Newbies Nest

[moni]

Belated birthday greetings J-vo!

I had a terrible day at work yesterday, it triggered all those old feelings and desires to go home and open a bottle of wine and keep pouring and pouring. I stopped at the shop and bought myself a huge bouquet of valentine flowers instead. I mentioned before that I've been eating like a pig since giving up the cigarettes and alcohol. Well, despite saying how easy I'd go on myself - the weight gain is getting me down so today I'm starting a rigid diet. It's a week long to kick start the weight loss and very strict. However, if I could condition myself to stay off cigarettes and alcohol, then I can do this too for 7 days.

[available]

Evening nesters

Moni, a belated happy 30 days. A brave woman giving up al ad fags at the same time. I am on a mission shortly to ditch the fags. Been two years of procrastinating. Be easy on yourself with the diet. I ate for months and months and still do sometimes. As long as i dont drink then i am happy. Mind you my son did say i looked like a "worn out crack whore" when i was drinking. I never ate, just drank, so eating is novel to me still. Mind you if all food was coated in sugar life would be grand!

Neo great work on day 4. I took Valium for the first week if i remember. I needed it and so i took it. My sleep was all over the place and i was just exhausted mentally and physically and emotionally. Now i hardly take a headache tablet let alone anything else. It takes time for your body to heal.

Welcome Breaking, stick on here and read and read.

Happy birthday J, i am glad you had a lovely sober birthday and may there be many more.

LC the big triple digits. So proud of you girl and all that you have achieved in those 100 days.

My son is 8 weeks sober today so his big two months. He has had no major firsts to deal with as yet but that is coming up in March. A few pep talks before he goes on his holiday are in order i think. Always good to be in the right mindset.

Dutch my eldest son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and was addicted to ICE (clean nearly 3 years). As i say to him "if you dont do or get something done, at the end of the day when you die is someone going to say "oh remember Liam didnt finish what he said he would back in 2016". It doesnt matter if you dont do something, it will get done eventually and if it doesnt then it doesnt. I have found the less pressure i put on myself the happier i am and i push the guilt away. The guilt goes in a little box in my brain next to my al voice box. I am learning to be happy just as i am not as what i expect me to be.

Well enough rambling.

Take care x

[daisy45]

Belated happy birthday J-vo!
Moni, you seem to be taking on a lot of pressure with giving up alcohol, cigarettes and concentrating on a diet. Which is your priority? If you feel it all gets too much for you, what would you reach for first? Alcohol, food, cigarette? I understand the need to get it all done but be kind to yourself......what would you say to someone in your position? You are doing great by the way!
I have been 4 stone overweight a couple of times so the weight is an issue for me. I gave up drinking and had over a stone of weight to lose.....this has come off since I quit drinking. Now I am at my right weight I know I need to stop smoking....chest infections are pushing me closer. Ava, if you fancy a quit buddy for the smoking give me a shout.....

[lifechange]

Happy Saturday, Nesters..
Finally! the weekend is here.. I've been looking forward to it since Tuesday! A difficult work week as it seemed nothing really went right... but my co-workers and I have a new game plan for this coming week. so..
J-vo!! Happy belated birthday! Sounds like you had a nice and relaxing day.. I love to celebrate my birthday quietly.

Pav, belated Congratulations on 800 days!

:welcome: to Breaking! How are you doing/feeling today?

Moni, I'd have to agree with the others about the strict diet.. I know that I have to be very careful not to get too hungry or let my blood sugar dive too low or I'm liable to put myself in danger with the possibility of craving/drinking. Maybe you could try to focus on cutting out all the junk food.. replacing it with healthy options..?

Ava, I love your outlook! I totally agree (but continually forget!) that the world won't end if I don't get ... done. Like you said, the important things actually do get done. And I swear that the more pressure I put on myself, the less effective I am. When I'm more gentle with myself (which usually also means being more realistic about my capacity) I see more clearly my priorities. It also helps me when I keep my ego in check.. am I doing something to impress someone else or just to be able to say I've done it? or because it's truly important to me or something I enjoy doing? I'm going to make a guilt box next my al voice box as well.. great idea. Congrats to your son on his 8 weeks!

Daisy, sounds like a lovely day you had with the kids.. and I'm happy to hear you've been able to sleep better. What a relief!

I get a daily reflection from Hazelden per email and I found the one today inspiring and helpful. I'm sometimes so focussed on myself and my recovery that I have tunnel vision and forget about all the lovely souls around me. This week I've been trying throughout the day to really see each person I come into contact with, to be present if we have an exchange, not somewhere else in my mind.. it's been a pretty cool experience.
Here's the Today's Gift..

""Ordinary moments ... they in turn enrich our lives

Our spiritual life is on the same plane as our everyday relationships. It's not just something within our mind or feelings, and it's not just lofty and in the clouds. Spirituality is between people and in all relationships. Its growth depends on the way we relate to each other as intimate partners. We find it in our relationship to ordinary things like the bread we eat and the water we drink. Spirituality is found in the ways we honor our body with food and touch, work and rest, and in the ways we honor each other.

We jointly extend our spirituality through relationships with others. As we become friends with others or as we welcome people into our home, we receive them with hospitality because God is found in each of them. When we reach out to others or receive them as guests, they in turn enrich and bless our lives. This spiritual practice of hospitality has ancient roots all over the world. It teaches us to relate with generous hospitality to all guests who appear at our door.

Do something generous for someone today.""

Hi to everyone stopping or flying by the Nest today.. Wishing you all a nice weekend..

[Lavande]

Good Saturday morning Nesters!

Sunny but still very cold here

Hello & welcome BreakingDown, glad you decided to join us!
Make yourself comfortable & check in frequently.

LC, I get several inspirational/spiritual emails each day & have for years. They help me put my head in the right place
I hope next week is easier for you!

Ava, great news that your son has 2 months now, good for him! You must be a very proud Mama!!

Moni, please be very careful putting so much pressure on yourself!
We all seek & need a little comfort from our favorite foods, especially this time of year. Just don't put yourself into deprivation mode, OK?

I have lots to do today to keep me out of trouble.
Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Morning nesters,Moni,I'm another one on the bandwagon to say be careful with doing anything too drastic regarding diet,I tried this a couple of weeks ago and came very close to drinking,I had to gorge myself on foods that I don't even love just to get the craving to go away,I dunno if I let my blood sugar drop too low, or if I felt deprived but maintaining my quit is far more important than weight loss ATM,just try and make little changes here and there as suggested munch on healthy things happy Saturday to all

[j-vo]

Welcome Breaking Down!

Moni, I'm with everyone because I've done that and failed many times. Like Daisy asked, which will you choose to go to first? Actually, I made a promise to myself to eat and smoke if I get really shaky. I haven't completely quit smoking, but have eliminated it most of the time. When I get really stressed, I smoke!! And without guilt.

Congrats on your son's 8 weeks Ava!! So fantastic!

Dutch, I must have been dreaming of you last night!! I was thinking or dreaming...do you have a phone where you can put alerts on it to remind you of some things you may forget when overwhelmed? Or even an alarm that goes off at certain points in the day. I thought of this because my mom is on lots of meds right now and she keeps an alarm on for the times she needs to take it. Works well for her. Those iwatches are kind of awesome, too.

Bitter cold here. Going to get ready for our first and hopefully not last playoff game that starts at 12:00. Here we go!! Have a great Saturday.

[j-vo]

LC, thank you for such a great post!!!! I will keep that in mind throughout my day as I'll be around lots of people. Congratulations on your 100 days!!!! So awesome. You sound fantastic!!

[JackDanielsGirl]

Good morning everyone,

I am going to work on holding down my couch today, feeling lazy.

Ava - so glad your son is doing well. 2 months is awesome. Give him my congrats.

Have a wonderful AF day
JDG

[LilBit]

Hello there, Nestmates! Gosh, it's nice to be missed (thanks!) and I've missed chatting with you guys, too. I still check in and read every single day, no matter how crazy it is, but it's not the same as having conversations with you.

Yes, LilBit has been a very busy bird. 'Working incredibly long hours on a project that ends April 1st (hoping that's not a joke) and just trying to get through it. Most days are 12-14 hours. I come home, have a good dinner and can't do much more than watch a movie and roll into bed. But, we're accomplishing great things, and I'm refilling the money coffers that were depleted last year with all the health care expenses, so it's worth it.

Oh speaking of that, I went for my 6-month checkup last week, and there's no sign of any cancer. what a relief!

'Still managing to get in the ice time 4-5 days a week and cross-training on the other days. Making a point to eat and sleep well, and guarding my sacred quit like a patrol car in front of a donut factory.
Closing in on one year AF, I feel like I'm firing on all cylinders for the first time in my adult life. It's pretty cool.

Enough about moi, let's catch up...

Pav/Ava you have 800+ days! Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit -- that's amazing!

Lifechange clocking in with 100 days, you're seriously badass, now.

Moni @ 30 days, that's awesome. I think the 1-week and 30-day milestones are the most hard-fought and momentous. Good for you!

J-vo, Happy Birthday and welcome to Neo and BD.

Lav, I can never walk through the frozen chicken aisle without thinking of the Stella. Stay warm, there and have no qualms about wearing a down-filled jacket in front of them. They'll never know.

Dutch, with your quit at only 27 years old, you're so far ahead of the game. I'm sure that many of us here wish we had our 30's to do over, without being pickled. Dare to live the next few decades unhindered by this brutal, lonely addiction! Do it for those of us who messed it up.

Matt, you remain the hardest freak in the whole show. I liked your last "Grace & Power" post.

G-man, I'm envisioning the toupee wardrobe. 'Sure that you look fab under any rug. Your musical stylings are amazing, BTW.

Byrdie, following your posts is like reading a real-life novel where you actually know and admire the heroine. Sorry about the rainy misadventure on the base. Did you ever get your credentials? Run that woman's (the one you work with who messed up the appt) trousers up the flag pole!

Moni, trust me on this one -- go ahead and eat, now. You have to normalize your body to consuming food instead of AL. Latch on to a physical activity (even walking with headphones) to offset the extra calories, help you sleep well and lift your spirits. The weight will come off before you know it. I would mention again that I lost ~25 pounds in the first 7-8 months but Byrdie calls me a hag whenever I gloat.

Tons of love to everyone.

[Matt M.]

Good evening Nesters,

Getting into some seriously cold weather in my portion of the nest - goodness!!!
I think the wind chill even got to be too much for my chickens this afternoon.. They all went to bed early, ha ha!

Nice to see everyone busy & doing happy, normal, healthy things. Much better than isolating ourselves with a bottle of poison, right?
Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

I saw this morning where you guys are getting some brutally cold air plunging down. Perfect day to do nothing! Stay warm!

[actiongirl46]

Hi Lilbit!! So great to hear from you. I am so happy to hear you had a positive six-month check-up. And you are still skating!! Great job.

Overit, how was your trip???

Ava - so happy for your son. He is doing great.

Dutch and Moni- You are pretty hard on yourselves! You are doing so well. Don't forget to celebrate!!

Lots of basketball here today which is nice because it is COLD and snowy. I need to figure out how to get my 10,000 steps in without falling on my @#$. Something interesting seems to be happening in my little world. Two people close to me have also decided to change their relationship with AL and are having success. I'm not sure I would have predicted either making these changes so it has been a very nice surprise.

Have a wonderful Saturday!

[NoSugar]

Before I quit drinking, Ava, my house was pretty much picked up and clean all of the time. But the drawers and closets were a mess, all pretty much like me. I looked more than fine from the outside and was a wreck inside. And just like people didn't see my closets and drawers, no one actually saw me, either. I was so uncomfortable with compliments of me or my house (even though I went to great lengths to appear to merit them) because I felt they were so undeserved. Aside from the million other benefits of quitting drinking, it's just so great to be real :smile:.

I had always thought my husband had a high tolerance for dog hair but it turns out that over-compensating me just always beat him to it. Now I'm the one doing what I want when he drags out the vacuum and starts dealing with all the fluff. I used to feel guilty if he was doing "meaningful" stuff around the house and I wasn't. Today I sewed merrily along while he cleaned up the mess that was bothering him - I no longer care and am not sure how much dog hair it would take to get me to vacuum instead of do whatever I feel like doing .

Y'all know I believe in eating well but for those of you starting out and for a good long while, I'd encourage you to eat in the way that best supports your quit. For many of us, that means not eating the sweet and starchy "comfort" foods. Those kinds of foods clearly affect my brain in a way that gets the desire for them and their cousin AL really going. So, avoiding them made avoiding AL so much easier. For others of you, indulging in treats makes you able to resist AL. While in the long run I think most people would be better off not eating too much of that stuff, in the short to medium term, I'd do whatever it took not to drink.

Same goes with activities. If taking on new projects or exercise programs supports your quit - go for it! But if you want to hold your couch down every night for 4 months (like I did), that's fine, too. Stopping drinking is a Big Deal. We have to actually change our brains. It's not easy and it doesn't happen overnight. But time - time away from alcohol - is an amazing thing. The best gift you can give yourself is the patience to let time work its magic.

Back to sewing :smile:, NS

[Byrdlady]

Hey all!
I just finshed a birthday cake for my walking partner and just sat down. I happened to think...'I havent thought about AL one single time today!' Amazing, my thoughts used to be consumed with them. On weekends, I started drinking at 10:30 am. What a blessing it is to be free of those obsessive thoughts. Time and distance is what did it for me!

A couple weeks ago, I signed up for a 4 pound weight loss challenge. So far, I've gained 4!!! Im going the wrong way! Oh well, like Ava said, Im happy with me so Im not going to sweat a few pounds. I have til the 21st, maybe I will get inspired!

Break, great to see you here! Hope you are doing ok today!!
Here is today's project:
image.jpg

[kuya]

Another triumph Byrdie.... You have so much talent woman!