Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

Great post Kensho.

And I think we should all find our early posts. Well, I had a lot of earlies, as I had a lot of quits, so it shouldn't be hard. But to go back and really feel the pain we each experienced in the throes of our addictions is a great idea Kensho. The pain does fade, and it is necessary to remember so that we continue on this road and not fall into any false beliefs - I'm not so bad, I can moderate now...We really have to remember the damage to our health, relationships, and goals so that we don't waste anymore time on ruining anything. Stay connected to sobriety. What makes things hard in early sobriety is that we really don't know what it's like to be sober long term. Drinking for 25 years or whatever it was then stopping is hard. It's such an engrained habit, the only one I knew for so long. So it's going to take a long time for sobriety to feel normal, and now I must suck it up and get through it day by day. I know at one point it'll get easier. I can't say it's all hard either. But it's a definite huge change of life, We are living a new life, and we're just not that great at it at first. Imagine how Kaitlyn Jenner feels!!!!!! Sorry for the analogy, but jeez, she has to learn to be a woman after being a man for 60 some years! We have to learn how to be sober after lots and lots of drunken years. I don't know where the hell I'm going with this. It's a ramble. But this is what MWO is for.

[LilBit]

OMG, I am a mess, today! My poor beloved dog is having major surgery to remove a big tumor from his jaw -- and most of his front lower jaw along with it, including his bottom "fangs." I'm just heartbroken. I know that may sound silly to some, but he's Family! Please send some thoughts and prayers our way? Or post a Skittle-pooping unicorn? Or call me a hag? Anything to get my mind off this awful event. Help!

[NoSugar]

I'm so sorry, LilBit. Dogs are my favorite people, too. I'm glad there is a surgery available that can help him. He's so lucky to have you waiting to help him adjust to his new life :hug:.

[moni]

Hi Nesters....I am embarrassed to say I drank.....all the awful consequences....
I do not want to fall back into continuing like I have done before.
LC, What can I say? I have to go back to day 1......

Daisy, you're back here which is good. AND you know you can do it because you have done so.
X

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters.

Lil, my heart goes out to you & your doggie. I hope everything turns out as well as possible :hug:
Can I distract you with some road turkeys?? These buggers blocked my car last winter......


Daisy & JDG, it's all about making different choices if you truly want different results, right? Choosing AL always gives us the same.
Support groups are wonderful but in the end we have to make better choices.

Kensho, j-vo, Ava & everyone, stay as strong as you are right now. You all sound great, Hello to NS, moni & anyone I've missed.
Have a safe & comfy night in the nest everyone!

Lav

[daisy45]

Thanks everyone......in rhe cold light of day I am so disappointed in myself. I had a choice and I have a choice right now. I am back on day 1 but I know if I just get right back then I will be ok.
I do know what happened......I won't go into detail here but I was at the end of my tether over a situation, got in my car and drove about for 3 hours, didn't want to go home and felt I had noone to turn to.....I was in a state, not over drinking, but drinking became an option for one reason....to block it all out. I never even thought of asking for help as I didn't see drinking as my biggest problem in the moment.
It is hard to explain and I so wish I hadn't but it is done.......the problem I had doesn't seem so big now and was definitely not worth jeopardising my quit for.
I don't need to continue drinking to test my moderation techniques.....one night is enough to see that nothing has changed.
Yes, extra effort is required so here goes.

[aihfl]

Hello Byrdlady, thank you for commenting on my You Might be an Alcoholic if… thread. I'm sure all of us can relate to much of that list I've compiled. The longer I'm sober the more I realize how much of a baby I still am in sobriety. After treatment last summer, AA was a crucial lifeline. I don't go every day like I did but there is still a lot of collective wisdom in those rooms and hope I can pick up the occasional nugget here and there on here too. What I did learn in treatment is how critical it is to have a plan (the reason my own "quits" never worked) and between psychiatry, therapy and twelve step I am holding my own. For everyone just out of the starting gate, it does get easier and while that "itty bitty shitty committee" inside your head does not completely go away, it does become easier to disregard the longer you stick with it. I never would have thought it.

[Byrdlady]

OMG, I am a mess, today! My poor beloved dog is having major surgery to remove a big tumor from his jaw -- and most of his front lower jaw along with it, including his bottom "fangs." I'm just heartbroken. I know that may sound silly to some, but he's Family! Please send some thoughts and prayers our way? Or post a Skittle-pooping unicorn? Or call me a hag? Anything to get my mind off this awful event. Help!

Lilbit, my best mojo coming your way. Please keep us posted!!! Gentle hugs! B

[LilBit]

Thanks for your replies, everyone! Sometimes, a cheery word or a turkey picture from a friend is all you need to keep from losing your mind. Wonder Dog came through the surgery OK, and he comes home tomorrow. We were concerned about the anesthesia for an older dog but thankfully it wasn't an issue. I'm draping some old, soft blankets around and making mushy meatballs to hand-feed him.

Lav -- dang, those turkeys are big! They're scary. Stay in your car. My mom hit a deer today, inside the city limits. She's OK, which is more than I can say for the deer or her car, unfortunately. She said it was a "flying deer." I hope she was kidding because I don't need "Granny" to go off her rocker right now with everything else going on.

Daisy, dust off those petals and get right back on the flower cart. It sounds like you're wiser, now. All those solid days under your belt are not wasted.

'Night all. Love, LB

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Lil, hope those squishy meatballs do the trick. Any pet person knows you're not being silly - they ARE family. xo

Daisy and JDG - Sorry you drank. Glad you came right back. You know the drill, and they've all spoken eloquently before me. USE us, use us, use us.

Kensho - great stuff. What separates me is that I NEVER want just one. I sometimes drank just one, but I always felt like I wanted more. Not good. Being free from thinking about it all of the time has been a great gift.

I am having allergies from h-e-double hockey sticks. I love the early blooms, but my eyes and nose sure don't. Off to blow my nose and go to bed.

Pav

[j-vo]

LilBit, for you and you little furry love.:hug::love:

Yes, that's what separates me, too, Pav. I never wanted just one. So I always had more, and all the crap that went with it.

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters,

Staring my day with sunshine & it's heading up to near 60 degrees today, yay!!

Lil, great news about your doggie!
I hope the both of you have a good healing kind of day :hug:

Hello aihfl, welcome to the nest!
Stick around for a while, we are a nice bunch.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[Marylou123]

Worry Box

Hi Nesters,

Daisy - I'm sorry you drank but so glad you came right back! Your post reminds me of a story I recently read. To paraphrase:

There was a very, very busy lady who constantly found herself filled with worry/stress about her numerous responsibilities and the seemingly endless life "surprises." One day she decided to create a worry box and vowed to only open the box once a week, every Wednesday. Whenever a potentially worrisome issue arose that would/could be cause for concern, she would jot it down on a slip of paper and put it in the Worry Box. She could then let it go for the present knowing it was in a safe place and she would be able to worry about it later. The following Wednesday, she would empty the box and address the previous week's "worries." Not surprisingly, the majority of the issues had been solved, changed or vanished entirely.

I've used this concept from time to time to let go of the little stuff - and some of the big stuff too! It's really the same (or at least related) concept as One Day At A Time, intentional thinking, patience, self control, etc.

Hugs, ML

[Byrdlady]

Welcome aihfl!!!!! So glad to see you in the nest! Hunker down and stay a while! Sounds like you know the drill! We are so glad you found us!

A couple thoughts this morning. The first is on TRIGGERS. NoSugar, you posted a piece about this, I think....I skimmed FAST yesterday but tried to keep up. I fell into this trap myself....trying to think of all my triggers. In the end, what I realized is that everything CAN be a trigger if I want to drink. I don't need much of an excuse, but I called it a trigger. Like NS's piece said, you can whack that weasel all day and NEVER be successful. The key (in my opinion only) is to take the option of drinking off the table no matter what and no matter who. Triggers come and Triggers go, but my resolve to never buy or consume AL again has saved me many times. It is no more an option than drinking gasoline. Life and drinking are mutually exclusive for me, and as Narilly's byline says: You can have the life you want, or you can drink. Try and get out of the TRIGGER mentality. It's an EXCUSE with better PR.

Secondly, commitment and service are a big part of my recovery. To keep it, we have to give it away. I may not HAVE to check in here every day, or try to help someone else, but so far it's working. I have seen 1000's of people come and go from MWO.....as you can see, there are not so many over in the 100 Day Club, maybe 20-25 of the scores of people who have been members for years? It's one thing to GET sober, it's quite another to STAY sober. I must keep it fresh in my mind or I just may one day come to think that drinking (OH just ONE) isn't such a bad idea. This is a lifelong party, and we got an invitation.....it takes work to stay sober. Mercifully, it gets easier over time.

STAY connected to your life support! I'm as busy as the next person, but my quit is my #1 priority and I MAKE time to check in and to stay accountable. It works for me....and as a support forum, we like to hear what works.

Lil Bit, we are thinking of you with your 4 legged patient and your flying-deer-hitting mother. You've got your hands full! Maybe you should carry a 4 leaf clover and rabbit's foot around this week, for good measure.

Hope everyone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[JackDanielsGirl]

Morning,

All is well here, it is another sunny and windy day but its warm and I am thankful. Byrdie you are right drinking has to be removed as an option. The trigger mentality......never really thought of it the way you explained it but it makes sense. Anything can be used as a trigger if we want a drink.

Everyone have a great day as we stay strong together,
JDG