Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Glad you checked in JDG!

WHERE IS EVERYONE?????

Wishing everyone a safe 7 comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Checking in. Friday lunchtime here. All good this end.

Enjoy the easter weekend if you celebrate it. Public holidays here friday and monday but alas, i'll be working this weekend at my day job. No complaints though. Off for a run to the beach.

[narilly]

Checking in to say hi. I am almost 2 years sober- I am looking forward to making my milestone. I am grateful to be sober and don't miss the blackouts and hangovers I used to have.
I am getting some niggling thoughts about drinking right now so I am posting and reading. Thanks for being here everyone.

[Need to quit]

Hi, safe and sound at home after having wicked thoughts today. I have been meditating daily and doing the breath of fire when something really bothers me and I need immediate relief. I felt so balanced until this evening and I thought that was great but maybe I can feel good and drink. But I didn't act on it. Over the last 2 days, we got 22 inches of snow and I was so happy to be well rested and ready to play. Today I was tired and hungry and by evening I was thinking I could stop and get just one beer. I think this is a function of having alcohol mostly out of my body and the craving kicks in. I had scheduled a reminder on my phone to re-read my first post and it popped up this eve at my weakest moment, good timing. Lots of work to do, glad to say I did not drink. However, I am not out of the woods. Phew, thanks for letting me vent.

[NoSugar]

WHERE IS EVERYONE?

I don't have much to say that hasn't been said before, Lav, so I thought I'd repost something I wrote a long time ago when I so wanted to convince a couple friends to just get it over with!! There's some people I feel that way about right now, too.

A perfect day to have as day 1 is what I think a lot of us were or are waiting for. I know I was: the first day of a new year, the first day of a new month, or at least, the first day of a new week. And, best if it was not the same week as a holiday or family birthday, or a big challenge at work, or stressful visitors, or... I'm sure you get my point. There is always a seemingly rational and justifiable reason not to begin.

When I found MWO in the middle of last January, I lurked for awhile and started to get interested in this approach but it occurred to me that since my day 1 couldn't be 1/1/2013, maybe next year... Some active posters had that date in their signatures and I thought they were so lucky to have started - too bad for me, I had missed my chance. Well, maybe on February 1 I could start, but, well, I just can't imagine how I would make it through the dark, cold days without some sort of refuge. Spring ? yes, that will be a time of New Beginnings. That would be a perfect time to start.

Now what kind of thinking is that? That is the messed up mind of someone who is looking for any possible excuse not to quit drinking.

If you're lurking or have joined but not yet decided on the perfect day 1 or need to start again, don't over-think this - there is no perfect day to begin and there never will be.Today might be as good as your drinking life is ever going to be.

Just begin now. If you haven't had a drink today, today is day 1; if you have, dump the rest, and tomorrow is. These days will be no better and no worse than any fantasized perfect day 1. It is never going to be convenient.

My day 1 was a Thursday towards the end of a month. The preceding Wednesday had been much like any other day - no better and no worse. There was no rock bottom or near miss. I just decided to jump in. My plan was simple: Don't drink. Otherwise, I had no idea what I was doing but had blind faith in myself and what I thought MWO offered.

STOP LURKING, STOP PLANNING THE PERFECT DAY TO STOP, JUST JUMP IN!

Find a couple people ahead of you that you trust and can relate to and do what they do. Ask them questions on the boards or by PMs. Anyone who is actively posting here is interested in helping anyone who wants it. Find a buddy or two who are quitting at the same time. Encourage one another and be willing to take and receive constructive criticism. After awhile, find some people who are a bit behind you and try to help bring them along - you'll also be helping yourself.

Start now! Don't wait for 1/1/2014! By then you'll be heading for 2 months AF - you'll be one of the people welcoming and helping those who decide that the first of the year is the perfect day to start their AF lives. And all the best to them! But you're reading this NOW - there is no reason to wait to jump in and get this done. Don't think about it - just do it.

You will always be able to convince yourself that now isn't the time so you have to take the leap of faith and let what is offered here make it turn out to have been your perfect day 1.

NS

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Glad to see some folks checking in overnight

G, Happy Easter weekend to you too & I hope you don't work too hard!

Narilly, nice to see you & congrats on your AF time!
Don't let the thoughts hang around in your head & scare you. Push them out as soon as you recognize them & go do something else. Distraction is a great tool.

N2Q, great job coming here to vent, that's why we're here. Having that reminder on your phone sounds like a great tool - good for you

NS, thanks for reposting that.
I joined MWO but it took me a few weeks of reading & planning & working up the nerve to jump in as well. I have never regretted my decision for a moment.

Wishing everyone a peaceful AF day!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Gorsh, it is really quiet here! Hope folks aren't having trouble logging in...

Congrats Narily on upcoming 2 years! That's impressive. Would love to hear all the ways your life has changed for the better!

NTQ, remember that those "wicked thoughts" are just thoughts! All sorts of thoughts come and go. It's what we choose to pay attention to that makes us who we are

SO glad it's Friday here. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. It's the most relaxing day of the week for me.

Also so glad to have this support system here. I am at 106 days, and have never felt better in my life

[Byrdlady]

NS, that was and still is, a post for the ages. I have been here since late 2009 and I can tell you firsthand, I had 2 opportunities for Jan 1 start dates and blew them both. I have SEEN countless people put it off until _____ and that day just never comes. There is ALWAYS an excuse to delay it. Don't! You'll be sitting around next December wondering where the year went.....where your LIFE went. For an active addict, tomorrow never comes. Make today that Day 1 and get it done. There IS life after AL and it's pretty SWEET!!

Narilly, I can't tell you how wonderful it was to be among my coworkers (who were drinking like fish!!! I was the ONLY non drinker in a room of 30 people) and NOT feel any longing or deprivation because I wasn't drinking. I knew many of them would feel it the next day. I felt indifferent to it. AL is not something I want any more and that is SUCH a blessing. That comes with time and distance from it. You are SMART to stick close when you start seeing a trend in your thinking! You are a wise cookie!

Great to be home, now to dig out from all these emails and phone messages (since I couldn't do anything of that while driving 4 hours yesterday). Strength to all, it's just a weekend, NOT a ticket to BoozeVille!!! Byrdie

[moni]

Hey all.

Hope everybody is okay.

I've had a bit of a funny week and think it's best I discuss. I'm beating myself up a bit.
So, a colleague of mine came to me during the week and said he had a bottle of wine at home for me that he'd forgotten to bring in. I'd recently gone above and beyond to sort something for him.
I was a bit taken aback when he said it and my initial thought was to say I don't drink, then that was replaced with that it would sound ungrateful. So I just said 'Oh, don't be silly there's no need. I may need a favour off you sometime' but he insisted he'll bring it in next week.
That got the cogs going and to a degree that really upset me. I was so distracted for hours about this bottle of wine. I thought of what I'd do when it was given to me. These thoughts ranged from leaving it in my car and gifting it onto somebody else, storing it in the house until such time I needed a gift to somebody and then thought about drinking it. I 100% thought 'Well, it's not like I went out and bought it and it is my birthday next week and I could just have one glass and keep the rest for another time'. Yes, I reasoned this in my head and for all of 2 mins must have believed it. It's upset me an awful lot because it's reminded me how vulnerable I still am and will possibly always be.
I can't control alcohol, I typed this myself a couple of months ago. I didn't type 'I can't control alcohol that I specifically buy myself'.

I'm hoping to hear that this is something other people experience.

[Need to quit]

Happy Friday everyone! I don't feel so haunted like I did yesterday, today is day 16. It was eerie that I set the reminder to re-read my first post. I knew I was going to feel in control and that I should remember how bad I had felt after the last couple of slips. I did read through my thread last night and I think it helped. This is definitely a great venue for honesty. One drink is not worth it. There is no upside, I remember I felt hungover even after just one. Alcohol is a depressant, I don't want that in my body. I should not feel I have to prove I can handle it. Byrdlady, not drinking with 30 people who probably were blowing off steam is impressive. I bet you felt world's better than they the next day. I had an ice chunk come through my window and I dealt with it. Had I been drinking the whole ordeal would have been so much worse. Instead it was just some clean up, boarding it up and calling a glass company. I just got a free pass to yoga, time to try something new? I think yes. Wishing everyone a beautiful alcohol free weekend! 🌷

[available]

Morning nesters

Yes Kensho it is quiet on here but always good to see the regulars post.

Moni i still get the occasional drinking thoughts that knock me for 6 but they are pretty few and far between. It will get easier believe me. My al brain used to go into overdrive if i seen a billboard advertisement for al or a tv show or a radio ad. I would spend time trying to justify why i should have a drink but i knew i had to be accountable or i would be back at the dreaded day 1. Get rid of the wine. I have a patient who gives me a bottle of wine every xmas and the first year was hard and an unexpected suprise as i had given up on the 1st December. I gave it to my daughter ASAP but now it doesnt worry me. I put on the table for xmas. Byrd has 5 years and breezes through situations, i have 2 and still have the occasional thought. I cant wait to get to 5 years but we both know that being accountable keeps us strong.

NTQ great work on yesterday. Stress was a huge trigger for me with drinking, actually anything in the early days was a huge trigger so be very proud of yourself for not giving in. We know its not worth it but we need to learn new coping mechanisms and you did that.

NS i remember trying to pick my quit date with you and i so wanted it to be after xmas, i wanted a big hoorah, wanted to go out with a bang but i think i was "banged" out so gave myself a week after our chat. The best decision i ever made, right on the silly season but I had really had enough of drinking although i didnt really realise how much hard work it would take to stop completely, a bit like having a baby, you never know what you are in store for.

Well food shopping for me today and more bloody sanding and getting my nails done and all with no hangover. God i used to dread going out unless it was for al back in the day.

Take care x

[Laeot]

Hi all ...

End of day 9 here...

Feeling hopeful and determined ...

[Byrdlady]

Thats GREAT Laeot! i switch flipped in me on Day 13, it was as if the waters smoothed out and I KNEW this was something I could do! Im so happy for you! Keep up the GREAT work! Hoppy Easter!! B

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see some folks checking in - don't like to feel lonely here, ha ha!!
I know that you don't realize it in the beginning but each & every AF day makes you just a little stronger. Just keep building & building on a solid foundation & you will see you made the right choice

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
I will be waking up to 7 years AF tomorrow & I couldn't be happier :yay:

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest--

Way to go, Laeot! Congratulations to almost double digits.

Moni - someone once explained to me that a situation like that is a GOOD think, as long as you didn't drink. You worked out that sober muscle, and each time you use it you get stronger. It really does get easier, but I am with Ava in saying that it hasn't gone away for me yet. Just less intense and much more time in between with each passing week.

Hosting a dinner tonight - haven't done much of this in the last two years. I'm not worried that I'll drink, but dinner parties were one of my favorite drinking times. Since I don't have much experience getting through them, I know I am just working out a muscle that needs to be worked out.

Nar - so close to 2 years! Can't wait to celebrate.

Pav