Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

I think we all believed that at one time or another, Ican :haha:! It is for all AL warriors. You would be very welcome to post there. I do sometimes. The only glitch is that several regular posters are in England and Ireland so they are asleep in our evenings. It all works out, though.

[available]

Afternoon nesters

Congrats Bacman on your 100 days a great achievement and i hope you had a lovely day celebrating sober. When i made 100 days i bought an electric tootbrush and a new bra. Doesnt sound exciting now but i wanted to reward myself with something.

Dutch a huge congrats on your baby news. I do hope everything works out find this time for you and your family.

Good plan Ican and keep reading and posting. I was called lunatic linda in the beginning as i needed all the help i could get and felt no shame in asking. The shame i had was in drinking, now that is gone. I thought about using every excuse i could think of to drink in the first few months but i knew in myself if i didnt make an effort then no one could help me stay sober. This was one of the hardest things i have ever done but the quality of life i have now compared to when i drank is amazing.

Justme, hang in there, my sleep was shite for a couple of months and i had unbearable headaches but they settled down in time. I figured i put the shit in my body i had to be patient and let myself heal. Nap when you can.

Daisy if painting stones keeps you sober then paint away. I notice you seem to drink when you feel stress, are you working a plan on coping when stress hits. When we are newly sober it seems the world is crashing upon us as we are dealing with life sober and that is scary. Life is not perfect when we stop drinking but it is a hell of a lot better than living life as a drunk. I joined Sober Nation that you recommended awhile back and they have some great threads to read. If your mind starts a wandering check it out. It still reminds me of why i am sober and why being sober is so much better at my age.

I have realised in my sobriety that nothing is worth drinking AT. I found half plus of my family issues settled down when i could deal with them sober. I was so defensive when i drank and so opinionated that i did not and could not listen to anyone elses opinion or care for that matter. When people, especially my family seen that i was committed to being sober then they also began to trust me again and to heal themselves. Al affects not only us but those around us in a huge way. I never thought my drinking did any damage other than to myself but now i look back and see that sometimes (a lot) i was not there for anyone and that makes me sad but thats life. I have proven to everyone that is close to me that i am fully here now with sane advice and emotional support. I have proven to myself especially that i dont need to drink to be happy, i dont need al to cover up what is my life, i just needed to accept myself and who i am. I have removed toxic people from my life who are not positive in my sobriety but i know now i only have one life and if i dont make myself happy then no one else will do it for me. Acceptance of what we were and what we are now is for me unique as i have never had that feeling of peace.

Take care x

[daisy45]

You are totally right Ava.....stress is a major factor.
I have just rang the doctor before I read this. I want a total check-up. Been really sick 4 times since Christmas and I want to deal with it and the stress once and for all.
Smoking is a big part of me getting infections, so I am joining a smoking clinic.
Painting the stones has really distracted me in the evenings and the kids love getting up in the morning to see what I've done. Last nights was a swan. I paint something on the stone that I have seen that day.....that I wouldn't have noticed had I been drinking.
Got another great reason to live sober this morning....my son rang to say his girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant. A nanny twice in the same year! My daughter is due in 7 weeks.
Feeling very positive today and putting everything in place to get this done.

[Charlie2016]

Hi daisy sounds like a great hobby, I really need to get one myself to keep my mind off things. And congrats for your daughter and son. I'm feeling good today though it's only day 4 but I have been sleeping well and I have just starting eating 2 meals a day again :victorious: rather than my none or 1. Which I feel with not drinking is making me feel fab altogether . Everything is on the up

[Ican]

Good to see you again available. You were here during my first quit. I'm so happy to see yours stuck. Daisy and Charlie, hang in there!.

I woke up pissed off today. I slept reasonably well. I think maybe my OCD is acting up and it's making me angry at imagined slights. I will not drink today or tonight! Tonight is date night so I have to think of something non-drink related. Good day to all

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters,

Dark & very damp here in my portion of the nest again, oh well. We did end up having a sunny afternoon yesterday.

Daisy, congrats to you & your son & daughter! What a perfect reason for to jump on the AF wagon with us
The arrival of my first grandchild is what motivated me to finally get my head out of my a$$ once & for all. That's a decision I have never ever regretted. I hope you get your health squared away very soon.

Hello Charlie, great on your 4 AF days! You will be hitting a week soon & feeling quite proud

Ava, manic posting here (when necessary) is highly encouraged, ha ha! Whatever works, right?

Ican, work in a few minutes of mindfulness here & there to counteract that pissed off feeling, it helps.

I'm going to meet some old work friends for lunch today - we don't drink!!!
Wishing everyone a great AF day!

Lav

[aihfl]

Good morning everyone. It is a beautiful morning here in Central Florida, but the forecast high today is 90 and it supposed to storm tomorrow through Friday so summer is definitely around the corner for us.

I recently met someone with relationship potential, so I am very happy about that and that is just another great reason to stay sober. My marriage and last relationship ended very toxically but much of it was due to my drinking and abuse of prescription medications and I take full responsibility for that part of it, although both relationships had other issues as well. I've been around controlling women my entire life starting with my mother, but this new person seems very sweet. I don't want to wreck it by going back to my old ways and having history repeat itself.

I agreed to take some people sailing off St. Augustine on Saturday so this is a crazy week. I bought a used outboard motor off craigslist yesterday, but I still have to update my insurance, get a storage space for it in Orlando (it is currently in the water at a marina in Clearwater), and get a replacement license plate for the trailer.

Things are all well here, hope everyone else is the same. Have a great day!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Ican, you can search your last 500 posts, they come up (with a preview pane). You can also search threads you may have started, not sure how many of those, tho. Searching has always been a challenge for me on MWO....sorry that I'm not more help there.
Also, regarding waking up pissed off...direct all that anger to the source...ALCOHOL. Remember the stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This is definitely a process, as you know!

Great to see you, Charlie! Day 4 is awesome!!!

Available....that was a post for the ages!!! Wow! When I first started here in early 2010 (lurking latter part of 2009) I only checked in when there was a problem. When I felt good, I didn't check in, when I got caught or drank too much, I'd come here and wonder what I was doing wrong. Today, on Day 1910, I can see the folly in my approach. My advice would be: Don't wait til you hit bottom to get sober. The bottom is an awful place. Oddly enough, bottom today isn't the same as what it can be....cut your losses with AL and do it today. Your addiction is not going to improve unless you quit entirely. #2...stay connected with your support. For me, when I finally got serious about getting/staying sober, you couldn't pry me off this website. I still keep it open all day and check in and around. I post at least once a day, but I check in more often than that as part of my everyday routine. I enjoy it and it has worked so far. Finally, SLAM the door on AL and don't let any THING or any BODY derail you. This is life and death, and because I don't have a drink with someone isn't going to make the world tilt on its axis. Make the decision and STICK TO IT like your life depended on it....because for me, it does. Not one drink, not ever is my motto, that stuff is out to kill me.

Maybe you aren't as bad as I was....but if you are here, you will progress in this disease if you continue. I thought I could control AL, but I was so wrong. I fought it tooth and nail, I just knew I would be one of the 'LUCKY' ones to be able to moderate, but like Lav said, when I finally stopped BS'ing myself, I was able to succeed. Being able to drink doesn't make you lucky at all, it makes you think you can control addiction. Ask the heroin addict if (s)he can moderate. No. Why play Russian Roulette with it, I know in the end AL will win. AL always wins.

As Narilly's byline says...."You can have the life you want, or you can drink". No truer words.. stick with this, Nesters....I promise it is worth it. Byrdie

[Fin]

Back to Day 2 and man, again, feeling so much better. Yes, my daughter is 16 and a handful right now. Have a great AF day, all!

