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    Good morning! Happy Monday!

    We leave to visit the in-laws next week. To be in their house for 5 days. I have enjoyed this time previously. But it has been the place that I've fallen to drinking in the past. I am also being more picky about eating - and I know that annoys the MIL. Heck, it annoys me. I'm not sure how to be the picky person - that has never been my identity. But the truth is that I feel MUCH better not eating certain things, and I can either feel like crap or eat what I want and feel better. Same goes with alcohol. It's just not a setting without temptation and not supportive to be any way other than the way THEY are. Husband reverts some too - as we all do in our family's space. SO I feel like I will have to be on defense - protecting me, my quit, and eat what I want to eat. I guess if they don't support that, they aren't worth my concern about what they think. SO - looking forward to the break - NOT looking forward to being on the defense. But that's part of life and this choice I guess. And the more we practice doing what WE need and speaking our truth and getting through situations we feel are hard - the stronger we become. I will probably need to be here a lot next week!

    Eloise, some of the events in the world are scary, disappointing, heartbreaking, and difficult to comprehend. There is no other way to put it. I have found that there are an equal amount of inspiring, kind, hopeful and good things that happen in the world every day as well. It must be hard to distance yourself from the Belgium attack if you are close to it (do you live near it? Did I mis-read that?). Sometimes it helps - and it is actually scientifically proven - that when we deliberately choose to put more energy and focus into the positive things happening in the world, THOSE things grow. At the time of the 911 attacks, I spend a good part of a year feeling very down and scared and powerless. I still wish I could do more - being one person - to propagate the kind of world that I feel is kind to all souls - but I have decided to try and focus on the positive things and it has helped me be happier in my daily life. I don't mean be blissfully ignorant - because we need to be informed - and I don't mean not to grieve... I just mean build the good by focusing on the good. It at least makes me feel like I am creating - or building on - something positive - and not so powerless. Prayer, meditation, recognizing and creating small acts of kindness daily - THESE things are contagious just like the devastation of an attack is. I feel the more energy I give to the negative, the more it builds as well. Anyway - not trying to preach - just sharing what has worked for me when I'm feeling disheartened.

    My son has this book called "The smile that went around the world". It is about a little boy who gave some cookies to some hungry homeless people, instead of bringing them to a party. Their gratitude made him smile so brightly, that he impacted other people in the hour following. Those people felt so positive from his smile that they smiled, and felt kind. They lost their irritability and smiled more and those people they helped smiled - until one of the end people ended up back with the boy and on a day he felt down, that smile returned to him. THAT is what I mean. What we do grows. :heartbeat:
    Last edited by KENSHO; March 28, 2016, 10:53 AM.
    Kensho

    Done. Moving on to life.

    Comment


      Hello all...
      Day 12 . Today is a good day.
      Did some activities with the children and ate some junk food ��
      Great to read these threads ...
      ------------------------------------------------
      AF 17th March 2016

      Comment


        Laeot,

        Congrats on day 12. Initial days are hard but then you will get over it. I found eating very helpful. My mind used to click on for booze at around 5 pm. And about that time I recall I used to start eating. Every day for few months I made sure by evening my stomach was completely full. You will be surprised by eating you will be able to control your temptations .

        Then I used to reward myself with ice creams. I developed a sweet tooth. Then coffee ...

        There is a genuine reason why this happens. The brain is starved. Your reward mechanism is brain is completely out of sync. With no AL it looks for substitute. So it's important not to over do anything like foodoing, in creams etc. But then first and foremost important thing is NOT drinking. So make surevery your stomach is full ... by evening ...
        Rahul
        --------------------------------------------
        Rewiring my brain ... done ...
        Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
        Rebooting ... done ...
        Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

        Comment


          Rahul, eating was the silver bullet for me, too! B
          All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
          Tool Box
          Newbie's Nest

          Comment


            Good evening Nesters,

            The wind is howling at the moment, we will likely lose power at some point tonight.
            Thought I'd better jump in & wish everyone a safe night in the nest

            El, I totally agree with Kensho. Turning my attention to other things & people was a great distraction for me, still is really. The time I spend doing things for others is time I don't spend worrying about 'my problems'. That is actually a good thing for me! We can't figure out & fix everything, some things we just need to accept :hug:

            Peace to all tonight!

            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment


              Good Tuesday morning Nesters

              Am I the first one up?

              Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

              Lav
              AF since 03/26/09
              NF since 05/19/09
              Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

              Comment


                Yes, I watch too much tv.
                We were watching Gotham last night and the young Penguin was reunited with his long lost father, who was riddled with medical conditions. The old man (played by PeeWee Herman!) had remarried a conniving woman with 2 adult kids and of course, they resented Penquin because he would muddy the inheritance waters! The father/son were talking and the elder said he didn't drink because of all his medical issues, but on this night, he was going to throw caution to the wind! To hell with it, he said, and he drank. Unfortunately, the wife had put something in the booze (battery acid, it melted the carpet) and Poor PeeWee petered out right there. HOW APPROPRIATE, I thought! This is a prime example of someone getting along GREAT without booze and then out of the blue he drinks and it's the end of it all.

                That's NOT unlike us. Booze is out to kill us. There are 1000 reasons NOT to drink and only 1 to succumb....we are addicted to AL.
                Don't be a PeeWee. Get quit and STAY quit. You will never regret it.
                Have a peaceful day!!! Byrdie
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                Tool Box
                Newbie's Nest

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                  Love it Byrdie! Battery acid! Thanks for your always inspiring posts! Where is everyone?

                  I was up until 2:45 am getting millwork out the door. I didn't once think of drinking, but I did think of my kids' jelly beans. I has a few. Better than booze!

