, you will see that AL isn't the first thing that pops into your mind to get relief! THAT is progress! That is NORMAL! There are other ways to let off steam and to decompress (as you know). Hang in there!

Hope everyone has an easy day!! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Checking in from my granddaughter's where I get to spend every Thursday with a bubbly almost 5 year old

Ava, I live just outside of Philly but haven't had a cheesesteak in about 20 years. The okder you get the harder they are on your stomach, ha ha! That's OK, I had my fair share of them back in the day! I get to watch the sun rise on my Thursday commutes & enjoy it immensely. Looking forward tobthat early spring we've been promised. I actually love autumn too, enjoy.

Byrdie, enjoy your day in the rain!
One of my friends has a son stationed there, just saw he for lunch yesterday. They drive down to visit him frequently.

Upandover, I hope you getvyour testing done soon. We have to look out for ourselves so we can take care of others.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!

Lav

[j-vo]

Good morning,

Yes, a bad day sober is much better than a bad day drunk, Ava. I know that but it's always great to be reminded of it.

Byrdie, thanks for that post. Another great reminder that guilt/shame/remorse are right around the corner with one small drink. NOT WORTH IT. We are worth it.

So Mom and Dad flew to Philly for an appt and will see the neurologist today. The clinic in Florida is just not the same. She'll be getting a feeding tube in a few weeks, and that should hopefully help her as she can't eat enough anymore and what she does eat, it's just a blended liquid of stuff. I know that I'm so much better sober handling all of this than I'd have been if I were drinking, and I'm grateful. Even though I'm not physically with my folks, I'm always there, face timing, talking with them, and doing it all with a clear head. I feel really responsible, a responsible adult that is. This is such a new concept for me, and at almost 51, I know I shouldn't be so proud of this as it should have happened years ago, but I'm grateful it's happening now. I won't let this important point in my life slip away for anything.

Have a good day all.

[LilBit]

J-Vo, so proud of you. It doesn't matter if you didn't start "the race" well, you're finishing well. It's wonderful that you can be there for your parents.

Byrdie, I hope your day is full of handsome Marines. See, there's a silver lining to everything. As Gomer Pyle said, "Surprise, surprise, surprise!"

Dutch, my quit twin, today marks my 11th month (woot!) so you're very close to the same amazing milestone. Don't you dare relapse now. "Don't make me come down there." Skating toepicks hurt! Kidding, of course. But, I believe that your thoughts become words and actions, so it's important to choose the right things to think about. You may not have a choice about your present finances, your brother's actions, etc. -- but you always have a choice about how you view the situation.

Tell yourself, "I don't drink" until that simple truth becomes so steeped in your reality that it is unmovable. Then, imagine the way you'd like your life to be. Take some time and really picture it, with all the details. Hold that image in your thoughts and move toward it, even if it's only in little ways, sometimes. And, whenever hard times come calling, go back to that vision for a refresh. Worst case, the dream is never realized but at least you were happier along the way. I don't believe you'll end in "worst case," though.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Morning ya'll,

There is so much good advice on here today, thanks to all of you. The one that sticks out the most is "a bad day sober is better than any good day drunk". So many times I thought the AL would take it all away and I wouldn't have to deal, but it was still there when I sobered up with more problems compounded on top. Whew, glad that is no longer a part of my life.

Praying everyone has a safe and sober day.
JDG

[KENSHO]

I'm here and working hard! I will read back some tonight - as I finished folding the mountain of laundry last night - should have some time!

I have had thoughts of - "you could go back to the way things were" - really?!? Amazing how tenacious this voice is. I am in new territory in 3 days, and maybe that is why my body is screaming for a fix. How long does this last?

Hoping everyone has a good day. I'll check in later when I can relax and read.

[available]

J be proud of yourself, very proud. It took me till near my 50th birthday and getting sober is my second proudest achievement, my children being my first. This journey is not an easy one and so very many sadly dont and cant stop drinking. I hope your mum gets some good advice and look after yourself.

Kensho after 2 years i have thoughts i may be okay now. Why? I wasnt okay 2 years ago and had no control so i damn well know nothing will have changed. As soon as i have that drink my al brain will go off at a million miles an hour and i will have absolutely no control. If i get those thoughts i close that door very quickly. Nothing is worth losing my af time for i have learnt that. It takes up to a year for your body to heal and considering the length of time i spent guzzling that is nothing in the big picture. You will be okay if you dont drink.