Newbies Nest

[Fin]

Day 8 and final day 5 with boy on road trip. It's been absolutely priceless being able to recall every detail of every day on this trip. My boy also thanked me for not smelling so bad. I now know what he means. It was like the whimsical powers of the universe made sure I sat behind two different men on the front end of our trip who had been drinking. The first guy was a young man, very nice. However, he had that smell...the really bad smell of a guy living in the streets. It wasn't BO, but that pickled smell of a serious alcoholic. Then, next guy is middle aged, dressed well, etc. He had clearly been putting down the drink in the airport before getting on our little 9 passenger plane. He has the smell of pure grain alcohol perspiring off his slightly sweaty neck. He looked grouchy and fatigued. Anyway, I has such empathy for both of these guys and at the same time, an utter disdain for alcohol. I don't want to be "that" guy any longer.

Have a great AL free day, All -

Being good,
-Fin

[Justme Again]

Ican - Know that agitated feeling. Get it a lot too. For no real reason. But think it will pass. Would be great to know when it is the situation causing it and not withdrawal.

Price - Can't imagine dealing with family now. It will push all the wrong buttons!
It must be convenient to bring up alcohol in a fight. Still struggle with it a bit. Yes, too much is a problem and affects others, but what does it have to do with the fight??
I realize now that I won't be reported at work and that it was just a way to shut me up in a meeting ... But still...

Pav & Daisy - good job going through your days, even if it sucks!!

Fin - that's what I am talking about!! I realize I MUST have grossed people out like that, but its still a bit difficult to accept.
And great compliment from your son!

[Justme Again]

TO be honest...
Being called out at work put me in shock mode. First day sucked. The rest was fine. Reality started to kick in round about day 9...
That feeling that something is missing!!
Keeping full really helps! Had some good sleep after eating a big bowl creamy pasta!
Last quit I really gained some... So, today I bought an exercise bike! Gonna paddle till I don't care anymore!
Also marked my whole calendar. If (WHEN) i reach December 31 it would be day 270!!!

I'M GONNA DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

[Eloise]

Safe travels tomorrow Brydie, please let us know once arrived safe and sound?
Wow Fin, you know I have had similar experiences of 'the smell' with my SIL. Awkward to say the very least.
Hang in there Justme Again, everyday is a step forward

[Justme Again]

Wow, saw your responses after I posted. Thank you for the support!
Yes, he was a jerk.
Yes, it saved me. Didn't realize on what bad a roll I was.

Funny thing, Byrdie, he got pulled over the weekend after meeting for DUI! And has no idea that I know!!
Enjoy your holiday! X

[KENSHO]

Howdy folks! Taxes are filed, payments made and I feel better. Have to play catch up here shortly, but I wanted to check in.

JUSTME, that "missing" feeling is partly behavioral (alcohol filled a lot of time for us!), and partly biochemical (our brains are used to it). But with time, the holes fill with other things that are WAY more fulfilling and rich than alcohol ever was. Give it time, and new pathways will form in your brain and you will have a whole new life, sans drink.

PRICE, my husband still drinks. My quitting has caused him to evaluate his use (after 2 years at it), and he actually drinks much less now. But we go out, and he has one beer and it doesn't bother me now. The trick is that we understand each other. He knows why I don't drink, and that it is inherently unhealthy, and I respect his decision to have a little if he chooses. I'm glad you are feeling "for real" and positive!! That's a great feeling! If any disappointing or down days sneak up on you, like they did for me from time to time, just don't jump ship, ok? You CAN get past them, and it will make those next positive moments even stronger!!

FIN - isn't it the most rewarding thing in the world when our kids are proud of us? I think I fooled myself for a long time that no one could smell me. YUCK! I met an associate the other day for a morning meeting and he REEKED. I was disgusted, and so glad it wasn't me. So glad you are enjoying the moments of your trip with your son

Byrdie, no work emergency is big enough that they can't deal with it until you get back. They may tell you it is, but they will figure it out. Enjoy your vacation, wherever you are going!!!

My blender drama settled down a few hours after it ensued. All is good, and I ordered a new part. My husband and I talked about him not chiming in every time someone makes a mistake and he listened. One of the benefits of me quitting drinking and "doing the work" is that it has really radiated to others as well. For the first time since I've met him, he is doing his own work. I think he now sees alcohol as the agent used to delay looking at uncomfortable situations and ourselves. He really doesn't want to be like his dad, and I see major strides in this goal. Of course, it could also be that I told him several months ago that I was losing interest in "trying" with him because he was not willing to make improvements. Either way, when I stopped drinking, the world became much clearer and I have begun to set boundaries for relationships and improve almost every aspect of my life. Really. It's that simple. Stop drinking and watch your life improve beyond what you can imagine.

That's it for now nest friends. Keep doing the good work, I promise you will never wish you "kept drinking"!

[Ican]

Posting - because I really am close to the edge - I just lost my shit with my kids for fighting - I have two of mine that just cannot get along - I spanked them both (I don't want to hear views on this sorry) I have probably my spanked them 2 times in their 13/11 years of life ---- so it's not like it's my main punishment - but they just don't quit with each other - so now I'm feeling angry and guilty and sad and want to drink

[Byrdlady]

Ican, drinking AT this situation will only add to the problem. This is what separates the sober from the active alkie, surf theu these feeling of anger and guilt. Get thru to the other side, no matter what. Take the option of AL off the table. Treat this as a moment of growth and learning, it is new for us. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. Stick close!!! B

[Quit wining]

Hi Ican - most have us have been there, done that and have the T-shirt. Dealing with fighting kids can be one of the biggest triggers for us with an al problem. And, al doesn't make it any better, in fact, it makes things worse in the long run.

Hang in there Ican. Take a break from the kids, talk to a friend, do anything BUT don't give in to al.

You'll feel much better and you'll be better prepared to deal with the challenges of raising teenagers.

I'm a member of our local youth justice committee and believe that we'd see fewer youth in trouble with the law if their parents had disciplined them when they were growing up.

All the best!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Twas a lovely Spring day in Lav-land
Gots lots of veggies & flowers planted & I heard wild turkeys gobbling in the woods behind our house - that's a new one, LOL

Ican, drinking at these situations won't help you or your kids.
Better to shut yourself in your room for some cool down time or go take a walk. My kids didn't fight that much but even a little is annoying. Do the right thing for you!

Justme, we had a brand new weight bench delivered today. It's still in the box, ha ha!! Enjoy your exercise

Byrdie, I wish you a wonderful vacation & safe travel.
Don't worry about us, we will be here when you get back

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav

[Ican]

Safe by the skin of my teeth

[daisy45]

A very busy day 10...... But happy to be here!
My doctor's appointment is tomorrow....hope to get someone that listens. Each time I go I get a different doctor and feel unheard....but I know something is up, just not sure what.
Anxiety is a major factor when I drink....I want to address it once and for all.
Up too late...need to get myself rested and ready for Dublin Byrdie!

[Ican]

Thank you to all who replied to my pleas.... I REALLY wanted to drink .... But it actually had started earlier in the day as I started making plans to go away to the lake this weekend. I was thinking "how will I do it?"
Anyway, when the kid thing hit it just seemed like well of course I need a drink now and if I have one today then i didn't do 30 days so why not drink at the lake? It was like a little set-up.
Anyway- the hubs came home early and I didn't have a chance to go buy anything (there are a few in fridge for him but I didn't want a few - I wanted A LOT- and he would notice his gone ) so I drank a NA beer while I played with my dog and watched him follow the baby chicks. Then he took me out of the house to visit friends for 30 mins and by the time we got back it was done - I told him I really needed a beer and he was like - nah, you're good....thank God .... I talked to my kids and all seems okay (until next time) ... Ate a lot of tacos and La Croix (I should buy stock in that company) thanks to all!!!!!!! Day 8 done

[KENSHO]

Way to go Ican! THAT'S how to build strong muscles! Great job!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Tuesday

That's great work Ican! Keep on moving forward like that or simply 'rinse & repeat' as Byrdie says!!!!

Daisy, I sure hope you feel better soon. Dealing with anxiety causes exhaustion, been there & done that myself. Have you ever tried St. Johns Wort? It really helped me out a lot. I had been given a Rx med but didn't like the overall numbness it caused. Think about trying something herbal like that. Great work on your 10 AF days!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday & wishing Byrdie 'Happy Vacation'!

Lav