                  I also have a new kind of cooking oil that is too tall to keep on my normal shelf. So I keep it on the bottom shelf of our pantry. It is similar to the shape of a wine bottle though, so every time I open the cupboard, I am washed over with panic! I used to hide my bottles there and take nips when the husband was not looking, facing the TV. Remembrance of a day in my previous life! I think I need to move it!

                  Have a positive day everyone!
                  Last edited by KENSHO; March 29, 2016, 10:07 AM.
                  Kensho

                  Done. Moving on to life.

                  Comment


                    Greetings from Ireland ...

                    Day 13 here ...

                    Great to read the stories here ...
                    Best foot forward !
                    ------------------------------------------------
                    AF 17th March 2016

                    Comment


                      Listening to a nice Bubble Hour, 'Things we used to drink over, and what we do today.'

                      Talks about navigating events we would otherwise have had trouble with like parties. They also shed a bit of light on the other side (life without alcohol) emphasising, for those starting out, that you will be able to partake in social events and enjoy them without booze.
                      I would have never imagined this possible either.
                      The self discovery after stopping drinking also resonated with me. I continue to realise small things that motivate me (like perfectionism!) I am currently driving myself nuts with the temperature gauge on my new oven. WHY is the temperature unstable?!
                      WHY does it take so long to heat up? WHY doesn't the temperature stay steady? (( Maybe because I keep opening the oven ??? )).
                      Still getting a handle on being me and I guess that is okay.
                      (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                      Comment


                        saved post twice... see below
                        Last edited by Eloise; March 29, 2016, 03:09 PM.
                        (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by KENSHO View Post
                          Good morning! Happy Monday!
                          Eloise, some of the events in the world are scary, disappointing, heartbreaking, and difficult to comprehend. There is no other way to put it. I have found that there are an equal amount of inspiring, kind, hopeful and good things that happen in the world every day as well. It must be hard to distance yourself from the Belgium attack if you are close to it (do you live near it? Did I mis-read that?). Sometimes it helps - and it is actually scientifically proven - that when we deliberately choose to put more energy and focus into the positive things happening in the world, THOSE things grow. At the time of the 911 attacks, I spend a good part of a year feeling very down and scared and powerless. I still wish I could do more - being one person - to propagate the kind of world that I feel is kind to all souls - but I have decided to try and focus on the positive things and it has helped me be happier in my daily life. I don't mean be blissfully ignorant - because we need to be informed - and I don't mean not to grieve... I just mean build the good by focusing on the good. It at least makes me feel like I am creating - or building on - something positive - and not so powerless. Prayer, meditation, recognizing and creating small acts of kindness daily - THESE things are contagious just like the devastation of an attack is. I feel the more energy I give to the negative, the more it builds as well. Anyway - not trying to preach - just sharing what has worked for me when I'm feeling disheartened.
                          We live in the Netherlands, so yes Belgium is close by.
                          I think it is a lovely way to look at things, what you mention, but also easier to think like this if you are an ocean away.
                          One of the reasons I left NYC was because I was tired of being terrified riding the subway.
                          I felt it was a matter of time before the subway was attacked. Thank god NY took things as seriously as they did.
                          I put a lot of positive energy into my art work, my home, husband and doggies.

                          Perhaps being a foreigner also makes me a bit on edge? And seeing desperate looking asylum seekers wandering around doesn't help. We have moved out of the city because I prefer it, and because I was constantly nervous about the racial tension.
                          The racial tension is something I could feel very strongly even if we lived in the best/safest part of the city. I just felt when I went into the centre that there was something wrong, but I couldn't say what.
                          It is a very scary time here and I have no intention to try and fool myself that I am making things bigger than they are, or I am going off the deep end about nothing.

                          I find, generally speaking, people here can look at things very passively. I was speaking to someone the other day and she blames all this on George Bush. Huh?
                          If Bush hadn't started with them after 911 we wouldn't be in this mess. Huh? I well remember these conversations.
                          These boys would be doing this kind of craziness regardless of GWB I am afraid.

                          Some may find is humorous to hear after this (stupid) conversation I chimed in about regardless I am happy to be American. Oh, and there also a conversation about Trump. How to be dignified about that one is tricky. Had to get 'creative.' My latest prayer: oh god save American our dignity and make Trump bow out of this race. It doesn't seem to be working.

                          And sorry Lav but I cannot accept that this is the way life is going to be.
                          No, I cannot.
                          (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                          Comment


                            Eloise, I'm really sorry if you felt that I minimized the situation or your feelings. :love::love::love: I just wanted to remind us all to be sure to see the positive too, so the negative doesn't eat us up. :victorious:
                            Last edited by KENSHO; March 29, 2016, 02:11 PM.
                            Kensho

                            Done. Moving on to life.

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by KENSHO View Post
                              Eloise, I'm really sorry if you felt that I minimized the situation or your feelings. :love::love::love: I just wanted to remind us all to be sure to see the positive too, so the negative doesn't eat us up. :victorious:
                              Not at all Kensho.
                              I know how you feel. I was in school in Paris in the 80s and they found an extremist in his apartment with enough explosives to blow up the entire 16th arrondissement. There were police in the street with machine guns everywhere. This is what I came home to after school one afternoon. I couldn't wait to get back to the US, once I felt safe there, and then I could slowly let it go.
                              Living in Europe is another story, these guys are impossible to ignore. Rather hard to turn the other cheek, so to speak. I felt edgy in NYC too, so I moved to an obscure island. who would bother to blow themselves up there? No one that is who.
                              Over here, it is creepy.
                              (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

                              Comment


                                Good wednesday morning from the humble beach pad over here.

                                Orf to the saltmines. And looking forward to it. Adventure ahead.

                                Take care out there y'all. Yo!

                                'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                                Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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