Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

I haven't Lav, but I will definitely give it a go. I think it is hormonal, which I want to talk to the doc about. Also, why I have had at least 4 bouts of sinusitis/flu since Christmas....I am someone who never needed to see a doctor and now I have a list.
Saying that I feel good right now so making the most of it.....took our 2 babies for a 2 hour walk today.....first decent exercise in a while.
Went to the smoking clinic today....he told me to pick a date and we can get started....I have to call in once a week for 12 weeks...I think this might help as it keeps me accountable to someone. As long as I stick at it the patches are free......now to pick a date.

[Price]

Good morning all, Day 7 for me.
Daisy, anxiety is a major factor when I drink too! I've had anxiety since as long as I can remember and its amazing how alcohol makes it disappear. I feel anxiety in my stomach and it comes on all the time, when I least expect it. My friend who has been sober for 9 years told me that when I stop drinking that I have to be willing to be uncomfortable, and I think she's talking about sitting with the anxiety.
Kensho, thanks for the encouragement about the husband. Just when I thought it was smooth sailing, I had the most intense "I want to drink" as I was leaving work yesterday. First it was the I want a glass of wine, and then it turned into how I miss the 5oclock meeting up with my friends after work for a drink, or 3, or 5. And feeling sorry for myself, and its not fair, and why can't I.. and so on. I left out the part that when I do that, I don't make it home until 7:30 or 8 and skip being with my kids for dinner. Or how after the wine, I move on to martinis and head to the bar and sometimes the 5:00 goes on until midnight with me falling off the barstool and hitting my head splitting it open on a pong table, need not go on from here - cuz you all know how it goes.
The craving went on for about 30 minutes. By the time I ate something I felt better. When I went to bed last night, I thought to myself that I'm almost 7 days ahead of where I'd been if I drank (tonight) because if I drink I'd have to start over. I always start over because for 20 months, I have for real been trying over and over to get sober. Not just to cut back, but to legit quit. I've known that I need to quit so if I drink, I may drink for a day or a week or a couple of weeks, but I'll be starting my day 1 again and will be starting over... so whats the point. If I don't then I'm almost 7 days ahead of where I'd be. Anyway, this morning, if I had drank, I would be wanting to drink again and because I didn't drink, I'm having a cup of coffee and a smoothie and feeling good. And grateful for this blog so I can put down my feelings and glad there's a community out there (like me) that "gets it". Thanks for listening this morning.
I hope you all have a great day! xoxo
Price

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters,Price,you're doing beautifully, I love reading your posts anxiety is a trigger for me as well,however, if I drink one my heart starts pounding and the anxiety increases instantly, so what do I do? Keep drinkin until it finally goes away which is usually about a 6 pack in about 30 minutes, so I'm guessing that its not a great coping tool,I can,great on getting through yesterday Justme,how was work yesterday? I had coworkers rat me out a few years ago,my boss talked to me,I promised I'd never drink on the job again but all I did was find better hiding spots just shows you what lengths we'll go too,bloody ridiculous! Daisy,have you read Lizkers candida thread? She had horrible sinus problems too,like I do,worth a read anyways,safe travels to Byrdie,give Mick a big fat hug for me,hope we all have a great day

[daisy45]

Thanks Pauly.....I'll take a look

[Byrdlady]

We sure do 'get it', Price. That obsessive thought process is all too familiar to us. Once you get a few days under your belt, the investment becomes really valuable and at least it makes you think before you throw away all that effort and time. You have a wonderful 'stash' now and you can see the importance of protecting it....just like it were a pot of gold! That's how I feel about mine! I am NOT interested in starting over.

I can't wait to meet you, Daisy!!! Mick (from the AF daily thread) is already on his way to Dublin! This will be EPIC!

