Newbies Nest

[Eloise]

Omg, a Winery?
Forget it. Let them have fun, I couldn't cope (wouldn't want to) with that now, after 22 months sober.
Love Brydie's buffet analogy!
I heard another good one here, rather like being closed in a closet with an old boyfriend and thinking you won't have sex! Yeah right!

If you have to, lie. How about we are changing all the windows in our house and I have to let the workers in? Or I am having my front teeth pulled and don't want to be late.
My dog is having kittens and I need to be there to assist....

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Yeeks, stay away from that winery. I have a friend who is 10 years sober and WORKS in a winery. Pretty amusing, but she's great at her job (not pouring or making wine). Maybe someday you'll get there, or maybe not. I get BORED with wine snootery anyway.

I have been trying to get my son to focus on his work, but he is obviously going through some social drama - phone calls, pouty, etc. He won't tell me what it is, but that paper is NOT getting written. Oh well. A choice he has to make for himself.

I got in some great exercise today. I was SO tired, I almost didn't go, and then when I started my legs were dragging. i told myself to just make it X far and I could quit, and after all that I made it farther than I have in a couple of months. Overcoming the habit of NOT exercising has been great for me.

Off to sleep and to try to prompt my kid.

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

hello Nesters!

Happy Tuesday! It's cold and dark and rainy here.. I'm so looking forward to signs of spring.

J-vo, I also can't imagine it would be much fun to visit a winery! Like TT said, I think the smell in itself would make me want to hurl.. and being in a place that is centered around some sort of al is just too difficult.. any place where it wouldn't be normal to order a coffee! Good decision..

I just got back from a weekend vacation with my 4 BF'S. I wasn't worried about the possibility of drinking with them as they've been on my sober side for the past 3 years. None of them drink much but they do drink while on vacation and the first afternoon was a bit difficult.. they were drinking champagne and I was drinking the most delicious smoothie.. but I was a bit envious of the ease in which they were able to immediately relax. What I noticed.. they didn't have a need to drink any more than the one glass. I know that I would've died with just one glass..the rest of afternoon would have been wasted with wanting more and possibly even trying to find a way to sneak it in.. I could have easily ruined our whole weekend.. this I know for a fact!
The next day, after a good night's sleep, it was no problem. I noticed... for them, having a drink allowed them to relax and joke around a bit more and laugh.. for me, it wasn't in any way necessary.. like Daisy and J-vo mentioned recently and Pav long ago (and so many others as well!), I was able to laugh and joke and make them laugh.. it was so much fun and it stayed that way because no one overdid it.. I slept well, had no headaches and really enjoyed my time with my friends..

Daisy, good on you, girl! It can be so hard with the dumb ex's.. they definitely know how to push buttons and get to us. I think it's a great decision to just let it go. Like Lav said, it doesn't concern you.. you just have to look after yourself! With which, I might add, you're doing an amazing job!:hug:

Pav, I'm also back on the exercise wagon and it feels GOOD! My particular favourite form of exercise is lifting weights at the gym because it makes me stronger, helps my back and shoulder problems, releases endorphins.. basically makes me feel like a super woman! ha.. but what I also love is having a place to go.. a positive place with people working towards helping themselves.

Ava, how is your son doing?

So many more I wanted to reply to but it will have to wait until later.. I'm already late for work!!!

Have a good one!

[j-vo]

Haha Eloise. You are too funny. Love those excuses.

Thank you all for your suggestions and direction. I will not go, and I will not feel bad about it either. Not sure if I feel like coming up with an excuse, but if I do, I'll use the 'my dog is having kittens that day.'

And at the end of the day, no one will care if I'm there or not. Especially me.

I've already made plans...to go to my sister's where she'll be babysitting my new beautiful great nephew. I'll be busy holding and loving him I won't even realize that the gathering is going on.

Thanks ALL.

Daisy, hang in there lady. You are strong, and look, you did not drink over that. You're building your sober muscles. Here's a hug for you.:hug:

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Tuesday!

Looks like we are in for a few days of rain ~ better than snow

Glad you made the best decision for yourself j-vo!

LC, nice that you can spend time with your friends & not feel compelled to join in the drinking. Honestly, thought of one glass of wine or anything else just doesn't impress me anymore

Pav, I hope your son was able to get his paper done. I remember those days & don't miss them, ha ha!

Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[LilBit]

'Quick fly-by and sending love & support to my nest mates. These days are "up at 4 am, straight to the laptop, a maelstrom of crises and deadlines until I flop into bed like a beached whale." My second full-time work project ends four weeks from now. Just trying to make it through. Although I began the project for the money, it's now become an effort to help these people -- whom I've come to admire and care for -- out of a ditch. So, onward and upward. It's time to dig in.

Byrdie, hope you're feeling better. I had "the snots" a few weeks ago. Not fun!

[Byrdlady]

Lil Bit, that's snot funny. I'm sitting here with tissues stuffed up each nostril as I just can't blot fast enough...my nose is sore...I feel like thit. (Jane!!!)

J-Vo, (NoSugar, hold your ears for a minute) if your coworkers were going to an Ice-Creamery....there's just about NO WAY I'd want to miss that! A winery sounds really bleh in comparison!! You aren't missing out at all....in fact, I hope you get snaps of your dog having kittens!!! (who's gonna tell Ramsey he's a mother????) bahahahah!

Lav, there was a lady on the morning show a few weeks ago who said if you haven't worn the stuff in a YEAR, get rid of it. That seems a bit extreme to me, I believe in keeping it until it goes out of style and then I don't feel bad about getting rid of it. I have to admit, I still have a lot of stuff in there I haven't worn in 5-7 years....what's the issue with moving it out????? I have trouble letting stuff go (see me about 1854 days ago when I was trying to let AL go). In all these years, there has really not been anything I've regretted getting rid of. I had a gorgeous red dress back in the 80's that I sometimes say lamenting words about, it looked just like something Diane on "Cheers" would wear....shoulder pads, a fitted waist, my big hair!!!

Hope everyone has an easy day....Byrdie

[j-vo]

Ramsay's a boy, so it makes even more sense that he's having kittens!

[KENSHO]

Good morning! Snow dusting last night and blue sky today. the trees are budding out early - hope they can last till more consistent warmth!

LIL, nice to see you here! I admire your tenacity and heart. I'm not sure who you are helping, but it's great to have the added motivation of impacting others lives. 4 more weeks - then what will you do with yourself?

PAV, I have trouble getting my son to get his work done also. He just doesn't want to do anything that doesn't interest him. When I was a kid I wanted to get good grades. I feel like kids today don't really understand the consequences of their work output - OR that we have it all wrong and it's not about work. ?? Anyhow, the fight gets old - and I think my son is a few years younger than yours!

JVO, those social hours - even with friends who understand - are always hard the first hour. Then it seems to settle in, and I realize how much better off I am for not drinking. But that hour is hard. Good job plowing through. A winery? I don't think it would make me want to hurl - I would want to "taste" more than my share! And then, like you said, I would be obsessed with how I could get more. What a waste of good friend time!

LAV - would you dry out already? Look forward to hearing you talk about the sun!

Hope everyone has a good day. Find something positive and be appreciative - it goes a long way! :heartbeat:

EDIT: I think I was meaning some of above words for you LC!

[Eloise]

So glad you are not going to the winery Jvo!

[j-vo]

LC, sounds like a great weekend had by all. And I can relate to what you said exactly. One and done? No way. I would have been pushing the others to have another and that still wouldn't have been enough.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Rain all day & now it's chilly.
Kensho, I would love to dry out & see some real sunshine

Getting my son to focus on something that he wasn't interested in was like kicking a wall
If the topic interested him then there was no stopping him. He's 35 now & he's still the same way, ha ha. But he did graduate from college & the fire academy & has a job with big responsibilities doing something he loves. I think that is the key - directing them to find something that holds their attention

Lil, glad you dropped in, I missed you! Good luck with your projects.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[j-vo]

Just reading that a place in Ithaca, NY is trying to open a heroin injection site so users can go use under the advisement of a nurse and physician? I've never heard of this before. I can''t see how it can help them, but I do see that death rates drop when they are available. I really don't know what to think!!

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

J-Vo, I think that death rates go down, and places like that can also offer support for quitting and/or harm reduction. Seems to make more sense than creating a whole criminal system for users to me. Cheaper, more productive, and more likely to reduce the demand for those drugs.

I had a PRODUCTIVE day doing things at work that I wasn't doing before I quit. Fabulous.

xo
Pav

[available]

Evening nesters

A busy crap day at work, i figure if i say f**k more than 8 times before 9am its going to be a busy day and it was. At least it is hump day. Seen a very sad case of a 29 year old that was drunk on New Years and fell 5 metres and landed on his head. He is a vegetable. It reminds me of how lucky i was in my drinking career.

J we have had injecting rooms here for years and it gets the needles off the streets and provides a safe environment for these addicts. If they OD then there is help. It works well but of course a lot of opposition when it first started. I look at it that pubs are a safe environment for us alkie addicts and there are so many more of them than injecting rooms! Ha ha.

Mia and I went and had our eyebrows threaded, not sure why we women go through that pain but it was a nice bonding time for us.

It has been hot hot here but autumn is coming, dark in the morning on the drive to work but at least not dark on the way home yet.

My son was interviewed for a tv show here that will air on Friday about medicinal cannabis growing. I am so proud of him for having the "balls" to stand up in what he believes in. As i say to him, if he doesnt fight for change then nothing will change. He has come a long way from the ICE addict son that came home to me three years ago in March.

LC my 22 year old drank on the weekend. I thought he would but we had another talk and all i can do is see what happens. As we know we cant have that one or two and i do realise he is 22 and he does also realise how good he felt in the last 8 weeks.

Hi to everyone.

Take care xx