Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

NO amount of AF time is going to change the wiring in our brains.

You're right, Byrdie - that well-worn addictive pathway remains intact even when we don't use it - kind of like how you can ride a bike or water ski right off the bat even if you haven't done it for many years. But we can make new neural pathways and use them over and over and over so they become permanent in the same way as the addictive circuit. With time and practice, "I don't drink" can become the unconscious, immediate reaction to being offered a drink or to the thought that we want one (ha-ha) pops up. Over time the reward system in our brains can heal and we can start feeling good without the sledge-hammer approach that alcohol eventually becomes. By the end, nothing gave me much pleasure, even alcohol at ever-higher doses. There's even a fancy word for it: anhedonia. What a nightmare!

[KENSHO]

Very quick check in, will be back later for more time. All is good - very busy week and weekend. Kids off school today, and one of them is sick Hoping to clean my desk today and possibly get some accounting in.

JVO, I'm thinking about you

[j-vo]

Byrd, no I never thought I could moderate. At least I have that clarity. And yes. It was the f-it's. I'm relieved I got back on quickly and I feel as though I paid for this slip pretty good so it is time to forgive myself and move on. I am here, so I will hope to received continued support as I will give as much as I can.

Ava, i want to take it one day at a time, because that's all we are really promised. We are promised right now, and if anything tragic happened in this moment, I want to go knowing I was sober.

A student of mine was beaten over the weekend by a 45 year old man with brass knuckles. He's in critical condition in children's hospital and his seizures are bad. It makes me so sick to know that people in this world are that sick. We have a chance for the good life, but some people might not, given this situation. I don't want to lose my chance. Not now. Not ever. Prayers for my student please.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Mornin all,

Good day here.

Byrdie - safe travels.

Lav - Maybe this will be the last snow for you. There were flurries as far south and N Mississippi yesterday.

Ava - I don't think an 8-seater will fit in our apartment. LOL

J-vo - prayers for your student and his family.

Have a great Monday,
JDG

[KENSHO]

OK, I have another minute here.

Hi LIL!!! Nice to see you! Tell us more about how you weathered your work storm! Are you back to a 40 hr. work week?

I have been distracted with this stupid diet. It was supposed to be for the purpose of learning what your body is sensitive to by eliminating everything and adding back in. Well, I seem to be sensitive to everything. I never thought I would be signing up for being an exclusive, picky eater when doing it! And I'm struggling a little with "what does the rest of my life look like now, food wise?" Be careful what you ask for. I wanted info and I got it, and now I feel I may be doomed for a restricted diet that is expensive and time consuming for the rest of my life.

Anyhow...

JVO, I just wanted to send you support. We've all had tough spots, and it would have been just as easy for me to give in. WE ARE ALL WINNING as long as we are fighting. I'm really sorry about what you are going through with your mom and I don't blame you for wanting to check out. Glad you learned so quickly that it didn't work well for you. Stick around here, love and hugs your way.

[Matt M.]

Checking in- make it a great day! We are not promised tomorrow

[Need to quit]

Hi all, it's a beautiful day 12, still in a positive place and motivated to not drink. I believe that new neural pathways can be established but only with time and practice. I will continue reading and trying meditation as I work to identify as a non-drinker. I had a bright moment when speaking to another mom who mentioned that we "missed out" on an afternoon "lunch" with a bunch of moms. Read: day drinking. My reflexive response was "oh, that's overrated, I just had a coconut water and it was off the hook" and we giggled. This was uplifting because 1, I did not feel the I am missing out angst that is so familiar to me 2, I really had enjoyed my afternoon with and the coconut water 3, I connected with this woman with humor without having to go on a rant about how awful it would have been had I imbibed. In other words I don't have to portray that I have this deep dark problem with alcohol, rather, there are other things for me to enjoy. Less narrow; more expansive. Ahhh, freedom 🌷

[aquamarine]

Day 6 for me. Really gaining alot reading all your posts. Can relate to so much. I'm waking up every morning with this anxious, almost fearful feeling. I keep thinking of all the stupid things I've done when I was drinking. I'm going back 20 years and just can't seem to get some incidents out of my mind. And I could cry at the drop of a hat about alot of things. I had read alot about anhedonia the last time I strung some month of AF together. It exactly described how i felt in those sober months. I had read that it eventually after a long period of time does go away. Has anyone had that experience after being sober for awhile. Thanks for listening!

[JackDanielsGirl]

aquamarine, yes!! For the first year (so I am told, I'm not there yet) our emotions are all over the place. I know we look back on our mistakes but try not to. You are bettering your life by living a new you and you have to take time to get to know that person. Hope this helps.
JDG

[available]

Aqua everything gets better over time without al, never doubt that statement. Something i never thought i could live without means nothing to me anymore. I have grieved for al and now moved on to life.

Oh the cringe worthy moments i had when drunk and in front of my children and friends makes me shudder but in saying that it was a part of me and i dont cringe anymore when i remember. I am just grateful that i will never have a drunken moment to be embarrassed about again. We all make mistakes and for me it was learning to forgive myself for my past and to create better memories. This takes time.

[lex]

I'm at a year and there has been a lot of insight and some improvement. Enough to know it'll take another year to two to completely stabilize as a sober person. Looking forward to it!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see so many checking in today with positive reports, that's progress

j-vo, I am very sorry to hear about your student being assaulted so viciously. Prayers for him & his family. I hope you are OK too.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
PS: the snow has melted already, yay!

Lav

[NoSugar]

While the drug abuse problem is a hot topic in the US recently, primarily because of the surge in opiate/heroin addiction among certain population groups, alcohol generally gets a pass. This article tells it like it really is: http://www.vox.com/2015/6/15/8774233/alcohol-dangerous.

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters,

Woke up to the news of more terrorist attacks in Europe, how sad. Wishing all of our friends in Europe peace & safety today :hug:

NS, I don't know what we could possibly do to make people understand the dangers of AL. It's certainly a message we have heard all of our lives yet it didn't stop us. Sobriety check points on highways get a few of the drunk drivers off of the roads. Organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Drivers try to get their message out in schools & colleges. We need to do a lot more.

Wishing everyone a terrific AF day!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, all!
About to hit the road, I have a 4 hour drive ahead. I can't use my cell phone so it will be a quiet ride. Our new policy says to stop every hour and check messages and return calls. I don't think that's going to happen.

Like anything else, getting and staying sober takes focus and commitment. You cannot elude addiction, it's going to find YOU. Addressing it once and for all is the quickest way from A to B. I didn't take that route, and it cost me plenty. In the end, I did what I should have done from the start. GET AL OUT AND KEEP IT OUT. Not one, not EVER. So far, this is working like a champ. I urge you not to prolong the agony....get this one done.

Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie