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    Good job Price!! That's what you need to do! I found that distraction was the best tool - and having a NA drink at all times. I came home and filled my glass with sparkling water and kept it in my hand and filled ALL NIGHT. The cravings passed. I also ATE like a mad woman, which helped tremendously.

    Change is HARD. You (and all of us) made a habit of drinking in certain situations (which became most situations for many of us). Extra tired - drink. Worked extra hard - drink. Traveling - drink. Celebration - drink. Tuesday - drink. We have to actually RE-WIRE our brains, because alcohol becomes the go-to solution. This is uncomfortable, but not permanently. Every time you DON'T drink, new little pathways in the brain begin to form. The old pathways never go away totally, but they get dusty when not used, and the new pathways become the path of least resistance over time. Does that make sense? Making the new pathways feels strange at first, but if you can just get through the hard first part, it all falls into place. So to get through, arm yourself with an arsenal of tools (see toolbox for lots of great ideas!): Have a conversation with your kids (and really listen), call someone, pick up a book, swallow lemon juice, put on some music, exercise (moving the body helps!), say the alphabet backwards, pet a furry friend, make yourself wait 10 min.- then 10 more, scream or freak out - JUST DON'T DRINK. Cravings usually don't last very long. Your brain is screaming for alcohol, but you don't have to give in.

    After the first few weeks, you will find you are much more able to deal with the shit of life. And you will feel things more strongly - after all, we numbed ourselves for so long, that once we take away the numbing agent, things feel a bit strong. Expect this. Take the time and space you need in those early days. When your triggers come up - the things you numbed with alcohol - the trick is to actually DEAL with them, and not turn to drinking again to hide. I think this is where many people, myself included, fall backwards. The good news is that with some AF time, you are able to think more clearly and you become driven to solve problems, not cover them up.

    Be brave my friends! You CAN do this! Be kind to yourselves and trudge through the process. Because we are ALL worth a true, honest, real life - not one masked by an anesthetic.
    Last edited by KENSHO; April 20, 2016, 10:02 AM.
    Kensho

    Done. Moving on to life.

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      Goooooood Mooooorning. Just logged my 1,000 post and appropriately, to Roll Call. Next, the 100 Day goal and beyond. The time is NOW. It's the power of 10. Day 10, Goal 100, Post 1000

      Be good,
      -Fin
      Last edited by Fin; April 20, 2016, 10:19 AM.
      Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
      Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

      Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

      Go forward boldly and unafraid

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        Great job, Fin!
        We got into Dublin this morning at 10 and have spent the day with Mick and his lovely wife! It has been a great day! It is such a relief to not have the tug of AL pulling on us. We are pooped! It has been a wonderful experience meeting someone from MWO in person! Hugs to all, hang in there! Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          Good evening Nesters!

          Glad you made it safe & sound Byrdie - have fun

          Fin, you know 1,000 posts makes you a Senior member now, ha ha! Good for you!

          Kensho, you are so right that we can all do this. I am so far removed from the person I was 7 years ago, it's not even fnnu ~ or maybe it is, LOL

          Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

          Lav
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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            Hi, Nest:

            Price, I totally relate to the "it's not fair!" feeling. I still have it from time to time, but I do what you do every time (who was it here who suggested it?) I play that "one" out to the end, and I remember the worst hangover I've ever had, I calculate all the things I get by not drinking, and by then those thoughts have passed.

            Matt - I found old journals and realized how long I was questioning how much I drank. I told my husband that if I keel over tomorrow he should throw my old journals away (I ALWAYS write when I am upset - so much DRAMA), but I wanted to keep them as reminders for now.

            Glad you survived, Ican, and recognized that you were setting yourself up to drink at the weekend. Another sober muscle built.

            Kensho - thanks for the posi-bombs you're throwing. You sound great. And grateful. That's what counts.

            Night, nest. Stay close and ask for help before you drink.

            Pav

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              Hi Nesters

              A quick share. Yesterday, on 14 days, another colleague talked to me about that horrid meeting. He said: "Even if you did smell like alcohol..."
              Very quickly AL talked back suggesting that I could get away with it.

              Later, driving home, I felt really relieved that my secret is out ( in a kinda safe way). My work and social life and other public life don't mix.

              Furthermore I managed to paddle my bike a full 10 mins on the easiest setting. Its a beginning.

              Really good posts from all of you! Thank you for sharing your journey.

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                Okay, maybe it is a good thing to put it all in writing?
                I good, non-judgemental observations of the situation and why you decided to quit.
                Maybe try and think of this in stages? For now, for today, for the coming hours... no wine. I had to think of it like that in the beginning, otherwise it seemed too overwhelming.
                Forever? Huh? Never ever? Really?
                It takes time to get there. Honestly, I still have thoughts of drinking and when I do I do not chime in with 'i will never drink wine again.' I try and think more along the lines of 'i have chosen to stop and it has been a very good thing for me.'
                What I am saying is maybe go easy on yourself? And, don't forget you deserve lots of rewards as you move through all this!
                Nice moments that do not involve drinking.
                Originally posted by Price View Post
                Great post Kensho. For sure what I needed to read tonight. I just got in from a travel day. And oh my, travel days are when I like to drink the most (or used to).
                So Eloise asks, what's the plan for the coming 7 days? Be willing to be uncomfortable. Keep posting on MWO, remind myself that repeating the day 1 sucks and destroys my self esteem and is so hard on me. Its a depression that's hard to remember when I'm not in it. And the drinking really is like dealing with the most dangerous thing I can think of - because when I start drinking, I really don't know what might happen. It might be fine for a night or a week but then all the sudden when I really twist off, something terrible happens and I can't take it back. There's nothing sweeter than waking up in the morning without a hangover having one more day clear. It's like putting "self care" tokens in the bank. I need to really build them up because God knows I'm super low in that account. Thanks for all of your support! xoxo Price
                (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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                  Good morning, Nesters!
                  Day 2 in Dublin means meeting Daisy! I am so excited to meet another nesters!!! Big doings!
                  Great weather so far and having a wonderful time with Mick (from the dialy thread). Just a wonderful man!
                  Hugs to all, I promise all the struggle is worth it in order to achieve MindPeace!!! Hugs to all, Byrdie
                  All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                  Tool Box
                  Newbie's Nest

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                    Wow Byrdie! That is so cool that you are spending time with Mick, nice!
                    And Daisy too. Beautiful day here on the continent too. Enjoy!!
                    (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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                      Good morning Nesters, happy Thursday

                      It's shaping up to be a nice day here in the homeland as well Byrdie, have fun!

                      I went & picked up my granddaughter last evening so I will be extra busy today & tomorrow. These are the times when I am especially grateful for my AF life!
                      We can all do this with a good plan & some good old fashioned work

                      Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Thursday!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                      Comment


                        Good morning! Way to go on that bike JUSTME. When I was depressed in high school, I would make myself go to they gym, even if I walked one lap, and did one sit up. Regardless of what I actually did, I generated a habit that eventually blossomed into a more rigorous workout routine, and it helped me feel good about myself!

                        Have a positive day everyone. Remember, there is something positive in EVERY situation.
                        Kensho

                        Done. Moving on to life.

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                          Hello everyone! That's just the same as me Kensho. I do yoga whenever I get depressed nowadays. Not only do I get to prevent myself from drinking, I get those happy hormones coming too.

                          Have a nice day guys.

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                            Howdy, All. Well, had my first real pull to drink last night of this latest quit. It comes when I'm idle. So, I went to the do-it-yourself car wash with my dog and that was that.

                            It's so cool that Bryd is with Mick? We've got an amazing global crew in this boat...

                            Pulling for us all,
                            -Fin
                            Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
                            Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

                            Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

                            Go forward boldly and unafraid

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by Eloise View Post
                              ...Maybe try and think of this in stages? For now, for today, for the coming hours... no wine. I had to think of it like that in the beginning, otherwise it seemed too overwhelming. Forever? Huh? Never ever? Really?
                              It takes time to get there. Honestly, I still have thoughts of drinking and when I do I do not chime in with 'i will never drink wine again.' I try and think more along the lines of 'i have chosen to stop and it has been a very good thing for me.'
                              Yes this is precisely how I do it too, and I've got over a year now. I still have fairly regular thoughts about drinking. Just the other day, the tv announced the winner of a state primary here in the US and exclaimed that the presidential candidate was "celebrating his victory." The first thought that popped into my mind was "Huh? How can he celebrate it- he doesn't drink!" I don't know, I guess I still have weird conceptions about alcohol.

                              So I guess my point is that for me--and maybe even for most of us--the idea of never drinking again is much too overwhelming. So we just go at it one day at a time. And what's so wrong about that? Nothing, for sure, if that's the best we can do.

                              But I believe the AA 12-step model prefers that the person completely surrender the thought of ever drinking again in step 1, because this complete surrender eases the way for steps 2, 3 and beyond. Anyway, that's more than I can do, if I'm to be honest with myself. (I am all for AA and the 12 steps, by the way, (well, steps 2-12 that is), though I haven't been to a meeting in some 30 years.)

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                                By the way, what is the big deal about wine, girls? I can honestly say that even if I could drink wine and maintain complete control, and even if somebody stocked my cellar and my fridge with various kinds of wine, all the bottles would go unopened year after year.

                                Just trying to point out that although many of you believe wine has godlike qualities, many of us problem drinkers rank a bottle of wine someplace below a can of diet coke!

                                Now, an ice cold beer- well, now that has godlike qualities.
                                Last edited by lex; April 21, 2016, 01:39 PM.

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