Newbies Nest

[Eloise]

Oh, and something I found kind of funny is when I explained how I tried to stop drinking and found it really almost impossible my friend was like 'oh, yeah I bet it was really hard.' That sort of ended the discussion there.

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters

We're starting off with sunshine here in my portion of the nest, nice.

El, so you have found the complete conversation stopper, ha ha!
I imagine there a LOT of people wondering if they should stop drinking too but never make the attempt.

Dutch, OTCs are not regulated, not tested so we really don't know how they will react with Rx drugs. Something we assume to be safe could essentially backfire on us.
I plunked a holy basil plant in my herb garden last summer

Wishing everyone a great AF Day ahead. Make it a good one!!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Eloise,
You can just tell when you have touched a nerve with someone when YOU abstain and they do not, or they say how hard it must be to stop. I can see it in my co-workers especially....they cling to AL like a life raft. I know that look, I HAD IT. Stay strong... and have fun on your vacation!

Yes, Lav, NoSugar inspired me yesterday by saying this about her clothes 'If they don't make me feel fabulous, out they go!". I'm really guilty of hanging onto something for the 'what if's' in life. In fact, I finally got rid of some vintage table cloths my aunt had given me 40 years ago...I've had them in the closet all clean and ready to go....I looked at the dry cleaning ticket and the date said 1998!!! Hanging in my closet for 18 years!!! If I haven't used them in 18 years, odds are....I'm not going to use them. Out they go. (sniff, sniff)

I have the MANFLU (a.k.a., a headcold). Yuck!
Wishing everyone a peaceful day! Byrdie

[Eloise]

It is nice because now it is only the third day and already there is no discussion what I want to drink? It has already turned to "water?" Yup.
I have to admit I am not feeling like I am missing out at all.
Imagine 6 months ago, when I was supposed to visit but cancelled, I thought " I don't have it in me yet." I am glad I waited to get another 6 months of sobriety under my belt.
Our friendship is more than drinking buddies (thankfully).

[j-vo]

Good for you El, and I'm glad you're reminding us that it does take time to become more confident, and time is a great advantage. When I feel shaky, or feel am I always going to be this weak then I can remember from the long-termers here that it does get easier.

Have a good day all.

[KENSHO]

Yea Eloise! I have a similar social thing going on now, and there is no judgement. It makes it so much easier!

JVO - yes, can't wait for winter to fade. I'm ready for the sun! Only 4 weeks or so here, so that's a light at the end of the dark and stormy tunnel.

Wanted to share what my husband said this morning. We are on day 15 of our Whole 30 eating plan. The first week was hard - we were very tired and adjusting to the new foods (and mourning cheese and pancakes, etc.). BUT here we are after two weeks, and my husband said this morning "After this Whole 30, I want to keep eating like this. I feel a LOT better."

My husband grew up in a Jewish / Italian household where alcohol and food were celebrated and overconsumed at EVERY meal. Consequently, he said his stomach hurt 90% of the time. For the LONGEST time I would say to him "I can help you if you ever want to figure out what is hurting you so much." And for the longest time, he didn't bite. TWO important things about this: He decided to give it a try when he saw a couple manly-man friends of his eating like this. I think this is testament that we should feel proud of our choices not to drink, and feel like leaders rather than outcasts. Being healthy and doing what's right for us is contagious. The other thing is that it only took two weeks for him to say this to me. I NEVER thought I would hear him say he could live mostly without grains and dairy! But he FEELS BETTER, and that is the best argument there is. We can get through the uncomfortable first part and FEEL BETTER in a relatively short time if we make healthy choices and stick to them.

It will be very interesting to see what he does with alcohol. I am certain that he doesn't equate not-drinking with his current health as much as the food. I just hope that once he drinks again, he connects the dots and sees how addictive it, along with sugar, is - and how terrible it makes him feel.

Anyway, in a relatively short time, we can change out thoughts and perceptions about what we consume and FEEL BETTER!

Hope everyone has a strong and positive day.

[Eloise]

Hey Kensho! This is just great.
I hope for the day my husband gets on board. We started with hellofresh maybe a year ago?
Only now does he say ' yes, you are right it is good to have these balanced meals 3x a week."
I gave up cheese, more or less, and it helped a bit with my lingering headaches.
I have not given up on the grains entirely but eat the multigrain products.
Good luck there, sounds like it is going great!

[KENSHO]

A blog post that lists good books to read about addiction....

Blog — HIP SOBRIETY

[Eloise]

And regarding the social " i don't drink stiuation' I think it is anotherexample of our fears being bigger than reality!

[j-vo]

Today, a group text went around at work. A guy I work with owns a winery, and it'll be soon that he quits work to attend to his business full time. So everyone is going on Friday and a co-worker/friend of mine asked if I was going and I told her I couldn't, and she asked again, and I said I just can't. There's just nothing at a winery to drink besides wine! I'd love to hang out with everyone, and not that I wouldn't be very aware that I would not allow myself to drink, but that's just too weird and obvious that I'm not drinking and I don't want the attention for that. At least, not now. Maybe in a year I could handle it better?

[available]

J just put yourself in situations when you feel comfortable. It does not matter what anyone else thinks, this is your quit and your life you are protecting. Still now if i do not feel comfortable in any situation where my stress and anxiety levels will be high i wont go. The world will not end if you dont attend. Tell a lie and that you have other plans.

A winery is a big NO NO with us alkies early in our quit and it is still early days for you. Be strong in your decision, do not feel pressured to attend any event where you dont feel comfortable. You will handle anything when you know you are ready.

[daisy45]

J-vo comes first! If in doubt, walk away!
Plan something nice to do the morning after when you know your friends will be nursing a hangover.....then you'll be extra happy you didn't go.
My daughter bought me a new coat today to celebrate my 100 days......I do not need another coat but I love it! I am a coat, boots, jeans and pyjama girl!
Found out today that my ex- husband done something sneaky that f****d me right off ! 2 hours ago I was close to tears, hurt, afraid of how we will cope....I thought about it and have decided not to give any more of me away...I will stand up, walk on and show him....just by being me....he can jog on, because I know that I am a good person! Still hurts though......

[Byrdlady]

All good points, J-Vo! If I were on a restrictive diet, the LAST place my arse needs to be is an all-you-can-eat buffet!! Lead yourself NOT into temptation.

My neighbor wanted me to help her host a wine tasting....on one hand, I am capable of doing that. But on the other, it goes against something I strongly believe in.....my life!! I have a problem with AL and putting myself into a situation that encourages it (even MORE than normal) just isnt wise. As strong as I am in my quit, I do not want to poke the bear.

Im not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I know enough to keep myself out of situations that could derail me. There will he other events where I can safely socialize with those friends.

Dont feel pressured to do things that dont feel right. Listen to your intuition. Hugs, B

[treetops]

J Vo I had to go to a winery tasting when I was sober a few years ago and it was plain boring even with friends there. The talk does inevitably centre on wine. If you go into the areas where the wine is fermenting the smell is disgusting. I would say don't go. It's not important in the scheme of things.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I hope everyone had a good day!

Even after all this time I still wouldn't go to a winery. I've been to several in Napa Valley years ago, I have the memories & that's enough.
j-vo, protecting yourself & your quit will always be #1, right?

Daisy, let the ex do whatever he's going to do, forget him. You don't want to waste your precious time or head space on him :hug:
You need to look after #1 as well.

Byrdie, I am almost done gathering the tax info for the accountant.....then I just may do some closet cleaning myself
I am also guilty of hanging on to too much stuff, ugh.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav