Newbies Nest

[Fin]

Good Morning, Fellow Nesters!
Another day, another dollar....or 58 cents, adjusted for inflation.

Fin and Laeot, keep the days rolling! Next thing you know, it'll be the holidays again and you will be SO happy that you've got all that time and experience BEHIND you! STICK with us....nobody was more a skeptic than I, and I lived!! I tell you, living WITHOUT the tug of booze is SWEEEEEET and only time and distance from booze will do that for you. CONSEQUITIVE days. Close that loophole. Ehehehehe. I used to say....'Well, so far this year I've had more AF days than days that I drank". The flaw in this thinking is that when we reinforce a behavior, it gets stronger (check with Pavlov's dog). So every time you drink you start over and it's HARDER. Heck, it we could count the AF days my time would be a lot longer....it's the days in a row that are AF that count...thus, Fin's Roll Call! Yes, Fin is the Father of our Beloved Roll Call!

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

YES! I woke up excited to post to Roll Call today. There's something really exciting about it. It's two fold. Last night we had a very intense conversation with my 16 year old daughter and for the first time in a long time, I was calm, cool, collected and loving. Guess what? No major blow up on either side. I left the conversation so proud of myself for staying in control. Then, woke up this AM with that awesome renewed energy that returns after the fog begins to lift. Thus, a brisk walk into work with my / Pavlov's labrador, and a post to Roll Call first thing.

Have a great day, everyone! Onward and upward one day at a time.

[Laeot]

Day 15...

Thanks for the words of encouragement Byrd !

My mind wanders sometimes as I romanticise a visit to the pub but I'm getting better at then visualising the after effect and the pain ......

[Samstone]

Laeot
one of the things that helped my quit was retaining a very clear memory of how bad I felt on my last hangover. Whenever the tempter showed its ugly face I would do a recall on that memory. It helps. I still keep that memory tucked away just in case.
Congratulations on your 15!
Best to you
Sam

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Looks like it was quiet around here again today.
I hope everyone is OK & busy working their plans.

Congrats again Fin & Laeot - both doing well!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Howdy!! Here and accountable! I struggled a lot in the first 60 days. But I will have to say that now, it seems more automatic to not drink, to not turn to AL for stress relief. Tonight my husband had some wine, and he asked me if I though I would ever drink anything again. I said "I doubt it!" He said, "Not even on our trip this summer?" I shook my head in disapproval. I finally said, "It's not like I can just go back to a little. I would be back to a person you don't want. I would be back to sneaking from my stash in my center console of the car - at night so you wouldn't know." He looked at me in disbelief, and I said "There's so much you don't know. Believe me, it's better this way." And then I changed the subject.

The thing is that although I really would like to believe I could someday drink in moderation, I know I would be right back to what I was doing. And actually, the longer I don't have any, the easier it is to accept that. The more it becomes habit to live a life without AL. Those drinking gaps fill in with other things. We listened to Native American flute music for dinner, and I cooked cioppino. On a Thursday night. What?! I would NEVER have done that in my drinking days. Cooking healthy and delicious food has become my way of validating my value of my family's health, decompressing at the end of a hard day, and a way to indulge in flavor without trying to find pleasure in a bottle.

Anyhow, Fin and Laeot, just push past the initial 30 days - then a few more, and one more and one more and all of a sudden you will see alcohol in a very different light. You will start to see it as a detraction from life waaaaaaaay more than as ever giving you ANYTHING positive. Even the buzz I used to like is crappy in retrospect compared to genuine human connection, taking care of myself and experiencing life without haze. Even the hard is somehow satisfying because it is real.

To everyone working to rid your life of alcohol, keep it up! I can guarantee you won't regret it!

[Matt M.]

Morning Check in From the great state of Texas.

I'm very grateful for my sobriety today, it has been said We are either working recovery or working on a relapse, when looked at that way it's pretty simple, at least for me anyway. One last thing though was funny, clichés yes, but fitting-

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Stay Hard freaks!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, fellow nesters!
Great to see the check-ins!

As someone who has looked back with plenty of regrets, I can tell you that keeping my quit has been one of the few things I have consistently done RIGHT! It took me a long time to be able to spend a weekend without feeling deprived or feeling the tug or experiencing the mind chatter that is JUST MADDENING. A drink is NOT worth getting all that back. The look of fear and disdain on my hubs' face is NOT worth a drinking binge. I've just got too much to lose and I don't plan to put that in jeopardy. OF course I get the occasional thought, but I push it out! Different things work for different people, but Lav told me to do that...I did and it worked! I can also 'play out the scene' with ease also....it doesn't take much to conjure up the awful images of my drinking. I wish I could delete those from my mind's hard drive, but maybe it's a good thing I can't. Like Sam, they keep me honest! I don't need to be falling over furniture or stairs or crawling thru car windows at my age! :egad:

No, it's not easy to break away, but I promise it is totally worth it. I say to myself, 'If you feel like you NEED a drink or that you really WANT ONE BAD? You gotta problem with AL and you are the very one that should NOT have it' Normal drinkers don't think this way. I was not/am not a normal drinker nor will I ever be. Once a pickle, never a cucumber!

Stay the course! It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille!! Byrdie

[Fin]

Thanks for the great posts today / yesterday, all. They are SO helpful. It does help calm, or center me as well when that voice is shouting at me to to drink to instead play out the scenario of what a drinking cycle looks and feels like. It's so not worth it, especially the next day when I can't even really remember what I was doing before bed time and the fog sets in thick early AM only to lift just in time to start the whole insane cycle again. It's such an awful existence, I swear.

Today I'm taking care of me and what's in my control which then helps me feel, connect and love everything and everyone in my path. Yes. This is where the gold is. Big love out to each of you amazing people doing this work...thank goodness we found each other.

Being good,
-Fin

[Lavande]

Greetings Nesters

Glad to see everyone!
I have had a great week hosting my 7 year old grNdson. We got thru 1st grade math & even a cub scout meeting together, ha ha!
This week never would have happened if I was still clinging to a bottle of wine, believe me!

Stay on plan you guys, have no regrets

Lav

[Dutch1988]

Finished all Marc busting my ass. Been pulling 55-60 hour weeks and I am finally making some headway on this business. I want to be making 6 figures by summer, it's been my goal for at least as long as I had been drinking. I'll keep you guys posted. As always, thanks everyone for all the strength and advice that kept me with the quit. My whole life seems better, every aspect of it.

[Eloise]

Awesome Dutch, glad to see things are working out nicely these days.

[Laeot]

17 days ...

It's a hard day today .
Depression and anxiety at a peak due to losing my self-medication I.e alcohol .
Dwelling on the past and worrying about the future ...

But it's a bad medicine which makes things worse in the long run. Just have to get through today...

[Need to quit]

Hi there, I got to day 23 and then caved yesterday and back to day one. The kicker is that after spending 2 hours at a block party not drinking I had a beer when a lovely friend of mine said want a beer? and I did. I know alcohol free is better and I just hate the idea that I'm only as good as my last sober day. All the work I've done down the drain? That can't be true. I did not go wild last night but I still feel regret and remorse for having fun for a couple hours - it was literally 2 hours. Then I went home and went to bed. The whole town was out and I felt so conflicted. I will continue to try to reconcile the conflict and get more consecutive alcohol free days under my belt.

[Need to quit]

Don't do what I did. I didn't even drink that much and it's not worth it. Starting over again, stinks. I wish I had read more posts yesterday. I wish I had taken the time. It was a very busy day coupled with some frustration combined with the annual spring break celebration. Here was the problem: I felt guilty even being out and I felt like I was doing something wrong when I actually wasn't - I got food first chatted with a bunch of people for a couple hours and THEN drank. I had 4 beers all together and now I feel like I'm starting from scratch. This stinks. I need to break this pattern.

[Byrdlady]

17 days ...

It's a hard day today .
Depression and anxiety at a peak due to losing my self-medication I.e alcohol .
Dwelling on the past and worrying about the future ...

But it's a bad medicine which makes things worse in the long run. Just have to get through today...

Fear of the future and regret of the past are the twin thieves of the present. I also feared a future without AL but you know what? The thing I should have feared was what would happen if I didn't quit. You are making a big positive step for your future! Everything will be better! I believe something so strongly I put it in my signature line. Hang in there!
NTQ, guilt/shame/remorse are part of this disease. We can put all that in remission. Get right back up and carry on!
Byrdie