Being good,
-Fin

[Ican]

Fin, I have an 18 y.o. daughter and a 16 y.o. daughter. I went through hell last year with the 18 y.o. when she "hated" me. Now we are best friends most of the time. I am going to through similar with the 16 y.o. and it breaks my heart. Don't know what the problems are with your daughter, but teenage girls are self-absorbed and bitchy (most of them).....hang in there and I will too. It gets better. Like not drinking.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I spent a lot of time at first trying to figure out WHY I was having problems with alcohol. Was it my occasional depression? Too sensitive? Not parented well? Weak? ETC... It was such a relief to be able to let that go when NS and my reading around showed me that it was a vulnerability to alcohol that led to my addiction. There are others with depression, others who are sensitive, and they are fine. I had a vulnerability for WHATEVER reason. And all of those other things (including my perceived weakness) look SO MUCH BETTER without alcohol. They are still there, but my perspective has changed. I am empowered to accept myself for who I am, and face challenges with confidence. Such a freedom to get rid of the anchor of alcohol.

Ican - I never really understood "one day at a time" until I was trying to quit and started worrying about a trip I had planned for 8 months later. I realized that I would have to cross that bridge when I came to it, and work on one day at a time. Starting off with the both/and worked for me. I had to accept that I would never drink again, but I had to contemplate it one day at a time at the beginning.

Ava - I could never compete with Lunatic Linda, but I was reading and posting multiple times a day on multiple threads. The "me, too!" aspect of a sober community was and is comforting to me.

Fin - I work with teenagers for a living and have two at home. While I realize that figuring them out from a distance was far easier than from up close, I also have many, many examples of how the turmoil has transitioned into beautiful relationships. Most certainly, being sober for the ride will make it all much more manageable for you. For one thing, teens tend to want to talk and open up at weird hours of the night. If you are half in the bottle, you won't be able to be there for her emotionally when she might be looking for you.

OK, off to get some things done.

Bye,
Pav

[KENSHO]

For those who are contemplating if they are "bad enough"...

I did this for a long time. I suspect we all do. The thing I want to tell you is that you have no real grasp of "how bad" you are until you quit for a good while. I didn't have what I called "outward" symptoms of my drinking problem - like loss of a relationship, or a job, or being arrested or blacking out or having accidents or embarrassing public behavior. No one I knew would have suspected I had a drinking problem. I was one of those "functioning" drinkers, so I said. It is after a short 125 days of sobriety that I realize every single day that I was not "functioning" much at all. I was going through the motions without being caught, but my relationships suffered, my work suffered, and I did not like myself much. I couldn't fully see it then, but now I am so grateful for admitting that I had a problem - yes I - no one else - I - and I chose to stop that nonsense.

If you are here, you know you have a relationship with alcohol that is not healthy. No need to compare to others and their "symptoms". It is such a wonderful thing to "not hit bottom" and just reach up to being the truly functioning, grown-up, present, nurturing, focused, in-love-with-life person that I now am. Trust me (and many others here who have sustained way more sober time than me) that life improves in ways you can't possibly imagine while still drinking, and with distance you begin to see the reality of your problem more clearly. If you are here, you ARE THAT BAD.

Thanks for all the great posts. Welcome back Daisy, and all the new folks. So glad you are here! Taxes calling, so I'm of to the numbers. Take care of yourselves.

[Fin]

Ican, Pavati, thank you for the words of encouragement around my daughter. It means a lot. It's so insane at times right now it's hard to imagine things getting better. I just keep thinking it'll get worse and then I'll have no relationship with her. The root of the problem is that she can't handle "NO". She has a total fit when she can't have her way with parties, boys, iPhone, etc. Waaaaaahaa. Alas, I absolutely need to be sober going forward to communicate at all, so thanks again for the input.

[Justme Again]

Hi Nesters

Reading your post and feeling the warmth, love, acceptance and encouragement. It means a lot to me!!
Many wise things said. I take it in.
Day 6 went ok. Not good. Not bad. Just a run in with the "hunger-trigger".
Busy week for me, but good to forget about AL.

Will check in tomorrow.
Go well my DEAREST friends! X

[Overit-still]

Hi, I come sulking in. No excuses except being sick and TAX SEASON!!!!!!! Anyway, like Kensho said I've just gotten away with it forever, except now. I have the shakes so bad I can't even write my name. So, here's the question, cold turkey or do I need to reduce over a period of days (I don't know how I could control my reduction but I know how serious the DT's can be.) What is your suggestions?