Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Cooking again this morning... good golly I've spent time in the kitchen! It's actually meditative for me (when the kids aren't trying to help )

My husband will begin drinking again a week from today. He never had more than 2-3 beers during the work week, and maybe 5-7 on the weekends. A moderate drinker and fine with stopping at one. This morning I told him that this diet has been really fun to do with him, and that I felt a lot more connected to him. I said that I would never expect him to remain a non-drinker, but that I've really enjoyed spending time with him this last 22 days - and that when he drinks, he becomes irritable and much less present - escapes from the world around him. I left it at that, and hope that the tiniest bit of those words remain with him when he has beer and escapes from his family. That's one thing I love about NOT drinking - I am in the now, and not trying to be in some chemical-induced void.

[Matt M.]

Check in for me on this warm windy day in the Lone Star State.

Just a thought for the day.....

Although I never seemed to grasp the whole AA experience for whatever reason, I do believe it offers countless resources in our struggles. So as instructed I took what I wanted and left the rest. What I took was great studies and stories from the big book of AA. I read it often and find so many things that I relate to. The main one being "The Doctor's Opinion"
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous the link provides the opinion in its entirety, the words posted really hit home with me. Some do not like being labeled "Alcoholic" if so input whatever word you like where it says chronic alcoholics.
For me however I'm OK with Alcoholic, I believe it is a disease, and I believe without a shadow of a doubt I got it. Like my Dad, and his Dad, and his Dad....

We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the
action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifesta-
tion of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited
to this class and never occurs in the average temperate
drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol
in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and
found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-
confidence, their reliance upon things human, their prob-
lems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult
to solve.

Stay Hard Wierdos!

[moni]

I have plans to visit friends this weekend. I was a bit anxious because so far I've managed to keep myself in my little alcohol free bubble with no temptation etc. Even the thoughts of the flight, the glass of wine to relax travelling.. all the things I used to do was stressing me out a bit. And normally when staying with them, we'd crack open a bottle of wine or two.
Well, it looks like my solution landed in my lap. Just back from the doctor and he's put me on a strong antibiotic for the next 7 days.
It gives me my excuse to pass on drinks etc and time to come up with my permanent line.

[Guitarista]

All the best for the weekend Moni!

Quick fly by. All good here. Enjoying putting aside 10 minutes for some meditation first thing every morning. Daily self care for me is a must. Yoga class tomorrow. Wearing the long board shorts this time! Big waves to all.

[actiongirl46]

Just a quick thought -

Where's Dutch??

Over-it??

Daisy, I think I recall when a slip cost you about 3-5 months. Great job on getting right back here. You too JDG. And, me too. Stay strong today and from my perspective, don't get too down on yourself. For me, it just makes it worse and the feck-its easier.

Snow day in this part of the next again today. Stay safe and warm!

[Byrdlady]

ActionGirl, as I ask so often, do you have a Plan? If you want to tweak it, we can help. B

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Marylou, your Worry Box story goes along with the topic of detachment. That's something we've been discussing on another thread recently. That was one mighty hard lesson for me but once I got it life definitely became easier

We often discuss acceptance here in the nest. This is another 'must do' if we want to succeed. Sure it's hard to accept that we cannot tolerate & process AL like 'everyone else' but it turns out to be a small price to pay. In reality our health & freedom from the grip of AL are priceless!!

Moni, I hope you feel better soon & the antibiotic (real or fiction) is always a safe & effective excuse. I learned to say 'no thank you' with gusto & a big smile on my face. No one ever gives me a hard time, ha ha!!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

I'm frustrated at how much I've really wanted to drink lately I must need my sugar foods back so I can get a girl scout cookie or ice cream fix if necessary.

[actiongirl46]

Thanks Byrdie. I do have a plan that is working well here at home. I need to work on being out and vacations.

Kensho, sounds like it is time to EAT!! When are you done?

[Dutch1988]

Checking in, still here and hanging in there. Hate to read about all the setbacks on here but pretty impressed at you guys jumping back on the horse. If I lost my quit I don't know if I could jump back that fast, so good for you all, takes cajones.

Having a rough time at work, same shit different day. Plus the wife is facing unemployment again, this combined wit my work stress is making for a pretty bad cocktail. Still not nearly as stressed as I was in the past. Don't know if I am growing or it just hasn't hit me yet. Went back to the psych I had to follow up, she took me off the meds I was on since they didn't work and gave me some extended release concentra. I have to say I had a very productive day, got a lot more done than I expected at home and at work. Felt like the 30 thoughts I normally have in my head were out of there. I am hoping this is finally light at the end of the tunnel for me and work. If all this time my anxiety and depression has been from struggling with focusing I am going to laugh. Mostly because I have thought about it before but would never try to get anything because it would get in the way of my drinking.

Lav I am overstimulated but mostly with stress. Remember I used to go to the gym at 11pm 4-5 nights a week instead of drink in the beginning. I was mostly doing it last week to avoid drinking as I really wanted one. I am glad to know I can go to my warehouse and blast music instead of pound a bottle. I highly recommend everyone find their anti drinking activity like I found mine if you haven't already.

[Eloise]

I have plans to visit friends this weekend. I was a bit anxious because so far I've managed to keep myself in my little alcohol free bubble with no temptation etc. Even the thoughts of the flight, the glass of wine to relax travelling.. all the things I used to do was stressing me out a bit. And normally when staying with them, we'd crack open a bottle of wine or two.
Well, it looks like my solution landed in my lap. Just back from the doctor and he's put me on a strong antibiotic for the next 7 days.
It gives me my excuse to pass on drinks etc and time to come up with my permanent line.

You know Moni I realise I have months ahead of you of sobriety, however, I just spent 10 days with a very dear friend. A friend with whom I always drank.
I just put it out there, why I am not drinking anymore, and voila- end of story. There was one more occasion when I was asked 'are you sure?' And she answered herself, 'no, better not.'
Conversation over.
I was really wondering if I would cave before my trip. I even put it off for 6 months, which I was pretty relieved about.
I think you just have to listen to your gut. Maybe don't use the antibiotics as an excuse? Maybe just be honest? Drinking isn't for you anymore, why not say it? I said it because I didn't want to be faced with the same questions on our next visit. "Want a drink?" No, I don't. No, I prefer not. No, I feel healthier when I don't drink.

When everyone is on the same page it can just somehow put us all at ease.

Good luck there, follow your instincts and I am happy for you!!

[Eloise]

I'm frustrated at how much I've really wanted to drink lately I must need my sugar foods back so I can get a girl scout cookie or ice cream fix if necessary.

I say do whatever it takes these days Kensho.
Maybe stock up on fruits though? A nice banana has the same satisfying effect as a cookie by the way. Just give it a shot. I also ate a lot of fresh pineapple in the beginning. I think the extra sugar might make you a bit anxious too? It did me. Fruit worked better, and herbal teas during the day. In a special cup. Actually for me I bought new 'sobriety' tea mugs to make tea time more exciting.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy hump day

Sunny but extremely windy here in my portion of the nest. I just heard the trash can blow over outside, oh well. It can wait!

Kensho, food before AL...always!
A cookie or two is not a deal breaker, right?

AG, glad you are back on track!

Dutch, sounds like a change in meds is just what you needed. Try not to worry too much into the future. I rid myself of a lot of stress by learning to focus more on the present instead of future stuff that may not ever happen.

El, it takes some time to work up the courage to tell people that you're not drinking anymore. But once done, it's done

Wishing everyone a great AF day ahead!

Lav

[Sunbeam]

Malodrama, many of us here have read her book. Most learned over time that we could not drink moderately. Even the author no longer drinks. That said, learning to cut back is a start.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
J-Vo, I was thinking about your thoughtful post yesterday regarding lifestyle changes....that our journey isn't unlike Kaitlyn Jenner's. That's a good analogy. Committing and learning a new way of coping takes practice. With time it all gets easier. Time and distance sooth our dependence on AL. And when you really think about it, nobody NEEDS AL in any quantity. EVERY drink does damage to us, especially us. Once we get that distance, it's very easy to see but when you are in the middle of the storm, it's extremely difficult to see the way out....hard to let go. Thank you for that post.

Hope everyone has a sober, peaceful day. Byrdie