So far, vacation has been busy (work) UGG.....the messages all start with "I know you're on vacation, BUT...." t

[NoSugar]

Price, I saw a quote somewhere to the effect that "a year from now, you'll be glad you started today". That applies to just about any change we want to make in our lives and given that once we've made our way to MWO, there's probably no going back to "enjoying" drinking at any level, why not just get it over with once and for all? I feel bad for people with repeated day ones (and I had plenty of them myself before joining MWO) because you know they're just going to have to go through the worst of it all over again. And it shatters your self-confidence that that you can do it. But the thing is, you - all of us!- can do it. The moment we decide we're done, we are. It sounds to me like you've made that life-changing choice. All the best, NS

[Fin]

Good Morning, All. Made it home safe and sound after 2,000+ miles and six states traversed, all without a drop of beer. Yahoooo!

Life IS good and being good in it,
-Fin

[Matt M.]

Buenos Dias! ( Good Morning)

Checking in and reading.
Did a bit of reflecting this morning on my past 623 days sober ( but who's counting) reading through some journals I've stopped and started in many past attempts at this.

Looking back I do see a lot of pain, heartache, mistakes, and horrible choice. I was responsible for those problems due to my self absorbed, take no prisoners love affair with Alcohol, my addiction. Yet today when I look in the mirror, other than needing to shed about 20lbs, I see strength, learned lessons and pride in myself.
Not always easy, but I can say with certainty that long term sobriety has become more euphoric than any amount of alcohol ever gave me, and each day I get to do it again without regret.....

Stay hard Freaks!

[KENSHO]

Good morning! I completed taxes at noon yesterday. I (almost) completed entries for an awards ceremony last night at midnight - but the entry didn't take because the photo files wouldn't upload and once midnight struck the submission website closed. (really? a deadline for this on the same day as taxes? Teach me to be last minute!). Fell asleep worried at about 1:30. Dog woke us up barfing on carpet at 5:00. BLEH - I'm T-I-R-E-D! I have billing to complete and send out today - my least favorite thing.

But I caught myself last night at 12:01 am - when I thought I was screwed with my entry - realizing that two years ago I would have been drinking. And today would be an excuse to drink more, earlier. This morning, however, I find myself feeling grateful that I was able to "fix" my entry (and its good!), and I am looking forward to billing so I get paid (always a good thing), and for a reward, I will get to watch my favorite show while folding laundry tonight and go to bed early. Doesn't sound like the old me - but it sure sounds more positive. Drinking has been replaced with a whole different set of things that I enjoy (tv and sleep to start with!).

If you are new or lurking, please believe that the first weeks are the hardest. You will WANT alcohol because it is what you have used to cope for a long time. And your brain will want the sugar and the dopamine rush. You will feel empty, irritable, tired, and discouraged at times. You may feel raw with emotions you haven't chosen to feel for awhile. You may wish you could "start tomorrow". But if you can get beat the beast for a short time - with tools and plans and a list of things to do besides drink (eat, walk, sing, count ceiling tiles), you will find that the cravings (mostly) go away. You will (bravely) choose to face uncomfortable situations and you will learn to cope with them differently. You will learn to fill your time with healthy things. And you will find yourself late one night saying to yourself - gosh, I don't even want a drink - I'm just happy to be "going to bed", or "eating a piece of chocolate", or "having a conversation with my child/friend/lover", or "listening to my favorite song". I promise. Be brave and take us on faith that this will happen for you if you can just choose to work though the first hard few weeks! It's not a lot to sacrifice for years of health and happiness to come. :heartbeat:

[daisy45]

Me too Byrd!
Pauly, thanks for directing me to that thread....it decribes just how I have been feeling these past few months. Going to get a candida-cleanse asap!
Just back from the doc....she was lovely and really listened. Have to get my bloods taken tomorrow then we will take the next step. After reading Lizker's thread I can see a connection there too.
So, I have finally taken some action and this should help in my sober journey.
Was looking at mobile homes by the sea.....would love to get one....somewhere to get away from everyday life.
Today is sunny and feels good!

[Eloise]

Awesome post Kensho!! haha... funny right? Stop drinking= life gets easier. Hm, who would of thought that? Not me, that is for sure!!
Other funny thing is how the day after we decide to quit that everything should be suddenly 'fixed.'
It does happen though, just takes a bit more time than we would like.
Sounds like you are doing great to me!

[Eloise]

hey Price!

Yes, you must eat... that will help a lot. I just want to say that I think you are doing great and the right thing.
Hang on there, what is the plan for the coming 7 days?

Good morning all, Day 7 for me.
Daisy, anxiety is a major factor when I drink too! I've had anxiety since as long as I can remember and its amazing how alcohol makes it disappear. I feel anxiety in my stomach and it comes on all the time, when I least expect it. My friend who has been sober for 9 years told me that when I stop drinking that I have to be willing to be uncomfortable, and I think she's talking about sitting with the anxiety.
Kensho, thanks for the encouragement about the husband. Just when I thought it was smooth sailing, I had the most intense "I want to drink" as I was leaving work yesterday. First it was the I want a glass of wine, and then it turned into how I miss the 5oclock meeting up with my friends after work for a drink, or 3, or 5. And feeling sorry for myself, and its not fair, and why can't I.. and so on. I left out the part that when I do that, I don't make it home until 7:30 or 8 and skip being with my kids for dinner. Or how after the wine, I move on to martinis and head to the bar and sometimes the 5:00 goes on until midnight with me falling off the barstool and hitting my head splitting it open on a pong table, need not go on from here - cuz you all know how it goes.
The craving went on for about 30 minutes. By the time I ate something I felt better. When I went to bed last night, I thought to myself that I'm almost 7 days ahead of where I'd been if I drank (tonight) because if I drink I'd have to start over. I always start over because for 20 months, I have for real been trying over and over to get sober. Not just to cut back, but to legit quit. I've known that I need to quit so if I drink, I may drink for a day or a week or a couple of weeks, but I'll be starting my day 1 again and will be starting over... so whats the point. If I don't then I'm almost 7 days ahead of where I'd be. Anyway, this morning, if I had drank, I would be wanting to drink again and because I didn't drink, I'm having a cup of coffee and a smoothie and feeling good. And grateful for this blog so I can put down my feelings and glad there's a community out there (like me) that "gets it". Thanks for listening this morning.
I hope you all have a great day! xoxo
Price

[moni]

Hope everybody is okay. I haven't been very good at checking in as I'm in the middle of a huge research project and so busy typing.

[Price]

Great post Kensho. For sure what I needed to read tonight. I just got in from a travel day. And oh my, travel days are when I like to drink the most (or used to). It's the anonymity of it all and that old feeling of getting to check out. I don't travel as much as I used to (alone) but instead go back and forth between two cities that I have two of my businesses located. When I'm in the non-home based city, it's a big trigger because its where I've really drank the most over the past 2 years. And that's where I headed today. And my mind was filled with the thoughts of "I'm totally ok, I can drink normally, I'll just pick up some wine and have friends over, and hey, I think I'll make dinner plans and get margaritas with friends tomorrow night - what fun in the spring time!". Reading Kensho's post was a good reminder that these first few weeks are hard, really hard - and probably why I've not made it past the first few or several weeks (or not far past them).
So Eloise asks, what's the plan for the coming 7 days? Be willing to be uncomfortable. Keep posting on MWO, remind myself that repeating the day 1 sucks and destroys my self esteem and is so hard on me. Its a depression that's hard to remember when I'm not in it. And the drinking really is like dealing with the most dangerous thing I can think of - because when I start drinking, I really don't know what might happen. It might be fine for a night or a week but then all the sudden when I really twist off, something terrible happens and I can't take it back. There's nothing sweeter than waking up in the morning without a hangover having one more day clear. It's like putting "self care" tokens in the bank. I need to really build them up because God knows I'm super low in that account. Thanks for all of your support! xoxo Price

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Hump day!

Moni, good to see you checking in. I hope everything is OK with you

Price, those 'self care' tokens are more important than anything! Good for you making your quit #1 in your life right now. Keep working on those AF muscles & have no regrets!

I have lots to do today so I'll just wish everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav