Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had a great day with my 5 year old granddaughter. She's learning the ins & outs of riding a bicycle with training wheels. Yep, I ran right along side of her, ha ha!

Price, keep going, you will love the results!

Fin, what an awesome trip you will have. Be safe & enjoy the time with your son

Ican, lots & lots of deep breaths got me thru those rough times & anything to distract yourself ~ showers are good

Hi to Pav, Daisy, Ava, G & everyone!
Wishing a safe 7 comfy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Price]

I can sure relate to that.

[KENSHO]

Hi Everyone. I've been a bit MIA here - which is not a good idea. Things are fine though. For some reason, I wanted wine last night. I think it was being very hungry, and that there was some wine in the fridge. Didn't last long though. Amazing to me how that "if anything ails you, alcohol can cure it" reflex dies so hard.

Charlie, I am sorry about your child's diagnosis. I saw something on Facebook today describing how someone with autism experiences life, and it made me cry. Not because it was so much terrible, but because at the end, the little boy said, "I'm not naughty, I just experience things louder than you". I couldn't help but think that it will be a blessing for both your kids that you will be more experienced. You will not need to drink - you would miss what they have to offer!

Fin, sounds like a great trip! Have a great time! Enjoy the time away from your daughter drama

Ican, hang in there! The hard never lasts!

Pavati, I always love your posts.

Price, it is very nice to leave the night sweats, jitters, terrible sleep, irritability, self hate behind. It is SO worth the work.

Off to the coffee pot for half a cup. My last long night and tax docs will be complete. Down to the last minute. I think I really very strongly absolutely disdain accounting.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday to all

Kensho, I am pretty sure accounting would drive me, ha ha! Now that we have hit tax day I hope things ease up for you. I am at the point of just laughing off 'wine thoughts', you will get there too

I am looking forward to some decent, outside, gardening type weather this weekend. What's on everyone's plans?
Have a great AF day one & all!

Lav

[Ican]

Good morning
Waking up better (not great) and feeling glad I am not hungover. Today is Day 5.
I have to say that my 16 year old daughter is giving me angst. I know she is a teenager, but the way she treats me is horrible. I just fussed at her first thing in the morning because of it, and I don't like to do that. Then I feel guilty, and I don't like that feeling either. All these feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate them. Of course normally I would be hungover, and just let her be rude because I feel ashamed already and don't want her calling me out incase she knows about the drinking. I did a lot of that- letting people do things I didn't like bc I wanted to protect my drinking.

[Byrdlady]

I did that, too, Ican. It was hard to argue with people when I knew in my heart of hearts, either they were right, or would really pull out a zinger that I didn't want to hear, so it was easier to roll over and take it. NO MORE! Your confidence will grow stronger and you will learn to navigate all those feelings. They are new to us now and it takes time to sort them. Hang in there.

Friday at long last....it's just another day of the week, NOT a ticket to BoozeVille! Stay the course and I promise you won't regret it. Build your immunity! Byrdie

[Ican]

Thanks, Byrdie.
I am so mad and sad. Make that MAD and SAD. I want to blame everyone around me and at the same time myself. I am trying to act okay, because I don't want anyone to see all this junk in me. My husband says I've been on eggshells all week and nothing he can do is right. He asked if I changed AD's or blood pressure meds or something because I was in a cloud/rut. Argh!!!!!!!!!!!! He's right. I said well I usually drink all these feelings down, and he was like,"yeah that's prob it"
He says it's fine to be mad......or whatever. He says, get through your 30 days, but I think he thinks I will be purged by then and can drink again....IDK....I'm really just so full of feelings right now. I'm sorry this is all about me, but I cannot help anyone right now when I feel so lost. Unless it helps you knowing someone else is lost..then okay you are not alone.
Ican

[Price]

Good morning all. Today is day 3 and I've heard before that when one yo yo's for a long time (like me) that you get really bad quickly and you bounce back quickly when you quit drinking. Anyway that seems to be the case for me in this particular time. I feel so much better. Please God help me to remember that Alcohol turns me into a complete mess and into a person that I don't want to be and that its a depressant makes me utterly depressed and hate myself. It causes my life to be a wreck and when I remove it, the sun comes out again and things improve. What I love about MWO forum is that its not just one way to get sober, there are so many ways that people are finding sobriety... perhaps through AA, or healthy diet and exercise, or meditation, or...? Everyone seems to be finding their own way and sharing what works and supporting each other. That's so good! No two people are alike, nor are two addictions or compulsions or habits to pick up when feeling uncomfortable, so how could we all have the same path to getting better? Its nice to not be alone in this journey.
My husband is also totally getting on my nerves right now (and I'm sure its because he has a drinking problem and isn't as committed to figuring it out as I am). He was drinking last night and I don't like feeling responsible for him. He tends to lie about it and minimize it and I own my issues and tell the truth about it. So it pisses me off to live with someone who doesn't. But I got to let that go and not let that worry me. I love him and its his own path and I'm sure he will figure it out - or he won't.

[KENSHO]

I ruined one of our prized possessions this morning. I wanted this "thing" for a very long time, and didn't go for it because is't it silly to spend $350 for a blender? Well, the husband finally sprung for my incessant longing at Christmas - and I use the thing 2 times a day. I love it. I am a very practical person, so having a silly blender that costs that much is weird for me. Well this morning, I left spoon in it and turned it on. Bent the blade pretty good. I've told myself NOT to put a spoon in there ever for this reason, but I did this am and running on less sleep, I hit start. I know it's a stupid blender, but it felt like a splurge and so I'm really beating myself up. But that's not the worst part - it's how I reacted. When I get mad at myself, I need some quiet time to process it. But my husband is one of those who has trouble accepting mistakes (because he has a perfection complex and an asshole father), and so when he came down and the kids said "Mom blended a spoon", I immediately got on his case so he wouldn't shame me. I'm tired, yes, but I'm so mad that the last thing I need is to hear "That thing is ruined. You're going to have to call the manufacturer. Why would you leave a spoon in it?" I want to scream "I KNOW! I KNOW! BECAUSE I WAS STUPID!" So I said to my son when he told him "Thanks a lot!"

Well, that's a great way to teach a child to tell the truth

I just was so pissed at myself I didn't need to talk about it right then and deal with my husband's inability to accept mistakes. Just yesterday, he hit a curb and punctured his father's tire. He told me that he told his dad it was a pothole, so his dad wouldn't go down the same shaming road. To top it off, when I didn't get the kids' lunches made, he said "You're a mess this morning". F' off.

All stupid and irrelevant - sorry. Just not a nice morning. It's just a stupid blender, but it feels like a needless waste of money, and now I've been a bad example with my family. I just wish my husband could give me some space when things like this happen - to process and calm down. Even a half hour. And I feel really bad about my son.

[Ican]

Well Price and Kensho y'all both made me feel a lot better - and Kensho you made me downright laugh ....I can so relate to the whole post . Thanks

[aihfl]

Well, that's a great way to teach a child to tell the truth

NO kidding! My ex-wife would ride my ass so hard that eventually things got to a point where I would just lie to her in the hopes she wouldn't find out. And if she did, I figured I had nothing to lose because I was going to get reamed out either way. We're friends now but I sure am glad I'm not married to her anymore.

I had an absolutely shit day yesterday, but in spite of everything drinking was the last thing on my mind. I'll give the details when I have more time.

[Byrdlady]

OMG, I got reamed out by one of our vendors this morning! It must be a full moon! This vendor gave me the name of a customer who wanted to place an order. We did all the work for the first store he opened and he opened a second location and hired a real air head to manage it. Imagine Paris Hilton as this person, and I'm doing a dis-service to Paris Hilton. Now the vendor is calling me all sorts of names and calling my work into question! I got so mad when I hung up the phone I cried! How frustrating to give 100% to a tiny little account and then get accused of unprofessional behavior! I have customers with 1000's of stores who are less trouble than this guy with 2 stores! I typed out a scathing letter to my boss about telling him to assign it to another rep. Then I went to lunch. I didn't send that email. And I'm glad I didn't. I was mad, frustrated and just plain pissed off. But at no time did I consider saying 'F-it' I'm getting wasted! Learning new coping skills is what this is all about! Matt M says the muscle memory sticks with us a long time and it really does, but I'm happy to say that practice makes perfect....keep at this and you will find success!

5 o'clock can't get here soon enough! I'm turning off my phone and going in there to take a hot bubble bath!!

PEOPLE! (they really make me love my dog) xo, B

[Justme Again]

I didn't send that email. And I'm glad I didn't. I was mad, frustrated and just plain pissed off. But at no time did I consider saying 'F-it' I'm getting wasted! Learning new coping skills is what this is all about! Matt M says the muscle memory sticks with us a long time and it really does, but I'm happy to say that practice makes perfect....keep at this and you will find success!

5 o'clock can't get here soon enough! I'm turning off my phone and going in there to take a hot bubble bath!!

PEOPLE! (they really make me love my dog) xo, B[/QUOTE]

Wow, Byrdie. She really ruffled your feathers!
Had some tough moments at work this week, but thought- I handle it much better when I am not hung over...
Your right! Not worth running to AL.

[Justme Again]

Hi Nesters!

Been having trouble posting from my phone, but can at least read what's happening. Short messages seems to work.

[Justme Again]

It hits a note to read about parenting issues.

Charlie- hope you are doing better. Sorry for the diagnosis. I can relate to not being there for my kids while zoned out.

Fin- hope you had a great time with your child.

Ican- oh, yes! My daughter sees the difference when I drink and don't drink. Mine behaves better when I am sober, cause she knows I notice everything then!!😄